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  • FIRST POST
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 1st Jan 18, 9:31 AM
    • 1,812Posts
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    Fireflyaway
    This for 30 years....?
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 18, 9:31 AM
    This for 30 years....? 1st Jan 18 at 9:31 AM
    Does anyone else feel a bit down faced with the prospect of working for the next 20,30,40 years?!
    Part of me feels lazy for complaining, but I feel I'm missing out on so much being in work. The job itself is OK. Close to home, pays OK but during the week I have no time for anything. I suppose that's normal.
    The world has so much to offer and I might not make it to retirement or be too poor / immobile to enjoy anything when I do. Feel like life is passing me by. How do others cope with this?
Page 3
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 2nd Jan 18, 10:38 AM
    • 1,812 Posts
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    Fireflyaway
    I did think about sport. I used to love horse riding. Maybe once I've lost a few pounds I might re look at that!
    • Samsung_Note2
    • By Samsung_Note2 2nd Jan 18, 11:55 AM
    • 445 Posts
    • 178 Thanks
    Samsung_Note2
    I did think about sport. I used to love horse riding. Maybe once I've lost a few pounds I might re look at that!
    Originally posted by Fireflyaway

    Not very MSE loosing a few pounds...you should gain a few pounds so the horse riding doesn't cost you so much...

    Quite a few livery stables appreciate helping hands...in return for a hack,might be worth looking at.
    If my appalling spelling offends you that much...dont read my posts.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 2nd Jan 18, 12:40 PM
    • 2,776 Posts
    • 7,406 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    What do you do? Is there any possibility of retraining or doing something to get into a job that you enjoy? I know that its not possible for everybody to love their work, but if you can be one of the lucky ones who do, its so life enhancing. I genuinely enjoy or get satisfaction from almost every moment I spend doing my job (almost, nothing's perfect!) and it really does make such a huge difference to your overall quality of life and happiness level. That time doesn't feel lost, or wasted, it feels like time well spent.
    • esmy
    • By esmy 2nd Jan 18, 3:06 PM
    • 1,046 Posts
    • 4,076 Thanks
    esmy
    I'm now retired (early) but remember the shift from part time to full time well. My advice would depend on what you hope to do with the extra income but assuming you will have a bit of flexibility, my tips would be all about buying 'time':
    1. Shop online as others have recommended. It took me around 15 - 20 minutes to do the business and another 5 -10 to put it away.
    2. Pay someone to take some of the household load - this is after getting OH and kids to do their share. I paid someone to iron, my most hated chore, but could be a cleaner, decorator etc.
    3. Make sure all your leave isn't about childcare - I know this is hard especially for school holiday times - but if you want to take half a day or a day just for you occasionally, do it.
    4. Make sure your childcare is reliable and fits with what you need - you don't need to be stressing over this.
    5. Drop your standards - no one will come to any harm if you don't hoover daily!
    • fitnessguy1
    • By fitnessguy1 2nd Jan 18, 3:44 PM
    • 526 Posts
    • 459 Thanks
    fitnessguy1
    my goal is to start a business of my own. i never considered it until recently, but i thought about it and realised i am not going to go back to education as it's not for me, so starting a business is the best way to make it for myself.

    i can control when i work and if it's successful or not. it's all down to me ultimately. at the moment i am working a normal job to save for it, but i will admit there are times when i would rather just use all my savings and find a way of earning money while travelling the world. i am definitely an adventurer/risk taker at heart.
    • fitnessguy1
    • By fitnessguy1 2nd Jan 18, 3:46 PM
    • 526 Posts
    • 459 Thanks
    fitnessguy1
    you can earn money from almost any interest you have. i would say research ways of earning money while working your passion/interest.
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 2nd Jan 18, 4:16 PM
    • 2,588 Posts
    • 4,296 Thanks
    Tabbytabitha
    Oh dear! Made me laugh! My husband does offer to help but because he is gone from 6am to 8pm I don't like to accept during the week at least. Like the idea of making a game like Mary popins!
    Anyway on another note...... Be careful what you wish for. Got in the car this morning and it wouldn't go into gear! Now at home waiting for RAC!!
    Originally posted by Fireflyaway
    Why "help"? It's just as much his responsibility as yours even if he has fewer hours available.

    I'm sorry to sound negative but if you want a better work life balance and more time to yourself, starting your own business is likely to be the absolutely worst thing to do.
    Last edited by Tabbytabitha; 02-01-2018 at 4:22 PM.
    • bugslet
    • By bugslet 2nd Jan 18, 6:35 PM
    • 6,151 Posts
    • 29,599 Thanks
    bugslet
    my goal is to start a business of my own. i never considered it until recently, but i thought about it and realised i am not going to go back to education as it's not for me, so starting a business is the best way to make it for myself.

    i can control when i work and if it's successful or not. it's all down to me ultimately. at the moment i am working a normal job to save for it, but i will admit there are times when i would rather just use all my savings and find a way of earning money while travelling the world. i am definitely an adventurer/risk taker at heart.
    Originally posted by fitnessguy1
    Control when you work? Doubt it.

    No idea what you have in mind, but say you were a personal trainer, you'll turn up when your client wants you to. If you're a graphic designer, you'll work to a deadline and if it isn't 'right', you'll do it again. Of course there are jobs where you can work to hour own schedule more than other jobs, but you will still have a boss aka a client, and you will work to their timetable.
    Last edited by bugslet; 03-01-2018 at 7:45 AM. Reason: Spelling
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 2nd Jan 18, 7:31 PM
    • 17,137 Posts
    • 45,090 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    I've pretty much resigned myself to another 30 years of my job. Theres someone i work with who's 50+ so if she can do the job i can manage. If my mood ever stabilises enough i'd like to try for a senior role but currently wouldn't be able to cope with the added stress/responsibility. I can;t see myself getting another job and having to start again, i feel lucky to have a jobs thats accommodated my disability well and think another would be hard to find
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    "I just need to be alone right now, i just wanna take a little breather"
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 2nd Jan 18, 7:35 PM
    • 62,786 Posts
    • 367,894 Thanks
    PasturesNew
    I got bored of it after I'd been working full-time for about 7 years or so and realised I'd got another 40 years of that, day in, day out, relentlessly plugging on and on and on....

    The only way to stop is to marry well. That's the bit I didn't manage to do...

    I'd be happy to be "just a housewife" ... pottering around, talking nonsense with ladies who lunch .... I've never had any desire to "reach the top" .... in the main those phrases are just cons to get people to work longer and longer hours (often for free) in pursuit of the promotion/advancement that is rarely actually available to be attained... but still they dangle the carrot of deceit.

    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 2nd Jan 18, 10:40 PM
    • 20,161 Posts
    • 33,390 Thanks
    Spendless
    Going from p-time to f-time can be a bit of a shock to the system. Especially if the last time you worked longer hours was before child/ren. I struggled when I first went full-time with all the things you mentioned. At first I did my grocery shopping on a weekend, but felt it was taking up a 1/4 of my 2 days off. I shop at Aldi now, so on-line not an option, but I go on a Friday evening when my DD is at an out of school club. I'd only be in the waiting room or just commuting back and forth to drop off and collect, so I see doing the shopping as 'stolen' time.

    My parents only live a few streets from us, and now they've retired they aren't as busy in the evenings so I pop in roughly once a week for a cuppa.

    What I call the washing and the washing up (all aspects of meal preparation and also the laundry) are the two largest time-consumers of chores I find.

    Dark nights (and mornings!) don't help. It's hard to get out of the mind-set 'it's too dark to do anything' rather than it's only 7pm. It took me years to make myself think differently.

    Agree with don't use all your AL on school hols. You're earning more so book some holiday clubs too. With you mentioning 11 years, I'm guessing child has gone to Secondary school? They will start to become more independent which in turn will free you some time up.
    • Planet Switzerland
    • By Planet Switzerland 2nd Jan 18, 11:26 PM
    • 157 Posts
    • 118 Thanks
    Planet Switzerland
    Yes very much so.


    The job itself is ok, but even if I did something I thoroughly enjoyed I would probably stop enjoying it due to the quantity of hours I spend there. It's all very well saying you have as much leisure time in a day as work time, but as far as I'm concerned lunchtime and commuting time are working hours, I might not be working but I'm doing what I'm doing because I'm at work.


    I think another thing though is having to work to simply exist. When I started working part time as a student it was simple, a few hours of boredom gave you money to have a few hours of fun. Now its a whole week of boredom means you can now keep a roof over your head for another week.


    I've always liked the thought of early retirement, still do. However I have a relative who's nearing 80 and still works and I thought he was mad, but he doesn't have an awful lot to do at work, only does 2 days a week and it pays him more than a pension would, so actually it doesn't sound too bad.
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 3rd Jan 18, 11:31 AM
    • 1,812 Posts
    • 1,963 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    Why "help"? It's just as much his responsibility as yours even if he has fewer hours available.

    I'm sorry to sound negative but if you want a better work life balance and more time to yourself, starting your own business is likely to be the absolutely worst thing to do.
    Originally posted by Tabbytabitha
    I think you got me mixed up - I don't intend to start my own business.

    Re childcare. I don't use all my leave for childcare. There are so many school holidays it would be impossible. I'm lucky we have flexible working so if I accrue a few extra hours then take a day or half a day off. Up to 14 a year so I might plan how to take off half a day each month.

    I really wish I'd known at a younger age what I wanted to do! I'd love to enjoy my job and work my way up. Never had the urge to do a particular thing though (apart from vet medicine but I lack the brains!) I'd still consider retraining if I knew, but I just lack ideas.

    Marrying well! That's funny! I could technically stay at home but I think both my husband and I would wonder what for when I may as well earn and further improve our situation.
    Last edited by Fireflyaway; 03-01-2018 at 11:35 AM. Reason: T
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 3rd Jan 18, 11:55 AM
    • 2,588 Posts
    • 4,296 Thanks
    Tabbytabitha
    I think you got me mixed up - I don't intend to start my own business.

    Re childcare. I don't use all my leave for childcare. There are so many school holidays it would be impossible. I'm lucky we have flexible working so if I accrue a few extra hours then take a day or half a day off. Up to 14 a year so I might plan how to take off half a day each month.

    I really wish I'd known at a younger age what I wanted to do! I'd love to enjoy my job and work my way up. Never had the urge to do a particular thing though (apart from vet medicine but I lack the brains!) I'd still consider retraining if I knew, but I just lack ideas.

    Marrying well! That's funny! I could technically stay at home but I think both my husband and I would wonder what for when I may as well earn and further improve our situation.
    Originally posted by Fireflyaway
    Apologies, I did muddle you with someone else on the question of self employment. (Although I didn't mention "marrying well" either, it isn't a concept that would even cross my mind.&#128512
    • xapprenticex
    • By xapprenticex 3rd Jan 18, 12:45 PM
    • 1,459 Posts
    • 1,429 Thanks
    xapprenticex
    If you are going to 'marry well', it will come with its own set of problems. The husband knows the wife is in it for what he can provide, the wife know the husband is in it for the xxx.

    The wife usually has to have bodily assets to match the husbands material assets. Naturally, the bodily assets decrease in value on daily basis thanks to age while material assets tend to increase in value with age, when value is depleted, infidelity and divorce comes knocking.

    Marry for love, not assets, dont consider it a loss or missed opportunity not doing the latter. If you marry someone you love and they happen to wealthy (It happens) then awesome.
    • Katapolt
    • By Katapolt 4th Jan 18, 3:22 PM
    • 216 Posts
    • 276 Thanks
    Katapolt
    Definitely feeling this too...although ive probably got another 50+ years left...

    i work 2 jobs, so just sat and worked out how long i actually spend doing work related stuff (inc commute) and per week i spend 58.5hrs working or commuting, and 19 hours at home - not asleep.

    Thats pretty depressing. i know i need to make a change but having only recently moved into this new and apparently normal job, and now having a mortgage to contend with, im not sure how id do it without ending up in financial or mental ruin.
    • Katapolt
    • By Katapolt 4th Jan 18, 3:26 PM
    • 216 Posts
    • 276 Thanks
    Katapolt
    Control when you work? Doubt it.

    No idea what you have in mind, but say you were a personal trainer, you'll turn up when your client wants you to. If you're a graphic designer, you'll work to a deadline and if it isn't 'right', you'll do it again. Of course there are jobs where you can work to hour own schedule more than other jobs, but you will still have a boss aka a client, and you will work to their timetable.
    Originally posted by bugslet
    Not necessarily. I have a second job as a Personal Trainer and my classes and clients are booked in when i want, not when is good for them. ive never had anyone leave because i said i wasnt going to get up at 5:30 on a sunday morning

    you may feel it will limit your success and financial potential, but i think it has less of an impact than youd imagine. Working a few hours youd rather not now and then is much nicer than working hours you have to in a job you really hate, because you're "expected" to.
    • googler
    • By googler 4th Jan 18, 5:19 PM
    • 14,784 Posts
    • 9,706 Thanks
    googler
    Close to home, pays OK but during the week I have no time for anything.
    Originally posted by Fireflyaway
    Please elaborate on this. On the assumption you're doing a 9 to 5, if you're close to home, you get home ... 6? 6.30?
    • getmore4less
    • By getmore4less 4th Jan 18, 7:37 PM
    • 32,180 Posts
    • 19,336 Thanks
    getmore4less
    What hours does he work?

    You need to look at the overlaps of work and free time
    Originally posted by getmore4less
    he is gone from 6am to 8pm
    Originally posted by Fireflyaway
    14hrs

    You should be able to squeeze a full time job in as well as keeping house.
    • bugslet
    • By bugslet 4th Jan 18, 7:48 PM
    • 6,151 Posts
    • 29,599 Thanks
    bugslet
    Not necessarily. I have a second job as a Personal Trainer and my classes and clients are booked in when i want, not when is good for them. ive never had anyone leave because i said i wasnt going to get up at 5:30 on a sunday morning

    you may feel it will limit your success and financial potential, but i think it has less of an impact than youd imagine. Working a few hours youd rather not now and then is much nicer than working hours you have to in a job you really hate, because you're "expected" to.
    Originally posted by Katapolt
    I think it was the original post that inferred working for yourself meant working to your own schedule. You might not have to get up at 5. 30, but likewise you can't decide that you don't fancy turning up for a class when there's a dozen people expecting you. We self-employed people still have bosses

    In my world, a customer says they want a pallet in Aberdeen at 08.00, then you get your bottom out of bed at 03.00, because if you don't, you don't get a second chance.
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