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  • FIRST POST
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 31st Dec 17, 7:35 PM
    • 9,950Posts
    • 49,217Thanks
    Mooloo
    Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018
    • #1
    • 31st Dec 17, 7:35 PM
    Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018 31st Dec 17 at 7:35 PM
    My previous threads here have been about my struggles etc bringing up my family and now my Granddaughter, building a business on little funds and a lot of faith.
    Titles suggested often are linked to my sewing, but this year I want to be different. No more Struggle!

    This year is all about Managing it!
    Getting on top of the hiccups and the pitfalls.
    Managing to say NO more often.
    Managing to cut my Debts.
    Managing to raise my Income levels.
    Managing to make my Business even better.
    Managing to block time for the things I want to do.
    Managing to create a better home life.
    Managing to raise above the fire fighting and being ready to tackle issues before the fire.

    So here is the start.
    I am due to go out celebrating the New Year this evening with my BF, and Welcome Home my DGD tomorrow.
    I will expand on my goals and plans over the next few days, and follow through the next 12 months.
    See you along the way.
    Without my fellow MSE!!!8217;ers I probably would have had a much tougher ride than I had.

    This Forum tip was included in MoneySavingExpert.com's weekly email!
    Last edited by MSE Andrea; 08-05-2018 at 10:27 AM.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
Page 37
    • fozziebeartoo
    • By fozziebeartoo 14th May 18, 2:09 PM
    • 1,556 Posts
    • 12,617 Thanks
    fozziebeartoo
    Don't let the designer get away with anything Mooloo - in fact if he is expecting you to make 60 tee shirts, I would be asking for a deposit from him - whilst you are working on his stuff, you won't be able to work on anything else!
    Originally posted by thorsoak
    Totally agree!!

    60???

    Who does he think you are? A Primarni sweat shop???

    • Slinky
    • By Slinky 14th May 18, 4:47 PM
    • 5,447 Posts
    • 25,616 Thanks
    Slinky
    The designer has been in 3 Times this morning. I charged him £150 for my work. I don't think he really wanted to pay immediately but I wasn't going to be fobbed off.
    SNIP
    The designer brought more fabric but he is expecting silly things to be done and ready in only 4 weeks time. He wants 60 t shirts made and yet he hasn't supplied any neck ribbing at all, and the fabric he has given me is not going to be making 60 t shirts by a mile.
    Originally posted by Mooloo

    Meanwhile back in the real world............


    He's showing signs of potentially being a D list customer, wanting the earth, draining your time and your energy and not being keen on paying. Don't let him damage your real business by taking up too much of your time and energy. If his business were to take off and suddenly be in demand, you'll find yourself kicked into the long grass whilst his business, quite natuarally, has to be taken elsewhere because you couldn't cope with the volume of it.
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 14th May 18, 4:56 PM
    • 1,756 Posts
    • 7,137 Thanks
    BrassicWoman
    so how long does a tee shirt take at £20 an hour plus overheads?
    Jan 18 grocery challenge £105.13/ £150
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 14th May 18, 7:44 PM
    • 9,950 Posts
    • 49,217 Thanks
    Mooloo
    so how long does a tee shirt take at £20 an hour plus overheads?
    Originally posted by BrassicWoman
    To be honest I cannot do them cheaply enough. I am struggling to explain that he needs a factory outlet not a dressmaker
    I am happy to make a one off etc. So he can get his ideas across but personally I would never make money compared to the Shop.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • grandma247
    • By grandma247 14th May 18, 7:46 PM
    • 2,386 Posts
    • 33,178 Thanks
    grandma247
    Has this designer ever worked in the fashion industry? He seems to think you are a machine or else a much larger operation than you are. Do not let him bully you into anything. Please remember you need to enjoy your work or it will become a drudge and you will hate it. I would at the very
    least double the timeframe.
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 14th May 18, 7:48 PM
    • 1,756 Posts
    • 7,137 Thanks
    BrassicWoman
    To be honest I cannot do them cheaply enough. I am struggling to explain that he needs a factory outlet not a dressmaker
    I am happy to make a one off etc. So he can get his ideas across but personally I would never make money compared to the Shop.
    Originally posted by Mooloo
    So I think that is one sample @ minimum £50 followed by a "no"?
    Jan 18 grocery challenge £105.13/ £150
    • ognum
    • By ognum 14th May 18, 8:09 PM
    • 4,588 Posts
    • 7,211 Thanks
    ognum
    To be honest I cannot do them cheaply enough. I am struggling to explain that he needs a factory outlet not a dressmaker
    I am happy to make a one off etc. So he can get his ideas across but personally I would never make money compared to the Shop.
    Originally posted by Mooloo
    I think his problem,and it!!!8217;s not yours is that 50 items isn!!!8217;t enough for a factory order.

    He is not big enough for a factory but don!!!8217;t make that your problem.
    Last edited by ognum; 14-05-2018 at 8:55 PM.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 14th May 18, 8:44 PM
    • 9,950 Posts
    • 49,217 Thanks
    Mooloo
    He is apparently coming in again tomorrow!
    His chatter is costing me time.
    So I think I will "call him into the office @
    Tell him that I am loosing money chatting when I already have work. That I don't need his work as I already have too much to handle and that although I see his passion and I enjoy one off design I do not want or need to work for less to fit his budget.
    I am happy to create something to help him sell his ideas, but I am not prepared to give him my designs, and I am too expensive!
    Cos I am
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 14th May 18, 8:53 PM
    • 5,714 Posts
    • 26,287 Thanks
    thorsoak
    Make sure that you "copyright" your designs! Let him buy you lunch - or a sandwich or coffee at least - but your time is money! xxxx

    Well done - you are learning :-D
    • ivyleaf
    • By ivyleaf 14th May 18, 9:09 PM
    • 5,833 Posts
    • 63,381 Thanks
    ivyleaf
    Well done Mooloo! 60 t-shirts indeed
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 14th May 18, 10:09 PM
    • 56,837 Posts
    • 231,463 Thanks
    beanielou
    Well done on standing up to designer.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • trix-a-belle
    • By trix-a-belle 14th May 18, 11:05 PM
    • 851 Posts
    • 3,608 Thanks
    trix-a-belle
    He is apparently coming in again tomorrow!
    His chatter is costing me time.
    So I think I will "call him into the office @
    Tell him that I am loosing money chatting when I already have work. That I don't need his work as I already have too much to handle and that although I see his passion and I enjoy one off design I do not want or need to work for less to fit his budget.
    I am happy to create something to help him sell his ideas, but I am not prepared to give him my designs, and I am too expensive!
    Cos I am
    Originally posted by Mooloo
    definitely tell him!
    As was suggested on another forum I read when someone asked for suggestions on a time vampire client who constantly checks up on their jobs or wants to come in & chat
    "Do what lawyers do, tell her you'll let them know when jobs are done, and if they want to check up on you you'll bill your hourly rate, and bill minimum 15 min per call/chat. I told a customer I would do that every time they emailed me and all of a sudden they didn't email me every other hour."
    Last edited by trix-a-belle; 14-05-2018 at 11:08 PM.
    - Mortgage: 1st one down, 2nd: £114800 £101k
    - Student Loan: £ 7100 0!
    Swagbucks, Neobux, GiffGaff, Roamler, Qmee & Quidco; thank you MSE every little bit helps
    MFiT-T4
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 15th May 18, 6:47 AM
    • 9,950 Posts
    • 49,217 Thanks
    Mooloo
    Late last night Biggest messaged me telling me that her Husband is not coping with the situation over DS it sounds like he went to DS and the place was in a worse state, although he was out, so he was looking in through the window etc. Apparently he's under the impression DS was with one of the family from hell getting stoned. Mind you when I spoke to DS he didn't sound off his tree, and I hope he wasn't as he was driving. (On hands free).
    I have told them that they need to call someone at Social and find out what they are doing and the time scale on returning the boys to them (or not), and if it is too much for them then they will have to let them go. She says it would break her heart because the baby is a beautiful little boy, but I have told her that she needs to be realistic and that she can't ruin her marriage for her brother. (Especially if he is not changing his ways).
    Of course I have been trying to figure out if I could do it, bu(if I gave up the Shop), but in reality I am not sure if I could as we have said on here I am rather too old and not sure if I could.

    Told you my head is a cement mixer
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Slinky
    • By Slinky 15th May 18, 8:04 AM
    • 5,447 Posts
    • 25,616 Thanks
    Slinky
    Oh good lord, how long until the GF is pregnant again? It'll happen if he doesn't have the snip, and what are you going to do then?


    I feel for you Mooloo but those poor kids need to go to somebody who will cherish them before they have done irreperable damage. Whether that's your daughter if she can manage or to somebody else, but it's quite clear that they have absolutely no chance in life being brought up by your son and his GF, and their life will most likely repeat that of their parents.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 15th May 18, 8:18 AM
    • 9,950 Posts
    • 49,217 Thanks
    Mooloo
    God this is all so hard to deal with.
    How do I possibly know what I am capable of doing, or not
    I am lost in my cement mixer head at the moment.
    I think we need to talk to Social and find out what exactly is their plan.
    I don't think that the boys would be going back to my Son realistically.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 15th May 18, 8:43 AM
    • 56,837 Posts
    • 231,463 Thanks
    beanielou
    I have no words of wisdom.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • ivyleaf
    • By ivyleaf 15th May 18, 9:26 AM
    • 5,833 Posts
    • 63,381 Thanks
    ivyleaf
    I can't do anything apart from sending virtual (((HUGS))), Mooloo, but I am so sorry. You must be heartbroken

    Talking to Social sounds a good idea.
    • ognum
    • By ognum 15th May 18, 9:44 AM
    • 4,588 Posts
    • 7,211 Thanks
    ognum
    I also have no words of wisdom, I will write down my thought and as usual they are just that.

    It is unlikely that DS and his partner will ever be perfect parents for the children to return to, the question is how bad are they?

    At the moment the children particularly the baby is young so if the SS can find a long term foster placement or adoption (despite that being hard on your heart Mooloo) this might be the way forward.

    It is possible that actually biggest having the children is damaging another family, her family, she is pregnant and this is not how they planned life. She is being tremendous to accept the children, but how is it on her children.

    In my experience with friends who have adopted SS take the course of least resistance and least expense to them so unless Biggest says we can!!!8217;t cope they will do nothing and have no back up plan. Certainly the longer a child is exposed to poor unstable parenting the more damage is done.

    While the children are with Biggest you son and his partner do not have to fight for them or make any changes, they can plod along in their own way smoking a bit of dope and living in a pig sty, they know where the children are and can feel happy that if or when they get their act together they will get them back.

    If the social services are forced to act then there is a make or break for your son and in some ways that is a make or break for your relationship and the way you feel about him. You (and I would be the same) don!!!8217;t want to walk that road.

    My opinion and only mine as I said ignore me it!!!8217;s not my life is that I would push for these young children to get some stability. I applaud Biggest but it!!!8217;s not with her. If you can take three small children for life not just for a few weeks then maybe it!!!8217;s with you but you already understand the difficulties which will get older as your DGD gets older and so do you.

    Mooloo I have said to you before that I believe a mother can only be as happy as thier saddest child (of course it depends on your relationship) but I believe this apply to grandchildren too.

    So for me I would push to get these children into a stable caring home where they can stay and try to live a happy life. Social services and your family need to decide where but don!!!8217;t push them from one place to another it just not fair for their future life.
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 15th May 18, 5:03 PM
    • 2,367 Posts
    • 22,491 Thanks
    pollyanna 26
    Mooloo I am so sorry for the worry you are now feeling . I've finally caught up on all the events and agree with much of Ognum's post above .


    Biggest has a kind heart like her Mum but I feel this time she's trying to take on too much . She's already waiting for her child to be born and although her husband has welcomed the two little ones it isn't the life they had planned before the problems with your son's children came to a head . In time this could destroy their marriage .


    In your case your priorities are your dgd , your mum , yourself and the work that keeps the rent paid and you and dgd fed . You already spend time going into school to intervene re bullying and the various things that stop dgd going to school without an argument .


    You cannot take on any more than you already have to cope with ,



    My middle daughter works in childcare and the major part of her work is identifying those pre school children with various issues from poor hearing , speech development , possible asd and other health or development issues .


    Sadly much of her time is spent as a safeguarding officer picking up on neglect , malnutrition , physical or mental abuse and others .


    In these situations after initial engagement by family and agencies has failed she will escalate things and often the result is foster placements for young children while various ways of trying to get the parent(s) to take help and support are worked through .


    Depending on the outcome some will be returned home in time and others placed for adoption . The younger the child the better action is taken soon while they are less likely to experience too much of the chaos of their home life .

    .


    The aim is to break the cycle . If parents engage fine if not every child deserves to be loved and cared for .


    It is heartbreaking Mooloo but you need to think very hard about how long Biggest and yourself could deal with this day in and day out . I'm not too hopeful but foster care could shock your son into action but I wouldn't put money on it .
    Strength and wisdom plus a hug to you .
    polly
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 15th May 18, 6:36 PM
    • 9,950 Posts
    • 49,217 Thanks
    Mooloo
    I have gone through one emotion after another. I have said that I would have to try, but then as you all say. I actually have to use my head not my heart and I am not getting any younger etc
    Social are coming to see Biggest on Thursday and she wants me to go.
    I will arrange for the Shop to be covered with my Seamstress and support her.
    Reality is that we have to think of all of the other children in the family and those boys.
    Realistically I cannot do it.
    Realistically Biggest cannot do it.
    My sisters Daughter is considering putting herself forward but her kids are older.
    I have to think of the bigger picture and although I don't want to loose them they will be better with foster parents and if necessary adoption like my other boys.
    It is hard to say or think but I have Dgd and a business to run.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
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