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  • FIRST POST
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 30th Dec 17, 5:01 PM
    • 6,036Posts
    • 31,891Thanks
    AlexLK
    Renovations and Repayments II: New Year, New Start, New Diary.
    • #1
    • 30th Dec 17, 5:01 PM
    Renovations and Repayments II: New Year, New Start, New Diary. 30th Dec 17 at 5:01 PM
    2018 is almost upon us and is set to be the year I get my finances in order.

    So, what's changed since the start, middle, end of my last diary?
    - Regular income is up
    - Gained some knowledge of how to use a spreadsheet to budget
    - In a much better position to make steps towards positive change
    - My wife and I are working as a team
    - Unless anything drastically changes our son is staying at the local school

    What do I want to achieve?
    - Regular and realistic amounts to savings each month
    - Make the mortgage payment up to 1,000 each month
    - Get a better rate on our mortgage
    - Get rid of a lot of things we don't need ... OK that's business as usual
    - Finish the house and consider our options (staying in current house or using the equity to move somewhere new - not to my childhood home and if I mention this, please feel free to point me to this starting post)
    - Monthly targets for both financial and personal goals
    2018 totals:
    Savings 7,600
    Mortgage Overpayments 1,750
Page 10
    • Karmacat
    • By Karmacat 13th Feb 18, 11:06 AM
    • 28,978 Posts
    • 164,921 Thanks
    Karmacat
    Alex, 300k is just what prices are in the SE of England. I used to live and work in Brighton, and I owned two houses there, in the roads right next to the ones in these links:
    http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-52892793.html
    http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-52771401.html

    The semi is built into the hillside, they all are in that area, it gives rise to lovely quirky properties - my house there had a three storey hallway, simply to take account of the slope. But that gave away a *lot* of space that should have gone to the rooms.

    /end rant
    Retired August 2016
    • newgirly
    • By newgirly 13th Feb 18, 12:13 PM
    • 6,222 Posts
    • 42,960 Thanks
    newgirly
    It's as always down to location, ours is not an ex council house but I would much rather that than a pretty house in a location I didn't like as much. Undofrtunatly in London you sometimes don't get either

    Can't speak for the rest of the country but house prices are up 22% in our borough for the last two years (looked this up to frighten Dd and boyfriend into saving more!) there are a never ending stream of rich people, I would love be to know what they all do for a living, mostly its stockbrokers and bankers it seems.
    MFW 21
    Target for 2018 40k/9,626 paid so far

    Mortgage 39,159.44 -4yrs 2 mths left. Total owed 52,364 plan to clear in 14 months
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 13th Feb 18, 1:03 PM
    • 2,571 Posts
    • 6,884 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel

    Red squirrel, if it's something you really want to do it is worth spending the money, in my opinion.
    Originally posted by AlexLK
    Oh Alex, bless you! We don't all have pens lying around worth thousands of pounds!
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 13th Feb 18, 7:15 PM
    • 52,748 Posts
    • 207,262 Thanks
    beanielou
    Alex~~I think sometimes people buy these new buids as that's what they can afford.
    Also people want to be to able to say they have xx bedooms & xx ensuites blah blah.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • Suffolk lass
    • By Suffolk lass 14th Feb 18, 9:14 AM
    • 1,911 Posts
    • 20,210 Thanks
    Suffolk lass

    ETA: what!!!8217;s going on when I post on my iPad with apostrophes?
    Originally posted by AlexLK
    Apparently it is a smart punctuation setting you need to turn off in settings (keyboard) and is an IOS11 issue - it hasn't affected me yet so I can't give you clear instructions. There is a thread on the site feedback area that makes some suggestions. Rumour has it the same tweaking that resulted in thousands of change password prompts also triggered this
    MFiT T4 #2 update 51.75% after Q8 5,203 behind where I should be
    Save 12k in 2018 #53 - after Feb 13.3%/10,000
    OS Grocery Challenge 2018 spent 452.64/3,000 including stores so far
    My DFD is here
    • edinburgher
    • By edinburgher 14th Feb 18, 9:29 AM
    • 11,070 Posts
    • 59,368 Thanks
    edinburgher
    Alex, agree that new builds are on the cramped side at the more affordable end of the market, but that's just the country we live in (rabbit hutch Britain)!

    Despite their lack of charm and space on occasion, I'd argue that a well built new build property is superior to most of what has gone before. They are easier to maintain. I'm sure you hate PVC, but windows, gutters and fascias etc. last decades without any maintenance being required, insulation is a good thing and they probably promote better health as they are warm, secure and draft free...

    You also have to remember that there are polar extremes in the new build market, from rabbit hutches to McMansions. I have seen some very nice new builds for people with deeper pockets. For example, I looked at an advert for massive new builds in a Scottish coastal location (a wee bit out of the way). 5 bedrooms, 3-4 bathrooms, massive 2 car garage, library and large open plan living areas. Not bad for 400k.
    • PositiveBalance
    • By PositiveBalance 20th Feb 18, 12:17 AM
    • 699 Posts
    • 3,522 Thanks
    PositiveBalance
    I would rather live in a an old house, Alex, but I know people who would refuse to buy old. I imagine they worry about maintenance and assume that there would be less on a new build.

    I dislike them, personally, but I guess if it was the difference between being able to buy and not, I'd suck it up.

    *Watches tumbleweed blow by*

    Hey! Where is everyone?
    Original debt to source: 11,640.02; debt repaid: 6201.01 (53%); remaining debt: 5439.01.k
    0% CC balance: 4999.67 now 3997.54.
    Emergency Fund (#187): 0/1000
    Terrimundi: 30.00ish
    • daisy 1571
    • By daisy 1571 20th Feb 18, 10:56 AM
    • 269 Posts
    • 3,308 Thanks
    daisy 1571
    I'm still popping in <echo, o, o, o>>>>

    Daisy !!!55357;!!!56842;
    "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion" Take hold of every moment by anon

    The difference between what you were yesterday and what you will be tomorrow is what you do today
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 20th Feb 18, 12:22 PM
    • 52,748 Posts
    • 207,262 Thanks
    beanielou
    Hope all is well.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 21st Feb 18, 11:56 PM
    • 6,036 Posts
    • 31,891 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Hi everyone

    Will try to respond properly tomorrow as it is late and I need to sleep.

    Not been on MSE for a few days. Things have been busy both at work and home. Unfortunately, my son is having some trouble at school with a couple of other children. This has been something which has been somewhat ongoing but has become more problematic extending into half term as they live in the village and my son went to another child's house to play. My son isn't entirely innocent after telling the rest of the school something my mother had said about this particular family which I hadn't realised my son had heard. I've tried to speak to one of the parents. However, they've long decided they dislike me after I made a flippant comment which was meant to be a joke but they didn't take as such and could make someone perceive I hold negative views about this particular family. This has been on my mind every evening, so not been the best company over the last few days.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 7,600
    Mortgage Overpayments 1,750
    • newgirly
    • By newgirly 22nd Feb 18, 7:56 AM
    • 6,222 Posts
    • 42,960 Thanks
    newgirly
    Oh dear, sounds like it was all avoidable Alex

    I hope you manage to sort things out with the other parents and children, it would be a shame if things went downhill when he has been doing so well at school.

    Also a very good reason to limit time spent with your parents and lay down the law! Small ears should not be hearing that kind of unpleasantness. I've done it myself in the past Alex, my fil made a few racist comments in front of our Dd when she was a toddler so I asked them to leave our house, it didn't go down well, but it didn't happen again.

    How is littlek? I hope he is still ok going to school, take care
    MFW 21
    Target for 2018 40k/9,626 paid so far

    Mortgage 39,159.44 -4yrs 2 mths left. Total owed 52,364 plan to clear in 14 months
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 22nd Feb 18, 11:03 AM
    • 52,748 Posts
    • 207,262 Thanks
    beanielou
    Sorry to hear this.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • LadyGnome
    • By LadyGnome 22nd Feb 18, 11:34 AM
    • 453 Posts
    • 1,675 Thanks
    LadyGnome
    Alex don't get too wound up about school friendships. Children your son's age chop and change friendships a lot. If it turns into overt bullying then speak to the school.

    I know both of my sons have had issues where there has been low level bullying (at primary age). In one case I raised it with the school and in the other I told my son to go and play with a different group. They then sorted it out between them and are friends again. (The younger will probably fall out with the boy in question again and make up as they have done so once or twice a year since reception and they are now in Yr 6!).

    Your son is old enough to understand that words can be hurtful so repeating what Granny has said isn't a good idea if it might upset someone. I agree that your son probably needs to spend less time with your parents if they are going express negative opinions on others.

    You can't make people like you but if you are always seen to be courteous to that family and your son doesn't share anymore of Granny's thoughts then at some point they start to look a bit silly if they keep reacting negatively.
    Mortgage
    Start Nov 2012 310,000
    Feb 2018 237,821.60 Reduction 72,178.40
    MFW 2018 #42 788.90/3100
    End Oct Sept 2034 but I have a cunning plan...
    • Suffolk lass
    • By Suffolk lass 22nd Feb 18, 6:13 PM
    • 1,911 Posts
    • 20,210 Thanks
    Suffolk lass
    LadyGnome is right Alex, just try to let it go. You can only change you, not what others think. The world is full of people who form an instant impression and dogmatically stick to it, no matter what. I remember as a manager hearing in a moderating meeting about something a member of my team had done that showed poor judgement combined with a degree of immaturity. I was happy to take it on board but asked why they had not fed it back to me at the time. "Oh it was when x was here" - x was my predecessor who had retired three years previously. Good grief. If we never allow people to grow and develop we live in a very sad place but it is their loss but if we let it impact on us it will make us sad too.
    MFiT T4 #2 update 51.75% after Q8 5,203 behind where I should be
    Save 12k in 2018 #53 - after Feb 13.3%/10,000
    OS Grocery Challenge 2018 spent 452.64/3,000 including stores so far
    My DFD is here
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 22nd Feb 18, 7:04 PM
    • 2,571 Posts
    • 6,884 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    Oh dear, sounds stressful! Did you apologise for your flippant comment at the time?
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 22nd Feb 18, 11:57 PM
    • 6,036 Posts
    • 31,891 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Thanks all.

    Very interesting to read other points of view on new builds. They are not all the same but many seem to have similar characteristics. I've been told I'm giving too much but already have people keen to part with money and there's a good profit so calling that win-win. I suppose I'm likely not to warm towards newer buildings and some conversion projects which take the character out of the original property. Some are done well and the end result can be fantastic, so some hope there.

    Unfortunately, the situation with my son is very stressful. He's not been friends with the child in question at any point and the other child is older, popular with other pupils and has a younger sibling also at the school. When disagreements happen I do consider whether a school with c.20 pupils between the ages of 4 and 11 is necessarily good.

    If I'm being honest, I think my son decided to say something he knew would hurt the other family and had he not repeated something my mother said it would have been some other remark. I don't want my son to be perceived in the way I often am by others nor have an ability to wind people up easily without realising it before it's too late.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 7,600
    Mortgage Overpayments 1,750
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 23rd Feb 18, 1:40 PM
    • 52,748 Posts
    • 207,262 Thanks
    beanielou
    It is a difficult situation.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 24th Feb 18, 10:53 PM
    • 6,036 Posts
    • 31,891 Thanks
    AlexLK
    February goals...

    Financial
    Save 1,500/1,500
    Sell 3,068.77/4,000 Not managed to get around to selling more so far this month
    Food budget 380/450

    Life
    Meat free days 8/10
    Alcohol free days 24/28
    Books 1/3
    Sort my sleep habits out (again) Getting there.

    Work
    Keep the computer organised
    Keep learning
    Journal
    Somehow managing all these.

    Had a bit of a crisis of confidence this morning over my ability to parent; I suppose I feel I have perhaps influenced my son's behaviour to others in a negative way. I know I have inherited some of my negative traits from my parents and don't wish to pass them to my son. His retaliation has surprised me and reminded me how I have treated others in the past. Don't want to see him lose friends.To add to a rubbish morning, I've had yet another disagreement with my parents over corporal punishment.

    Luckily, the day did get better and we've managed to have a nice lunch, afternoon and early evening out together as a family.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 7,600
    Mortgage Overpayments 1,750
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 25th Feb 18, 11:29 AM
    • 52,748 Posts
    • 207,262 Thanks
    beanielou
    Being a parent is hard.
    My DS is 25 & I am still learning
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • PositiveBalance
    • By PositiveBalance 25th Feb 18, 1:08 PM
    • 699 Posts
    • 3,522 Thanks
    PositiveBalance
    If I'm being honest, I think my son decided to say something he knew would hurt the other family and had he not repeated something my mother said it would have been some other remark. I don't want my son to be perceived in the way I often am by others nor have an ability to wind people up easily without realising it before it's too late.
    Originally posted by AlexLK
    I think there are two different issues going on here, Alex:

    1) Master LK deliberately said something hurtful.
    2) Your reaction to this.

    1) I imagine that this would be an opportunity for you to show young Master LK the error of his ways and that actions have consequences; if he does around being deliberately mean to people it will not make him popular. Perhaps this is an opportunity to show him the art of apologising? Followed by an explanation about how people shouldn't be mean to other people for no good reason. (Find out what triggered this - perhaps he is a little jealous that this other child is more popular than he is or something else?)

    2) This sounds to me like you are projecting your own issues onto Master LK in this particular instance: you said you think he decided (i.e. made a conscious decision) to make the comment. You have identified that you have an accidental tendency to unintentionally say things sometimes that 'wind up' people. From what I've seen, when you accidentally do this, you are mortified, take the time to reflect on it, apologise and try to do better next time. Does this sound like the same type of behaviour as someone who decided to make a hurtful comment?

    Good work on the February goals, BTW!

    [QUOTE=AlexLK;73933166]Had a bit of a crisis of confidence this morning over my ability to parent; I suppose I feel I have perhaps influenced my son's behaviour to others in a negative way. I know I have inherited some of my negative traits from my parents and don't wish to pass them to my son. His retaliation has surprised me and reminded me how I have treated others in the past. Don't want to see him lose friends.To add to a rubbish morning, I've had yet another disagreement with my parents over corporal punishment.

    The fact that you are so aware of your bad points (and perhaps you should give yourself a bit more credit for your good points, too!) and how these may/may not be passed down to Master LK speaks volumes about your parenting, Alex. I don't think you are a bad dad - I sneakily suspect you are a very good one. However, try to take a step back sometimes. Some of the things your son does will be the same things that every other child does and they will not be a result of you or our parents actions. Having said that, if you notice things in yourself or those around you that you don't want to pass down to Master LK, make a point of eliminating them as much as you can.
    Remember: nobody is perfect and we will all (unintentionally) pass something down to the next generation. The fact that you are trying so hard not to already puts you leagues above lots of parents who just don't care one way or the other.

    P.S. With your parents, there is no 'disagreement'. They might not like your way but tough: they stick to your rules or there are consequences, a bit like with Master LK. (The older I get and the older my remaining parental gets, the more I realise that older people are often like children with more attitude! )

    Being a parent is hard.
    My DS is 25 & I am still learning
    Originally posted by beanielou
    I don't have any. I'm getting as many lessons in as a I can before I start!
    Original debt to source: 11,640.02; debt repaid: 6201.01 (53%); remaining debt: 5439.01.k
    0% CC balance: 4999.67 now 3997.54.
    Emergency Fund (#187): 0/1000
    Terrimundi: 30.00ish
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