Helping Mums Wishes

badmemory wrote: »

You cannot promise she will never go into a care home. You can promise that you will do your absolute best to make sure it will never happen. You cannot guarantee that you will be able to provide all the care she may need.

Agreed, with the home adaptions and your sister,s care you have done as much as possible to prevent her needing to go into residential care, but if it all gets too much for your sister because either your mother’s health deteriates, or she becomes ill herself then their may be no choice, and I know this from personal experience.

Daughter1 wrote: »

Hello
Our mum is deaf so we had to ask on her behalf. She already has stair lift and wet room. We ensured this was done sooner rather than later. We were told she could give £3k to each of us yearly is this not the case? So how did a friend manage to withdraw £250 per day? Like I mentioned earlier she will 100% never go into a home as it’s a promise we made her. How else can she spend her money without being questioned?

Either the person who told you about the £3000 was talking rubbish or you misunderstood what was being said, under these circumstances she cannot do that. Your father’s probate recocords are public records, so the LA will at some point become aware of her inheritance and if you attempt to move it out of accounts the LA will treat her as still having it and charge her accordingly, so you really should be upfront with them now.

She can spend money on her own needs but gifting should be restricted to normal birthday and Christmas presents..

Do you and your sister have power of attorney for your mother?

As has been said several times, whilst your mum might want to give you this money to save it being spent on care fees, it is difficult to hide financial activities should she apply (or you, on her behalf) for Local Authority funded care.

A financial assessment will look back through bank account activities - yes, the LA can do this - and it will be very obvious if the money she has inherited has disappeared, whether in lump sums or daily withdrawals. The LA will then refuse to fund that missing amount until her assets reduce by that amount - so who will pay for that if Mum no longer has it, but you 3 children do?

And yes, it does seem unfair that your parents have paid into the system for years and yet have to keep on paying. But it is what it is, and there’s only going to be less money in “the system” as time goes on. Indeed, that Dad got full CHC funding was a bonus, and that your mum has her house for life plus a bit extra to not worry too much about her food and heating bills is definitely another bonus.

Don’t get too fixated on clearing out that bank account to avoid fees - focus on how lucky she is to have all that without having to rely on hand outs and the goodwill of family. It may be she never requires care, and she can live on comfortably in her home without financial worries into her old age.

Sea_Shell wrote: »

Interesting article here.

https://www.aprilking.co.uk/2017/01/30/deprivation-of-assets-guide/

interesting and missleading(they say may so not wrong) when they say

The 7 year inheritance tax rule

If you gift something to another person and die within 7 years of making the gift, inheritance tax may be payable. This is tapered – so if you survive for less than 3 years the full 40% may be payable; 3-4 years = 32% , 4 to 5 years = 24%, 5 to 6 years = 16% and 6 – 7 years = 8%.

badmemory wrote: »

You cannot promise she will never go into a care home. You can promise that you will do your absolute best to make sure it will never happen. You cannot guarantee that you will be able to provide all the care she may need.

I so agree with this! I always said to my parents that they would never go into a care home. However, circumstances can change. My Dad was my Mum;s carer at age 94, she was aged 89. I helped out where I could with shopping cooking cleaning etc. Unfortunately she had a stroke which took her balance completely and took what remained of her limited eyesight. There was no alternative as my health had also deteriorated.

Never say never!