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  • FIRST POST
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    • 649Posts
    • 7,230Thanks
    117pauline
    Mindful or Mind full?
    • #1
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    Mindful or Mind full? 4th Dec 17 at 4:00 PM
    So....... life appears to have changed today!

    I came downstairs to a letter from my partner saying he needed time away. After 11 plus years. Not sure how I feel.

    At the moment I need to get a job. Not as easy as that sounds as I have quite a problem leaving the house at all. I am waiting to get to the top of the list for some CBT help. I also have some chronic conditions too which have hindered our relationship.

    As you can imagine, I am not sure what will happen. My plan is to do nothing rash but try to pay down my loan as much as possible. Then I am going to have to find somewhere to live etc.

    I did say I was going to start a diary so I think this is one hell of a way to get started!

    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
Page 19
    • Lilith1980
    • By Lilith1980 28th Feb 18, 10:50 PM
    • 1,791 Posts
    • 5,087 Thanks
    Lilith1980
    Hi Pauline, hope you're ok x
    My debt-free diary
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 28th Feb 18, 11:54 PM
    • 1,388 Posts
    • 5,365 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Hi Pauline.
    I don't think I have posted on your diary before- mostly because I don't have very much helpful to add. So I just kind of lurk. But I hope you know you are definately not a disappointment to anybody.
    I like reading what you write and I like your contributions on Cumbrias diary. I'm sure you post elsewhere too but it's hard to read everyone's diary and keep on top.

    Anyway I just wanted to echo what other people said and for you to know that you don't have to post - and don't if it's Pressure you don't need. But if you do want to post then please know that we love following your writings.

    Sonetimes life is too much. When that happens to me I don't post. We only have so much energy and you need to do what works best for you but also know that you couldn't possibly be a disappointment to anybody here. Truly. xxx
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 1st Mar 18, 8:57 AM
    • 1,679 Posts
    • 10,082 Thanks
    redofromstart
    Thinking of you, have heard the snow is pretty bad your way? Its not that bad in the next county but the sky is full of it so we are expecting problems later.

    I've put some food and a chopped apple out for the birds but need to nip our and clear the snow off again in a bit.
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 1st Mar 18, 4:47 PM
    • 5,732 Posts
    • 37,504 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Hope you're ok Pauline. The snow's bad in our neck of the woods isn't it?

    Stay safe and warm xx
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £250.33
    Debt £2500
    May NSDs AFDs
    Weight loss 7/10LBS
    Emergency Fund £2000/£10,000
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 3rd Mar 18, 8:27 AM
    • 1,795 Posts
    • 10,818 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Hi Pauline , popped in to say hello.

    Thank you for your lovely message on my thread.
    CC1 £3475 May 2018
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 3rd Mar 18, 2:20 PM
    • 54,034 Posts
    • 214,120 Thanks
    beanielou
    Hope that you are ok in the snow.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 3rd Mar 18, 10:38 PM
    • 1,703 Posts
    • 9,178 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    Missing you, Pauline. Look after yourself xx
    MFW #30 Paid off £1,622.77/£3770 as of 4/5/18
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 4th Mar 18, 10:03 PM
    • 649 Posts
    • 7,230 Thanks
    117pauline
    Good evening

    I have been around the diaries a little but I have been hibernating. I haven't had anything MSE to write about really but my head has been full of "other stuff".

    Can't really blame the weather as we have only had a couple of really bad days here, it helps being on a bus route. However until last night I haven't been out since early Tuesday morning. I cancelled both doctor's and therapist's appointment as I just couldn't work out what to say. I felt I couldn't be honest so there was no point in going.

    However I have re-arranged both for this coming week. I have jotted down ideas for both appointments. It will be the first time meeting the therapist but he sounded very approachable when I spoke to him on the phone.

    Stupidly I have overdone the swimming and made myself quite poorly. I am quite competitive and was striving to improve the number of lengths each time which was really not a good idea. So it's back to walking until I can go back swimming and just doing 8 lengths.

    The Ex situation is still very confusing. I know I should make a stand but I am not in a good place to do so. Still here, just waiting.

    Went to a concert last night. I like the venue as it has great acoustics and it feels friendly if you know what I mean.

    Programme
    Holst Planets Suite
    Elgar Cello Concerto
    Walton Johannesburg Overture

    The Cantamus Girls Choir also sang as well as being in the Planets Suite. I will never hear Walzing Maltilda in quite the same way again.

    Thank you to all of you who have popped in to check on me. It really has made a difference to me getting through.

    I will keep on, keeping on
    Take care everyone, have a great week
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 5th Mar 18, 12:43 AM
    • 1,703 Posts
    • 9,178 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    Good to hear from you again Pauline! The concert sounds lovely.

    Quick reply as Internet and computer inexplicably dodgy (lost previous post) but hope you have a good week xx
    MFW #30 Paid off £1,622.77/£3770 as of 4/5/18
    • Lilith1980
    • By Lilith1980 5th Mar 18, 6:04 AM
    • 1,791 Posts
    • 5,087 Thanks
    Lilith1980
    Hey Pauline, glad you're okay. I think we're all guilty of not taking care of ourselves as we should sometimes. We often expect too much from ourselves...it's all a work in progress.

    Glad you got out to a concert. The Planets is one of my favourites and I love listening to choirs, especially when they're a capella
    My debt-free diary
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 5th Mar 18, 1:21 PM
    • 54,034 Posts
    • 214,120 Thanks
    beanielou
    Glad that you are as ok as you can be at the moment.
    Take care
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 5th Mar 18, 4:07 PM
    • 1,679 Posts
    • 10,082 Thanks
    redofromstart
    The concert sounds great, have you got any more booked?
    • fay66
    • By fay66 5th Mar 18, 6:25 PM
    • 737 Posts
    • 2,051 Thanks
    fay66
    Hi from me
    Inland revenue £4500=
    Loan £2610/1988
    Pay day loans -1400 1st pay 16 march £50
    Credit card 1 -5100/4850 int froze
    CC2 -978
    CC3 - 500/548 cc4 165/200
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 6th Mar 18, 8:40 PM
    • 5,732 Posts
    • 37,504 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Glad you're ok Pauline and enjoyed the concert.

    Sorry to hear the Ex is still dithering about. Hope the situation is settled soon.

    Take care xx
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £250.33
    Debt £2500
    May NSDs AFDs
    Weight loss 7/10LBS
    Emergency Fund £2000/£10,000
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 10th Mar 18, 10:32 AM
    • 1,921 Posts
    • 11,791 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    How are you Pauline? Do you have any plans for the weekend?
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 20/05/2018: £646.59
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 35!
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 10th Mar 18, 1:13 PM
    • 1,795 Posts
    • 10,818 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Having a break from cleaning ! How are you Pauline ?
    CC1 £3475 May 2018
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 11th Mar 18, 7:05 PM
    • 649 Posts
    • 7,230 Thanks
    117pauline
    I am taking one step forward, one step back at the moment.

    And I am bored with myself but still finding it hard to keep on an even keel.

    Overall more positives than negatives
    Went to doctors
    Went to therapist
    Went shopping several times
    Out several times for walks
    Hairdressers

    Negatives
    Went to a friend's 60th birthday party - made it, forty miles away but could only stay for about 20minutes
    Did not get to see my mother today
    Needing solitude after any of the excursions above
    The negative voice in my head is extremely loud and persistent

    I am going to have a great week coming up - I am determined!!

    The therapist seemed very supportive but is unsure whether he is the best person to help me. I did open up to him and I felt very comfortable with him so I hope he keeps me!

    I am planning to go to a few more concerts. I have booked to see the Kanneh Mason Piano Trio in May. And I am planning to go to the Spring Spectacular in a couple of weeks time.

    It's lovely that Spring is on its way. The birds are singing and happy although the squirrels haven't returned as yet. Lots of new buds around too which always gives me hope.

    So I will be taking those small steps. And the first is to keep posting.

    Have a great week everyone
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 11th Mar 18, 7:31 PM
    • 54,034 Posts
    • 214,120 Thanks
    beanielou
    Baby steps are fine.
    Although you only managed to stay for 20 minutes at the party the good news is that you went.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • boxofpaws
    • By boxofpaws 11th Mar 18, 7:53 PM
    • 493 Posts
    • 2,128 Thanks
    boxofpaws
    Subscribing, following, and being in your corner

    Paws x
    Debt 03/01/17 = £42000
    Debt today = £27,819.22
    • fay66
    • By fay66 11th Mar 18, 7:58 PM
    • 737 Posts
    • 2,051 Thanks
    fay66
    Keep going every corner turned, x
    Inland revenue £4500=
    Loan £2610/1988
    Pay day loans -1400 1st pay 16 march £50
    Credit card 1 -5100/4850 int froze
    CC2 -978
    CC3 - 500/548 cc4 165/200
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