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  • FIRST POST
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    • 649Posts
    • 7,230Thanks
    117pauline
    Mindful or Mind full?
    • #1
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    Mindful or Mind full? 4th Dec 17 at 4:00 PM
    So....... life appears to have changed today!

    I came downstairs to a letter from my partner saying he needed time away. After 11 plus years. Not sure how I feel.

    At the moment I need to get a job. Not as easy as that sounds as I have quite a problem leaving the house at all. I am waiting to get to the top of the list for some CBT help. I also have some chronic conditions too which have hindered our relationship.

    As you can imagine, I am not sure what will happen. My plan is to do nothing rash but try to pay down my loan as much as possible. Then I am going to have to find somewhere to live etc.

    I did say I was going to start a diary so I think this is one hell of a way to get started!

    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
Page 18
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 11th Feb 18, 9:03 AM
    • 1,791 Posts
    • 10,802 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Just read you met OH yesterday , did it get you any further to sorting things out apart from his meds and docs appt.

    Weight is harder to shift when you get older. The motivation is easier in the summer , so don't lose heart.

    Have a good day.
    CC1 £3655 April 2018.
    • WeeMidgie
    • By WeeMidgie 11th Feb 18, 10:16 AM
    • 230 Posts
    • 5,040 Thanks
    WeeMidgie
    Hi Pauline, I've just read your thread from the start, and what a brave and determined person, and a great inspiration you are. I really admire your pluck in sticking in and doing stuff to expand your life and build your resilience. The advice you've been given about recovery days is excellent too.

    Thinking about setting yourself new and enjoyable challenges, have you come across a book called"The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron? She recommends two things that I found a great help: morning pages, which is writing down a stream of thoughts first thing in the morning. I found it was like a mental spring clean every day, and I never read the writing again, it was just a great way to get junk out of my head and then I would meditate and start the day feeling calm and clear.

    The second idea is what you've been doing! Taking yourself out to do something just for you. We're all the artists of our own lives, and the book encourages us to use our creativity just as you're doing, to try new things to feed and nourish our wellbeing. Try the library for a copy, or secondhand on Amazon if you would like to explore further ideas from the book. It's very nurturing. I still go back to it for inspiration 15 years after first using it.

    You're doing great, especially keeping the focus on you. Being your own best friend whilst also being there for your neighbour and your bereaved friend despite your own difficulties, I take my hat off to you, you're a very caring person with so much to offer.

    Re time abroad - I've just done that, to help out family. It allowed me to gain perspective, have a rest from the familiar, and coming back, to be clearer about how I would like to shape the next stage of my life. There's something about going away from habits and familiar haunts that allows a change in mental patterns which we may not notice we have.

    Anyway, you're doing great at pattern breaking as it is! More power to your elbow, and all the best!
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 11th Feb 18, 10:20 AM
    • 1,921 Posts
    • 11,773 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Well done Pauline on further getting out and about (and agree with redo about the MSE you met!

    WeeMidgie wrote an excellent, helpful post there as well.

    As Cumbria asked - did you get any further in sorting out things with your ex?
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 20/05/2018: £646.59
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 35!
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 18th Feb 18, 8:40 AM
    • 1,791 Posts
    • 10,802 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Hi Pauline you haven't posted in a while are you ok ?

    Let us know.
    CC1 £3655 April 2018.
    • jwil
    • By jwil 18th Feb 18, 8:53 AM
    • 8,510 Posts
    • 26,032 Thanks
    jwil
    Hope all is ok xx
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 18th Feb 18, 7:56 PM
    • 53,979 Posts
    • 213,918 Thanks
    beanielou
    You are very quiet.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 18th Feb 18, 8:02 PM
    • 5,729 Posts
    • 37,465 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Another one here hopes all is ok xx
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £250.33
    Debt £2500
    May NSDs AFDs
    Weight loss 7/10LBS
    Emergency Fund £2000/£10,000
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 19th Feb 18, 10:36 PM
    • 649 Posts
    • 7,230 Thanks
    117pauline
    Hi folks

    Well, I guess I am back. For some reason I had a complete meltdown last week and everything pretty much stopped. No reason (I wish there were) I can find but normal service has to be resumed.

    Went for a swim last night but went tonight and the online timetable was wrong so the pool was closed. I have eaten properly today and done some boring stuff around the house.

    This up and down thing is really annoying. I am furious I can't manage this better. Tomorrow I will get in contact with someone medical to see what I can do.

    So, sorry to be a disappointment but I am trying to get back on track

    Take care, thanks for popping by to check on me
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 19th Feb 18, 11:17 PM
    • 1,701 Posts
    • 9,169 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    Good to have you back Pauline, and I really think that with all you have to contend with, that eating properly, doing boring things around the house and trying to go for a swim are worth celebrating as achievements. Don't beat yourself up about having down days, they happen and it's your ability to get up and go on that's so amazing and so important.

    Lots of support from your cheerleaders over here, and hugs too xx
    • lonelyrat
    • By lonelyrat 20th Feb 18, 12:06 AM
    • 271 Posts
    • 660 Thanks
    lonelyrat
    Hi Pauline - just checking in. Don't worry about the 'meltdown', things happen and please don't feel a disappointment. I'm sure no one posting on this thread feels that way about you
    Total Debt: 1125 / 7266.93
    Outstanding Debt: Santander CC 450 - Virgin CC 675
    Weight Loss: 7.1kg/ 38kg
    • Lilith1980
    • By Lilith1980 20th Feb 18, 5:32 AM
    • 1,791 Posts
    • 5,086 Thanks
    Lilith1980
    Sorry to hear you've been struggling, Pauline. Don't underestimate how positive it is to be getting those seemingly small things done when you don't feel like it. Hope you feel better soon.
    My debt-free diary
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 20th Feb 18, 12:14 PM
    • 53,979 Posts
    • 213,918 Thanks
    beanielou
    Now, just to say that in no way are you a dissapointment, not to me or anyone else I am sure.
    Keep plodding xx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 20th Feb 18, 9:17 PM
    • 1,791 Posts
    • 10,802 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Forget any setbacks , every day is a fresh start. If you can learn from your setbacks then that's a great thing.

    Well done on the swimming , just aim for a certain amount of lengths , so now you are at 15 next make it 18 and do on, until you get to a number you are happy with.

    As for Spain , I think you need to think about it carefully. Could someone else go with you as well . Then on the other hand if you don't try something you will never know . Maybe just go for a shorter period than a month.

    Bedtime for me now .
    CC1 £3655 April 2018.
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 22nd Feb 18, 9:22 AM
    • 1,701 Posts
    • 9,169 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    Morning Pauline, just sticking my head round the door to see how you are.

    Cuppa?
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 22nd Feb 18, 11:12 AM
    • 53,979 Posts
    • 213,918 Thanks
    beanielou
    How are you today?
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • jwil
    • By jwil 22nd Feb 18, 12:24 PM
    • 8,510 Posts
    • 26,032 Thanks
    jwil
    Take care of yourself xxx
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 27th Feb 18, 9:14 PM
    • 809 Posts
    • 4,159 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    Hi Pauline, just checking in. I'm sorry you have been so down. You are absolutely not a disappointment, I for one find your advice extremely helpful and you always have something wonderful to say to everyone. We are allowed to feel down sometimes, as long as we get up again. Please take care of yourself and try and get out when you feel up to it.
    Debt free by Christmas 2018 #004: 2565.82/7445.69
    £2018 in 2018 #25: 674.21/2018
    SPC 586
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 27th Feb 18, 9:30 PM
    • 53,979 Posts
    • 213,918 Thanks
    beanielou
    "Fall down 7 times, stand up 8"
    Japanese proverb.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • lonelyrat
    • By lonelyrat 28th Feb 18, 10:18 PM
    • 271 Posts
    • 660 Thanks
    lonelyrat
    Hello Pauline Hope you are doing OK. Don't feel any pressure to post or anything. Just wanting to say I'm thinking of you and the squirrels.
    Total Debt: 1125 / 7266.93
    Outstanding Debt: Santander CC 450 - Virgin CC 675
    Weight Loss: 7.1kg/ 38kg
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 28th Feb 18, 10:35 PM
    • 53,979 Posts
    • 213,918 Thanks
    beanielou
    Hope you are staying cosy.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
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