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    • frannyj543
    • By frannyj543 3rd Dec 17, 7:57 PM
    • 177Posts
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    frannyj543
    Developing a drink problem
    • #1
    • 3rd Dec 17, 7:57 PM
    Developing a drink problem 3rd Dec 17 at 7:57 PM
    Hey folks.

    I'm not someone who goes out every weekend or parties too hard. Yes maybe 7/8 years ago I did. However now when I go out I often drink to I almost cant stand. I dont feel it coming on its like I go from tipsey to full drunk at the flick of a switch.

    When I go out it tends to be all or nothing so I often end up drunk and can hardly remember things. My legs also seem to give up on me.

    Anyone else decide to give up alcohol cause of these things. It's happening more regularly when I was younger I went out didn't feel I drank anymore than now but I was ok. Now I'm falling.

    Im starting to get worried that I may be developing a drink problem. This looks like a sign?
Page 1
    • ididntgetwhereiamtoday
    • By ididntgetwhereiamtoday 4th Dec 17, 6:33 AM
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    ididntgetwhereiamtoday
    • #2
    • 4th Dec 17, 6:33 AM
    • #2
    • 4th Dec 17, 6:33 AM
    I think you!!!8217;ve seen the light! Go tee total.
    I didn't get where i am today by not reading moneysavingexpert.com
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 4th Dec 17, 9:45 AM
    • 20,039 Posts
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    Pollycat
    • #3
    • 4th Dec 17, 9:45 AM
    • #3
    • 4th Dec 17, 9:45 AM
    Hey folks.

    I'm not someone who goes out every weekend or parties too hard. Yes maybe 7/8 years ago I did. However now when I go out I often drink to I almost cant stand. I dont feel it coming on its like I go from tipsey to full drunk at the flick of a switch.

    When I go out it tends to be all or nothing so I often end up drunk and can hardly remember things. My legs also seem to give up on me.

    Anyone else decide to give up alcohol cause of these things. It's happening more regularly when I was younger I went out didn't feel I drank anymore than now but I was ok. Now I'm falling.

    Im starting to get worried that I may be developing a drink problem. This looks like a sign?
    Originally posted by frannyj543
    If you drink until you fall down and can't remember things, I'd say you already have a drink problem.
    • Sephs
    • By Sephs 4th Dec 17, 12:39 PM
    • 32 Posts
    • 49 Thanks
    Sephs
    • #4
    • 4th Dec 17, 12:39 PM
    • #4
    • 4th Dec 17, 12:39 PM
    I have experienced this a few times and it's been enough to really frighten me into rethinking my actions.

    I have considered going teetotal but instead I'm going to try to slow down on my drinks and drink plenty of water in between alcoholic drinks. Certain conditions can make you more sensitive to alcohol and I've found that's the case with me. I just can't drink like I used to! Plus I have multiple chronic conditions and a hangover only exacerbates my symptoms.

    Are you on any medications or do you have any health conditions that could be to blame for the sudden drunkenness?
    • Soph1988
    • By Soph1988 4th Dec 17, 9:51 PM
    • 36 Posts
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    Soph1988
    • #5
    • 4th Dec 17, 9:51 PM
    • #5
    • 4th Dec 17, 9:51 PM
    As I've got older my tolerance for drinking has lowered. I'm not sure if its age or just because it happens less often now, but if I haven't had a big meal midday and have a pint, half way through the pint I'll be tipsy.

    I would suggest you maybe go for far weaker drinks if you HAVE to drink - spritzers? Shandy?
    If you really feel you need to get so drunk you can't keep yourself safe and don't remember what you did, I'd suggest you get some help as to why you feel the need to do this. Talk to your GP.
    • frannyj543
    • By frannyj543 5th Dec 17, 1:54 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    frannyj543
    • #6
    • 5th Dec 17, 1:54 PM
    • #6
    • 5th Dec 17, 1:54 PM
    Thanks for the replies. No not on any medication. I would classify myself as a fit young male. Run 5km in around 20 mins.

    It seems more frequently now. It's probably a combination of factors.

    I dont drink anywhere near the amount I used to when early 20s. So my body isnt used to the volumes anymore.

    I live abroad so the measures are bigger here.

    I also live in a country where a speak a little of the language so when everyone's talking I'm drinking.

    However I do believe I use alcohol to feel happier in my surroundings and I dont seem to have a warning sign limit. I remember being tipsey during the night but the rest after tipsey is a blackout. It's worrying.

    I'm going to give drink this Christmas a wide berth as I'm worried I may blackout after 5-6 beers. My problem is I can have 3 beer and stop and go home however if it passes 4 or 5 that's me wanting to stay out for the night

    It's a sad way to be with alcohol. I also have family that had drink problems and depression issues so I fear i could be next.
    • Shrimply
    • By Shrimply 5th Dec 17, 1:57 PM
    • 857 Posts
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    Shrimply
    • #7
    • 5th Dec 17, 1:57 PM
    • #7
    • 5th Dec 17, 1:57 PM
    Thanks for the replies. No not on any medication. I would classify myself as a fit young male. Run 5km in around 20 mins.
    Originally posted by frannyj543
    Are you working out and exercising more than you used to? This might also play a factor.
    • Sephs
    • By Sephs 5th Dec 17, 2:01 PM
    • 32 Posts
    • 49 Thanks
    Sephs
    • #8
    • 5th Dec 17, 2:01 PM
    • #8
    • 5th Dec 17, 2:01 PM
    I think moderation is key, so why not have a soft drink between each alcoholic drink and see how you go? I've found this works really well for me. I drink brandy and coke so nobody is aware that I'm drinking a soft drink in between, and it stops any awkward pressure.
    • jenniewb
    • By jenniewb 5th Dec 17, 2:07 PM
    • 12,396 Posts
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    jenniewb
    • #9
    • 5th Dec 17, 2:07 PM
    • #9
    • 5th Dec 17, 2:07 PM
    OP it's only you that will be able to tell if you've got a problem with alcohol, weather it's depending on it to get through the day or not knowing how to stop (it should just be reducing your intake but if you are struggling to do this because you feel compelled to drink or you "forget" to cut back or whatever) or if it's not being able to stop once you start...if it feels like more of the alcohol than you in your actions to drink/cut back then you know that alcohol is a problem.


    If you need support, it is there- various charities and also via your GP (though the latter will have a waiting list), if you've tried to stop, cut back or deal with the side effects of having too much to drink repeatedly, I'd strongly advise you get help and also get support, weather that be via a support group or alcohol support counsellor, I head too much about people who think they've got things under control but on the outside it looks like anything but. Help is available, if you need it, get it whilst it is still available.
    • frannyj543
    • By frannyj543 5th Dec 17, 7:16 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    frannyj543
    No I'm not working out anymore. I have no urges to drink mid week and it wouldn't bother me to go a month without it.

    My problem is the 4th or 5th beer I want more. I want to stay out and nothing triggers to say.... wow your drunk here get a shandy instead or a vodka.

    I'm going to just give it a miss for a while. I'm starting to not trust myself with it. I dont fight or act bad I just end up staggering home and the odd time falling and waking up with a bump or bruise.
    • jenniewb
    • By jenniewb 6th Dec 17, 3:57 AM
    • 12,396 Posts
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    jenniewb
    No I'm not working out anymore. I have no urges to drink mid week and it wouldn't bother me to go a month without it.

    My problem is the 4th or 5th beer I want more. I want to stay out and nothing triggers to say.... wow your drunk here get a shandy instead or a vodka.

    I'm going to just give it a miss for a while. I'm starting to not trust myself with it. I dont fight or act bad I just end up staggering home and the odd time falling and waking up with a bump or bruise.
    Originally posted by frannyj543
    I hope you're right and you got this, but I worry that it may feel harder than you think, but it's good that you can recognise something isn't quite right.


    Maybe cut back/cut out for a few weeks, see how it feels. But don't expect it to have made you good as new- IME of others, you can stop but once you start again, even if it's been years, it can feel like you've just picked up where you stopped before so bare it in mind it may be something you always need to watch.


    It can feel harder when there is an emotional need to escape or forget about things. If you think this is happening, look at what you are otherwise struggling with so it doesn't pose a risk in the future.
    • frannyj543
    • By frannyj543 6th Dec 17, 1:11 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 108 Thanks
    frannyj543
    Yeah emotional wise this 2 years has been a rollercoaster which probably hasn't helped matters.

    -I had some financial difficulties
    -I became financially well after 1 year of saving
    -I moved abroad with partner and opened a business
    -I struggled with identity here was uncertain if this is were I want to be.
    -my mother passed away suddenly. It happened to be around a time when we had had a stupid falling out for a couple of weeks and both too stubborn to say sorry.
    -then returned couldn't sleep, used drinking as an outlet at weekends had difficulties with my relationship and frustrations that I was somewhere I didn't see I wanted to spend my future.
    To date I am still worried about what to do with my mother's house that still has a mortgage I need to decide very soon and also I am at an age where really my next move whether that is to stay here in my new country and buy or to buy at home is making my life abit difficult.

    It's nothing more than the average person has to face but most of them probably think drink wouldn't be the best route. As i say I certainly have no cravings for drink. There's times I don't drink for 5-6 weeks. But when I decide to go out I usually go out with the intention to get drunk and it ends up worse than 5-6 years ago. Like a trigger hits self explode after 6 beers.
    • OldMotherTucker
    • By OldMotherTucker 11th Dec 17, 3:14 AM
    • 7,555 Posts
    • 16,777 Thanks
    OldMotherTucker
    No I'm not working out anymore. I have no urges to drink mid week and it wouldn't bother me to go a month without it.

    My problem is the 4th or 5th beer I want more. I want to stay out and nothing triggers to say.... wow your drunk here get a shandy instead or a vodka.

    I'm going to just give it a miss for a while. I'm starting to not trust myself with it. I dont fight or act bad I just end up staggering home and the odd time falling and waking up with a bump or bruise.
    Originally posted by frannyj543
    I have been in exactly the same position - could go weeks without a drink but after the second or third, I liked the feeling and didn't want to stop. I rapidly lost good judgement and kidded myself that I could keep up round for round with everyone else! I seemed to get a lot drunker a lot quicker when out drinking than if I had a couple at home (which was rare) It didn't seem too bad because everyone else was drinking and obviously under the influence . . but it was having a stronger effect on me for some reason . .

    Coming from a family with alcohol problems and having lost my mother and my brother within 2 weeks of each other, 8 years ago, due to liver failure, you'd think I'd be put off booze for life but, ironically, that was the time I gradually turned to alcohol, having never been a drinker in the past.

    I hardly drink any more -I usually nominate myself as designated driver but I rarely go to pubs or bars anyway - it doesn't appeal to me! I enjoy a glass of wine with a meal occasionally and I have an open bottle of 12 year old malt which I bought in June . .

    I've learnt that it's not about how much you drink -we can all tolerate different amounts anyway - it's the reason why you drink that's the killer!!

    You sound like you're pretty switched on and aren't making excuses ,and you've clearly identified why and where you drink. Are there any changes you could make there?
    Last edited by OldMotherTucker; 11-12-2017 at 3:17 AM.
    Should have joined Borrowmydoggy.com
    • jenniewb
    • By jenniewb 11th Dec 17, 3:41 AM
    • 12,396 Posts
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    jenniewb
    Yeah emotional wise this 2 years has been a rollercoaster which probably hasn't helped matters.

    ....................................

    It's nothing more than the average person has to face but most of them probably think drink wouldn't be the best route. .................
    Originally posted by frannyj543


    OP you don't need to justify why things feel difficult or why you feel you are turning to drink for relief if this is what is happening. It's no one's business to judge or justify your feelings or OK them either- that's your business and accepting them and getting help is yours to do (or not) too.


    Everyone has a right to feel whatever they do, we don't get to choose how we feel, we only get to choose what we do with those feelings.


    If you are struggling and you are aware you are not managing or managing but in an unhealthy way, the ball is then in your court to either ignore any warning signs (and potentially get worse) or to get help. It will feel like a big step to go against the grain and do the opposite of what you are already doing but in my experience (with myself and others) it ends up being what you need to do but you just have a long list of additional problems caused by the overuse of your new found coping strategy (be it alcohol, drugs, food or even exercise) you end up with the same options you had to begin with: get help or don't get help, only you end up needing more help if you've caused yourself more emotional and physical damage in the process.


    Have you tried looking into any group support? Or calling help lines? Either can be really helpful for signposting you to well walked routes and methods that help by those that have actually used them themselves.


    You don't realise this, but you are ahead of yourself by recognising a problem, many don't and some never do, others never want to. It sounds like you have a choice not everyone has so early on.
    • WibblyGirly
    • By WibblyGirly 17th Dec 17, 12:45 PM
    • 373 Posts
    • 671 Thanks
    WibblyGirly
    I used to get crazy black out drunk. I don't do that anymore. What works for me is no pre drinking at home. If we leave the house at 11 for town then my first drink is after 11 when were in the bar. I also don't do shots, bombs or drink doubles anymore. Means I have a decent night I remember without being black out drunk.
    • Primrose
    • By Primrose 18th Dec 17, 5:37 PM
    • 8,027 Posts
    • 28,098 Thanks
    Primrose
    [QUOTE=frannyj543;73522308]Yeah emotional wise this 2 years has been a rollercoaster which probably hasn't helped matters.

    -I had some financial difficulties
    -I became financially well after 1 year of saving
    -I moved abroad with partner and opened a business
    -I struggled with identity here was uncertain if this is were I want to be.
    -my mother passed away suddenly. It happened to be around a time when we had had a stupid falling out for a couple of weeks and both too stubborn to say sorry.
    -then returned couldn't sleep, used drinking as an outlet at weekends had difficulties with my relationship and frustrations that I was somewhere I didn't see I wanted to spend my future.
    To date I am still worried about what to do with my mother's house that still has a mortgage I need to decide very soon and also I am at an age where really my next move whether that is to stay here in my new country and buy or to buy at home is making my life abit difficult.

    QUOTE]
    Franny - you tick many of the key boxes for needing some serious emotional support in the form of counselling, or support from an alcohol addiction programme.
    You are starting to seriously question your alcohol intake which is a good starting point.
    I really suggest you lay off it now and if you find your willpower is not strong enough to do this alone, suggest you get some help.


    You have a lot of serious decisions facing you, and trying to make rational choices which will affect your long term future will not be helped when your brain is under the influence of alcohol.
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 18th Dec 17, 5:39 PM
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    PasturesNew
    If you adamantly stay out of all rounds ... you'll be able to get it under control.

    It's other people buying drinks that tends to speed up the time between drinks and what you drink. Buy your own, stay out of rounds ... don't get sucked in. Then get yourself a nice little drink at the start before switching to soft drinks and making sure you're drinking slower than the others. When they're off for round 2 you should still have 1/3rd of your drink left.... and no urgency to neck it.
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