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  • FIRST POST
    • Primrose
    • By Primrose 30th Nov 17, 3:56 PM
    • 8,027Posts
    • 28,098Thanks
    Primrose
    The Annual Christmas card list
    • #1
    • 30th Nov 17, 3:56 PM
    The Annual Christmas card list 30th Nov 17 at 3:56 PM
    Ours is massive due to a multitude of connections over the years. However, more recently we,ve stopped hearing from some people and honestly donít know if theyíve moved, died or just donít send cards any more, which if you only keep in touch at Christmas, effectively breaks the bond.

    We need to rationalise our list because of mounting postage costs but I feel we should give some once good friends one last chance before striking them off the list. Is there any tactful wording one can use which effectively says ďif we donít hear news of you this year , we sadly have to let you goĒ.

    One friend keeps a list of non recipients against her list and after two years of no news strikes them off.
    What do others do ?
Page 1
    • Nick_C
    • By Nick_C 30th Nov 17, 4:00 PM
    • 3,808 Posts
    • 5,234 Thanks
    Nick_C
    • #2
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:00 PM
    • #2
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:00 PM
    I've not sent Christmas cards for years.

    If your only contact with someone is an annual exchange of cards, then what's the point?
    • spadoosh
    • By spadoosh 30th Nov 17, 4:02 PM
    • 5,136 Posts
    • 6,884 Thanks
    spadoosh
    • #3
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:02 PM
    • #3
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:02 PM
    I dont send Christmas cards. Every Christmas card ive received says

    To Spadoosh

    Merry Christmas

    Love Sender.
    Sometimes they spice it up with Merry Xmas instead.

    I skip out the to bit and love bit as well. I just say merry Christmas to people if/when i see them. If i know im not going to see someone i care about around Christmas time i will facetime or call them.
    Don't be angry!
    • Judi
    • By Judi 30th Nov 17, 4:40 PM
    • 16,107 Posts
    • 69,987 Thanks
    Judi
    • #4
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:40 PM
    • #4
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:40 PM
    Family cards only here.
    'Holy crap on a cracker!'
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 30th Nov 17, 4:47 PM
    • 17,171 Posts
    • 26,528 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    • #5
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:47 PM
    • #5
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:47 PM
    Ours is massive due to a multitude of connections over the years. However, more recently we,ve stopped hearing from some people and honestly donít know if theyíve moved, died or just donít send cards any more, which if you only keep in touch at Christmas, effectively breaks the bond.

    We need to rationalise our list because of mounting postage costs but I feel we should give some once good friends one last chance before striking them off the list. Is there any tactful wording one can use which effectively says ďif we donít hear news of you this year , we sadly have to let you goĒ.

    One friend keeps a list of non recipients against her list and after two years of no news strikes them off.
    What do others do ?
    Originally posted by Primrose
    I always put my address on the back and get one returned occasionally. Otherwise if I've heard nothing for a couple of years then I do remove them from my list.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • Gers
    • By Gers 30th Nov 17, 4:49 PM
    • 6,400 Posts
    • 40,466 Thanks
    Gers
    • #6
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:49 PM
    • #6
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:49 PM
    Havenít sent Christmas cards for years and years, only one to my DM. It was always a joyless chore which I resented doing.
    • VJsmum
    • By VJsmum 30th Nov 17, 4:56 PM
    • 5,138 Posts
    • 75,599 Thanks
    VJsmum
    • #7
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:56 PM
    • #7
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:56 PM
    We stopped sending cards last year. We put a 'Happy christmas, we aren't sending cards' message on Facebook, sent a couple to elderly relatives who are not on facebook and made a donation (yes, including the cost of the postage, as someone asked us last year) to a charity.

    The relief at not having to write and address those cards is immense.
    You're out with a friend in the capital, I'm a thousand leagues under the sea
    You're hovering worriedly over your eggs, And I'm pondering trees
    I'm wandering long, And I'm pondering trees
    For you and me
    Guy Garvey
    • LameWolf
    • By LameWolf 30th Nov 17, 4:56 PM
    • 10,467 Posts
    • 114,315 Thanks
    LameWolf
    • #8
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:56 PM
    • #8
    • 30th Nov 17, 4:56 PM
    I have my Yule list on an OpenOffice spreadsheet, and add a new column each year. I colour-code the entries so that I know who we had cards from; each year I copy'n'paste the previous year's list and delete any who have died or we haven't heard from for the previous two years.

    The list grows shorter by the year; this year it is down to 22, and that includes the neighbours in the close, whose cards Mr LW delivers by hand.

    As a separate exercise - I am a Carer with a dog-sitting company, and we are encouraged to create a good relationship with owners of regular guests; these will get an email greeting - I shall scan the image I used for my cards (I make my own) and put this on the email with a suitable greeting.

    Judi if we only did family, it would only be two cards, to Mr LW's sister and his cousin.

    To be honest, I'd happily drop the practise completely, but Mr LW likes to send them.
    Last edited by LameWolf; 30-11-2017 at 5:00 PM.
    LameWolf
    If your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 30th Nov 17, 6:25 PM
    • 20,018 Posts
    • 53,731 Thanks
    Pollycat
    • #9
    • 30th Nov 17, 6:25 PM
    • #9
    • 30th Nov 17, 6:25 PM
    One friend keeps a list of non recipients against her list and after two years of no news strikes them off.
    What do others do ?
    Originally posted by Primrose
    This ^^^^

    If your only contact with someone is an annual exchange of cards, then what's the point?
    Originally posted by Nick_C
    I disagree.

    I send cards to people that I worked with who don't live near me.
    It's not just a card though, I write a letter and comment on what they told me the previous year in their card.
    • rach_k
    • By rach_k 30th Nov 17, 7:22 PM
    • 1,230 Posts
    • 2,092 Thanks
    rach_k
    I don't send cards to receive them back, although it's lovely when that happens. If you want to shorten your list, why not go through and think about who you actually want to send one to, regardless of whether they return them or not?
    • Elliesmum
    • By Elliesmum 30th Nov 17, 11:21 PM
    • 1,475 Posts
    • 1,781 Thanks
    Elliesmum
    My Mum has a tick out, tick in system. Nothing the year before and they're struck off!

    Me - I only send 10 to relatives and they are written and ready to be sent.

    EM x
    You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
    Plato Make £2018 in 2018 no. 37 - total = £1626.25/£2018
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 1st Dec 17, 6:52 AM
    • 15,599 Posts
    • 43,332 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    I also follow the "If no card for 2 years - then assume they've stopped sending to me (for whatever reason)" and drop it rule.
    Like Frankie said - I did it my way.
    It's MY life......
    • Slinky
    • By Slinky 1st Dec 17, 11:16 AM
    • 5,192 Posts
    • 23,981 Thanks
    Slinky
    I've received our first Christmas card today.

    ETA, I'm already vaccuuming up glitter.
    Last edited by Slinky; 01-12-2017 at 11:22 AM.
    • luxor4t
    • By luxor4t 1st Dec 17, 3:16 PM
    • 10,061 Posts
    • 36,301 Thanks
    luxor4t

    If your only contact with someone is an annual exchange of cards, then what's the point?
    Originally posted by Nick_C
    For me, it is a way of saying "thank you" as many on my list are people who were kind to me at various bad times in my life, but I now start my card writing by checking the obituaries in the local paper's website, just in case.

    I haven't bought cards this year but it seems I have enough for several years, so maybe when they run out I will stop
    I can cook and sew, make flowers grow.
    • JackieO
    • By JackieO 1st Dec 17, 5:58 PM
    • 15,885 Posts
    • 134,633 Thanks
    JackieO
    I am sending no cards this year and have told my friends I intend to donate to the Sally Army as the cash will help feed someone who is in need of a hot meal and it will do more good than a piece of card that will end up in the bin
    Quot Libros,Quam Breve Tempus. 2018
    Running total for four months food only shopping =£126.24.Freezer stuff slowly going down at last May totals £31.11 freezer and tinned cupboards are going down nicely
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 1st Dec 17, 7:59 PM
    • 20,018 Posts
    • 53,731 Thanks
    Pollycat
    I am sending no cards this year and have told my friends I intend to donate to the Sally Army as the cash will help feed someone who is in need of a hot meal and it will do more good than a piece of card that will end up in the bin
    Originally posted by JackieO
    I think that's a great idea.
    As long as you tell people that is what you're doing in plenty of time so they can also choose to send you a card or donate to a charity of their choice.
    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 1st Dec 17, 9:07 PM
    • 2,680 Posts
    • 4,342 Thanks
    trailingspouse
    I've just sat down and pruned my Christmas card list - the sad task of crossing off people who have died during the year, but also I've taken the decision to drop people who I haven't seen or heard from for years. Basically, if I could pass them on the street without recognising, they're off. But I've also added some new friends and neighbours to the list.

    Having said that, I keep a few cards ready to reciprocate if I get a card from someone I wasn't expecting...
    • LameWolf
    • By LameWolf 2nd Dec 17, 3:48 PM
    • 10,467 Posts
    • 114,315 Thanks
    LameWolf
    Having said that, I keep a few cards ready to reciprocate if I get a card from someone I wasn't expecting...
    Originally posted by trailingspouse
    I've kept my design for this year on the computer, so I can easily print out extras if needed.
    LameWolf
    If your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.
    • Prinzessilein
    • By Prinzessilein 2nd Dec 17, 4:10 PM
    • 2,266 Posts
    • 10,543 Thanks
    Prinzessilein
    Family and a couple of close friends get a hand-made (cross stitch) card.

    I live in sheltered housing, I buy a small box of cheap but nice cards to send to some of the residents here. (Some of the residents here have no relatives, and have no friends left, so don't get cards sent from other people...and there is one lovely person here with learning difficulties who just LOVES getting a card!)

    Other than this, no one gets a card.

    I used to send far to many cards...to people at work and to people at church...some of the work cards were to people I barely spoke to all year, they were in different departments and on a different floor....in the end I just placed one card on the general notice board, and let it be known that I was donating to charity instead...as it happened the church made a similar policy the same year, we all paid into a charity pots and didn't send each other cards.

    This year, my chosen charity is the local foodbank.
    • JackieO
    • By JackieO 3rd Dec 17, 12:46 AM
    • 15,885 Posts
    • 134,633 Thanks
    JackieO
    I told all of my friends and family in October and told them I would rather donate than send cards as this year times are hard enough for most people let alone the homeless and dispossessed, so the Sally Army who do so much to help will get my cash .My DGD often donates surplus stuff she is given at school as there is no way she can eat her way through umpteen boxes of biscuits and chocolates She tells the children not to buy ,but their mums still do it. But our local sally army hostel are always please dto receive surplus stuff, not every one has family or friends at this time of the year its felt the most I think
    Quot Libros,Quam Breve Tempus. 2018
    Running total for four months food only shopping =£126.24.Freezer stuff slowly going down at last May totals £31.11 freezer and tinned cupboards are going down nicely
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