Money Moral Dilemma: Should my husband contribute more to our finances?

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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Newbie
    Holiday Haggler
    We push our child benefit into a savings account neither of us use. At the end of the year it's used to pay back the amount HMRC wants.

    BUT.. We fully sign up to the 'family money' principle. I earn the most, I pay most of the bills. We don't try to do it precise - we just know that there isn't a big definition of what 'my' money is.
  • MandM90
    MandM90 Posts: 2,246 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post Combo Breaker
    Assuming OP is saying that the amount put into the joint account is just to cover bills, then I think it sounds quite unfair. If you're pulling your weight at home covering childcare, then it doesn't seem fair that he can save more, both in general and for retirement and in the meantime leave you strapped for cash and living at a different quality of life.

    I don't understand the concept of not sharing money as a married couple, unless everything is split so each has equal financial opportunity (for asset accumulation, spending, pension etc). As far as I'm concerned, my husband and I are now living the same life and must make sure that it's an equal one. When we met, I was earning double what he did, now he earns 3X more. Before we married we split bills 50/50 but whoever earned more picked up the bill on more treats/holidays. After we married we got joint accounts and figured out a plan to enable us to save for retirement equally, and have similar spending monies. I can't imagine living with someone, claiming to love them above all others but allowing them to worry about money whilst I have plenty of it!
  • meknowalot-51
    meknowalot-51 Posts: 237 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Post
    Just one thing i'd like to know and that is this,"after he's paid half the bills,what does he do with the rest of his paycheck?"
  • tain
    tain Posts: 711 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    74jax wrote: »
    This isn't actually a person asking for their own benefit, it's an mse made up question. Waste of time. Better off helping those who have posted actual queries.

    Right, and us having to read these kind of boring posts every single time isn't a waste of time???

    Considering they probably get a few thousand of these suggestions a week, I'd be very surprised if they made them up. They simply wouldn't have to.
  • tain
    tain Posts: 711 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    This is an easy one this week. Divorce him so you get 50% of everything he owns, or whatever the UK equivalent is. Everyones a winner then.
  • HonestJim
    HonestJim Posts: 1 Newbie
    My wife and I have ALWAYS had a joint bank account into which both our salaries are paid. It matters not a jot to us as to who gets the higher salary (it has never been an agenda item) but ALL of our expenses come out of the account, both household and personal. We are an equal partnership, and it works.
  • Bellisima
    Bellisima Posts: 150 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    I find this system so odd. My husband and I (I sound like the queen!) have always had a joint current account where all our incomes are pooled to pay bills etc. I know Martin doesn’t approve of joint accounts, but it works well for us. There were times in the past where only one of us was working and the joint account worked well. We are a partnership and what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine, that’s just the way it is. We’ve been together 35 years so we must be doing something right! I know this isn’t for everyone, and I do have a friend who secretly squirrels away money from his wife, not exactly a great partnership is it?
  • Mal25
    Mal25 Posts: 10 Forumite
    This sounds more like a financial arrangement than a marriage. Just share everything rather than worrying who contributes what.
  • svain
    svain Posts: 516 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary
    Absolutely nothing wrong with separate accounts if done properly. Joint accounts, as is marriage is an outdated concept. Couples can have very happy and successful lives together without either
  • bluebaron
    bluebaron Posts: 152 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    You would be better off telling HMRC and not claiming the child benefit in the first place, you are effectively claiming it then repaying it in full,

    Ive tried various ways over the years and I always end up bailing my wife out after she over spends every month!

    So much so that I now pay all the bills every month. she keeps her entire take home pay of around £1200 and after I clear the monthly bills am left with around £800. If she over spends now I tell her she effectively earns more than me so tough!

    She's also part time and has Monday and Tuesday off and i expect her to use these days for housework, laundry etc. Thats the pay off but i do get annoyed when she spends the day shopping or riding her horse!

    BB
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