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    • MSE Sarah
    • By MSE Sarah 30th Nov 17, 1:32 PM
    • 119Posts
    • 63Thanks
    MSE Sarah
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should my husband contribute more to our finances?
    • #1
    • 30th Nov 17, 1:32 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should my husband contribute more to our finances? 30th Nov 17 at 1:32 PM
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    My husband and I have always split bills 50/50 and pay them from a joint account, despite him earning three times as much as me. We recently had a baby, so my earnings dropped significantly. I've claimed child benefit, which is paid into our joint account, but as my husband earns about £60,000 a year, he has to pay a 'high income child benefit tax charge' and says it should come from our joint account. Is this fair?

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

    If you havenít already, join the forum to reply!

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Page 1
    • Kazt2006
    • By Kazt2006 5th Dec 17, 9:55 PM
    • 10 Posts
    • 33 Thanks
    • #2
    • 5th Dec 17, 9:55 PM
    • #2
    • 5th Dec 17, 9:55 PM
    Yes if that!!!8217;s where the money goes into!
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 5th Dec 17, 10:00 PM
    • 3,302 Posts
    • 3,538 Thanks
    • #3
    • 5th Dec 17, 10:00 PM
    • #3
    • 5th Dec 17, 10:00 PM
    Yes, the family is one big income.

    There should be no 50/50 when marriage and kids are involved.
    Last edited by cjdavies; 05-12-2017 at 10:02 PM.
    • leslieknope
    • By leslieknope 5th Dec 17, 10:00 PM
    • 315 Posts
    • 480 Thanks
    • #4
    • 5th Dec 17, 10:00 PM
    • #4
    • 5th Dec 17, 10:00 PM
    i hope all your money goes into a joint account and you spend it as a family...
    CCCC #33: £42/£240
    DFW: £4355/£4405
    • michaels
    • By michaels 5th Dec 17, 11:10 PM
    • 20,699 Posts
    • 95,804 Thanks
    • #5
    • 5th Dec 17, 11:10 PM
    • #5
    • 5th Dec 17, 11:10 PM
    He should salary sacrifice into his pension down to 50k as the marginal tax rate from 50k to 60k is crippling - probably worth doing it down to higher rate tax threshold to be honest.

    DW and I do not have separate money. Sadly as my earning power is greater than hers, I work and she stays at home saving the childcare costs - wish it were the other way around.
    Cool heads and compromise
    • Tom99
    • By Tom99 5th Dec 17, 11:28 PM
    • 2,070 Posts
    • 1,393 Thanks
    • #6
    • 5th Dec 17, 11:28 PM
    • #6
    • 5th Dec 17, 11:28 PM
    Are you sure you are married? Sounds more like a business arrangement.
    • amateur house
    • By amateur house 5th Dec 17, 11:53 PM
    • 260 Posts
    • 219 Thanks
    amateur house
    • #7
    • 5th Dec 17, 11:53 PM
    • #7
    • 5th Dec 17, 11:53 PM
    I've just had to look up what this charge is as I've never heard of it (never earned enough). The way you describe it is that you each pay the same amounts towards the bills. If you don't get any benefit from his earnings being over the limit to get child benefit I can see why you wouldn't want to pay it from the joint account. You would actually be better off if he earned less if his higher earnings are going to his own personal account rather than benefiting the family as a whole.
    • Big Ot
    • By Big Ot 5th Dec 17, 11:54 PM
    • 11 Posts
    • 34 Thanks
    Big Ot
    • #8
    • 5th Dec 17, 11:54 PM
    • #8
    • 5th Dec 17, 11:54 PM
    I've never understood 'my money/your money' with married couples. It's our money! It's worked for us for over forty years.
    • kelpie35
    • By kelpie35 6th Dec 17, 12:11 AM
    • 1,551 Posts
    • 5,019 Thanks
    • #9
    • 6th Dec 17, 12:11 AM
    • #9
    • 6th Dec 17, 12:11 AM
    I always thought a marriage was a partnership.

    I do not believe that there should be your money/his money.

    I do not see a problem when all the money that comes into the home is put into one pot. Then each of you has an equal "pocket money" to spend on whatever you wish.

    I do hate the idea that there is so much comparison made about how much each earns and what each should contribute.
    • starting_again_in_the_sun
    • By starting_again_in_the_sun 6th Dec 17, 12:14 AM
    • 117 Posts
    • 628 Thanks
    If you really must keep your incomes separate, you should probably pay a % of bills representative of your income share rather than just splitting it 50/50.

    So, if your husband earns 60k and you, for example, earn 20k, he should pay for 75% of the outgoings from the joint account.

    I would be concerned if he had a problem with this....
    • AnneMary
    • By AnneMary 6th Dec 17, 5:38 AM
    • 55 Posts
    • 124 Thanks
    You are married. You have a baby. It's time to stop sorting your finances as flatmates and make decisions about what kind of family you want to be.
    • getmore4less
    • By getmore4less 6th Dec 17, 7:01 AM
    • 32,036 Posts
    • 19,224 Thanks
    Talk amongst yourselves guys the person asking won't ever read them so stop asking them questions.
    • 74jax
    • By 74jax 6th Dec 17, 7:12 AM
    • 4,679 Posts
    • 6,375 Thanks
    This isn't actually a person asking for their own benefit, it's an mse made up question. Waste of time. Better off helping those who have posted actual queries.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
    • KenSim
    • By KenSim 6th Dec 17, 7:17 AM
    • 7 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    All of both incomes should go into a joint account and be spent on the whole family. I think separate accounts shows a lack of trust in the marriage or ulterior motive.
    • Esort
    • By Esort 6th Dec 17, 7:28 AM
    • 5 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    In our home we put all the combined income into one account. Both husband and wife then take out the same amount of !!!8220;spending money!!!8221; per month and we have agreed which things come out of our own personal money (clothes, haircuts, hobbies). Everything else comes out of the joint account including all bills and tax. Your marriage will end up miserable if one of you is richer than the other. And one person generally does more around the house because they work fewer hours or whatever but they shouldn!!!8217;t end up financially penalized for this!
    • flphoto
    • By flphoto 6th Dec 17, 7:33 AM
    • 1 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    Can never understand married couple with 50/50, seems like they think they may need out and making plans. MArriage kids mortgage etc, one big pot and work together with that money
    • Malcolm_E
    • By Malcolm_E 6th Dec 17, 8:37 AM
    • 19 Posts
    • 18 Thanks
    Joint account vs personal accounts
    If all money goes into the joint account, then the bills will automatically be split in proportion to earnings. If each of you keeps some money back in a personal account for personal expenses (like buying each other Christmas presents), then the amount per month kept back in those accounts should be the same for each partner, IMHO. In this way, joint bills paid from the joint account would still be split fairly, arguably more fairly. I guess you might then find that the nature of the discussion about what counts as a joint bill might change!
    • Malcolm_E
    • By Malcolm_E 6th Dec 17, 8:49 AM
    • 19 Posts
    • 18 Thanks
    This isn't actually a person asking for their own benefit, it's an mse made up question.
    Originally posted by 74jax
    Is this true?
    Last edited by Malcolm_E; 06-12-2017 at 8:50 AM. Reason: Correction.
    • lidl 1
    • By lidl 1 6th Dec 17, 8:56 AM
    • 4 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    lidl 1
    if he pays m ore and you pay less will you accept that same split of assets if marriage fails...NO??? I didnt think so!
    • bzd
    • By bzd 6th Dec 17, 9:38 AM
    • 113 Posts
    • 79 Thanks
    Well if you're at home more of the time than him you should probably be paying for more of the heating/electricity bills etc. But then on the other hand you're providing childcare for his child so you should be charging him 50% of the daily going rate for that too.
    This is how being married works isn't it?
    Ditch the separate accounts unless they're transparent ISAs or Savings (in which case the only financial justification is if the savings are in your name).
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