Nice way of saying no thanks?

elsien · 22 November 2017 at 4:00PM

C_J wrote: »

This.

How awful would your brother feel if he's already bought you the Jo Malone candle?

If he's anything like my brother, the thought of shopping won't cross his mind till about mid December. Then it'll take him another week to get round to doing it. Then I'll get a text saying "I'm shopping now. If you don't give me some ideas in the next half hour, you're not getting anything."

Lolu · 22 November 2017 at 4:11PM

Hi

We have these debates at work all the time, and i’d Definitely try and be on the front foot! I’d say, the surprise element of Christmas presents is great, but this year I’d like to get you guys a little something you’d actually want. So how about we send Each Other’ some ideas. No ungrateful tones whatsoever, but gets you in the position to put some ideas out.

7roland8 · 22 November 2017 at 4:24PM

Lolu wrote: »

Hi

We have these debates at work all the time, and i’d Definitely try and be on the front foot! I’d say, the surprise element of Christmas presents is great, but this year I’d like to get you guys a little something you’d actually want. So how about we send Each Other’ some ideas. No ungrateful tones whatsoever, but gets you in the position to put some ideas out.

Yes but its too late to have that sort of conversation now isn't it when stuff might be bought already.

You can make a suggestion in the New Year - but then they might think back to all the Christmasses they've wasted money on stuff you didn't like - so tread carefully.

Lolu · 22 November 2017 at 4:34PM

Why would it be too late? You’re making a gross assumption that he’s done and dusted with Christmas shopping! Bit presumptuous- not sure where you got that from! It’s a candle, it’s not an item with her name engraved on it! He could give it to a neighbour for example & get her what she wants! Just an ‘assumption’ but if I had a spare candle I’m sure I could find someone to give it to without any drama

7roland8 · 22 November 2017 at 10:27PM

Lolu wrote: »

Why would it be too late? You’re making a gross assumption that he’s done and dusted with Christmas shopping! Bit presumptuous- not sure where you got that from! It’s a candle, it’s not an item with her name engraved on it! He could give it to a neighbour for example & get her what she wants! Just an ‘assumption’ but if I had a spare candle I’m sure I could find someone to give it to without any drama

Well my stuff is all bought and packed and I assume the same with lots of other people.

Chris25 · 23 November 2017 at 10:14AM

Lolu wrote: »

Why would it be too late? You’re making a gross assumption that he’s done and dusted with Christmas shopping! Bit presumptuous- not sure where you got that from! It’s a candle, it’s not an item with her name engraved on it! He could give it to a neighbour for example & get her what she wants! Just an ‘assumption’ but if I had a spare candle I’m sure I could find someone to give it to without any drama

But it is an expensive one & perhaps cost more than he would spend on a neighbour.

Maybe you could mention something like how busy the shops already are and ask if he has found that whilst he's been Christmas shopping. If he tells you he hasn't started, then pounce! If he says he's got everything already wrapped, then suggest some time next year, well before Christmas, that you'd like pyjamas.

Or go down the road of a buying challenge for a certain amount.

It can be tricky but, hopefully, this Christmas, if not next, they'll be a pair of cosy pyjamas with your name on under the tree

NineDeuce · 23 November 2017 at 10:25AM

This has got to be a wind up....

[Deleted User] · 23 November 2017 at 11:38AM

Most people would love to receive Jo Malone at Christmas and they have lots of different scents to try. I'm amazed someone would choose Yankee candles over Jo Malone tbh.

If you really don't want one and assuming they haven't bought it already I'd just open up a discussion along the lines of ' have you guys had any thoughts about what you'd like for Christmas ' and hope it opens a conversation both ways.

I am also in the camp of not risking upsetting brother for the sake of what most people would consider a very nice gift, at least he has taste lol.

wunferall · 23 November 2017 at 7:42PM

C_J wrote: »

Ha ha ha ha! I hadn't thought of that. You're very lucky they're not giving you Baylis and Harding sets

Aw, Baylis & Harding do some very nice sets IMHO. In fact I'm quite partial to a black pepper one they do and I'd rather have that than a few pairs of socks or some useless but amusing character slippers.

suejb2 · 23 November 2017 at 8:40PM

My brother and sister in law got to the Baylis and Harding stage a few years back. One day November time I simply asked s.i.l if she would be offended if we didn't get each other presents anymore, she agreed. Job done and both felt relieved not to have to get the obligatory present anymore.

Just talk about it.

Nice way of saying no thanks?

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