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  • FIRST POST
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 10th Nov 17, 11:39 AM
    • 1,398Posts
    • 6,761Thanks
    MeandO
    MeandO's mortgage-free musings
    • #1
    • 10th Nov 17, 11:39 AM
    MeandO's mortgage-free musings 10th Nov 17 at 11:39 AM
    *sneaks in from DFW board*

    Hello, I'm MeandO, I'm thirty something just and I'm a mortgage-free wannabe.

    To cut the backstory short, things kind of went like this:

    2008: Married, mortgage free.
    2011: Mini MeandO arrived.
    2013: Moved house > £60K mortgage with (now ex) husband.
    2013, later: Life went a bit pear shaped.
    2015: Single, £102K mortgage to buy ex out of house.
    2017: Moved area to a £30K cheaper house to enable me to go P/T to be around for Mini MeandO and eradicate need for childcare.

    Mortgage now: £78789.15

    So, last year I moved from a new build to an old house which needed a bit of work, mostly decorative and now 70% done. The rest will be tackled as and when (and if!) I can afford it. I went P/T at work which has increased our quality of life tenfold, but has obviously had financial implications. I also have a small business I run from home which has greatly helped to build up some savings in the past few months, but I will be closing this down soon for a variety of reasons. Hopefully one day I will be able to develop that income source again, but not right now.

    DS's Dad and I still get on well depsite being (almost) divorced and he does his fair share of parenting, so I live alone with my little boy for half the week and DS spends half the week with his Dad.
    I have a lovely man in tow now, we don't live together but are only a short walk from each other which is lovely. Hopefully one day we will 'combine households', but I don't see that happening imminently.

    My mortgage deal is fixed but expires in May 2018, so I am trying to overpay as much as possible before that date. With long term goals in mind, if I can manage to knock at least 10 years off the mortgage (currently 24 years left to run ) then I will be ecstatic.
    I'm not in the position to overpay in large chunks, apart from last year with funds from the sale of the old house, but I frequently throw pennies/pounds/chocolate buttons at the online mortgage account to reduce it by what I can. Every penny counts and all that...
    Link to my old thread for those interested:

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5650914&page=16

    Feel free to drop by for a virtual cuppa and cake, I'd pull up a chair though, I think I'll be here some time...

    M
    X
    Last edited by MeandO; 11-01-2018 at 1:42 PM.
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
Page 9
    • selloptape
    • By selloptape 6th Mar 18, 7:10 PM
    • 457 Posts
    • 1,881 Thanks
    selloptape
    Hi MeandO! Just popped in to see how you!!!8217;re doing and accidentally hit the spam button... Sorry!!! I have unspammed you straight away but just wanted to say soz in case you get a notification

    Sounds like you!!!8217;re having a really productive day, hope the prints look fab when they arrive x
    GC May £235.52/£290 GC April £240.65/£300March £322.53/£350
    £2 Savers Club #59 £58
    MFW 2018 #49 £600/£3,000
    MFiT T4 #21 - reduce mortgage by £20k over 3 years
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 7th Mar 18, 9:50 AM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    Lol!!! Don't worry sellotape, I've done the same myself before - it's too close to the other buttons isn't it!

    Wellies were purchased... after a stressful march around 3 shops and drive to a different out of town shopping area as none had DS's size plus I had OH's child, who wanted to tag along, running riot around every shop. It was a stressful experience. £11 later on wellies and £9ish in Asda on groceries (not that I got everything I needed as I just gave up), we finally went home. I didn't even bother looking for the £4 gift card I have, it was just too much hassle and I wanted to get out of there asap.

    Once DS was in bed, I had a shower and then sat in my bed and read a book for two hours and chilled out a bit. I'm so rock n roll - in bed before 8pm!
    Last edited by MeandO; 08-03-2018 at 9:31 AM.
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 8th Mar 18, 10:01 AM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    Is it Friday yet?
    Saying that, I don't know why I'm waiting for the weekend, I have nothing planned and no doubt will be the same old 'waiting for Monday' scenario.

    As my less than enthusiastic posts may suggest, I'm feeling really miserable at the moment. I've had a really 'down' week this week, for no particular reason, but (without wanting to sound overly dramatic) just because of life as it is really.

    I find the whole 'life' shebang a really lonely affair. I think I'm chatty and friendly and people seem to like talking to me. I've really tried to form friendships with people over the years, but most people here are from this area and no-one seems interested in wanting a new friend. I don't have any friends here that I can call or meet with and I've lost touch with my few good friends in the area I'm from due to distance and their lives moving on so I literally have no-one I can even phone for a chat, other than my Mum and Dad or OH. My family are all over 3 hours away too and my Mum's health is so bad that they can't really come to visit these days. I don't hear from my siblings either who all stil llive near my parents.
    My work colleagues are an odd bunch and no-one socialises with anyone else out of work.
    I sometimes wonder if there's something wrong with me.

    OH doesn't live far away, but has issues of his own to deal with and I can't ever see us being any more than we are now. He has made it clear he won't commit to anything more serious.

    I don't know why this is all affecting me so much this week and causing so many tears, sometimes it just seems to hit me like a bus. I just thought life would be a lot different. It's such a struggle doing it all alone. and I feel like I'm running out of energy for it all. DS is literally the only reason I get up in the morning and I feel bad as I've been miserable, grumpy Mum this week and he is a ray of sunshine as usual.

    I need to find some motivation to cheer myself up a bit.

    It's certainly not coming from the finances, I haven't even been able to reach my £100 OP target yet and looks unlikely that I will.
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • spendinglikemad
    • By spendinglikemad 8th Mar 18, 11:10 AM
    • 287 Posts
    • 1,634 Thanks
    spendinglikemad
    MeandO - I sometimes feel exactly the same re friendship and I wondered whats wrong with me too, see people on TV with lots of friends and wonder what I am doing wrong!!!
    My life revolves around my kids and hubby (and work) and we are soon to get a dog so I guess I don't have too much time for friends in real life - happy to come on here and be your virtual pal (PM me!!!!)

    SLM
    Family of 4 plus cat & pup!
    • selloptape
    • By selloptape 8th Mar 18, 8:17 PM
    • 457 Posts
    • 1,881 Thanks
    selloptape
    Oh no! Sorry to hear you are feeling blue MeandO

    It!!!8217;s so tough being a single parent sometimes. Have you joined any online parent groups? I used to be in a single parents support group on Facebook which was really chatty and they used to have social meets too. x
    GC May £235.52/£290 GC April £240.65/£300March £322.53/£350
    £2 Savers Club #59 £58
    MFW 2018 #49 £600/£3,000
    MFiT T4 #21 - reduce mortgage by £20k over 3 years
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 8th Mar 18, 9:57 PM
    • 1,524 Posts
    • 4,827 Thanks
    MrsSave
    MeandO I found this diary recently and have been meaning to say hello (but I'm generally useless at stuff like that - in real life too!!). What you said today about friends/moving to a new area etc, really rang true with me. I have a few friends that I've kept in touch with since school, but we only meet once or twice a year. I have people I say hello to around here, but no close friends. I feel I've tried, but a lot of people where I live have a,ways lived around here, so friends' groups are set. They don't want an outsider, especially one like me who can get pretty nervous with new people and isn't one for lots of small talk!!

    I tried baby groups when the boys (particularly the eldest) was small, but everyone knew everyone and it would be a bit of polite chat, and then home. I stopped going pretty quickly. I'm lucky I have my mum nearby, but otherwise I'm not a big one for socialising. I wish I had someone to pick up the phone to sometimes for a chat, or could meet for a random glass of wine.

    I work with 2 women who are both lovely, but in their 50s with no children and totally different lives to me.

    Sorry for the whine, I just want you to know you're not alone. I'm open to messages, but will admit there are days when I'm totally crap at responding (now I wonder why I feel lonely ).
    Mortgage Overpayment (May): £10.86/£20
    Accounts Skim: May - £35.92
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 9th Mar 18, 12:42 PM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    Thank you ALM, Sellotape and MrsSave, it saddens me to hear other people feel the same, I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone.

    MrsSave, you and I sound very similar - I don't have a lot of confidence with new people, but have forced myself to fake the confidence over the years. I've had the same issue with the baby groups too and, now, it's the same with the school Mums who all pretty much know each other and have their friendship groups. I just hope it doesn't rub off on DS too as we don't have friends here we get to socialise with out of school.
    Last edited by MeandO; 09-03-2018 at 2:46 PM.
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 9th Mar 18, 12:44 PM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    Today I've switched one of the sub accounts on my mortgage as the current deal runs out in May and there's no early repayment charge f or switching it for three months beforehand.
    It's the largest sub account I have and has now gone from 3.39% to 2.19% so will help a little. I think it will reduce my minimum mortgage payment by around £20 a month, but I will be keeping it to what it is presently and so will be overpaying an extra £20ish a month.
    Last edited by MeandO; 09-03-2018 at 12:47 PM.
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 9th Mar 18, 2:48 PM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    My wonderful Mum sent me a lovely card yesterday (which made me cry when I opened it) and she had included £10, so I have paid that off the mortgage.

    Under £11.56 to find to reach this month!!!8217;s target now.
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 10th Mar 18, 6:27 AM
    • 1,524 Posts
    • 4,827 Thanks
    MrsSave
    Thank you ALM, Sellotape and MrsSave, it saddens me to hear other people feel the same, I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone.

    MrsSave, you and I sound very similar - I don't have a lot of confidence with new people, but have forced myself to fake the confidence over the years. I've had the same issue with the baby groups too and, now, it's the same with the school Mums who all pretty much know each other and have their friendship groups. I just hope it doesn't rub off on DS too as we don't have friends here we get to socialise with out of school.
    Originally posted by MeandO

    That's one of my worries, my downfalls rubbing off on my children. Particularly my eldest as he is very quiet around new people, but thankfully settles pretty quickly. I always try to make sure he answers people when they talk to him instead of talking for him, which my mother always did (and still can do) for me.

    I agree, we do sound pretty similar. And the funny thing is, living so near (I think we do anyway), we've probably walked past each other when out and about at some point

    Well done on almost reaching your mortgage overpayment target this month. I've started trying, would love to get the mortgage paid off sooner than 19 years!!
    Mortgage Overpayment (May): £10.86/£20
    Accounts Skim: May - £35.92
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • gallygirl
    • By gallygirl 10th Mar 18, 9:43 AM
    • 16,589 Posts
    • 109,553 Thanks
    gallygirl
    I agree, we do sound pretty similar. And the funny thing is, living so near (I think we do anyway), we've probably walked past each other when out and about at some point
    Originally posted by MrsSave
    Why don't you arrange to go on a 'date' to a coffee shop if you think you live nearby? I've made very good friends in real life from MSE. Barking mad, but good friends nevertheless . It was lovely to be able to discuss plans, TillyTidies, extreme couponing etc. without people thinking we were crazy .
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
    Mortgage Balance = £0
    "Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 10th Mar 18, 11:32 AM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    That's one of my worries, my downfalls rubbing off on my children. Particularly my eldest as he is very quiet around new people, but thankfully settles pretty quickly. I always try to make sure he answers people when they talk to him instead of talking for him, which my mother always did (and still can do) for me.

    I agree, we do sound pretty similar. And the funny thing is, living so near (I think we do anyway), we've probably walked past each other when out and about at some point

    Well done on almost reaching your mortgage overpayment target this month. I've started trying, would love to get the mortgage paid off sooner than 19 years!!
    Originally posted by MrsSave
    My boy is exactly the same MrsSave. He is a polite, adorable little chap and everyone loves him, but he is so quiet with new people, I hope he finds his confidence soon.
    X
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 10th Mar 18, 11:35 AM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    Why don't you arrange to go on a 'date' to a coffee shop if you think you live nearby? I've made very good friends in real life from MSE. Barking mad, but good friends nevertheless . It was lovely to be able to discuss plans, TillyTidies, extreme couponing etc. without people thinking we were crazy .
    Originally posted by gallygirl
    What a lovely idea gallygirl, although I think weíre in the same part of the country but not Close iykwim. You made me smile with your description of discussions - I wonder what people think if they overhear, perhaps a difference language!
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 10th Mar 18, 11:38 AM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    I felt quite positive this morning but it rapidly went downhill - shopping trip, argument with OH over the phone whilst trying to do said shopping trip (we never argue) £30 over my budget so had to transfer money, card declined I one shop (even though there was money in there so no idea why) so I gave up, then got home to find i!!!8217;d been overcharged by £2 as the lady put something through twice.
    Cried into my crumpets today!
    Last edited by MeandO; 10-03-2018 at 11:54 AM.
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • selloptape
    • By selloptape 10th Mar 18, 11:52 AM
    • 457 Posts
    • 1,881 Thanks
    selloptape
    Oh no - have a dodgy looking hug from me -

    Sometimes I find going for a walk helps shift my mood if Iím feeling blue, might help? x
    GC May £235.52/£290 GC April £240.65/£300March £322.53/£350
    £2 Savers Club #59 £58
    MFW 2018 #49 £600/£3,000
    MFiT T4 #21 - reduce mortgage by £20k over 3 years
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 10th Mar 18, 11:53 AM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    Dodgy hug taken and much appreciated sellotape!

    Yeah, I was thinking of taking DS for a walk around the local wildlife sanctuary place today when heís back from his dadís, but itís bucketing down here now unfortunately. !!!128532;
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 10th Mar 18, 6:36 PM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    I listed an item on gumtree last night and a lady came to collect it today, so thatís £10 in my purse. Iíll use that for something else and transfer £10 as another mortgage overpayment. Iíll add the extra £1 odd from the Diy pot to make it up to the £100 target for this month.
    I very much doubt thereíll be any extra effort overpayments this month as the bank account is looking brassic.

    I had a free credit from sky, so I purchased Paddington 2 which DS and I have just watched. We should get the dvd posted to us free of charge too.
    Weíve had quite a nice afternoon of playing, doing some crafts and chilling out.

    Iím still upset about the argument with OH this morning, but he seems to have swept it under the rug as has been Ďokí with me since. However, Iím really not feeling good about things at the moment.

    DS will be off to his sporting event with his Dad just after 9.15am tomorrow and then, iíve been informed, he is being taken out with the ex and exís girlfriend and her family for a motherís day Meal. Iím not big on Mothers Day, but it did hurt that DS was spending Motherís Day with Ďother mothersí tbh. So, Iíll either be on my own or will see OH if things are ok between us.

    So fed up.
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 10th Mar 18, 6:42 PM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    £11.56 paid to the mortgage, so £100 op completed this month.
    Mortgage now at £77,277.44
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 12th Mar 18, 9:43 AM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    Thankfully I has a couple of extra hours with DS yesterday as his sporting event was cancelled. We had such a lovely morning, just snuggling, watching films, eating toast and playing games. I was gutted when he left. He (and his Dad) spoilt me with a mother's day cake and flowers and DS had made lots of lovely cards for me.

    OH went out of his way to make sure I had a lovely afternoon yesterday too. We had lots of laughs and he cooked me a lovely meal, all is well.

    Unfortunately my wonderful Mum was in too much pain and was too poorly to speak to yesterday so Mother's Day greetings had to be passed on via my Dad.

    No money saving wins unfortunately. Am counting down until payday now, unfortunately it's almost 2 weeks away.
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 12th Mar 18, 5:06 PM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 6,761 Thanks
    MeandO
    DS has a club after school on Mondays so I had a bit more time after getting home from work today.
    I managed to get a load of washing done and in the dryer and the second load is now in the washing machine. Downstairs has been hoovered through and iíve given the bathroom a quick wipe down.

    I also managed to find some hardboard that I already had to fix a bit of flooring I needed to replace. I was going to pay the handyman nearly £120 to do this with materials and labour, so iíve saved myself a lot of money in about 10 minutes! I just need to cut two pieces of the board once I find my jigsaw and then I can patch up a bit of skirting board and attempt to lay the vinyl flooring. All in all that will be around £300 saved in materials and labour. I canítvouch For how good the flooringís going to look, but Iíll give it my best shot!

    Iíve also sanded down the rest of my bargain table and now itís ready for waxing (the top) and painting (the legs). I have to buy both though so might have to wait until next month.

    DS had cooked lunch at school so only wanted a wrap for tea. OH has bought some pizza/quiche to use up for us tonight. Iíll make a big tub of salad up for the week and weíll have some tonight too.

    I had confirmation of my new mortgage rate through the post today. The minimum payment will be dropping by just over £20 a month, so I will be upping my target opís to £120 a month from April so that I am overpaying that extra £20 a month. It will mean paying out the same amount as I do now but obviously clearing it that extra little bit quicker, thus reducing the interest paid too.
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000 Mortgage now: £76,535
    2018 OP's: J:£129.26 F:£287 M:£150 A:£157.31 M:£164.19 J:£0/£150
    Emergency Fund: £1000/£5000
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