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    • loopybecs
    • By loopybecs 4th Nov 17, 8:07 AM
    • 566Posts
    • 1,920Thanks
    loopybecs
    This Newly Single Mama Is On A Mission!!
    • #1
    • 4th Nov 17, 8:07 AM
    This Newly Single Mama Is On A Mission!! 4th Nov 17 at 8:07 AM
    I said that my last diary would be my last. But I was a different person back then...

    I had created it 12 months ago. I was a mum, with a partner of 7 years. 2 daughters who were just toddlers. A nice 3-bedroom house. And a fair bit of debt to clear.

    Fast-forward to now and I am a single mum to a 4 year old and a 2 year old, and am just about to move into a brand new apartment that I purchased. My ex bought me out of the family home. We used some of the equity to clear the credit card debt. We do however owe my parents a whopping £14.5K that I would like to clear asap!! Plus I am planning on making overpayments on my new mortgage... as I only have me to rely on now I want to be financially secure.

    Me and my ex are on good terms but it's been HARD. We split up over 9 months ago, I am in the family home while he is living with a relative until I move out. I bought a new build as I was told it would be ready to move in in June. I didn't get the keys until 18th October! And I've had to get new flooring, new furniture etc that I couldn't sort out prior to getting the keys because the builders kept moving the date out but I'm getting there and hopefully in a week's time I'll be living there and we can both get on with our lives!!

    So, the debt!! My new mortgage is £88,000. I did the Help To Buy Scheme which was £27,500. And I owe my parents £14,500 which is a joint debt with my ex.

    No other debt thankfully and I would like it to stay that way!

    In the past when trying to clear debt I have been too frugal and as such, I have made the debt worse by going crazy and shopping like mad So I am going to try and have a nice balance between clearing debt, saving, and treating myself. I need a life, otherwise what is the point? But I do not need ANOTHER pair of black high heels so its about being sensible Hopefully it works!

    I work in Accounts part-time (25 hours a week) and I also have a work from home business. Which has taken a back seat this year due to the stress but hopefully I can pick it up once I am in the flat. I do get tax credits too as I have agreed to pay for DD2s nursery fees (£780 a month!!!).

    I will try and keep up this diary as I have enjoyed writing them in the past. I am very easily distracted though so no promises!! xxx
    Last edited by loopybecs; 09-04-2018 at 9:06 AM. Reason: Trying to be more anonymous
    Mortgage: £88,000.00 £86,769.98
    Loan From Parents: £15,300.00 £15,200.00
    Total Savings: £400.00

    Single mama to 2 little girlies
Page 7
    • Lucifa73
    • By Lucifa73 18th Jun 18, 10:20 AM
    • 7,366 Posts
    • 9,353 Thanks
    Lucifa73
    Hope everything is okay at your end. Not seen you around for a few days and I miss your posts!
    Tesco CC 020718: £3502.86/030718: £3348.02 0.14%
    Surveys cashed £4.84/cleared £24.17/pending £4.87... (plus 500 YouGov points...)
    Don't give in; Don't you dare quit so easy
    Give all; That you got on the soul
    Snow Patrol. 'Don't give in'. 21.3.18
    • Kitten868
    • By Kitten868 28th Jun 18, 7:55 PM
    • 928 Posts
    • 1,987 Thanks
    Kitten868
    Come back! We miss you. Hope everything is all going ok? Xx
    Loan 1 £5800/£8000
    Loan 2 £3800/£5800
    Total £9600/£13800 30% PAID
    • loopybecs
    • By loopybecs 1st Jul 18, 4:15 PM
    • 566 Posts
    • 1,920 Thanks
    loopybecs
    *Walks in with my head down*

    Hello all! Iím so sorry for my absence. June well & truly kicked my a*** and I couldnít face writing the updates. There were also some things that I couldnít talk about at the time which made me not want to talk at all. But, Iím coming out the other side, so I will explain what happened if youíre interested Itís not all bad stuff luckily!

    So much has happened so Iíll try & separate it between MSE & non-MSE. Feel free to skip this bits youíre not bothered about!

    Non-MSE

    One of the biggest events was the moment I told Ex that I have a new partner. It was a horrible conversation and I had been dreading it for ages. It broke his heart What made it worse was that this man works with us. Theyíre not friends really but itís still hard as they obviously see each other most days. I donít make it easy for myself! Luckily they donít have to deal with each other too much so it wonít be a problem, hopefully.

    To make things more awkward my new partner is actually my new line manager! Itís M, if you are wondering... you may remember me mentioning him a few times. Weíve been good friends for years, so itís been challenging at times going from friends to partners. And colleagues, of course! But he treats me so well. Itís been really nice being with him the last 3 months or so. He is everything Iíve wanted in a partner I can see us having a great future together. I havenít felt this happy in a really long time. I just hope my ex will be ok. I try & talk to him as often as I can. We took the kids out today and he seemed a bit down at first but perked up later on. Itís to be expected I guess. Bless him

    M has not seen my kids since weíve been dating (heís met them a few times before but not for ages). And we wonít be introducing them again for a long time. Ex needs to digest the information first. No-one at work knows either, however we will have to tell the directors this week. Itís important that they know due to us both working in Finance. Not that we are the type of people to commit fraud, but with recent events there, that caused 2 people to be sacked due to money launderering (and subsequently one is now on the run!), they need to know everything and be able to trust us. M offered to tell the M.D. in his weekly meeting with him tomorrow.

    My dad left England this morning to start his new job in Latvia. He retired at 57, then worked in Malta for a year, then retired, and then got bored again Heís 59 now but clearly hates retirement so itís back to the grind for him in yet another country. I preferred it when he was in Dubai as I loved it there!! I will miss him but Iím so used to him being away that I know Iíll be ok.

    I finally have the car park fobs! It took a written complaint before I got them, and refusing to pay the service charge invoice. The woman who collected them in May hadnít done anything for FIVE WEEKS, so I went absolutely mental at her. The whole company is a joke! Still, itís so nice to be able to park in the car park again Unfortunately the leaky water pipe situation is still ongoing. The developer is on holiday until 5th July so Iíll be having words with him when he returns.

    DD1 is still getting on ok at breakfast club & with the childminder. She has done so well bless her! Unfortunately Iím not so impressed with the food theyíre both giving her. They are far from healthy and I donít really know what to do about it. She kept being picked on aswell by 2 kids in her class so me & Ex had to go into a meeting with her teacher about it as it was physical. Luckily the main thug, a boy, isnít in her class when they go into year 1 in September. So only 3 more weeks of putting up with him. DD1 refuses to fight back because she knows the teachers will tell her off. Iíd love her to give him a massive slap!

    DD2ís speech is improving every day and she chats so much now which is lovely as she was quite behind I had to have a meeting with the nursery manager a couple of weeks ago as one of the staff rang me telling me they wouldnít change her as they had no wipes! I was fuming and said Iíd collect her immediately as I wasnít going to allow them to not change her just because Ex forgot to pack some wipes! This woman then agreed to change her but I was already on the ceiling and ready to go down there! How dare they, the poor girl canít be left in a dirty nappy all day!

    MSE

    I got the best news in June! My M.D. gave me a letter stating that my salary was being increased by £3.5K a year!!! I was ecstatic!! It comes into effect today so tomorrow I need to contact HMRC and tell them so that they can reduce my tax credits. Will be interesting to see what the net amount extra will be!

    I bought a lot of new clothes in June, mostly for work. It was very much needed as I said before, as my clothes were all tatty and horrible, and I felt like as I had been promoted I really needed to make more of an effort with my appearance. Itís amazing what itís done to my confidence. I go into different departments to talk to my colleagues now, before I would hide at my desk and only talk on the phone! The total amount I spent was £334.05 Which seems insane! But I hadnít bought anything in about 3 years so I canít really complain and I got cash back where I could.

    I paid my first payment to my parents! I need to update my signature actually... it was only £100 but it should be more going forward.

    I should be getting £150 soon as Iíve switched to HSBC Theyíll give me another £50 this time next year too! I need to set up my online banking but I already have the debit card & pin etc. I donít really like HSBC but I couldnít resist this offer. Plus I get access to their 5% regular saver which is much better than my current savings account.

    The charity ball dress I wore just after I last came on here was great. I ended up putting it back on eBay and it sold for £15 plus postage. Meaning I only paid £2 for it! I also sold a Ted Baker dress for £51 I will try and Ebay more tonight as July is looking like a tight month. Iím still playing catch up for my work clothes purchases! And my day at the beach with M, day out in London with my mum, and other fun days out

    I think thatís it! Sorry it was such a long post and well done if you made it this far! Also, any Love Island fans here? If so what do you think to this yearís series? I prefer last yearís but I think itís getting better now. Megan, Wes, Adam & Josh need to set up their own snake camp though!!!
    Mortgage: £88,000.00 £86,769.98
    Loan From Parents: £15,300.00 £15,200.00
    Total Savings: £400.00

    Single mama to 2 little girlies
    • monz
    • By monz 2nd Jul 18, 10:23 AM
    • 3,234 Posts
    • 10,507 Thanks
    monz
    Wow what a change!!

    And you sound so happy and well deserved love!xx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house pot for bobs after fees : 169.41
    car PCP - 628.97/11848.25 (0 overpayment) mum and dad 500/£4,000
    boys bday 0/300 Christmas - 0/500
    • loopybecs
    • By loopybecs 2nd Jul 18, 7:30 PM
    • 566 Posts
    • 1,920 Thanks
    loopybecs
    Thank you I am happy but itís far from plain sailing whilst Ex is hurting Iíve been trying to find a therapist for him today to see if talking to one will help him. We were texting last night & he said heís reluctant to talk to me as he thinks Iím going to tell M what heís been saying. I told him that whatever he says to me wonít be broadcasted to anyone, and I think he believed me, so hopefully he will keep talking to me. He doesnít have anyone else to talk to, so although I am the Ďwrongí person, Iím all he has. A therapist would be better though. In the last couple of weeks heís majorly hinted that he was suicidal in March/April time, and I refuse to let him sink that low again. Iíve told M to stay away from me in work time, except when absolutely necessary, as even just seeing us next to each other at work could set Ex off. Itís a really horrible situation

    If I had a magic wand I would take away Exís pain straight away. I absolutely hate seeing him like this. But leaving M wouldnít be the answer, as my head & heart would still be with him.

    Anyway moving on to MSE things! All my direct debits went out today. I didnít ebay anything last night as I was too distracted by Exís texts. I need to though as I donít have much money this month to play with Thereís not much else to report, itís all fairly boring!

    My kids are driving me up the wall today. This morning they were constantly fighting, then since I picked them up from nursery/school theyíve been little brats. Especially DD2. Iím looking forward to them going to sleep and having some peace. Theyíre in bed but still awake and shouting for me for attention They would be amazing contraception! Iíd definitely loan them out to teenagers for a week at a time... theyíd stop teenage pregnancy in a heartbeat!

    Iím going to have a nice shower now & hopefully when Iím finished theyíll at least be quiet. Otherwise they may make my eBay listing later!
    Mortgage: £88,000.00 £86,769.98
    Loan From Parents: £15,300.00 £15,200.00
    Total Savings: £400.00

    Single mama to 2 little girlies
    • Kitten868
    • By Kitten868 2nd Jul 18, 7:48 PM
    • 928 Posts
    • 1,987 Thanks
    Kitten868
    You're back! And all out in the open now! And breathe out! It all sounds positive and i know what you mean about clothes, you go without for so long when you do replace them it's expensive - you're not just topping up.
    Glad you're happy with some one
    And devastated about people doing money laundering at your work. I know how devastating it is to have people smash your trust like that in such a small team. Really throws you and make a you feel devastated.

    Also sorry about dd1 getting bullied. That's awful. Well done for sticking up for her.

    We'll help you get through tight July xxx
    Loan 1 £5800/£8000
    Loan 2 £3800/£5800
    Total £9600/£13800 30% PAID
    • loopybecs
    • By loopybecs 6th Jul 18, 7:50 PM
    • 566 Posts
    • 1,920 Thanks
    loopybecs
    Thank you Yes, work was so difficult last month when it all came out what these 2 salesmen were doing. I can't say much because the police are involved, but it's sad... one of the guys used to sleep round mine & Ex's old house all the time! We were good friends with him. And now he's ran away somewhere leaving behind his wife, baby and his 3 grown up children. And I had to deal with irate customers due to the situation. I nearly walked out one day because it was so stressful.

    "Tight July" is going strong but of course it's now the weekend which usually makes things more difficult! Luckily it's set to be a cheap one. Tomorrow I may be going round my mum's with the girls for a paddling pool session, and then maybe seeing Ex with the girls after that at a park or something. Sunday is my child-free day and I said to M I'd look round a house that he likes with him and maybe look at some cars too. He's been saving hard for an Audi A5... not a new one of course, but he has put away enough money to get one now his savings will probably buy him one that's around 6-years-old. We are going to do a chicken tikka masala in the slow cooker too before we leave I've not used my slow cooker yet so I'm excited! He's a pretty good cook but this will be the first time I taste his cooking.

    DD1 needs new plimsoles as hers gave her a blister on her right foot today I nearly cried when I saw it! Poor little love had to wear them at school all day for Values Day so I felt so guilty & awful. They aren't expensive luckily. Hopefully her foot will be better by Monday for sports day. Me & Ex have the day off for it

    Speaking of Ex, he's still not good really. He's utterly heartbroken actually and it's killing me seeing him so upset. I gave him a big hug today when he cried. Sometimes I wonder if backing off will help him but I can't do that, it's against my nature. I also question myself and wonder if this is the right path to take. He says the problems in our relationship were fixable but I disagree. If it was fixable then it would've been fixed. After having the children we were no longer compatible... he wanted to stay in night after night, he made no effort, there wasn't much affection with me, and despite having a million chats with him about it, it didn't improve. I was 29 and didn't want that to be my life. Yes, we had kids together and that's the reason why I fought harder & for longer, but neither of us were happy. I wanted it to work so badly which is why it cuts deep now when he pours his heart out to me

    I know breaks up aren't ever easy but this seems to be so much harder than I imagined Ex & M had their first proper conversation about everything yesterday. Which was just nerve wracking but it needed to be done. Ex felt better afterwards, but then seems to have taken 5 big steps backwards today. I do feel for him.

    Back onto money talk... I have £10.33 payable in my TCB account and a further £13.60 pending. I'm tempted to withdraw it but I also think I should keep saving it until Christmas time. It'll be much more valuable then!

    Thanks everyone who reads though my posts, even when it's got nothing to do with saving money! I'm aware I waffle on
    Mortgage: £88,000.00 £86,769.98
    Loan From Parents: £15,300.00 £15,200.00
    Total Savings: £400.00

    Single mama to 2 little girlies
    • loopybecs
    • By loopybecs 15th Jul 18, 8:17 PM
    • 566 Posts
    • 1,920 Thanks
    loopybecs
    I'm being so inconsistent in updating this diary at the moment! I'm now officially with HSBC but I can't access my account online yet as I'm still waiting for them to send me the details. The switch happened on 10th, so a week ago tomorrow, and not knowing my balance is driving me crazy! I'm having to go to the cashpoint to print it out which is really annoying. If I get no joy by 19th then I'll go into the branch when I do the work banking and ask them if they can set me up while I'm there.

    Things with Ex are still very much up & down but he FINALLY went to the doctors this week and has been prescribed antidepressants. Hopefully they kick in soon and he will be feeling much brighter.

    To help his mood I sugggested that we book Disneyland Paris for next year with the kids. I can hear some of you gasping I'm aware it's very expensive, but you'll be pleased to know that I've been researching hard in keeping the costs down and have booked a 4* hotel which is 10 minutes from the park. It is by a supermarket & a shopping mall so unlike the super expensive Disney hotels we can buy our snacks & drinks there and take them with us. We are going during the Easter holidays for 4 nights and not planning on telling the girls until Christmas The hotel cost £435.52 which is brilliant... the 2* Disney hotels were a lot more expensive! It has a bus service just outside which takes you to the parks for free

    I need to book the park tickets for the 3 full days that we are there, the flight & transfer/Eurostar (not decided which one yet as neither options have released tickets), and the princess lunch. That last one will not be MSE at all but hell am I going all the way to DLP with my girls and not meet the princesses! Apparently I can only book 60 days in advance so I've got to wait. Gives me time to save! I'm already very excited I've never been before and I can't wait to experience the magic!

    M has been very understanding about me going to DLP with my ex, but obviously it's very hard for him too. So I'm looking at holidays for us so we can have something to look forward to. Our favourite film is The Hangover and we are dying to go to Las Vegas... we've both been before with our exes but we really want to go next year. We found an amazing deal the other day for M's birthday in October. 6 nights, staying on the strip, £478 each!! Including flights!! It's too soon to go this October, but certainly next October is a must!!! I'm not booking anything yet though as the relationship is still fairly new.

    The developer & Anglian Water have now found out where the leak is & the plumber is coming on 18th to isolate the pipe work The developer also went through the snags and is going to sort those out too I never ever thought the developer would be almost perfect at keeping me up to date with what's going on! So much better than the management company.

    DD1 has 5 more days left at Reception I can't believe she's going into year 1 soon! I'm so proud of her though. She did amazingly in her sports day this week, and her school report makes me want to burst with pride! She's had a great year and has learnt so much. She enjoys writing & being creative, but maths is her strongest area. Maybe she's set to follow me and be an accountant?!

    DD2 is in a private nursery so they will be open during the summer holidays. She won't be there every day though... I want to spend more time with her so when I'm off she will be off too Her speech is getting better every day and she's using the toilet more at nursery. Still not interested at home though! We persevere...

    I must say I am loving this weather we are having!! No cold temperatures or rain for weeks For the first time in years I'm actually getting a tan which is saving money on spray tans!!! Yay
    Mortgage: £88,000.00 £86,769.98
    Loan From Parents: £15,300.00 £15,200.00
    Total Savings: £400.00

    Single mama to 2 little girlies
    • loopybecs
    • By loopybecs 17th Jul 18, 8:24 PM
    • 566 Posts
    • 1,920 Thanks
    loopybecs
    There's me saying how much I'm loving the hot weather & then I get sick I've not actually been sick but I've been VERY nauseous and yesterday I almost passed out at work. Very embarrassing. My vision went completely the office was unbearable and I got quite ill. It's been a bit cooler today but I'm still not well. Luckily I have the next 2 days off

    Still no internet banking info from HSBC so I went into my local branch today, to be told I have to go back in next week with photographic ID and a proof of address document before they can give me the details to set me up What a ballache! I'm not amused. He said it's because I applied for the account online. I sent off a form though for internet banking and it said once received I'd be set up!! Should've know that it wasn't going to be a simple task.

    Not much else to report due to the poorlyness. Hopefully it won't ruin the annual leave I've booked! Fingers crossed x
    Mortgage: £88,000.00 £86,769.98
    Loan From Parents: £15,300.00 £15,200.00
    Total Savings: £400.00

    Single mama to 2 little girlies
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