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  • FIRST POST
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 19th Oct 17, 8:40 PM
    • 211Posts
    • 965Thanks
    Scrimps
    The Plan
    • #1
    • 19th Oct 17, 8:40 PM
    The Plan 19th Oct 17 at 8:40 PM
    Ive called this 'The Plan'...because im terrible for constantly planning financials things, goals, spending etc. This habit followed my 20's of constant overspending with little thought to what I was doing and little enjoyment gained from doing so, I never want to be so wasteful again - I worked very hard and had nothing to show for it. I think working that hard was a mistake also, I would like to live with more intention, peace and play in my life.
    The constant planning does seem to work for us as we have done well paying down debt and getting ourselves into a much less precarious position than previously, to be honest we couldve done it faster but I am happy with where we are.
    We were in debt, not a huge amount but enough to cause us constant angst and limiting our options. We took massive pay cuts to move to the south west, our debt was probably equal to one persons salary.
    We paid it all off, had a good couple of years of holidays and now we're expecting our first child with only the mortgage debt. In anticipation of expecting our first child, we have fixed for 5 years but we borrowed an additional 14,000 in order to get a driveway done (terrible parking in our area) and external wall insulation which has made a massive difference to the comfort of the house.

    Todays totals:
    Mortgage 1: 123,000
    Mortgage 2: 12,500

    I can overpay just under 15k without penalty each year - year ending 30th April
    So far we have overpaid 5,700
    The aim is to overpay 12k each year, so 6,300 to be paid before May 18.
    6k a year should be very doable even when I go on maternity leave in just over a month, 12k a year will be a lot of focus and effort but I think will be possible.

    We're motivated to do this as we want to pay down the mortgage as much as possible before the kid is old enough to realise it is going without

    We both have a very strong desire to work part time, me in particular. I find that the more I get paid the more I suffer from 'neverbloodyhappyitis'. I did have a menial/poorly paid job when we first moved down which I rather enjoyed but because we were in debt I was often working 7 day weeks, rarely anything less than 6 days a week.
    I am now fairly well paid again, less than before we moved but doing OK, it has been a slog to get here and I am grateful for it. The bosses seem consistently pleased with the work I produce but I find it stressful, I cant stand the corporate nonsense that goes with it and feeling trapped in my job for the higher salary.

    I would like the option of having a menial/low paid/doing job that I actually enjoy doing again or going very part time so the corporate nonsense has less affect on my life. Im not particularly high up, I could really throw myself at it and get a career going again, I wanted one once but Im not sure Im cut out for it anymore....at the ripe old age of 35 Im disillusioned and burnt out by work

    I will do our SOA over the next couple of days and outline my plan. The above is just the reasoning and current status.

    I will be using this diary to keep on track but will not intend to update every day, I will endevour to keep updating because these boards are so helpful!

    Scrimps
Page 3
    • VDOT47
    • By VDOT47 17th Jan 18, 12:12 PM
    • 157 Posts
    • 498 Thanks
    VDOT47
    A car journey (which little one will probably sleep through most of!) will certainly be a lot easier than a flight in my opinion! And you can take everything you need with you, rather than having to worry about luggage allowances etc.


    We did our first flight with DD when she was 11 months old, and she coped ok, but I wouldn't have liked to have done one much sooner than that!
    Original Mortgage (Feb '17) 269,995
    Current Mortgage (03/09/18) 242,217
    End Date June 2040 Original End Date February 2042
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 17th Jan 18, 5:22 PM
    • 1,663 Posts
    • 8,373 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    Congratulations on your new arrival.

    One of the things that saved me in the early days was a sling. I went to a sling library and got fitted and taught properly. There is nothing better than hands free sling snuggles.

    Hiring from a library is very mse as you cAn try lots of different types before you commit to buying.
    They will also fit you and baby properly following all the ticks guidelines (no crotch dangling, narrow based carriers)

    It has saved my sanity on more times than I can remember over the last 18 months.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = 400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s 34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 1600ish/2,500
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 18th Jan 18, 5:58 PM
    • 211 Posts
    • 965 Thanks
    Scrimps

    p.s. I just set myself a no cosmetics and no new clothes challenge! I'm not sure my DH thinks its possible but I am going to try.
    Originally posted by *little.squirrel*
    Good luck with this, I think there are challenges on the debt free wannabe board. i was going to join them but Im not really very good at posting regularly on the challenges board. I do need to update on this actually:

    I have spent my advantage card points on mascara - needed. Eye shadow - not really needed and baby bits. For various reason Boots is on the list of places I no longer wish to shop so now I dont have any points I can stop going in there. The only imminent expence is I really need some razor blades. I may get some swagbuck amazon vouchers to buy these though so I dont have to buy them out of cashflow.

    I have bought clothes, very easy to rationalise: My non-maternity wear doesnt fit me and my maternity trousers all have an underbump seam where my c-section wound is and its still a bit uncomfortable and irritated by the seams. So i bought some high waisted leggings from M&S @ 9.50 to tide me over until Im properly healed and/or can fit into my non maternity clothes. I also bought some giant high waisted granny pants for the above reasons - theyre outrageously ugly and outrageously comfortable .

    I could do with dropping the weight really and sorting through my clothes. I put all my non-maternity stuff away about 6 months ago, it'll probably be another month before i contemplate being able to try them on but there is only so long I am willing to cycle through 1 pair of leggings and 1 pair of yoga pants for outfits.
    MFW: May 17: 143,000 o/s. Oct 17: 135,090 o/s. End Nov:133,588 Mid March 131,490.18
    OP Target 12k by end May 18. As @ end March 18: 8,170.48
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 18th Jan 18, 6:03 PM
    • 211 Posts
    • 965 Thanks
    Scrimps
    Congratulations on your new arrival.

    One of the things that saved me in the early days was a sling. I went to a sling library and got fitted and taught properly. There is nothing better than hands free sling snuggles.

    Hiring from a library is very mse as you cAn try lots of different types before you commit to buying.
    They will also fit you and baby properly following all the ticks guidelines (no crotch dangling, narrow based carriers)

    It has saved my sanity on more times than I can remember over the last 18 months.
    Originally posted by wishingthemortgaheaway
    Thats a good idea, I'll look into a sling library. I bought a wilkinet sling on recommendation for 5 total cost from ebay which works for me but DH finds it quite uncomfortable on the shoulders.

    I was thinking we could do with finding another one but loathe to spend money on something and it not work out. especially want to get another before our holiday to northumbria where we hope to be out and about a lot and not in places which are particularly pram friendly.
    MFW: May 17: 143,000 o/s. Oct 17: 135,090 o/s. End Nov:133,588 Mid March 131,490.18
    OP Target 12k by end May 18. As @ end March 18: 8,170.48
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 18th Jan 18, 6:22 PM
    • 1,663 Posts
    • 8,373 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    Thats a good idea, I'll look into a sling library. I bought a wilkinet sling on recommendation for 5 total cost from ebay which works for me but DH finds it quite uncomfortable on the shoulders.

    I was thinking we could do with finding another one but loathe to spend money on something and it not work out. especially want to get another before our holiday to northumbria where we hope to be out and about a lot and not in places which are particularly pram friendly.
    Originally posted by Scrimps
    Wilkinet is not a brand I'm familiar with (and I do the admin for our sling library, so know a lot of brands) but take it along with you to the library and, if it meets the tics guidelines, the peer supporters and consultants at the library will help you (and hubby) get a good fit.

    Hubby and I have our own slings, He doesn't like mine, I don't like his, but then we don't wear each other's shoes, so it's not unreasonable that we don't wear each orher's slings.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = 400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s 34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 1600ish/2,500
    • TwentySomethingGirl
    • By TwentySomethingGirl 19th Jan 18, 9:05 AM
    • 177 Posts
    • 402 Thanks
    TwentySomethingGirl
    Hi

    Congratulations on the birth if your son. I had mine mid December and we had to stay in for a week because he was jaundice and had an infection so I'm right there with you on the car parking charges. We stocked up on M&S ready meals for when we got home. Not cheap but so much easier and meant we could eat separately and both actually have a hot dinner. No guilt on that one at all!

    With the breast feeding, please try not to be too harsh on yourself. It doesn't work for everyone no matter how many people say how natural it is. My sister struggled and got the perfect prep machine for the bottles and she wouldn't be without it now. They also do a similar thing for weaning that steams and blends the food which I think she is going to get when the time comes.

    I hope you're settling into life with the baby. How did you find the mum and baby group? I've not been to any yet but thinking about going. Being in a room full of new people and babies isn't my idea of a good time though, so I'm a bit hesitant to do it...
    Mortgage 126746 DEC14 122423.53 DEC15 115041.70 DEC16 Remortgaged Sep17 to pay off HtB loan 150000
    MFW2018 #85 0/500
    MFW2017 2633.7/2500
    MFW2016 3614.63/2500
    MFW2015 811.60/1200
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 19th Jan 18, 9:08 AM
    • 211 Posts
    • 965 Thanks
    Scrimps
    It appears the Cornwall sling library closed back in August 2016.

    The wilkinet does meet the ticks requirements but we can go to a shop and spend some time trying new ones for DH probably once DS is a bit bigger.
    MFW: May 17: 143,000 o/s. Oct 17: 135,090 o/s. End Nov:133,588 Mid March 131,490.18
    OP Target 12k by end May 18. As @ end March 18: 8,170.48
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 25th Jan 18, 1:16 PM
    • 211 Posts
    • 965 Thanks
    Scrimps
    DS had a very fretful day yesterday but today has been asleep for the last few hours, he got himself off to sleep rather than needing to be rocked for the first time ever...I havent known what to do with myself. I hope this is the start of a routine but I wont hold my breath
    Im alert for him waking up so will get this finished quick.
    We have withdrawn some matched betting funds of 500 and made an additional overpayment of 300. 200 has been used to cover the overspend in DS category (still learning) and DH category (my birthday present was not saved up for) and also as mentioned previously struggling with sticking to the food budget.

    Paid today so the budget for feb is as follows:
    Fixed costs:
    Tv licence 12.12
    C tax 118
    Energy 60.00
    Mortgage 556
    HP 45
    Home Ins 19
    Life ins 22
    Water 38.5
    BBand 19
    fees 18.00

    Variable:
    Food 220
    Parking 10
    Fuel 80
    Pets 150
    Car Maint 100
    Home maint 20
    Misc 10
    Own 150 each
    Mortgage Overpayment 500
    Cash savings 120

    We have been paid more than this but I worked out this would be what we would have if we split out the maternity pay evenly across the 12 months. Anything paid over this is put into a separate saving account to top up the income when the maternity pay runs out.

    The eagle eyed of you may notice that there is nothing in a category for DS. I am hoping to cover his expenses with child benefit which I have already started getting but as previously Im still learning so I may not be able to. I will be going to mother and baby groups which can get quite pricey but they seem to help with my low mood so I'll stick with them for the time being.

    I am expecting my 40 from Onepoll soon also, this should go to the mortgage. I dont anticipate getting anything from matched betting this month.

    Other targets:
    No clothes: still just leggings and giant pants for post natal wear
    No cosmetics: On track as only spent advantage card points. However they have all gone now so this will not last until target date of November
    MFW: May 17: 143,000 o/s. Oct 17: 135,090 o/s. End Nov:133,588 Mid March 131,490.18
    OP Target 12k by end May 18. As @ end March 18: 8,170.48
    • TwentySomethingGirl
    • By TwentySomethingGirl 3rd Feb 18, 8:05 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 402 Thanks
    TwentySomethingGirl
    Hi Scrimps

    I hope you're doing well with your little boy. Mine will go to bed at night without rocking but not naps. We're still working on a day time routine, might be a bit early yet though. I've not tried any groups yet, I did think abut going to one because I was feeling a bit down, lonely and bored but I've not braved it yet. I'm with you on the giant pants!
    Mortgage 126746 DEC14 122423.53 DEC15 115041.70 DEC16 Remortgaged Sep17 to pay off HtB loan 150000
    MFW2018 #85 0/500
    MFW2017 2633.7/2500
    MFW2016 3614.63/2500
    MFW2015 811.60/1200
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 26th Feb 18, 10:16 AM
    • 211 Posts
    • 965 Thanks
    Scrimps
    Hi Scrimps

    I hope you're doing well with your little boy. Mine will go to bed at night without rocking but not naps. We're still working on a day time routine, might be a bit early yet though. I've not tried any groups yet, I did think abut going to one because I was feeling a bit down, lonely and bored but I've not braved it yet. I'm with you on the giant pants!
    Originally posted by TwentySomethingGirl
    Sorry I missed this, I havent been logging in to update. We're getting on better, we had quite a few issues with colic but he seems happier now, still screams a lot but i hear thats what babies do

    He sleeps really well at night but does get cuddled a lot, I have to make sure he is fast asleep before I put him on his back otherwise he will just wake back up again, he seems to get a fair amount of reflux which is settling down also but he is not yet over. He will sleep really well and settle immediately on his front but obviously I dont want to do that so am sticking with the cuddlng to sleep for now so I can lay him on his back, we co sleep a lot also. He does not like sleeping during the day at all, I also was a bit clueless about how much encouragement babies need to sleep during the day.

    I thought it kind of just happened if you were fairly quiet He will keep going and going until he is exhausted, then the screaming/crying starts because he is so tired by about 5pm and then eventually falls asleep and only wakes a few times for a feed overnight until 5am. We have got a bit better with daytime naps but not much, sometimes we think we have cracked it with a particular routine of pushing in the pram, or driving round in the car etc then , the next time I try it, he steadfastly stays awake.

    I hear you on the lonliness and boredom. I have been going to groups and would encourage you to brave it, all the other mums are there for the same reason and want someone to talk to and go for coffee with. I have found the ones I chose a bit pricey and its more for me than the boy but i would be less happy if I didnt go. Contrary to the 'competitive mum' thing you hear I find that everyone tends to talk about how shocked they are by how difficult it is, how lonely and bored they can feel if they dont get out, they also want to check that other peoples babies cry too and do poonamis etc and they also want to make some friends who have children because their current friends either a.> dont have kids or b.> have kids that are older.

    Im guessing the competitive mum bit will come as the babies get older. If you find a group where people arnt very inclusive just find another group.

    I also go to a 'postnatal low mood' group therapy which just started last week, i was refered by my CBT counsellor. It was very helpful to hear that everyone is in the same boat, looking at the titles of the next sessions it basically says work on putting yourself up the pecking order, try and carve some time out for yourself and let go of the guilt that seems to be born at the same time as the baby. I find talking to people difficult and get very anxious in social situations (see CBT) so I get that its difficult to brave the groups, but it is worth it.

    Sorry, went on a bit there! Happens a lot
    MFW: May 17: 143,000 o/s. Oct 17: 135,090 o/s. End Nov:133,588 Mid March 131,490.18
    OP Target 12k by end May 18. As @ end March 18: 8,170.48
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 26th Feb 18, 7:17 PM
    • 211 Posts
    • 965 Thanks
    Scrimps
    End Feb 18
    Feb spending should be finished apart from a few odds out of any cash we have in our wallets:

    Variable: Target/Actual
    Food 220/222
    Parking 10/0
    Fuel 80/80
    Pets 150/156
    Car Maint 100/0
    Home maint 20/240
    Misc 10/13
    Own 150 each /200 by me, on tgt for DH
    Mortgage Overpayment 500/500
    Cash savings 120/0

    Mostly on track for this month, I was particularly pleased with the food, though I am sure the short month helps massively we do still have food left. I think this was lower because of not nippping to sainsburys to buy 1 pizza each on a friday night and maybe some cakes for me etc, this happened a lot before and is expensive! I did a bit more home cooking, home made pizza and cheap soups etc. I also recalled what went so wrong with the food budget previously, we followed the advice to take a lot of food into the hospital because the fathers dont get fed and if labour is long mum will need the food to keep her energy up, we kept buying the snacks but because I was 2 weeks overdue we kept eating them and having to replace them We dont have snack foods in the house because I will just eat them all up. We also bought a lot of jars and convenience foods to cope with the early days. This is a real eye opener as to how expensive it is to eat that way, I can see how people easily have monster food bills.

    The 150 for the cats is usually 100 savings for medical bills we have every quarter and 50 on cat food. we spent 76 on an unexpected vet bill and I stocked up with 80 worth of the only food they will eat as it was on offer. Next month will be an expensive vet bill month as one of the cats needs a dental and a heart scan as well as their usual expensive tablets- we get these from petdrugsonline.com which is a huge saving but it is still expensive.

    Home maintenance went well over, the boiler broke, the microwave broke and we needed some shelves for DS room. We have been given some toys but had nowhere to put them. His room is coming together nicely for when he actually moves in there. It is very nice to actually have the money so that these things arnt a huge drama when they go wrong, previously these would have been a huge headache. I did think of not replacing the microwave but i do a lot of batch cooking so it is very useful and well used.

    My spending went over by 50. I tried on my jeans from before my pregnancy expecting them to be a little snug.........theyre about 2 sizes too small. Im going to be in my maternity clothes for a while! I have joined slimming world and signed up for a 12 week count down, I didnt actually have the money for this so have overspent. The good news is, once I do get to target I should be able to fit into the many clothes I have stored under the bed.

    The other bits are all still on target - no further spending on clothing or cosmetics.
    MFW: May 17: 143,000 o/s. Oct 17: 135,090 o/s. End Nov:133,588 Mid March 131,490.18
    OP Target 12k by end May 18. As @ end March 18: 8,170.48
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 16th Mar 18, 7:56 PM
    • 211 Posts
    • 965 Thanks
    Scrimps
    Ive updated my signature to tally up our overpayments so far. I dont think we will make our target of 12k but we're OK with that, we certainly wont be far off as in the absence of unexpected bills (car, vets etc) we should be paying off about 1500 over the next 2 months. A lot of matched betting is happening at the moment but that will be used to cover expected bills such as swimming lessons and cattery when we go to visit relatives..

    DH has stopped looking at the overpayment side of things so much, he was getting a bit obsessive and wishing his life away to when the mortgage is gone. I said we had a choice to either just pile absolutely everything at the mortgage and have no discretionary spending and get it paid off in 6 years or just stay the course and stop obsessing so much, he was getting so depressed about it it was making us both miserable - It'll be paid off in 10 years if we carry on as we are. He is focusing on maxmising side hustle incomes and im controlling outgoings but he's not to keep looking at the balance and playing on the overpyament calc!

    I still get the spending twitch regularly, so often I find myself in the shops just looking for things I might need to buy as if the money I have left for the month is the target I need to spend asap. Ive managed to ignore it so far, Its very suprising how long things like cosmetics last (updated list below) when Im not trying to burn through them so I can go and buy more
    I know its a small thing but overstocking a needless buying of cosmetics etc is a symptom of my spending behavour Im trying to reign in so Im staying very mindful of it.

    The food money seems to be lasting well also. Ive been eating mostly cheap staples such as potatoes and rice with vegetables and pulses, when I buy meat its usually game which isnt as cheap and farmed meat can be so I dont eat much. Stocking up on spices cost a little extra so far this month. DH is also matching me on the cheap staples but eats vegetarian meat replacement products also as he cant tolerate pulses.

    Council tax is going up next month by 5, water bill is going up 4.50 but energy should be staying the same as I havent used up the 'winter buffer' as yet.

    Hairspray x2
    sebastian hair gel 75ml
    nice and easy hair dye 1
    Carino tee tree shampoo 250ml
    Carino coconut conditioner 250ml
    Paul Mitchell Shampoo one 500ml
    Paul Mitchell Conditioner 750ml (I dont like this as a conditioner so use it as a shave gel - may take a while)
    Superdrug Argan oil Conditioner 300ml
    Paul Mitchell Shampoo 3 250ml (I havent been swimming in ages and probably wont start again until spring, so this will take a while to be used up)
    Paul Mitchell Conditioning treatment 250ml (as above)
    Mitchum Deodrent x3 x2
    Sanex Deo x1
    sainsburys shower gel 30ml
    Dr Bronner 4 in 1 organic baby sugar soap 355ml (I bought this for baby and for handwash but its too drying so I will just use it as a body wash)
    Oliva soap 1 large bar
    Nivea Cleansing cream wash 30ml
    sukin cream face cleanser 75ml
    simple face wash 100ml
    simple kind to skin repleninshing moisturiser 75ml
    superdrug hydrating serum last legs
    lush dream cream 50 ml
    sainsburys vite body lotion 350ml
    Bio-oil 200ml
    MFW: May 17: 143,000 o/s. Oct 17: 135,090 o/s. End Nov:133,588 Mid March 131,490.18
    OP Target 12k by end May 18. As @ end March 18: 8,170.48
    • Escapar2020
    • By Escapar2020 17th Mar 18, 9:28 AM
    • 89 Posts
    • 166 Thanks
    Escapar2020

    DH has stopped looking at the overpayment side of things so much, he was getting a bit obsessive and wishing his life away to when the mortgage is gone.
    Originally posted by Scrimps
    Been there, done that!

    I was stressing about OP every penny as quickly as possible, which made time seem to move very slowly. Now I rely on automated OPs plus the occasional bonus if I have money left at the end of the month.

    I still find myself wishing my life away once a month around OP day, but find something to distract me quickly, usually work, but gardening and diy are more prominent at this time of year!

    My advice is to have a OP plan and timescale that's manageable, be patient and find other (cheap/free) things to occupy your time and minds :-)

    Escapar2020
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 17th Mar 18, 2:12 PM
    • 211 Posts
    • 965 Thanks
    Scrimps
    Thats good advice Escapar. I should be able to just set it at 500 per month and forget it, t will be paid off in 10-11 years at that rate. 500 sounds like a lot but our payment is artifically low because we remortgaged to 28 years to keep as much flex in the system as possible - in case one of us lost our jobs or something. However at 500 op we would still be mortgage free by 50.

    750 per month would probably be doable but that starts obsession behaviour.

    I would be willing to OP more than 1000 by doing a Dave Ramsey style - turn the TV off, both get a little extra work, live on rice and beans, cancel all the expensive things like baby groups and swimming lessons and just throw everything at the mortgage so it was gone before DS realises he is missing out on anything. We would have a completely debt/payment free life by the time he was 5 and we would be able to take him on nice trips etc without a worry.

    DH doesnt want to do that, which I can understand, but when he kept looking at the 'problem' without being wiliing to implement more solutions such as the above it becomes purgatory.

    Itll be easier to find a distraction at this time of year. Its worse for DH I think because he has downtime at work whilst he is waiting for reports to run which is when he would look at the mortgage balance and start playing with the OP calc.
    MFW: May 17: 143,000 o/s. Oct 17: 135,090 o/s. End Nov:133,588 Mid March 131,490.18
    OP Target 12k by end May 18. As @ end March 18: 8,170.48
    • TwentySomethingGirl
    • By TwentySomethingGirl 3rd Apr 18, 9:00 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 402 Thanks
    TwentySomethingGirl
    Sorry I missed this, I havent been logging in to update. We're getting on better, we had quite a few issues with colic but he seems happier now, still screams a lot but i hear thats what babies do
    Originally posted by Scrimps
    Sorry I didn't reply to this. Only just got back on the forum in 2 months...!

    I hope your little boy has settled down and you're finding it less lonely and boring. I certainly am now. He's nearly 4 months old and getting more interesting We've had a horrendous time, 10 weeks of screaming! We eventually gave up having tried every colic remedy suggested to us and took him to the doctor who prescribed baby gaviscon for reflux. It's a miracle drug, practically worked over night! He's been so much happier since he's been on it that I actually like him and being with him rather than at work. I went to one group with a friend and her 2 year old (she didn't want to go alone...) and it was quite nice, although my boy just sat on my lap watching everything. Going to try one locally to me soon now he's happier with life. We're also going to start swimming in a couple of weeks. Have you been yet? How did you find it with the baby?
    Mortgage 126746 DEC14 122423.53 DEC15 115041.70 DEC16 Remortgaged Sep17 to pay off HtB loan 150000
    MFW2018 #85 0/500
    MFW2017 2633.7/2500
    MFW2016 3614.63/2500
    MFW2015 811.60/1200
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 5th Apr 18, 8:08 AM
    • 211 Posts
    • 965 Thanks
    Scrimps
    Sorry I didn't reply to this. Only just got back on the forum in 2 months...!

    I hope your little boy has settled down and you're finding it less lonely and boring. I certainly am now. He's nearly 4 months old and getting more interesting We've had a horrendous time, 10 weeks of screaming! We eventually gave up having tried every colic remedy suggested to us and took him to the doctor who prescribed baby gaviscon for reflux. It's a miracle drug, practically worked over night! He's been so much happier since he's been on it that I actually like him and being with him rather than at work. I went to one group with a friend and her 2 year old (she didn't want to go alone...) and it was quite nice, although my boy just sat on my lap watching everything. Going to try one locally to me soon now he's happier with life. We're also going to start swimming in a couple of weeks. Have you been yet? How did you find it with the baby?
    Originally posted by TwentySomethingGirl
    Thankfully that reflux is sorted now! I have heard it can be really bad, where babies will refuse to eat and just be completely inconsolable. I dont blame you for not really wanting to get out with that going on...baby screaming is just so stressful just in itself and it would be near impossible to enjoy things, bet its a relief now thats behind you!

    We have been swimming, his dad takes his on saturday mornings and I watch....I felt my mood lift when watching him swimming...the realisation that its not all night feeds and colic I think. DS seems to love swimming, you get a variety of responses from the babies, he is the only one who hasnt cried yet - which im weirdly proud of even though its not an achievement of mine in any way!! .
    He did start when he was a month old and didnt seem to know what was going on to be honest but his awareness is definately picking up now. The babies that do cry just need a cuddle and reassurance, keeping it all light and fun. If theyve had enough, they sometimes just get out a little bit early, its rare but is an option.....30 minutes is a long time for their tiny little bodies. Your own babys cry will sound louder to you than it does to anyone else so dont worry about other people hearing any crying - thats what our instructor said anyway and we're never bothered by other babies at all.

    DS is wiped out after swimming, has a feed and then sleeps for 3-4 hours...he usually wont nap more than 30 minutes at a time, so its great in that respect too. The last little thing in the lessons is laying them on their back and sing twinkle twinkle whilst supporting them and moving round in a circle - he once chilled out so much he closed his eyes and tried to nod off to sleep then DH loves it and where I have raised the subject of going somehwere cheaper or teaching him ourselves...DH would rather continue to find the money and take him so thats what the matched betting money is going to be used for.

    Re the groups, I met a friend at one of the local church mother and baby groups which is signifcantly cheaper and DS seems to get the same out of of the 'sensory' groups - at this age anyway. He's just the same as your little one, just watches and plays a little bit but he definately seems happier than when we get stuck in our house for a few dats...and I am too, there is also tea and biscuits included in the price.
    MFW: May 17: 143,000 o/s. Oct 17: 135,090 o/s. End Nov:133,588 Mid March 131,490.18
    OP Target 12k by end May 18. As @ end March 18: 8,170.48
    • Tempus01
    • By Tempus01 17th Apr 18, 2:25 PM
    • 56 Posts
    • 73 Thanks
    Tempus01
    Hi Scrimps,


    I've just found your diary and have enjoyed catching up on your progress. Congrats on the new arival!!


    You are super organised and dedicated - - how do you do it?


    T X
    22.08.2017 start of my journey
    Loan = 6200.00/466.01 Barclays Card = 1631.36/ 1968.00 Tesco Credit Card = 3500/3236 NatWest Credit Card = 1422.34/ 1534 Littlewoods account = 104 / 40.60
    • TwentySomethingGirl
    • By TwentySomethingGirl 22nd Apr 18, 9:30 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 402 Thanks
    TwentySomethingGirl
    We did our first swimming lesson, he seemed to really enjoy it, even smiled a few times. His little butt floats quite a bit though so I had to hold that down

    I finally felt brave enough to venture to a group a couple of weeks ago but of course it was Easter holidays and they all stop then so going to try and get to one this week.

    I hope you're getting some sleep, our boy is still up every 3 hours
    Mortgage 126746 DEC14 122423.53 DEC15 115041.70 DEC16 Remortgaged Sep17 to pay off HtB loan 150000
    MFW2018 #85 0/500
    MFW2017 2633.7/2500
    MFW2016 3614.63/2500
    MFW2015 811.60/1200
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 21st Jun 18, 9:18 PM
    • 211 Posts
    • 965 Thanks
    Scrimps
    Hi Scrimps,


    I've just found your diary and have enjoyed catching up on your progress. Congrats on the new arival!!


    You are super organised and dedicated - - how do you do it?


    T X
    Originally posted by Tempus01
    Thank you, it doesnt feel like it!

    Its just the why rather than the how. The how is easy, you just do it, there are lots of tools on this site and Dave Ramsey has his brll baby steps which is a simple plan easily laid out, its the motivation thats the issue.

    My motivation is Im convinced my life would have been very different growing up if my mum managed her money. She worked very, very, very hard to earn money for us but there never was any. There should have been money, I didnt qualify for free lunches for example but did have to scab money most days to buy my lunch, didnt have a quid for the youth club disco etc stuff like that. I never, ever want that for my son so I am am living on a proper budget to pay down the house to offer security so he can enjoy growing up.
    That, and my friend got diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer and was having to worry about money, they were fine but had a few financial vulnerabilities. I would like to remove the vulnerabilities as much as possible so you can focus on the really important stuff at a time like that.
    Sorry, thats a bit heavy. Funny how having a kid makes you look at these things.
    MFW: May 17: 143,000 o/s. Oct 17: 135,090 o/s. End Nov:133,588 Mid March 131,490.18
    OP Target 12k by end May 18. As @ end March 18: 8,170.48
    • Scrimps
    • By Scrimps 21st Jun 18, 9:34 PM
    • 211 Posts
    • 965 Thanks
    Scrimps
    We did our first swimming lesson, he seemed to really enjoy it, even smiled a few times. His little butt floats quite a bit though so I had to hold that down

    I finally felt brave enough to venture to a group a couple of weeks ago but of course it was Easter holidays and they all stop then so going to try and get to one this week.

    I hope you're getting some sleep, our boy is still up every 3 hours
    Originally posted by TwentySomethingGirl
    Love how you have to push his butt down. The groups have scaled back a bit and ive stopped slimming world but will be seeing the mums at sensory tomorrow. Im just focusing on the bits I really enjoy, the stay and play is out for a while, summer is here and I dont want to be indoors too much, its been nice getting a break but Ive noticed a bit of cabin fever creeping in the last few days so itll be good to catch up with some adults other than my husband tomorrow.
    I do need to make an effort to see if any mum friends are up for metting up, I dont want those friendships to fizzle out due to everyone being busy being parents.

    On the finances front, bearing the above post in mind, weve been overspendning so I am stopping the overpayments until November when I go back to work - should be able to catch up.

    Looking at the reasons for the overspending, mainly son and also some patio work which I over spent by quite a lot on the stone and also the labour, and then a little bit over on food, a little on personal spends, a little on car parking.....but every month Its my own fault I kept hearing myself say. I'll figure it out, we've still got a little buffer etc. But now Ive used up the buffer...and then some.

    I shouldnt have said' i'll figure it out'. I set the budget like that for a reason and then undermined myself. For June I said no to myself, husband and also DS. e.g I wanted to continue slimming world and get a back treatment and continue pilates but I ran out of money, previous months were 'i'll figure it out', 'I need my back clicked', 'pilates is helping me recover'. This month I didnt have the money, so I said no, Its quite liberating to say no actually rather than worrying about whether borrowing from my future self would leave me with enough for all my maternity leave
    MFW: May 17: 143,000 o/s. Oct 17: 135,090 o/s. End Nov:133,588 Mid March 131,490.18
    OP Target 12k by end May 18. As @ end March 18: 8,170.48
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