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  • FIRST POST
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 15th Oct 17, 10:13 PM
    • 919Posts
    • 3,944Thanks
    ladymay
    Starting over...
    • #1
    • 15th Oct 17, 10:13 PM
    Starting over... 15th Oct 17 at 10:13 PM
    Hi all!

    It's been a while since I've used this website and forum, largely because I've been living abroad for a few years and BOY have I missed it! For the record, there's nothing remotely like MSE in Ireland and if I was much cleverer I would have loved to have started something similar.

    The reason I'm rejoining the MSE clan is because in 12 weeks time (82 days to be exact) I'm moving back to Devon And while I'm really excited, I'm also extremely nervous to be starting over. I run a successful business here in Ireland that I'm hoping to bring over (but realistically it'll take at least 12 months to get to the same level - I'm a wedding singer if anyone needs one ), and the thought of being a 30-something who is going back to live with her mother is nauseating...

    Financially I have no savings and 1700 on a credit card - I've put all my money into my business, so the plan is to save as much money as I possibly can before I move. I have a lot of work coming up but my day job is also self-employed so budgeting can be difficult while I wait for invoices to be paid.

    I work mostly in the afternoons and evenings so I'm on the hunt for a temp morning or night time job for the next few months, but I'm also looking online for ways to earn a bit extra. I still have my UK bank account so I'm looking at doing the gambling websites using Top Cashback (I hate gambling so stopping after the minimum bet to get the cash back won't be an issue), and I write a bit in my spare time so I might try some of the task-based websites too.

    Well, I think that's it for now. Wish me luck!
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
Page 5
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 16th Nov 17, 6:12 PM
    • 919 Posts
    • 3,944 Thanks
    ladymay
    You're right DFD - I'm always too nice when it comes to money, which is probably why I've had so many financial troubles in the past!

    I did't get much done today, with the laptop out of action I had to load all my work stuff onto my tablet which took a few hours this morning, and by the time I came back from work I was shattered. I'm listening to my body, getting a really early night and getting back on it first thing in the morning
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 17th Nov 17, 8:56 AM
    • 919 Posts
    • 3,944 Thanks
    ladymay
    Morning

    Got a second wind last night and managed to crack on with more of my jobs, this is what is left:

    - Clean bathroom
    - Contact event company to confirm work details next month
    - Chase up refund
    - Pack suitcase
    - Create 'moving country' event on FB
    - Make sure everything I need next week is in the online drive
    - Go over set lists
    - Learn two new songs
    - PAD Already done, 5.52
    - Two gigs

    Last day before some fun time!!
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 18th Nov 17, 10:27 AM
    • 919 Posts
    • 3,944 Thanks
    ladymay
    - Clean bathroom
    - Contact event company to confirm work details next month Done, still waiting on confirmation though
    - Chase up refund I fear I may have a battle on my hands
    - Pack suitcase Done
    - Create 'moving country' event on FB Done
    - Make sure everything I need next week is in the online drive Done
    - Go over set lists Done
    - Learn two new songs Done
    - PAD Already done, 5.52
    - Two gigs Done

    Right! Flights in four hours, I'll double check my packing and I'll be heading to Gatwick!!

    I'M SO EXCITED!!!!
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 25th Nov 17, 9:27 AM
    • 919 Posts
    • 3,944 Thanks
    ladymay
    At home in sunny, cold Devon. It's been an interesting few days...

    - I appear to have acquired a boyfriend! My oldest friend, in fact. It's really exciting but I'm nervous about getting involved with someone again.

    - I have two venues already confirmed for bookings next year so there is definitely a market here for jazz/vintage music

    - Living with mum is going to present some major challenges: I've got a box room and already feel quite claustrophobic, I'm allergic to her dog's dandour (she's a husky/malamute cross so there's a lot of it!), there's no parking space etc... it's all stuff I'll get used to but it's a big change.

    - Just got an email from the wedding fair lady apologising for not getting back to me and that the refund will happen next month! I run a small business myself so I totally get cashflow problems, as long as I know it's coming in and when I'm happy so that's a weight off my mind.

    - I still have so much to doand my stress levels are starting to rise!
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 27th Nov 17, 8:36 AM
    • 919 Posts
    • 3,944 Thanks
    ladymay
    Gah! Phone died last night so that's an extra expense today (on top of spending too much the past week ) off to try and get a Black Friday deal. I need to get a contract in the uk anyway, hopefully my credit score will be good enough to get one...
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 27th Nov 17, 4:48 PM
    • 814 Posts
    • 4,184 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    My phone won't last much longer, I'm trying to hold out as long as I can with buying a new one as I really like my contract only costing 9 a month! How exciting on the boyfriend front! I know what you mean about worrying about getting involved with someone, dating is so hard and complicated, I wish I could meet someone where it was just easy.

    How long are you planning on staying at your mums? I couldn't go back home now, especially considering I have the small to think about but financially it would be a hell of a lot easier!
    Debt free by Christmas 2018 #004: 2565.82/7445.69
    2018 in 2018 #25: 674.21/2018
    SPC 586
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 28th Nov 17, 10:52 AM
    • 919 Posts
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    ladymay
    Well I couldn't get a phone contract! The woman who served me warned me as soon as I gave a foreign previous address that it'd probably reject me. But the phone I wanted had 100 off so I ended up buying it outright. Big spend but it's one of the best for recording video which will be helpful for work.

    DFD I know! It feels great being with him and he's just about the only guy I trust but I'm still a bit nervous. It's all so convenient - he knows my weird family, he's in the same business and he's always wanted us to get together - and I'm not entirely sure I trust my own decision making (I got it pretty wrong last time!). But we'll see how it goes.

    And as far as living with my mum goes, no longer than six months. I know moving back in doesn't hold the stigma it once did, but it still feels like a massive step backwards...
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 28th Nov 17, 12:38 PM
    • 814 Posts
    • 4,184 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    All you can do is go with it and see where it goes. I know what you mean about decision making, mine really couldn't get much worse in that department!

    Ah you may come across a few problems there with credit but then that won't be a bad thing as you won't then become dependent on it.

    I know it must feel like a step back but its not, you are moving forward with your life and not backwards, this is a temporary measure to help you with that move forward.
    Debt free by Christmas 2018 #004: 2565.82/7445.69
    2018 in 2018 #25: 674.21/2018
    SPC 586
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 28th Nov 17, 2:47 PM
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    ladymay
    Thanks DFD,

    My stress levels are rising again - this always happens when I'm away from work for too long. I can't get hold of my credit score because of living abroad, times like this I get angry with my ex all over again. And angry with myself; every time I suffer even a tiny set back for changing everything to be with him.

    And my phone bill has suddenly doubled and I need it for another five weeks. Every time I feel like I'm getting back on top of things financially there's a hiccup!

    I just need to get back and redo all my sums. I'm trying so hard to make this all work!
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 28th Nov 17, 3:02 PM
    • 814 Posts
    • 4,184 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    Don't stress, at the moment your score doesn't matter and your score is meaningless anyway, its more what is actually in your credit file that is important. If you have been repaying your debts on time etc then I'm sure it is just your address that is a current problem. This is just temporary and it will sort itself out shortly.

    We can't change our past so don't be angry over it, just concentrate on your future. Could you maybe go for a pay as you go for the last 5 weeks to save money? or a rolling sim only deal and transfer your number over?

    It will all work out, just keep at it.
    Debt free by Christmas 2018 #004: 2565.82/7445.69
    2018 in 2018 #25: 674.21/2018
    SPC 586
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 29th Nov 17, 2:09 PM
    • 919 Posts
    • 3,944 Thanks
    ladymay
    Feeling a bit more positive today, although I'm concerned that my anxiety has started to sky rocket whenever I feel even slightly out of control. I wasn't like this before the break up...

    At the airport now, my flight's in a couple of hours so I'm treating myself to some noodles and tea I'll get home around 7/8ish so I'll need to sort out the washing for tomorrow, update all my finances and send out my invoices for the upcoming week!
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 29th Nov 17, 8:08 PM
    • 814 Posts
    • 4,184 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    Glad you are feeling more positive, have you looked into ways at handling your anxiety? Hope you had a safe flight.
    Debt free by Christmas 2018 #004: 2565.82/7445.69
    2018 in 2018 #25: 674.21/2018
    SPC 586
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 29th Nov 17, 9:46 PM
    • 919 Posts
    • 3,944 Thanks
    ladymay
    Back at my computer catching up on work. Slept through the flight which is exactly how I like it! Invoices sent, finances jiggled and washing sorted.

    DFD, my biggest anxiety is money (I've worried about money since I was a small child) and it's definitely something I need to get under control, but in general the break up has turned me into something of a control freak. CBT has been suggested to me before and it's something I want to look into in the spring.

    Tomorrow:

    - volunteer shift
    - gig
    - shopping
    - washing
    - PAD

    That's all I'll have time for, I think!
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 30th Nov 17, 10:15 PM
    • 919 Posts
    • 3,944 Thanks
    ladymay
    - volunteer shift Done
    - gig Done
    - shopping Done
    - washing Half done
    - PAD Done

    Spendy day today, filling up the car cost 70.14 and shopping was 31.21 - a bit more than I'd like but they had a few things on offer that I stocked up on (including protein bars which are handy when I'm on the road!) and I bought extra fruit and veggies because I'm gigging all week and like having a lunch box that's full to the brim I'll have to do a teeny top-up shop at Mr T though, Lidl is not very vegetarian-friendly and I need to pick up Quorn after the weekend.

    All in all, I'm feeling calmer but I hope I have a better night's sleep tonight. Diet is back to normal, finances are a bit dodgy after the trip home but they'll be back on track soon enough. Still waiting on payments from as far back as September which doesn't help

    To-do tomorrow:

    - PAD
    - NSD
    - Take friend and dog-friend to vet (and be paid in tea and cake!)
    - Gig
    - Chase up late payments
    - Tidy up
    - Make batch of bean stew
    - Go over rest of Christmas music
    - Create set lists for weekend
    - Finish washing

    And if I have time:

    - Get started on Social Media work
    - Clean bathroom
    - Work out
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 1st Dec 17, 9:43 PM
    • 919 Posts
    • 3,944 Thanks
    ladymay
    Well, for the second time in six months I got dumped. So much for trust.

    I'm exhausted.

    Plan for tonight was to get sorted for the month with my to do lists but I think I'll just go to bed...
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • fay66
    • By fay66 1st Dec 17, 9:44 PM
    • 737 Posts
    • 2,056 Thanks
    fay66
    Men I gave up years ago Im 51 and suited to old maid.
    Inland revenue 4500=
    Loan 1562
    Pay day loans -1400 1st pay 16 march 50
    Credit card 1 -4850/4850 int froze
    CC2 -978
    CC3 - 500/548 cc4 180/200
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 1st Dec 17, 9:52 PM
    • 814 Posts
    • 4,184 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    Oh no I'm sorry to hear that! I'm off men (more to do with the fact that I'm still hung up on someone) its just so hard, I hate dating!
    Debt free by Christmas 2018 #004: 2565.82/7445.69
    2018 in 2018 #25: 674.21/2018
    SPC 586
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 1st Dec 17, 9:58 PM
    • 1,469 Posts
    • 7,030 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    Lady May, sorry to hear that. What a rotter. Definitely a weekend to drink wine and eat chocolate.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = 400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s 34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 1600ish/2,500
    • ladymay
    • By ladymay 2nd Dec 17, 9:15 AM
    • 919 Posts
    • 3,944 Thanks
    ladymay
    Thanks ladies. I'd love to drink wine and eat chocolate and do nothing but my next day off is Christmas Eve so I'll save my pity for Christmas when it is infinitely more potent anyway!

    Aside from the **** show that is my personal life, I'm genuinely tired all the time atm. I'm having trouble sleeping again so I've divided my December to do list into "Must do" and "Want to do":

    Must do:

    - PAD every day - had to put the new phone on my CC and I absolutely have to keep on top of this
    - Work (obvs)
    - Keep chasing money I'm owed
    - Book Xmas Eve bus tickets from airport to home (most recent ex was meant to do this, awkward!)
    - Sort wedding music
    - Sort rest of Christmas music and set lists
    - Buy pressies for mum, brother and his kids
    - Cancel phone contract
    - Activate UK sim
    - Get medical records from Irish doctor
    - Eat well and exercise

    Want to do:

    - Create new website
    - Create social media pages
    - Book MOT
    - Buy mirror and fuel cap
    - Pay off CC - very much depends on when I'm paid by everyone
    - Go back on hormonal birth control - my PMS is so much worse without it, I go up an entire cup size for about four days a month and boy it HURTS!
    - See my therapist

    I have a full day today, singing at a party this afternoon then running another party tonight. Plans for this morning are to crack on with music work, make a stew to feed up on over the next few days, and question the futility of existence

    Happy Saturday!
    Moved back to the UK 05/01/18
    New Job and New Business
    2018 Aim - Save 10k
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 2nd Dec 17, 9:52 AM
    • 814 Posts
    • 4,184 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    Good idea to seperate your lists I think, go and book those bus tickets, then you won't have to worry about those and you won't have to think about him not booking them for you. Small steps each day and you will smash your December to do list.
    Debt free by Christmas 2018 #004: 2565.82/7445.69
    2018 in 2018 #25: 674.21/2018
    SPC 586
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