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    • littlelell09
    • By littlelell09 12th Oct 17, 11:11 PM
    • 1Posts
    • 1Thanks
    time to grow up
    • #1
    • 12th Oct 17, 11:11 PM
    time to grow up 12th Oct 17 at 11:11 PM
    So how many times must I continue to make the same mistakes? in fact, they are not mistakes they are choices.
    I choose to spend on my credit card so it seems like i have more money in the bank, I choose to go on nights out that i can't afford, which leaves me skint a week after payday and i choose to spend money on items i do not need.

    Here's a little about me... i'm irresponsible, selfish, lazy and a coward. this is not some self deprecating oh woe is me post. I do not want sympathy, I want to be 100% honest. I am 30 and married, I was a mature student and i have always been in employment (since 16, no child labour) oh and since 18 i have always been in debt. I do the bare minimum to get through life. I was a carer for the elderly for many years i have worked in shops and now i work in school. i have never been in a well paid job nor have i ever worked to my potential. Do i lack confidence? maybe, is it because these jobs are easy to get? definitely.
    i am not work shy as anyone who has been a carer knows it's not an easy task, but i do lack ambition.

    Anyway, time to change. it was pointed out to me (by the OH) that i am very insular with my problems so step 1 of change... publish a diary on a public forum!!
    and in this diary i will openly admit i have a spending addiction. not in a funny this a great sitcom episode kind of way but a genuine issue with spending all my money kind of way. I will shop when i'm sad, shop to celebrate, shop for other people, shop for myself. i will literally spend money on anything as long as i'm spending money i'm happy.

    over the years this compulsion to spend, spend, spend has racked up a lot of debt! which family and my wonderful husband have helped me out of...only for me to do it again and again.

    so here i am at the fork in the road that is my life: one road will lead me to being debt free and on the road to a career with prospects and being an equal to my OH. The other road.. further into debt and losing the love of my life.

    It's a no brainer really.
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    • phizzimum
    • By phizzimum 13th Oct 17, 8:05 AM
    • 1,697 Posts
    • 9,247 Thanks
    • #2
    • 13th Oct 17, 8:05 AM
    • #2
    • 13th Oct 17, 8:05 AM
    Well done for posting Littlelell09, youíve taken the first, very brave step.

    Remember that at times, everybody acts in a way that is lazy or selfish or cowardly. But those traits donít define us, at other times we act in ways that are industrious, loving and brave.

    Debt busting is partly to do with budgeting but more often to do with having a healthy relationship with money. It sounds like youíre aware of the emotional reasons for your spending so youíre in a good position to work on addressing them.

    Keep posting and let us know how youíre getting on
    weaving through the chaos...
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