Money for wedding gift

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  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,833 Forumite
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    hazyjo wrote: »
    £30 is fine. £50 is generous. £100 is too much unless a very close friend or family IMO.

    I agree. It's down to the individual and the circumstances they are in
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
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  • iammumtoone
    iammumtoone Posts: 6,377 Forumite
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    Fireflyaway wrote: »
    We are staying the night which costs more than £50

    Would you have chosen to stay anyway even if you had to pay for your own room?

    If yes I would give the cost of the room (remember they will get cheaper than standard rate) plus what I would normally spend (£30 ish)
  • Brighton_belle
    Brighton_belle Posts: 5,223 Forumite
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    Fireflyaway wrote: »
    We are staying the night which costs more than £50 and I think she might think we are cheeky spending more on us than them.
    iammumtoone wrote: »
    Would you have chosen to stay anyway even if you had to pay for your own room?

    If yes I would give the cost of the room (remember they will get cheaper than standard rate) plus what I would normally spend (£30 ish)

    I took from the OP's post that the OP was funding their own room (as the bride might be offended that they were prepared to spend £50 on 'themselves' and less for a present for them....yes she sounds a bit ghastly...)
    I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once
  • iammumtoone
    iammumtoone Posts: 6,377 Forumite
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    Brighton_belle wrote: »
    I took from the OP's post that the OP was funding their own room (as the bride might be offended that they were prepared to spend £50 on 'themselves' and less for a present for them....yes she sounds a bit ghastly...)

    If anyone thinks a gift should be higher in value than the cost the OP already has to pay to attend, they need to think again!

    In that case I would give £10 :D
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,172 Forumite
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    Fireflyaway wrote: »
    I have a little feeling the partner of friend might think we are being stingy. Comes across a bit needy and dramatic.... We are staying the night which costs more than £50 and I think she might think we are cheeky spending more on us than them.
    However going back to the gift thing, if it were a physical present £50 would be generous. Maybe I could get a little something for them to unwrap to.

    If they think that, then they are greedy and seem to be type of people who invite for more £
  • LilElvis
    LilElvis Posts: 5,835 Forumite
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    Everyone will have an opinion on what is a "reasonable" amount to give but it will be determined by their personal feelings regarding gifts and their financial circumstances - £50 could be what one person will spend on a bottle of wine whilst for another it would represent a couple of weeks food shopping. The "right" amount is what you feel happy to give.

    A small, personal gift as an addition would be a lovely gesture - and will likely be remembered long after the pot of money they have been gifted has been spent. We went to the wedding a few weeks ago for my husband's PA at his old company. They had a tradition where every time that someone in their department got married they were given a large, tacky crystal swan which was passed on at the next wedding. This went on for years and years, and many weddings, until it eventually ended up in Australia and was never seen again. I bought a small, equally tacky, crystal swan from Amazon for about £6 and my husband wrote a note to remind the bride about their old tradition. It was a rubbish gift but she was crying and laughing at all the memories it brought back as they reminisced about all the previous owners of the original crystal swan.
  • AubreyMac
    AubreyMac Posts: 1,723 Forumite
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    Why does it have to be cash? How about a voucher or a actual gift instead?

    Once my sister gave a relative £50 for their wedding, she was criticised by the brides mother for being stingie. What wasn't taken into account is that my sister travelled so paid train and accommodation as well as taking a days leave from work so was rather upset by that comment.

    I think £50 is more than enough for someone you only see quarterly. Would you be judgemental if she gave you £50?
  • mark5
    mark5 Posts: 1,363 Forumite
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    As a day guest as a couple attending a wedding at a nice venue I would be thinking £100 as a present.

    I've always thought of it as roughly the cost of our meals and evening buffet etc.

    It's 2017 not 1999, £50 doesn't go that far anymore.
  • JReacher1
    JReacher1 Posts: 4,652 Forumite
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    i usually go £50 per person day guest. £20 per person evening guest.
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,172 Forumite
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    edited 7 October 2017 at 10:52AM
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    mark5 wrote: »
    As a day guest as a couple attending a wedding at a nice venue I would be thinking £100 as a present.

    I've always thought of it as roughly the cost of our meals and evening buffet etc.

    It's 2017 not 1999, £50 doesn't go that far anymore.

    As a person who would go on their own as a guest and by your definition £50 does not go far, you should give £200 and me £100 ;)
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