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    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 24th Sep 17, 1:22 PM
    • 4,426Posts
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    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    • #1
    • 24th Sep 17, 1:22 PM
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally 24th Sep 17 at 1:22 PM
    My DH and I have been in debt for 34 Years, apart from brief periods, ever since I was offered my first credit card at the tender age of19.

    Our debts were caused by us being impulsive spenders and not being very skilled at budgeting or managing our money, so we know it is our own fault. We always believed that one day we would have more money, mysteriously, and that this would bail us out .

    Our full light bulb moment came when we realised, "What if we never have any more money than we do right now?"

    A couple of years ago we were coping with the minimum payments, but didn't have enough to overpay on any of them. We were forking out £1300 a month in minimum payments, and the interest alone was £1000 a month .

    But then in 2015 our small business started to bring in less, and a family bereavement, and illness affected our ability to work. We could no longer afford the minimum repayments and we were scared we would lose our home. We were stricken with stress and depression .

    Step Change shone a light in the darkness for us and they arranged for us to make token payments of £1 a month to our creditors. This saved our sanity and we were reassured that our home was unlikely to be taken from us.

    My DH recently turned 55 and drew out his pension so that we could make full and final offers to our creditors. All but one accepted an offer of 50% of what we owed (which is all we had to offer). We are continuing negotiations with the final creditor and hope to be debt free by Christmas .

    Being so close to being debt free has made me realise what a heavy burden the debts have been all these years, like living our lives wearing lead boots.

    Once we are debt free we will still need to live very frugally because we have no emergency fund or savings, and our income can be irregular. I hope that starting a diary will help to focus me on frugal living, avoid impulsive spends, and keep my spirits up. Because frugal living can be a lonely and isolating experience.

    This site and Step Change has helped me so much, and I hope that my diary will help to inspire others that it's never too late to change your life .
    Last edited by HairyHandofDartmoor; 18-11-2017 at 9:49 AM.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
Page 102
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 5th Feb 18, 2:48 PM
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    redofromstart
    Not a selfish meltdown at all, you cope with a huge amount.

    Hope it is a work up call for him to take responsibility for his health rather than you trying to do it by stealth.
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 5th Feb 18, 2:58 PM
    • 653 Posts
    • 7,282 Thanks
    117pauline
    Sorry to hear the result but hopefully it will be a wake up call for him. Once it has sunk in a bit perhaps together you can come up with a plan to put some positive changes into your way of life. Perhaps the family can all work together to support him and reduce the stress on you too.

    Your Saturday was completely understandable. We all have a breaking point.

    Take care honey
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 5th Feb 18, 3:25 PM
    • 6,153 Posts
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    Purplemumof2
    Oh Hairy, what a worry.

    Hope you and Mr Hairy can come to some routine together so he does actually take his pills...men eh! Like to worry us xx

    Sending big hugs to you xxx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6200.00 Cap 1: £395.80 BC: £6841.81
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    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD £6288.87/£7000
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    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Feb 18, 6:40 PM
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    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Does your hubby have a phone if so set a alarm to remind him, I did this with my mil and it works for her took a couple of weeks for her to figure out all the alarms tho but hopefully these appointments will make him more aware that he needs to take care of himself xx
    An alarm might work for his blood pressure tablets. His diabetes tablets have to be taken with food and he eats at irregular times!
    You've just reminded me I need to source out best prices for printer ink xx
    Originally posted by abba1772
    We had to spend £19 on one colour because DH has been procrastinating and we needed it urgently

    Not a selfish meltdown at all, you cope with a huge amount.

    Hope it is a work up call for him to take responsibility for his health rather than you trying to do it by stealth.
    Originally posted by redofromstart
    I really hope so Redo, sometimes it's like having a fourth child
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Feb 18, 6:47 PM
    • 4,426 Posts
    • 30,731 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Sorry to hear the result but hopefully it will be a wake up call for him. Once it has sunk in a bit perhaps together you can come up with a plan to put some positive changes into your way of life. Perhaps the family can all work together to support him and reduce the stress on you too.

    Your Saturday was completely understandable. We all have a breaking point.

    Take care honey
    Pauline
    Originally posted by 117pauline
    Thank you Pauline .

    I'm going to ask the DC to take buses more often rather than DH give them lifts. Other than that I'm not sure what I can do, but certainly more weekend walks would help his stress I think.

    Oh Hairy, what a worry.

    Hope you and Mr Hairy can come to some routine together so he does actually take his pills...men eh! Like to worry us xx

    Sending big hugs to you xxx
    Originally posted by Purplemumof2
    Thank you Purplemum .

    As you say men
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Feb 18, 6:58 PM
    • 4,426 Posts
    • 30,731 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    A step update from the last three days:

    Friday - 12,537 steps, 54 floors, 28 active minutes
    Saturday - 16,039 steps, 38 floors, 16 active minutes
    Sunday - 11,340 steps, 31 floors, 18 active minutes
    Today - 12,540 steps, 28 floors, 13 active minutes

    I should be losing weight, but somehow I'm not

    Most of today's steps were along interminable hospital corridors. I said to the nurse "This is like one of those hospital corridors from a horror film" and she said "You should see it at 2am" . So DH did a lot of steps today as well .

    My friend managed to countersign my passport form yesterday, so I nipped into town on the bus to the Post Office this afternoon and got it Checked and Sent. It's a relief to get that posted, but it will probably arrive just as DS2 gets back .

    I feel completely shattered now, so I'm doing an easy dinner and then I'm going to collapse in front of the telly.

    Hope you've all had a good day .
    Last edited by HairyHandofDartmoor; 05-02-2018 at 7:52 PM.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 5th Feb 18, 7:18 PM
    • 924 Posts
    • 5,168 Thanks
    Nicnak
    Sorry about the TIA hope you’re both ok now?

    How are you feeling now? X
    September 6th 2017 - Updated 13th May 2018
    Credit Card £0 now: £0 Tesco Loan £7500 = £0 Consolidation £15,000 = £13,855 Total = £25,330 £13,855 43% gone EMF #252 = £700/£1000
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    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #71
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 5th Feb 18, 7:27 PM
    • 6,183 Posts
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    mummytogirls
    Gosh HHOD what a worry about DH. I hope this is the wake up call DH needs to remember to take his medication. Would one of those pill boxes work?

    Maybe he could go on the daily walks with you xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
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    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Feb 18, 7:49 PM
    • 4,426 Posts
    • 30,731 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Sorry about the TIA hope you’re both ok now?

    How are you feeling now? X
    Originally posted by Nicnak
    Gosh HHOD what a worry about DH. I hope this is the wake up call DH needs to remember to take his medication. Would one of those pill boxes work?

    Maybe he could go on the daily walks with you xx
    Originally posted by mummytogirls
    Thank you both. I feel exhausted physically and emotionally . It's a combination of all the hospital stuff and dreading DS2A going to America again.

    But I need to keep plodding as Beanie says. At least it wasn't a full on massive stroke so DH has a chance to lead a healthier lifestyle.

    I've suggested DH coming with me on my daily walks in the past but he won't . He can't face it when it's cold, wet etc and he's not a morning person. He's better in the Spring and Summer.

    DH likes Pokemon Go and so does DS1 . Last summer they used to go to the park occasionally while I was cooking dinner to catch Pokemon . I was really pleased they were both getting some exercise, so I've suggested they start doing that again, now the evenings are a bit lighter.

    DH has got a pill box already, but maybe an alarm on his phone might help to remind him. He forgot to take his lunchtime diabetes tablets today, believe it or not .
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 5th Feb 18, 8:05 PM
    • 1,993 Posts
    • 12,266 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    I’m so pleased that things weren’t as bad as you feared with DH Hairy.

    Re pills- I have to take daily medication twice a day. What I tend to do is before I go to bed I leave the morning tablets out in the middle of the kitchen top along with my vitamins, Times newspaper voucher and generally an apple! This is because then they are the first things I see in the morning when I go into the kitchen. I then take the tablets, put the voucher in my coat pocket and get my lunch from the fridge to go with the apple and put in my bag. I then leave the rest of the vitamins and my other tablets on the counter so I see these when I get in that evening as a reminder to take them! Works for me as I’m always hurrying!
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 23/06/2018: £665.09
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 35!
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 5th Feb 18, 8:10 PM
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    redofromstart
    Do they just do Pokemon Go? Has he tried Ingress? Much more tactical and the same location based thing. My OH really got into Ingress which has set us off on some interesting walks to 'capture the portal at the top'.

    Hope you get a slower day tomorrow.
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Feb 18, 8:11 PM
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    HairyHandofDartmoor
    That sounds like a plan that works really well for you SSG. DH gets up and goes straight into the office usually, but sometimes DS2A uses it after we've gone to bed so the tablets might get moved.

    I think maybe a phone alarm might work best for him, but we can try and see what works for him.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Feb 18, 8:14 PM
    • 4,426 Posts
    • 30,731 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Do they just do Pokemon Go? Has he tried Ingress? Much more tactical and the same location based thing. My OH really got into Ingress which has set us off on some interesting walks to 'capture the portal at the top'.

    Hope you get a slower day tomorrow.
    Originally posted by redofromstart
    Good idea Redo, he might like that . DS1 likes geocaching too, so he's always up for doing that with DH.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 5th Feb 18, 8:30 PM
    • 55,063 Posts
    • 220,011 Thanks
    beanielou
    Sorry to hear about the TIA but hope your OH can think of it as a wee warning.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 5th Feb 18, 8:32 PM
    • 55,063 Posts
    • 220,011 Thanks
    beanielou
    Oh & I have a wee chart these days for my medication.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Feb 18, 8:38 PM
    • 4,426 Posts
    • 30,731 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Thank you Beanie, I hope he manages to look after himself better from now on.

    A chart, hmmm. On paper? I wonder whether a small whiteboard would work? That I could divide into squares and then put a tick when he's had his tablets?

    Thinks... thinks...
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Feb 18, 8:40 PM
    • 4,426 Posts
    • 30,731 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I’m so pleased that things weren’t as bad as you feared with DH Hairy.
    Originally posted by Seasidegal58
    Things were actually a bit worse SSG because we were hoping it was a migraine, but it was actually a mini stroke .
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 5th Feb 18, 8:46 PM
    • 1,993 Posts
    • 12,266 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Sorry Hairy. You were both so stressed and I thought you were thinking tumours. Of course a mini stroke is still very worrying. Hopefully you’ll both think of the best way to ensure that the medication is taken regularly from now on.
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 23/06/2018: £665.09
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 35!
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Feb 18, 8:51 PM
    • 4,426 Posts
    • 30,731 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Actually no a tumour never occurred to me luckily although it should have done after Mr SA. You're right, that would have been much worse .
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 5th Feb 18, 8:51 PM
    • 55,063 Posts
    • 220,011 Thanks
    beanielou
    MY chart is on paper but am sure a whiteboard would work well too.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
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