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    • Crazy Diamond
    • By Crazy Diamond 7th Sep 17, 12:21 PM
    • 105Posts
    • 55Thanks
    Crazy Diamond
    My husband wants to leave me if I donít have more children
    • #1
    • 7th Sep 17, 12:21 PM
    My husband wants to leave me if I donít have more children 7th Sep 17 at 12:21 PM
    I am really confused. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and we have a son who is 6 and has Fragile X and autism. My husband has always wanted a large family however I have been uncertain about having more children because of the effort taken in looking after one child with learning disabilities. Having recently turned 40 my husband is desperate for more children. I am 3 years younger.

    As Fragile X is a genetic condition (I am the carrier) we have been exploring pre-implantation genetic diagnosis which is basically IVF where the embryo is screened before it is implanted. I have a 50% chance of passing on the gene if I have a child naturally. One of the issues however with being a Fragile X carrier is ovarian failure and I found out that embryo screening will not be effective due to my limited egg supply.

    We could try egg donation at a cost of £16k per cycle (with 50% chance of success) or natural pregnancy and then amniocentesis at 12 weeks to test for fragile x. We have agreed however we do not want another child with fragile x and there would be a 50% chance that I would need an abortion at 12 weeks.

    I have been thinking that I would like another child although mainly because I would like someone else there for our son as he does will have any other family after we die and will need support when he is an adult. I am very unsure of these other options though as I do not want an abortion at 12 weeks and I am unsure about egg donation given the cost, the probability of success and the fact the baby would not be genetically mine.

    My husband has been putting lots of pressure on me to make a decision. He basically said that he wants a Ďproper familyí and that if I do not have another child he will find a surrogate or a new partner. Although he loves our son he wants what he calls a Ďnormal childí and is prepared to leave us to get this.

    Before he started to pressurise me I was coming round to the idea of egg donation however his attitude is now making me question why I am with him. He does have a great relationship with our son and I donít think I could cope with our son on my own due to both financial issues and his needs. I do work part time but my salary is quite low as I have been putting our son before my career.

    I really donít know what to do now. Any advice would be appreciated.
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    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 13th Sep 17, 7:12 PM
    • 24,498 Posts
    • 97,249 Thanks
    Jojo the Tightfisted
    If you were to agree to try for a 'natural' conception, there wouldn't be any reason to suspect you'd had a depo provera injection every 12 weeks, would there?

    That might give you some time to work out whether you want to stay with such an Arzehole or whether he's setting the scene for an 'I've met somebody and we're going to have a perfect baby because you wouldn't' announcement over the next year or so (ie, he's already up to something and is trying to decide whether to stay or go and be stung for maintenance - and having another child is his pathetic way of deciding).
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
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