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    • Jenna64
    • By Jenna64 5th Sep 17, 9:31 PM
    • 55Posts
    • 8Thanks
    Concerned about a neighbour
    • #1
    • 5th Sep 17, 9:31 PM
    Concerned about a neighbour 5th Sep 17 at 9:31 PM

    I know someone who's got some mental disabilities but I don't think they are being fully noticed by their doctor, because they function so well. They are 60 years old, they are working, but their home is full of junk, so cluttered that it's hard to walk in there sometimes (not all times as they do tidy here and there when it gets overwhelming).

    The other day they were ranting and raving out by their car, not inappropriately, just to themselves, while loading the car. I stopped to talk and they said no one seems to realise 'how bad I am,' and 'I forget everything, I can't organise myself at all.' They said they'd forgotten appointments that day, they'd lost relevant documents that they needed that day, etc.

    They live on their own. I don't get the impression it's dementia because they said they've always been like this, that they have autistic features (never been diagnosed), dyspraxia and other cognitive disabilities. They said they think their memory is less of a problem, it's that they get totally distracted by everything, and so they forget what they should be focussing on. They had some testing in the past but I think it was before autism was diagnosed as well as it is now. They also seem to have problems similar to adhd.

    I went in for a cup of tea (and yes, they are clean and fussy about their cups, etc, that's just it they are properly sociable in all other respects, even help others in the community), and I could smell mould. I told them and they said they can't find any but they think it might just be papers etc that are damp (they have a LOT of stuff). I said the mould isn't good for them, but I didn't know what else to say.

    Is there anything social services would do for someone like this? If so I would suggest it to them. They just seem to be struggling on their own and have no family and I think they would welcome any support there is to get their home organised/cleaned. They admit to a hoarding problem.

    I'm just thinking out loud really. I'm just concerned that people have to get really bad before it's recognised that they need support.

    Any thoughts?
Page 1
    • venison
    • By venison 5th Sep 17, 11:33 PM
    • 2,223 Posts
    • 2,403 Thanks
    • #2
    • 5th Sep 17, 11:33 PM
    • #2
    • 5th Sep 17, 11:33 PM
    Personally I would have a chat to social services, theres little else you can do.
    Former Board Guide
    • 50Twuncle
    • By 50Twuncle 7th Sep 17, 8:39 AM
    • 8,387 Posts
    • 1,984 Thanks
    • #3
    • 7th Sep 17, 8:39 AM
    • #3
    • 7th Sep 17, 8:39 AM
    Or try (somehow) to find out whether they have any relatives that you can contact ?
    Do they live in their "own" home or is rented ?
    • Fen1
    • By Fen1 7th Sep 17, 9:48 AM
    • 1,416 Posts
    • 5,548 Thanks
    • #4
    • 7th Sep 17, 9:48 AM
    • #4
    • 7th Sep 17, 9:48 AM
    As they are 60, Age UK ( used to be Help the Aged ) might be able to offer advice.
    If you think they might be on the autistic spectrum, look on their website for further information.
    • KxMx
    • By KxMx 7th Sep 17, 3:21 PM
    • 7,409 Posts
    • 10,694 Thanks
    • #5
    • 7th Sep 17, 3:21 PM
    • #5
    • 7th Sep 17, 3:21 PM
    Mum just turned 60 & approached Age Concern for some pension advice, their reply was she was too young for them to help!
    • Jenna64
    • By Jenna64 9th Sep 17, 11:21 PM
    • 55 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    • #6
    • 9th Sep 17, 11:21 PM
    • #6
    • 9th Sep 17, 11:21 PM
    Thanks. It's rented. They have no family left sadly.

    I think they'd be open to having some support, even if it were just temporary to get them back on track, but I don't want to suggest anything unless I know there's something. Perhaps I could ask social services myself but without mentioning the name of this person, just to see if there would be anything available.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 9th Sep 17, 11:33 PM
    • 16,738 Posts
    • 42,234 Thanks
    • #7
    • 9th Sep 17, 11:33 PM
    • #7
    • 9th Sep 17, 11:33 PM
    They can request an assessment under the Care Act - information on how to do this will be on the local authority website. This should identify any needs and assess whether the need is severe enough to meet the threshold for services. Your neighbour can request advocacy support if for any reason they would have substantial difficulty in being involved in the assessment.
    Having said that, due to cuts the threshold is now quite high so if they only have a mild/moderate need for support then they may not qualify.

    With regards to the hoarding, that's a different issue, more psychological than cognitive and tends to be more deep rooted than just not being able to get organised - have they ever asked their GP if there is any local support for this? That would probably be the first step.
    Last edited by elsien; 09-09-2017 at 11:35 PM.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • SandraScarlett
    • By SandraScarlett 12th Sep 17, 11:45 PM
    • 3,921 Posts
    • 28,741 Thanks
    • #8
    • 12th Sep 17, 11:45 PM
    • #8
    • 12th Sep 17, 11:45 PM
    What a kind person you are, in this uncaring world, to be concerned about a neighbour. I was once very worried about the health of my frail neighbours, who I then thought of as elderly, but were probably younger than I am now!

    I visited our GP, had a chat about my concerns, and he went round on the pretext that the surgery was checking up on all their pensioners. But this was about 45 years ago, when the Data Protection Act didn't exist and you saw the GP the same day.

    I think the advice you've been given is good, and at least you're trying to help.
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