Partners and friends of the opposite sex

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  • Izadora
    Izadora Posts: 2,047 Forumite
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    Pay_me wrote: »
    The only way I see is to give in to her demands, but, where does that stop?

    If it's anything like the situation between one of my mates and his ex-wife, not allowed to see any of your friends, minimal contact with your family and screaming rows if you're more than 10 minutes late home from work.

    My husband and I both have friends of the opposite sex, including exes, and there are times when I can be incredibly insecure but neither of us would ever dream of dictating who the other can and can't be friends with. I trust that he's chosen to be with me and therefore won't cheat on me.

    I've always felt that if I have to make a choice between two people I'll go with the one who's not forcing me to choose.
  • Coinmachine
    Coinmachine Posts: 225 Forumite
    heartbreak_star wrote: »
    (Also, what's the hobby? I'm intrigued!!)

    HBS x

    My guess is metal detectorists.
    I'm a greenfield sight for sore eyes, and sore eyes are just needing the light, the shapes, and the shadows of the space we share, before it splits into Thin Air.
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    Friends, no issues with that.


    Exes I tend to be a bit more concerned with. I think I'd like to understand the relationship a bit more. I.E. broke up mutually, just wasn't what either party wanted, fair enough. But if the break up is emotional and one party was aggrieved, I'd be slightly more concerned. The time since etc would also play a part.


    that said I wouldn't give ultimatums, I'd just consider if I felt comfortable and secure.
  • Out,_Vile_Jelly
    Out,_Vile_Jelly Posts: 4,842 Forumite
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    I find people who don't have friends of the opposite sex, and who are suspicious of those who do quite weird to be honest.

    Maybe it's because I'm entering middle age now, but I'm just heartily bored with all the emotional drama and hysterics some people seem to invite into their lives. Issuing an ultimatum, like some yelling fishwife in a soap? Checking your Facebook for evidence like a teenage drama queen? Who has time for this? Hang out with your nice, normal friend and her bloke, maybe they can introduce you to some nice, normal women.

    PS I'm off out for a drink with a (married, opposite sex) old friend tonight.
    They are an EYESORES!!!!
  • System
    System Posts: 178,093 Community Admin
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Post
    ... depends on how close they are.
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,171 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Friends are for life, partners come and go.
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,199 Forumite
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    I'd be concerned about B's controlling behaviour and jealousy.
    A relationship should be a partnership, where you both trust and support one another.

    The fact that her response to you pushing back is to go to ultimatums and threats is also worrying.

    Ideally, you and she would be able to talk and to discuss why she feels so strongly about this, and whether she is willing to try to change.

    But if she isn't willing / able to discuss it or to acknowledge that this type of controlling behaviour isn't normal, then you would be better off ending the relationship and looking for a new partner who doesn't automatically assume the worst about you.

    It's also worth bearing in mind that this sort of thing is unlikely to get better unless the person doing it is able to recognise that they have a problem, and is willing to work, hard, to change.

    It's behavior which potentially falls within the definition of an abusive relationship (Potentially as a lot depends on severity and context).

    It's one thing to agree, for the sake of a relationship, that one of you will break ties with someone outside that relationship (it might be reasonable here one party has had an affair, for example, for breaking ties with the person they cheated with to be a necessary component of any reconciliation), but this sounds as though she has an issue with A because A is a woman. Are you willing to give up your friends, and limit future friendships to men only?
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • heartbreak_star
    heartbreak_star Posts: 8,286 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker Rampant Recycler
    Coinmachine wrote: »
    My guess is metal detectorists.

    I was thinking LARP. It ties in almost exactly regarding descriptions haha!

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Bremainer
  • NineDeuce
    NineDeuce Posts: 997 Forumite
    Tell her that she is not allowed to have a relationship with her entire family as a compromise....
  • Ozzuk
    Ozzuk Posts: 1,884 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    If she is exhibiting that level of crazy so early on I'd run for the hills!
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