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  • FIRST POST
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 30th Jul 17, 7:22 AM
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    • 4,902Thanks
    MrsSave
    Mrs S, family life and debt
    • #1
    • 30th Jul 17, 7:22 AM
    Mrs S, family life and debt 30th Jul 17 at 7:22 AM
    This is my 4th diary. I'll link the others in case anyone has absolutely nothing to do and fancies a read!

    Diary 1: MrsS is getting serious http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5045594

    Diary 2: Debt free before 35 http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5286098

    Diary 3: A pound stretching maternity
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5495440

    So, who is Mrs S?

    I'm in my mid early 30's and a mum to 2 lovely little boys. My second maternity leave is just coming to an end (sob). I'm a teacher but looking for a career change. I mentioned this career change back in diary 1, but I'm finally doing something about it. I have 2 job interviews next week and I'm still searching and applying for others.

    Debt

    I guess I wouldn't be starting a new diary if I didn't have any debts. Maternity leave and retraining has meant that the debt we had beforehand has increased. Significantly. I'm gutted, but from the retraining side, I just had to do it. Today, our debts stand at:

    Loan: 9,906.30
    Credit Card: 6,480.60

    We also have a mortgage of 92,720.52

    Excluding the mortgage, our current debt figure is 16,386.90. That's massive.

    So what are we doing about it?

    Not adding to it any more, that's to start! The problem is that a lot depends on whether I find work quickly. In an ideal world I will be working by September (even if it's something unrelated to what I actually want to do, as we need a second income).

    Using YNAB. I've used YNAB for a few years now, and love it. It's so clear in showing how much money we actually have, and splitting it between different pots.

    Paying 266.40 towards the loan every month, and around 65-70 towards the card. The card is a very recent balance transfer, so not 100% sure on exact figures yet, but 1% is the minimum balance. I'm not sure whether to stick with the minimum, or a set amount each month. The set amount won't be much higher than the minimum, but obviously won't decrease every month. Possibly 65 per month. That means we will be paying 331.40 towards our debt each month. At this rate it would take 50 months to clear. 4 years, 2 months.

    Budgeting and treats

    I allow treats. They're budgeted for. I would fall flat on my face if we weren't allowed our treats. We do have little breaks away sometimes (not abroad, we haven't been abroad since our honeymoon). We save for them, though and pay with the money we have and not add to the debt. We have the odd takeaway and meal out, we have days out. I treat the boys on their birthdays and Christmas. I have this year started paying into Park for Vouchers in time for Christmas. I've budgeted for that every month.

    We put money into our car pot each month for the MOT and any extras it needs. Our car is 12 years old, and up until recently hasn't needed anything doing to it. A couple of little things are starting to need changing now so I'm hoping we'll have a few more years before the car get sorted too expensive. I do love my car! It's nothing special, not fancy and was cheap to buy with low mileage (we've had the car about 5 years).

    Right, I've probably bored anyone who's reading this enough for a first 'All about me' post.
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - 24.02/20 June - 23.59/20
    Accounts Skim: May - 35.92 June - 6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
Page 26
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 10th Mar 18, 6:32 AM
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    • 4,902 Thanks
    MrsSave
    It's actually happening today - our day out with ds1 that has been planned for weeks but we kept having to cancel. We're leaving the house in an hour so I really should be in the shower already!! At least we're having a picnic breakfast so don't have to worry about feeding ds1 before leaving - it's just clothes and teeth for him!!

    I've put money aside for today and everything is being split 50:50 with Mr S. I have a voucher on my phone for a free meal for ds1 for lunch and we're off to TGI Fridays, which is a treat for us - our nearest is Cardiff - quite a few miles away!!

    Right, I really had better get shifting, I'm so looking forward to seeing a very happy ds1 (whilst I'm sure ds2 will have a lovely time with his grandmother and seeing his Auntie!).
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - 24.02/20 June - 23.59/20
    Accounts Skim: May - 35.92 June - 6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Mar 18, 6:42 AM
    • 1,266 Posts
    • 4,805 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hope you have a lovely day.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 43,953 , Family 39,264 total debt 83,217

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 10th Mar 18, 6:49 AM
    • 1,462 Posts
    • 6,982 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    Have a great day.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = 400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s 34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 1600ish/2,500
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 10th Mar 18, 11:50 AM
    • 1,442 Posts
    • 6,847 Thanks
    MeandO
    Have a lovely day! Xx
    Mortgage Feb 2015: 102,000 Mortgage now: 75,900

    2018 OP's: J:129.26 F:287 M:150 A:157.31 M:164.19 J:427.95
    Emergency Fund: 1000/5000
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 11th Mar 18, 9:53 PM
    • 1,545 Posts
    • 4,902 Thanks
    MrsSave
    Thank you We had a lovely day yesterday, and another lovely day today. I was planning a super early night, but just as I was tidying up the living room, I heard ds1 coughing in that certain way.......and he's been pretty sick since!! Poor little monkey. It wasn't all that long ago that he had a sickness bug, and it really knocked him. I'm hoping it's not as bad this time. I feel at the moment that one of us is always poorly......the joys of children I guess!! I really hate seeing them poorly, though.

    I eventually got through to Mr S to tell him (his mobile was on silent - by mistake apparently so I had to phone his mother, who had no idea who I was!!! I mean we've only been separated a couple of months after being together almost 10 years!!!) so he is here now sleeping in with ds1.

    Looking at the positives, I will have an extra 5 at least for the 'leftover pot' which will be split between savings and mortgage overpayment at the end of the month as ds1 won't be in school to have his school dinners for the next 2 days at least!!

    My plan tomorrow was the food shop, but I'll have to see what Mr S' plans are first to see whether I'll be going or not. Ds2 has an appointment with the health visitor tomorrow as well, but we'll have to see whether we'll have to cancel or whether someone can stay home with ds1.
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - 24.02/20 June - 23.59/20
    Accounts Skim: May - 35.92 June - 6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 13th Mar 18, 5:48 AM
    • 1,545 Posts
    • 4,902 Thanks
    MrsSave
    Thankfully ds1 is much better. It may have been too much rich food after 1 too many meals out over the weekend. Ds2 isn't 100% though, and his temperature keeps jumping up to around 39.5. It comes back down with medicine, but looks like he's fighting another virus.

    I did manage to get to the supermarket. I didn't take a list, didn't have a meal plan and decided to get a fortnight's worth of things as Aldi is closing for a week for a refurb towards the end of this week. I usually budget around 45 a week, but yesterday came to 85. I will need fruit and milk next week, but that's it, so fingers crossed I won't be too much over the 90.

    I then meal planned yesterday afternoon for the next 2 weeks, using the food that I had bought. Starting with pulled pork today - yum!!

    I need to get on with the housework today. All I did yesterday was the food shopping and washed all ds1's bedclothes and bits from Sunday night. The laundry basket is filling once more, and pushing the hoover around would be good!
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - 24.02/20 June - 23.59/20
    Accounts Skim: May - 35.92 June - 6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 13th Mar 18, 6:12 AM
    • 1,545 Posts
    • 4,902 Thanks
    MrsSave
    Aaaaarrrrgggghhh!! What a good start to Tuesday. I just checked my bank accounts and it seems I've been using the wrong chequebook. The last fortnight's dinner money payments have come out of the wrong account, one where I had no money in to start. Thankfully they only went out today, so I've managed to transfer the money straight over. I have a feeling that I've done that with another cheque too, will check when I properly get up!!! What a muppet!!!
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - 24.02/20 June - 23.59/20
    Accounts Skim: May - 35.92 June - 6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 13th Mar 18, 12:09 PM
    • 1,545 Posts
    • 4,902 Thanks
    MrsSave
    Ds1 being better didn't last long. He was sick again this morning. He has spent the morning in my bed watching cbeebies, and ds2 is very clingy/not himself, and is now in his cot for a second nap.

    I have been using the wrong chequebook! I had 2 new ones through the post recently, and I've been using the one for the empty account. Thankfully I noticed the same day the cheques left my account so shouldn't be any charges. I've transferred money to the account to cover the third cheque which is waiting to go out. I've also written across the front of the correct chequebook so I know which to use!!!

    I have put a pork joint in the slow cooker this morning and made a sauce with it to make pulled pork. I'm trying to lose a few pounds (ok, a couple of stone) once again, so I'm back following slimming world. I lost 2.5 pounds last week.....it's a start.
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - 24.02/20 June - 23.59/20
    Accounts Skim: May - 35.92 June - 6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 13th Mar 18, 12:16 PM
    • 1,442 Posts
    • 6,847 Thanks
    MeandO
    Oh no, sorry to hear both the boys are under the weather, it's rotten when they're poorly isn't it. Hope the 'bugs' disappear soon.

    Oops to the chequebook, but it's easily done and at least you spotted it immediately!

    Well done on the weight loss, I've been trying to lose the same two stone for a while. I find it really hard being the only adult in the house and cooking for one (my boy is a fussy eater). I really can't be &rsed half the time and just graze which doesn't help. I'm definitely a boredom and emotional eater but am trying to curb my bad habits... (It's not going well! ).
    x
    Mortgage Feb 2015: 102,000 Mortgage now: 75,900

    2018 OP's: J:129.26 F:287 M:150 A:157.31 M:164.19 J:427.95
    Emergency Fund: 1000/5000
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 13th Mar 18, 12:58 PM
    • 1,266 Posts
    • 4,805 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Well done on the weight loss and hope your boys start to feel better soon.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 43,953 , Family 39,264 total debt 83,217

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 18th Mar 18, 9:38 PM
    • 1,545 Posts
    • 4,902 Thanks
    MrsSave
    What a week!! Where to start?!

    Ds2 ended up in hospital due to 'asthma' (though they don't call it asthma at his age, just a wheeze on the chest). He's much better and happily at home again.

    Mr S and I had decided to see if things worked out between us by spending a little time together apart from the boys. No one else knew about this so that we weren't putting any pressure on anything. During the past 2 and a half months, I have had a load of rubbish said about me by more than one member of his family. He has done nothing to stand up to people to tell them it's not true. He has done nothing to protect me, to show that he loves me. There is more that he has done that next to no one knows about, which has always ended up with him apologising to me. He's hurt me emotionally, and basically stuck 2 fingers up at me.

    I've let a lot of this pass thinking he was hurt with what had happened. But something else has happened this weekend where he really should have spoken out. He didn't. So, I have tonight told him that there is no future and that I can't cope with him hurting me any longer. I have been feeling lower and lower recently and he is not helping. The funny thing is, with everything over the last few months there has been a lot of falling out. Tonight, there was none. I calmly and quietly told him that I wasn't happy, I am getting to the stage where I'm feeling really low, and I need to cut people who hurt me out. He eventually left but has now started texting. Saying things like I'm important because I'm the mum of his children. I mean what on earth??? It just proves that it's not me he wants.

    Onwards and upwards......

    I have also messed up dinner money, and paid with the wrong cheque book. The cheque book was for an empty account so I have some charges to deal with there!!!

    Tomorrow is another day and the start of a fresh new week. I have sorted out the dinner money (I hope correctly!!). It's food shopping day, so that will take most of the morning. I also lost a pound and a half last week, so something else to smile about!!!
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - 24.02/20 June - 23.59/20
    Accounts Skim: May - 35.92 June - 6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 18th Mar 18, 9:41 PM
    • 1,462 Posts
    • 6,982 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    Big hugs Mrs S.
    I hope you have a good week.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = 400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s 34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 1600ish/2,500
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 19th Mar 18, 6:04 AM
    • 1,266 Posts
    • 4,805 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Fresh week, hope it's a good one x
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 43,953 , Family 39,264 total debt 83,217

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 19th Mar 18, 9:03 AM
    • 1,442 Posts
    • 6,847 Thanks
    MeandO
    The same thing happened with my ex's family when we split up - we went from being 'family' to me being accused of all sorts of things overnight and being ejected from the family. I later found out that my ex had lied to them about me, which probably hurt the most, but they continued to treat me beadly afterwards. I did exactly as you MrsS, and cut all the negative people out of my life. You do not have to put up with these people and you can choose who is and who isn't in your life. I soon felt better about the whole thing and was able to move on.

    I now try my best to live by this philosophy - I try not to keep negative people around me - it's not always easy, but it's so easy to be dragged down by them so I try not to give them a chance to do so!

    I can see why you've tried again with MrS, but you can now acknowledge that you've given it your best shot, it hasn't worked, so it's time to start building your life with the boys. Hang on in there sweetheart, I know how low it can make you feel, but it does get easier. Feel free to PM me if you want someone to chat to xx
    Mortgage Feb 2015: 102,000 Mortgage now: 75,900

    2018 OP's: J:129.26 F:287 M:150 A:157.31 M:164.19 J:427.95
    Emergency Fund: 1000/5000
    • louby40
    • By louby40 20th Mar 18, 9:04 PM
    • 1,363 Posts
    • 3,694 Thanks
    louby40
    I too have been in a similar situation when I split with my ex husband. We spent some time apart and then together to see if we could make it work.

    My boys were 3 and 5 when he eventually left for good. I came to realise that I couldn't keep having him back in the house and had to cut ALL ties. No days out as a family, no staying over for tea etc.

    I had to go it alone. It was hard but every time he came back it was upsetting. He rented his own flat and started having the boys on his own.

    When they were ill I just got on with it, when they were naughty, argued, fought and I felt like screaming I just got on with it.

    They are now 14 and 18 and great kids!
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 25th Mar 18, 8:47 AM
    • 1,545 Posts
    • 4,902 Thanks
    MrsSave
    Thank you for all your posts. It's so difficult to know what the right thing to do is, and how things will work long term. We had a proper 'chat' Thursday night, and things seem to have been much better since then. Who knows how things will even be by this time next week though!!!

    Another week over, though. And an hour less of day today. I'm off to my parents for lunch today, so it will be lovely not having to cook. I've sorted out the freezer this morning. There was so much stuff in it, I didn't have a clue what we actually had. It's far more organised now!! I've also sorted out next week's meal plan and food shopping list this morning as well. Talking about food, I lost another 2 lbs at slimming world, so that's 6 lbs in 3 weeks. Slow but steady!!

    Money wise, I should be getting 25 (I think) soon from switching energy suppliers through mse. I got an email this week saying it is on it's way! It's almost payday as well (Thursday) so I need to sort out next month's finances. I received a letter showing how much council tax I'll be paying this year, so can sort that into the budget.

    Right, I'm going to make the most of a quiet house and child free time before I pick the boys up to go for lunch. Have a lovely Sunday x
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - 24.02/20 June - 23.59/20
    Accounts Skim: May - 35.92 June - 6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 26th Mar 18, 10:36 PM
    • 1,545 Posts
    • 4,902 Thanks
    MrsSave
    Monday's disappeared somewhere. Ds2 decided that going to sleep when it was daylight was not happening last night. He naps fine in the day, but there was no way he was settling last night. Took 2 hours of screaming (him, not me ). Today I spent 15 on a blackout blind for his window. Wasn't a planned spend, but a must for my own sanity! Tonight, he was asleep within moments. The joys of children

    As well as the 15 I also spent almost 5 on batteries The batteries in the boys' thermometer had gone flat and needed replacing, but it was one of those 3V cost a fortune ones. I bought a pack of 2 for 4.50.

    Food shopping day today, as well. I ended spending 50 and a few pence. I guess it was a little on the expensive side, but I did get a lot. The majority came from Aldi, though I had to pop to Tesco to pick up a few extras. I bought lots of meat today, and spent around 16 between cooked and raw meat.

    I also did a couple of loads of washing whilst ds2 was making up from his lack of sleep last night (3.5 hour nap today!!).

    My credit card statement should be ready tomorrow, and it looks like it will be 200 ish cheaper than last month

    Tomorrow I may take a few bags of rubbish to the tip, sort some of ds2's clothes out for his next size, another load of laundry and clean the oven.
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - 24.02/20 June - 23.59/20
    Accounts Skim: May - 35.92 June - 6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 27th Mar 18, 8:29 PM
    • 1,545 Posts
    • 4,902 Thanks
    MrsSave
    I got half way through my list. I did a load of laundry, and took some rubbish to the dump. Other than that I haven't done lol that much except cook, play with ds2 and went to ds1's parents evening. His parents evening was fantastic, they gave targets (the ones I had predicted beforehand - he's not a fan of writing!!!) but his teacher said that his reading and maths were both excellent, way above where they expect them to be at his age, and that he's also very well behaved (on the whole at a guess. I'm sure he has his moments). He had beige junk for dinner as a treat turkey dinosaurs and smiley faces I stuck with my slimming world though, and made Chinese style crispy chilli beef for myself.

    The credit card statement was online, so I have paid that in full. It was almost 200 less than last month so I'm super chuffed with that.

    Work for me tomorrow, but I'm only in 2 days this weeks because of Good Friday. Thursday is also payday, so looking forward to being able to get everything sorted for April. I need to add up how much I've spent on food this month (though don't think I've spent a penny on eating out ).
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - 24.02/20 June - 23.59/20
    Accounts Skim: May - 35.92 June - 6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 27th Mar 18, 8:46 PM
    • 1,545 Posts
    • 4,902 Thanks
    MrsSave
    I've quickly totted up the supermarket shops this month - 251.92, which works out at 62.98 a week (this week has been a 4 week month for me). It's too high, but could be a lot worse, basically.

    I've just looked back, and during 2017 I spent an average 105 per week on food shopping. I'm very pleased with the reduction from that, especially as I feel like I'm buying 'better' food now, lots of raw ingredients and meat. There are some items I'm buying better quality versions of instead of however cheap I can get it despite how it tastes.

    A little work to be done, let's see if I can get it under 60 a week next month (5 week month, so under 300 for April).

    Edited to add: I've just looked back at February as well...

    Month: 264.20
    Week: 66.05
    Last edited by MrsSave; 27-03-2018 at 8:49 PM.
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - 24.02/20 June - 23.59/20
    Accounts Skim: May - 35.92 June - 6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 27th Mar 18, 9:44 PM
    • 1,462 Posts
    • 6,982 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    I think those grocery shops are good going Mrs S - does that include 'household things' as well as food?

    My food for March is looking to be about 170 and household (which includes nappies, cat litter, cat food and some 1 off expenses' ) about 80.

    I'd love to get it even lower but hubby does not believe it's food unless there is meat on the plate so that reduces the option of cheaper, meat free meals.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = 400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s 34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 1600ish/2,500
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