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    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 29th Jul 17, 2:06 PM
    • 6,735Posts
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    The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14)
    • #1
    • 29th Jul 17, 2:06 PM
    The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14) 29th Jul 17 at 2:06 PM
    Welcome. Here we are again, time for a new thread, new starts and new challenges.

    Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of In Search Of Me's (ISOM) original post in Part 1:

    24th February 2008

    In Search Of Me "There are a few of us who want to give up/cut down & I thought it would be good to widen the net to support each other along the way!
    For me alch & feeling good for the time I'm drinking & then rubbish after go hand in hand. A bit like drinking & smoking & drinking & getting the munchies! Last year I gave up alch & fags for 10 months & then "slipped" towards Christmas until by Jan I was doing both with alarming regularity. I dread to think how much both cost me financially and I know physically that I've felt rubbish. My lungs hurt, have put on weight & literally none of my clothes fit so I will have to buy more - which means a dent in my budget that I can ill afford. My skin is also yukky & much nicer when I dont drink/smoke!
    I had my last ciggies the night before last & last wine on Tues. I know I will feel 100% better when I crack it but also know it will be hard. One disadvantage here is that all too often DFW "parties" tend to involve alcohol so I'm also hoping that this can possibly be a safe haven for those of us who want, or need, to abstain, for now at least!
    Anway - I hope that this can be a place of real support for people who are sturggling. I do wonder whether there is a link between debt & drinking as from the Jan thread it was obvious that so many struggle to give up! Plus I know for me that I feel much hapier and in control when I dont drink (or drink in moderation) - which of course begs the question "why do I do it?"! Anyway, I do but will now try not t ad hope some of you wil join in. Some days I know I wil fail, just as I do with my debt free journey and I am more than happy to be given a swift (but nice!) kicking when I do! Hugs all and dare I say... but this time with water!!
    And here's what she started!!! :

    Part 13 is Here

    Part 12 is HERE

    Part 11 is HERE

    Part 10 is HERE

    Part 9 is HERE

    Part 8 is HERE

    Part 7 is HERE

    Part 6 is HERE

    Part 5 is HERE

    Part 4 is HERE

    Part 3 is HERE

    Part 2 is HERE

    and the original starting thread is HERE

    Here is a post from back on thread 1 or 2.

    Springwatch Girl Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life"

    Good Luck Everyone!

    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
Page 31
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 4th Oct 17, 8:20 PM
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    4/24 AFDs today
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 4th Oct 17, 8:23 PM
    • 1,401 Posts
    • 5,399 Thanks
    4/24 please

    Thank you HB and Maman (and all).
    I do think you are very strong HB. I'm not sure I would be very good if I lived with someone who was drinking next to me.
    One of my friends is doing the stopping drinking for the whole of October and I think it makes it so much easier with a partner. We went for lunch earlier in the week and no drinks and then tonight after work drinks and no alcohol.

    Tommorow going to my parents so should manage another day hopefully.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 5th Oct 17, 5:23 AM
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    AFD 3/10 for me please
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: 6200.00 Cap 1: 395.80 BC: 6841.81
    AFD xxx LTW 6/16
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    20p Savers 2018 2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • maggiem
    • By maggiem 5th Oct 17, 6:12 AM
    • 376 Posts
    • 2,499 Thanks
    y4/15 please - managed to remain AFD last night and intend to not drink tonight so hopefully will have made a good start to October as I intend to have a drink on Friday and Saturday.

    I don!!!8217;t think I could resist if my OH was drinking wine - in fact I!!!8217;m sure I could not HB. Shows the strength of your resolve, amazing.
    • takingonedayatatime
    • By takingonedayatatime 5th Oct 17, 10:15 AM
    • 29 Posts
    • 221 Thanks
    Hi Everyone,
    Can I join? I have been reading this thread on and off for 6 months and have known in my heart that my drinking was becoming an issue. Every night after my youngest two are in bed and I sit down it is ALWAYS time for a glass of wine and then another and then another. Every morning, I wake up feeling awful and wonder why I drank so much when I know I have to get children up and to school and nursery. I started reading this thread last week and, on Wednesday last week, I had my last glass of wine. Originally, I was going to stop for a few weeks but still drink when I go out, however, I have been reading Honey Bears posts and see so many similarities to me.. drinking when no-one thinks I am, becoming unpleasant when I drink - especially to my wonderful husband. And then Honey Bear mentioned Belle's blog and I had a look.. Well if reading the first month of her blog wasn't a serious light bulb moment for me I'm not sure what was. I cannot moderate my drinking (tried and failed too many times). So I have decided to stop altogether. Its scary - no drinking with friends, birthdays, Christmas, barbeques, because its there......

    So for this month I am on 4/31 plese Shaggy
    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 5th Oct 17, 11:25 AM
    • 901 Posts
    • 6,996 Thanks
    Welcome takingonedayatatime

    Congratulations on taking the first steps & I wish you all the best in your AF journey - we will all be routing for you

    Declaring early for tonight on 3/14 please Shaggy
    • Green Karen
    • By Green Karen 5th Oct 17, 1:48 PM
    • 261 Posts
    • 2,345 Thanks
    Green Karen
    Welcome and good luck takingonedayatatime! Big decision, all the best
    4/14 TF for me please.
    • maman
    • By maman 5th Oct 17, 2:35 PM
    • 18,004 Posts
    • 107,724 Thanks
    Welcome onedayatatime. Well done for deciding to stop reading and take the plunge.

    No drinking planned for me today.

    4 AFDs please Shaggy.
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 5th Oct 17, 2:40 PM
    • 5,100 Posts
    • 50,922 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Welcome One Day at a Time! Exellent name, by the way. I'm so pleased you've posted! May I suggest that you keep posting every day now you're here? It helps keep me on the straight and narrow and it helps enormously that we all cheer each other on. It makes a huge difference to me and I can't see a day any time soon that I'd want to be without this thread - thanks to everyone who posts, for the fabulous Shaggy's scoring.

    As for Belle - hurrah! I don't know whether I would have made it without her support, but I doubt it. I didn't use all of her services, in fact very few of them, but I did sign up to the 100 Day Challenge which includes daily emails and she always, always pinged a reply back (other than a week here or there when she was on holiday) for well over a year.

    Whenever I asked a question she always replied and I'm still in touch with her - every annual anniversary I use her a Tiny Gift button and tell her I'm still off the booze. I don't give her a fraction of the amount I've saved on the cost of the booze I'd have still been drinking if it wasn't for her, either so it's the least I can do.

    If you do sign up, she'll allocate you a place in her records, and even if you don't contact her again for months or years - you keep that spot. It's yours forever. She knows exactly how many find it too tough to carry on and need a second chance, and she'll still be there if that happens. I found that amazingly reassuring.

    Huge good luck with it. If you'd like to go back to my beginning it's all on the previous thread, and I started here, post number 2569. I'm only suggesting it as a bit of light reading because despite the fact that I read dozens of books and blogs by women who have knocked drinking on the head, a lot of the things I experienced hadn't been mentioned them in them - such as feeling utterly exhausted for the first few weeks. When I commented on it on this forum as I was going through it someone commented the same day, saying it was because I'd massively cut back on sugar consumption by cutting out booze which I found hugely helpful. And it meant I could put myself on a, 'I'm allowed as much chocolate as I want to eat for a few weeks while I give up the booze' diet. Faaaaaannnnnntastic.

    Someone else on here mentioned Becks Blue the first time and despite the fact that Belle says she doesn't believe anyone drinking AF beer or wine is really alcohol free - it's worked for me for three and a half years, so we have a difference of opinion on that matter. (I also eat liqueur chocolates occasionally - bad me!)

    Either way, whatever you decide to do and how you decide to do it, good luck with it. We're all rooting for you.

    Welcome back, Green Karen! I find posting daily really helps, and I'd do it even if I were target-free. It kind of focusses my mind.

    Thanks SukeyBoo, Maggie M, PSL and Maman for your comments about being around people who are drinking. It's not so much resolve, it's such a habit not to drink I get surprised by the thought that I could, or can, or might. Mostly I'm absolutely fine with it, but just occasionally ugly temptation does rear it's head again, although not very often. What was so surprising was that it happened twice within a matter of two or three days, and it's been a long time since that happened. It's a very fleeting thing when it does and so far kicking it into touch hasn't been difficult, but it's a saluatory lesson that I suppose I'll never be entirely free of it. Bit of a bummer but there you go, worse things could have happened.

    In my drinking days I always wondered how people could cope not drinking and when I stopped one of the things I felt very, very keenly was that I'd lost a freedom. Lost the freedom to drink without thinking about whether I should or not, lost the freedom of being carefree about drinking, lost the freedom to be the same as everyone else. Actually, I'd lost all of those freedoms several years before I stopped because none of them applied to me for at least 10 years before I gave up the booze but at the time I didn't fully realise that.

    By contrast, now I have completely new freedoms that I didn't know existed, namely freedom from hangovers, freedom from the guilt of waking up knowing or wondering if I'd said something offensive, freedom from worrying whether there was enough left in the bottle for me to help myself without appearing greedy, fear of doing something to my body that massively increases the chances of several cancers. And so on. There are lots more, but you get the picture. Lots of freedoms, none of which I realised I'd lost because they all crept up on me and I hadn't noticed.

    OH now drinks a glass (or two very occasionally) most nights, whereas before we'd polish off a bottle between us every night without thinking twice about it, and often then open another one .... He does over-indulge when his team wins, or sometimes just because, but it's very rare now. He's really, really good at controlling his intake, and I just never was. I honestly don't mind him drinking and I don't even think about it for myself at all, ever, which is why the temptation came as such a surprise.

    Pretty much every day - I don't miss it, is what I'm saying. That's rather fantastic, really, and the recent tempting, fleeting thought has just reminded me of that. It's like everything in life, I suppose; nothing is exactly as you thought it would be, but it's pretty marvellous in a different and unexpected way.

    5/31 please, Shaggy.
    Last edited by Honey Bear; 05-10-2017 at 2:44 PM.
    Keeping it AF
    • maman
    • By maman 5th Oct 17, 2:49 PM
    • 18,004 Posts
    • 107,724 Thanks
    Wise words HB. Thank you.

    He does over-indulge when his team wins, or sometimes just because, but it's very rare now.
    Originally posted by Honey Bear

    He should try supporting my team, he'd be AF in no time!
    • takingonedayatatime
    • By takingonedayatatime 5th Oct 17, 4:10 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 221 Thanks
    Thank you Sukeyboo, Green Karen, maman and Honey Bear for your warm welcome. This is the first time I have ever commented on blogs and its already good to know that you're around.

    Honey Bear - I definitely plan to post every day while on this journey. I'm not sure what to expect along the way - at the moment I'm still on the 'I'm going to miss out on things...' phase rather than 'I want to do this for me, my health, my children and my husband.. (and to a lesser extent my wallet)' phase.

    You're comments on sleeping lots has struck a chord.. last night I went to bed at 8.30 and woke at 7.00 this morning. Right now I am sitting with a mild headache which has been there on and off since last Thursday.. Both of these things can be attributed to less sugar so I'm trying to bear with it for a while. I'd love to eat more chocolate but I have gone up 2 dress sizes in a year so really need to reign the chocolate in a bit!!

    Belle has a style of writing that seems to hit home a lot. I am only up to day 49 of her journey and am reading a little each night at my normal 'wine' time and it is helping greatly. I will take a look at the 100 day challenge and will go from there. I need all the help I can get! ;-)

    The only concern I have in the immediate future is that I am out with a friend on the 14th October and historically, these days out are always focused on alcohol. I am still looking forward to going out as we have planned charity book shopping and a coffee but I know that when these activities are done it would be normal to go to a bar and drink and when I say thanks by no thanks - there will be raised eyebrows.... So, do I mention it beforehand to give her a chance to cancel or just go and be strong?

    Thank you again for the welcome everyone - I really appreciate it.
    • pollyanna24
    • By pollyanna24 5th Oct 17, 4:18 PM
    • 3,816 Posts
    • 4,704 Thanks
    Haven't been here for a while (but I do read the thread every now and then), but I seem to have cracked the drinking (for now anyways).

    September was 20 days AF (unheard of for me) and I'm up to 3 this month already. I haven't set myself any targets as such, but I just go with the flow and try not to think about it.

    I'm still on the 5:2 and so I don't drink on fast days and try not to the day before a fast.

    Usually I would drink on a Thursday to celebrate no work on Friday, but I still have to get up with the kids, so fast on a Thursday to take away the temptation.

    I'm getting there. I treat myself to a bottle of cava on a Friday and Saturday as something to look forward to.
    Pink Sproglettes born 2008 and 2010
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    • maman
    • By maman 5th Oct 17, 4:28 PM
    • 18,004 Posts
    • 107,724 Thanks
    Good to hear you're doing well Pollyanna. It's often the case that people who don't post regularly stop because they've fallen off the wagon. Not you though. Well done! Sounds like you're doing 5:2 with the cava as well! Not a diet I've heard of before but if it works then don't knock it!

    If it's a longstanding 'go to the pub' with your friend and you want to stop after a coffee then I think I would tell your friend in advance oneday (hope you don't mind the short form). If you think you can go to the pub and be AF then it's not such a big deal although that's quite a big ask for you so early in your journey. I suppose it depends on whether you want to tell people in RL sooner rather than later. Have you told your husband? Friends? Family? It's not unusual to keep it to yourself in RL for a while but it's your choice.

    Incidentally, my DH hasn't had a drink this week yet. I only noticed yesterday. I think it's because he had a routine blood test and GP wants to talk to him about it.
    • takingonedayatatime
    • By takingonedayatatime 5th Oct 17, 4:49 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 221 Thanks
    Thanks maman.. I like the short version of my name so please do use it!

    My husband knows that I have decided to stop and is really supportive but I haven't told any of my friends yet. I have a couple who are teetotal by choice (super fit) and a couple who I do tend to drink with when we go out. I think you're right that I need to broach the subject before hand and see what happens - I think the thought of having that conversation will be harder than the actuality..

    Hope your husbands bloods come back OK... always worrying when the doctor 'wants to talk' x
    • Green Karen
    • By Green Karen 5th Oct 17, 6:57 PM
    • 261 Posts
    • 2,345 Thanks
    Green Karen
    Thanks HB for your comments on sugar withdrawal. I also forget to link alcohol with sugar. I massively craved sugar last night when I arrived home and not alcohol at all, which surprised me.

    Particularly difficult at the moment as I gave up sugar entirely from last Sunday onwards. That even means any ingredient in processed food such as pasta sauce, milk in drinks and fruit (except for my smoothie in a morning where I allow myself one piece of fruit with my veg).

    This was following some very inspirational speakers at a day I attended last Saturday.

    I am aware I am probably setting my sights too high as it's very difficult to live off hardly anything but vegetables, but I shall have to start thinking about normalising soon.
    • Arkers
    • By Arkers 5th Oct 17, 7:09 PM
    • 702 Posts
    • 5,574 Thanks
    Good evening everyone,

    I need to check in more often to keep me focused. Welcome OneDay, there is so much good advice and wise words from everyone here. I have found it to be a friendly and non-judgemental place. Good luck with your endeavours.

    3 AFD please Shaggy x

    Arkers x
    • CuppaTea
    • By CuppaTea 5th Oct 17, 7:47 PM
    • 812 Posts
    • 6,136 Thanks
    3/18 please shaggy
    I'm dealing with stuff.
    • tallyhoh
    • By tallyhoh 5th Oct 17, 7:56 PM
    • 2,120 Posts
    • 2,183 Thanks
    not had a drop for more than 3 weeks now but its still not easy. I didn't go without at least a bottle of wine a night for quite a few years (sometimes more).
    The legs have stopped that nasty aching but as I need a hip replacement that pain has taken over resulting in lack of sleep but I'm determined not to give in.
    The sugar cravings are serious but I'm cutting down bit by bit.

    takingonedayatatime good luck!

    Stopped Smoking October 2000. Saved 21,840 so far!
    • takingonedayatatime
    • By takingonedayatatime 6th Oct 17, 10:29 AM
    • 29 Posts
    • 221 Thanks
    Thank you all for the warm welcome.

    Spent last night reading through part 13 of this thread and it really helps to read other peoples stories. I originally went to the start of Honey Bears journey but soon realised that everyone's comments help. Another headache for me today and feel 'antsy' but still determined not to drink. overall 8 days AF.

    05/31 for this month so far. Thanks Shaggy
    • maman
    • By maman 6th Oct 17, 11:35 AM
    • 18,004 Posts
    • 107,724 Thanks
    Well done oneday. Determined is good. It's very early days for you yet but it does get easier in time but loads of willpower needed to begin with (well, forever really). The sense of achievement afterwards is good too!
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