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  • FIRST POST
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 29th Jul 17, 2:06 PM
    • 6,735Posts
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    shaggydoo
    The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14)
    • #1
    • 29th Jul 17, 2:06 PM
    The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14) 29th Jul 17 at 2:06 PM
    Welcome. Here we are again, time for a new thread, new starts and new challenges.

    Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of In Search Of Me's (ISOM) original post in Part 1:

    24th February 2008

    Quote:
    In Search Of Me "There are a few of us who want to give up/cut down & I thought it would be good to widen the net to support each other along the way!
    For me alch & feeling good for the time I'm drinking & then rubbish after go hand in hand. A bit like drinking & smoking & drinking & getting the munchies! Last year I gave up alch & fags for 10 months & then "slipped" towards Christmas until by Jan I was doing both with alarming regularity. I dread to think how much both cost me financially and I know physically that I've felt rubbish. My lungs hurt, have put on weight & literally none of my clothes fit so I will have to buy more - which means a dent in my budget that I can ill afford. My skin is also yukky & much nicer when I dont drink/smoke!
    I had my last ciggies the night before last & last wine on Tues. I know I will feel 100% better when I crack it but also know it will be hard. One disadvantage here is that all too often DFW "parties" tend to involve alcohol so I'm also hoping that this can possibly be a safe haven for those of us who want, or need, to abstain, for now at least!
    Anway - I hope that this can be a place of real support for people who are sturggling. I do wonder whether there is a link between debt & drinking as from the Jan thread it was obvious that so many struggle to give up! Plus I know for me that I feel much hapier and in control when I dont drink (or drink in moderation) - which of course begs the question "why do I do it?"! Anyway, I do but will now try not t ad hope some of you wil join in. Some days I know I wil fail, just as I do with my debt free journey and I am more than happy to be given a swift (but nice!) kicking when I do! Hugs all and dare I say... but this time with water!!
    And here's what she started!!! :

    Part 13 is Here

    Part 12 is HERE

    Part 11 is HERE

    Part 10 is HERE

    Part 9 is HERE

    Part 8 is HERE

    Part 7 is HERE

    Part 6 is HERE

    Part 5 is HERE

    Part 4 is HERE

    Part 3 is HERE

    Part 2 is HERE

    and the original starting thread is HERE

    Here is a post from back on thread 1 or 2.

    Quote:
    Springwatch Girl Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life"


    Good Luck Everyone!

    Shaggyx
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
Page 29
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 30th Sep 17, 11:29 PM
    • 6,085 Posts
    • 32,227 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Thanks for that, Alex. It creeps up on us. I was incredibly lucky in that I didn't start drinking daily until I was in my late 30s. If I'd started as young as you were encouraged to I'm not sure I'd have made it to 40, and boy am I glad that I stopped when I did.

    I post longer posts because someone else's post has started off a train of thought in my head. When I was going through the first couple of months of giving up in particular I found it difficult to find anything about how that felt to other people, and what the effect would be in the shorter term. Everyone who's been alcohol-free for a year or more is happy to share their thoughts on that, but that's not a lot of help while we're battling with the immediate temptation while we start to restructure our lives. I know you're cutting down rather than knocking it on the head, but most of the same things apply.

    I think the first time I experienced the sober walk home as opposed to the wandering weaving wobble I thought it was a miracle! And then it occurred to me that I wasn't going to feel sh*t in the morning and then waste the whole day because I felt slow and lethargic once the gyppy tummy and headache had passed, topped off by a wave of depression at about 5.00pm, and that made me a very happy bunny indeed.
    Originally posted by Honey Bear
    My parents have a healthy attitude to drinking; glass of wine with dinner and a nightcap before bed. I was introduced to nothing more than a glass of wine with dinner. They'd have been horrified to know how much I used to drink. I'd have never admitted it at the time but all the drinking I did during my university years was due to not having the confidence to speak to others sober. By the end of my undergrad I'd formed a habit which carried on until I joined MSE and wanted to save money. I don't think I ever admitted the true amount I spent on alcohol on here.

    Recently I've been back in touch with an old schoolfriend after he received treatment for an out of control cocaine habit. During our time at school he always was a bit of a liability and by all accounts was until this year. At the end of the summer my wife and I had a meal out with him and his (fairly recent) girlfriend, he told me he's never felt so alive since getting sober (completely gave up alcohol also). I've experienced something similar since drastically cutting down: no more daily hangovers and no wondering if I'd said anything inappropriate the night before. Also managed to give up drinking caffeine which has helped both my mental and physical health.

    Morning all, 29/30 for me please.

    AlexLK
    , I confess when I first read your father's comment it struck me as curious that the person who was drinking was asking the person who was not drinking if they had a problem! But I can see why not drinking might alert others to the fact that you have decided to cut down, which might in turn lead to that question.

    I can remember my parents giving me sherry when I was about 11, but that in itself is strange, since neither was really a drinker - they never drank at home. My dad said it was because his Sunday school teacher told him it was wrong. But my dad is an atheist! Go figure. I probably started drinking regularly by myself in my mid-20s. But I can remember being out on a school do in final year at a restaurant and I ordered a cocktail and drank it while the rest of the table stared at me with stolid faces. Ha ha! I don't regret it either, I'm afraid.
    Originally posted by cathybird
    Father knew I cut down drinking a few years back and I told him the other evening that I had decided not to drink in advance so wouldn't be having any wine with dinner. I think he probably found this a little strange and can remember I used to drink quite heavily. Whilst my parents weren't aware the amount I used to drink was a daily occurrence, they knew I did drink daily. Father is in his 80s and recently he's been trying to find out a lot about my life and I think just wanted to know if I am OK.

    Is that until wine o'clock or even longer??

    Glad you and MrsK enjoyed your wine last night Alex. for me, it's all about taking control and making a choice not just drinking out of habit.
    Originally posted by maman
    Exactly what it's all about for me too, maman.

    We finished the bottle tonight over dinner but left it there, nothing else. Tomorrow will be AF.
    2018 totals:
    Savings 7,600
    Mortgage Overpayments 1,750
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 1st Oct 17, 9:21 AM
    • 3,080 Posts
    • 11,834 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, 1/21 for me today please.
    No. 15 in Save 12K in 2018. 2,437.63/12,000
    2017: 12,978.51/12K 2016: 20,880.11/15K 2015: 25,464.86/10K
    June AFDs: 23/21. 2018 AFDs: 149/260. 2017: 306/252
    Mortgage 1/6/18: 46,436.38. 46,286.38 Paid off: 150
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 1st Oct 17, 9:27 AM
    • 3,080 Posts
    • 11,834 Thanks
    cathybird
    Father knew I cut down drinking a few years back and I told him the other evening that I had decided not to drink in advance so wouldn't be having any wine with dinner. I think he probably found this a little strange and can remember I used to drink quite heavily. Whilst my parents weren't aware the amount I used to drink was a daily occurrence, they knew I did drink daily. Father is in his 80s and recently he's been trying to find out a lot about my life and I think just wanted to know if I am OK.
    Originally posted by AlexLK
    I'd figured something of the kind, AlexLK, in case that wasn't clear - my initial impression was just that and no more. It is tricky when you cut down because people notice and comment. I have friends I avoid seeing too often now because social occasions are always a drinkfest with them and I just don't want to take part any more.
    No. 15 in Save 12K in 2018. 2,437.63/12,000
    2017: 12,978.51/12K 2016: 20,880.11/15K 2015: 25,464.86/10K
    June AFDs: 23/21. 2018 AFDs: 149/260. 2017: 306/252
    Mortgage 1/6/18: 46,436.38. 46,286.38 Paid off: 150
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 1st Oct 17, 9:48 AM
    • 1,194 Posts
    • 10,745 Thanks
    Wanna Bee Free

    I think the first time I experienced the sober walk home as opposed to the wandering weaving wobble I thought it was a miracle! And then it occurred to me that I wasn't going to feel sh*t in the morning and then waste the whole day because I felt slow and lethargic once the gyppy tummy and headache had passed, topped off by a wave of depression at about 5.00pm, and that made me a very happy bunny indeed.

    Pink elderflower masquerading as rose, eh? Nice one.
    Originally posted by Honey Bear
    No more AFDs here but I wanted to say yes, yes, yes, that's exactly it to the words above. I chose the elderfower pink stuff for taste, and was planning just to say I wasn't drinking that night. Probably using driving tomorrow morning as an excuse if pushed. I may use this one again though as it's nice not to have to say anything.
    Save 12K in 2018 #12 - 4,225/12,000
    Save 12K in 2017 #44 - 7,750/7,500 (103%)
    AFDs May 10/10 June 7/15 2018 43/150
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 1st Oct 17, 10:06 AM
    • 5,100 Posts
    • 50,930 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    I have friends I avoid seeing too often now because social occasions are always a drinkfest with them and I just don't want to take part any more.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    Me too! I dread Christmas now, because the people we spend it with start drinking mid-morning and don't stop until they both pass out - literally. They both still say they fall asleep but actually, they don't. This year one of the complications has been removed so it'll be marginally better than the last few years but Christmas is one of the few occasions I can't avoid being at the drinkfest thing. I've managed to get out of all the other events that are, in effect, just about drinking as much as can be crammed in and it's such a relief!

    1/31 please, Shaggy. Just realised that it's now October. Yikes! Where does the year go?????
    Keeping it AF
    • maman
    • By maman 1st Oct 17, 11:52 AM
    • 18,004 Posts
    • 107,724 Thanks
    maman
    Pleased to say I ended September with an AF day. Since I've spent more time dancing recently I end up driving myself. Plus I've no wish to drink when I'm dancing as I need to concentrate.


    15 AFDs for September please Shaggy.


    October starts tomorrow here.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 1st Oct 17, 2:15 PM
    • 1,402 Posts
    • 5,401 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    1/31 for me please

    Thank you all. xxx
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 1st Oct 17, 4:15 PM
    • 4,068 Posts
    • 44,759 Thanks
    Barny1979
    1/24 AFDs today
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 1st Oct 17, 5:22 PM
    • 1,194 Posts
    • 10,745 Thanks
    Wanna Bee Free
    1/14 for me please Shaggy.
    Save 12K in 2018 #12 - 4,225/12,000
    Save 12K in 2017 #44 - 7,750/7,500 (103%)
    AFDs May 10/10 June 7/15 2018 43/150
    • maggiem
    • By maggiem 2nd Oct 17, 6:40 AM
    • 376 Posts
    • 2,499 Thanks
    maggiem
    1/15 please . Hoping for a more successful October
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 2nd Oct 17, 8:26 AM
    • 1,402 Posts
    • 5,401 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    2/24 please (not 31. Think I had just followed HBs post in error - sorry Shaggy)
    I think there is something very nice about October. I know everyone loves Summer but Autumn months are far more exciting to me.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 2nd Oct 17, 9:39 AM
    • 5,100 Posts
    • 50,930 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Pleased to say I ended September with an AF day. Since I've spent more time dancing recently I end up driving myself. Plus I've no wish to drink when I'm dancing as I need to concentrate..
    Originally posted by maman
    What's so fabulous about this thread is that everyone who gets their drinking under control has a unique reason to do it, and an equally unique way of staying on track. It's the combined genius of original thinkers that makes me want to dance a jig every morning when I read other people's posts. I think that reading your post this morning, Maman, made me realise that if there's something we want enough, each of us can make the most amazing changes in our lives.

    In my case it was knowing that if I ever again behaved as badly as I did the last night I drank there was a very high chance the most important relationship in my life would simply collapse. I didn't do it for him, I did it for me. In yours, it's keeping your weight down and dancing. The thing is, whatever it is that we want works for us - it's just deciding what matters more than giving in to the temptation when it rolls around.

    I had a dream last night in which I did something unforgiveable, and in the dream I knew I didn't have the excuse of not drinking. That's new; up until now I've had dreams when I drank knowing I shouldn't. So, that little (seismic) change took three years, two months and eight days.

    2/31 please, Shaggy.
    Keeping it AF
    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 2nd Oct 17, 10:25 AM
    • 901 Posts
    • 6,998 Thanks
    sukeyboo
    Morning all

    Declaring early for tonight on 1/14 please Shaggy
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 2nd Oct 17, 11:23 AM
    • 3,080 Posts
    • 11,834 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, 2/21 for me today.
    No. 15 in Save 12K in 2018. 2,437.63/12,000
    2017: 12,978.51/12K 2016: 20,880.11/15K 2015: 25,464.86/10K
    June AFDs: 23/21. 2018 AFDs: 149/260. 2017: 306/252
    Mortgage 1/6/18: 46,436.38. 46,286.38 Paid off: 150
    • maman
    • By maman 2nd Oct 17, 11:46 AM
    • 18,004 Posts
    • 107,724 Thanks
    maman
    It's the combined genius of original thinkers that makes me want to dance a jig every morning when I read other people's posts. I think that reading your post this morning, Maman, made me realise that if there's something we want enough, each of us can make the most amazing changes in our lives.
    Originally posted by Honey Bear

    That's so apt and made me smile HB. Dancing a several jigs (and reels and strathspeys) is one of my displacement activities and the very one I was doing on my AF Saturday evening!



    Making a start to October today.


    1 AFD please Shaggy.
    • PriceySOS
    • By PriceySOS 2nd Oct 17, 3:15 PM
    • 577 Posts
    • 4,709 Thanks
    PriceySOS
    1 for October, please, Shaggy, and a total of 21 for September
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 2nd Oct 17, 6:25 PM
    • 3,080 Posts
    • 11,834 Thanks
    cathybird
    That's so apt and made me smile HB. Dancing a several jigs (and reels and strathspeys) is one of my displacement activities and the very one I was doing on my AF Saturday evening!
    Originally posted by maman
    Maman, sounds great fun!! I love those sorts of dances.
    No. 15 in Save 12K in 2018. 2,437.63/12,000
    2017: 12,978.51/12K 2016: 20,880.11/15K 2015: 25,464.86/10K
    June AFDs: 23/21. 2018 AFDs: 149/260. 2017: 306/252
    Mortgage 1/6/18: 46,436.38. 46,286.38 Paid off: 150
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 2nd Oct 17, 8:33 PM
    • 6,153 Posts
    • 22,636 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    AFD 1/10 for today.

    Hope everyone's had a good day x
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: 6200.00 Cap 1: 395.80 BC: 6841.81
    AFD xxx LTW 6/16
    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD 6288.87/7000
    Savings for Christmas 191.84/365
    20p Savers 2018 2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 2nd Oct 17, 9:16 PM
    • 4,068 Posts
    • 44,759 Thanks
    Barny1979
    2/24 AFDs today
    • CuppaTea
    • By CuppaTea 2nd Oct 17, 9:26 PM
    • 812 Posts
    • 6,136 Thanks
    CuppaTea
    1/18 please shaggy
    I'm dealing with stuff.
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