Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 25th Jul 17, 11:47 PM
    • 15,356Posts
    • 51,474Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Buffy Keeps on the Straight and Narrow
    • #1
    • 25th Jul 17, 11:47 PM
    Buffy Keeps on the Straight and Narrow 25th Jul 17 at 11:47 PM
    Hello,

    I used to post here loads and loads, I have been debt free since 2011 but I am due dental work (yes finally!) and need glasses and work done on the car, the house and the garden so am going to do a 0% balance transfer if I can time everything right and then work very hard on paying it off.

    I do have some savings but they are staying as an emergency fund, I like the security they give me. Plus they may well not be enough. In the back of my mind I think I am due a tax rebate as well, not had time to investigate yet.

    Some things have changed and some things stay the same. As a family we are having a very hard time and that is partly why I am back, I need a reminder not spend all the time and to try to find the cheapest ways to do things. Especially eating.

    Lately I have been buying things from Amazon like it doesn't cost me a thing and do not even get me started on the contactless payment option.....it is really bad!!

    I get paid tomorrow so a little sort out of the budgets and then an investigation of 0% BT offers.

    Love

    Buffy
    Pound a Day challenge, Sealed Pot Challenge 12 - 008
Page 32
    • badmemory
    • By badmemory 2nd Aug 18, 6:52 PM
    • 2,300 Posts
    • 3,394 Thanks
    badmemory
    I think what you are going through after term has finished is just the same as it has always been. My father retired almost 40 years ago (when it wasn't quite so stressful) & my mother used to write off the first week after he broke up, whilst he had every cold & sore throat etc that he hadn't actually given in to during term time. When my sister started teaching she was exactly the same.


    So it definitely isn't just you. I suspect a lot of your co-workers are going through similar but don't want to admit it. My sister retired almost 20 years ago & she said then it was getting much much worse. Anyone going into it thinking about how many working weeks & short working days is in for a very nasty shock.
    Last edited by badmemory; 02-08-2018 at 7:00 PM.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 2nd Aug 18, 8:09 PM
    • 58,902 Posts
    • 244,422 Thanks
    beanielou
    Enjoy your night Buffster.
    Happy new summer house xxx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 3rd Aug 18, 6:56 PM
    • 15,356 Posts
    • 51,474 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    I think what you are going through after term has finished is just the same as it has always been. My father retired almost 40 years ago (when it wasn't quite so stressful) & my mother used to write off the first week after he broke up, whilst he had every cold & sore throat etc that he hadn't actually given in to during term time. When my sister started teaching she was exactly the same.


    So it definitely isn't just you. I suspect a lot of your co-workers are going through similar but don't want to admit it. My sister retired almost 20 years ago & she said then it was getting much much worse. Anyone going into it thinking about how many working weeks & short working days is in for a very nasty shock.
    Originally posted by badmemory
    Yes, weird but true. I feel a bit better now, got up early and did some stuff in the garden, not really had much of appetite but at least made a start on the garden and cleaned the animals out. They are very cute but not enjoying the heat.

    Enjoy your night Buffster.
    Happy new summer house xxx
    Originally posted by beanielou
    I am quite excited about it. But also hot and sweaty so being quietly excited!!
    Pound a Day challenge, Sealed Pot Challenge 12 - 008
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 4th Aug 18, 7:00 PM
    • 15,356 Posts
    • 51,474 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Busy day, tip twice, shopping, visiting sister, more shopping, now watching Lucky Man.

    Pondering a lazy spa thing.... I know, not very MSE. I just keep thinking life is too bloody short! and it would be lovely.......and well........why not..


    Any how best get on with something. XX
    Pound a Day challenge, Sealed Pot Challenge 12 - 008
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Aug 18, 7:08 PM
    • 58,902 Posts
    • 244,422 Thanks
    beanielou
    Go for the lazy spa thingy.
    Life is indeed too short xxx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • RosaBernicia
    • By RosaBernicia 4th Aug 18, 8:17 PM
    • 3,616 Posts
    • 10,047 Thanks
    RosaBernicia
    Seconding lazy spa thingy - did one yesterday and it was great.
    Debt free May 2016
    MFW progress 5% ...
    Campervan loan progress 12%

    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 5th Aug 18, 7:35 AM
    • 6,422 Posts
    • 44,808 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Do you mean one of those hot tub spas? We had one in a holiday apartment on the balcony one year and it was fab. I think you have to maintain them quite a bit - put chemicals in the water and stuff - but it would be a lovely way to relax and unwind. Glad you're getting your summerhouse
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2010 21.63
    Debt 1880
    Weight loss 0/6LBS
    Emergency Fund 4000/10,000
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 5th Aug 18, 9:10 AM
    • 4,249 Posts
    • 36,420 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Life is indeed way too short. I impulsively booked myself a 4 day trip in an isolated cottage in the Lakes with a hot tub at the end of summer. I've felt various levels of guilt but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't really looking forward to it. Enjoy!
    December in the Tardis #16 nsd = 8 New life = new debt
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 5th Aug 18, 8:10 PM
    • 58,902 Posts
    • 244,422 Thanks
    beanielou
    Life is indeed way too short. I impulsively booked myself a 4 day trip in an isolated cottage in the Lakes with a hot tub at the end of summer. I've felt various levels of guilt but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't really looking forward to it. Enjoy!
    Originally posted by crazy_cat_lady
    Good
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 9th Aug 18, 6:36 PM
    • 15,356 Posts
    • 51,474 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    I am quite down today. Which is so frustrating, as things are in reality going so well.

    The facts are - am two days post period, so expect a low, haven't seen any of my friends for a week, I am hungry, tired, not slept for two days really as one of the dogs is ill. also various people are having babies and getting married and generally I can deal but I feel like now I am at the bottom of a mountain without much incentive to climb it.

    Funny isn't it, when you stop and think about it, of course I am unhappy, I haven't done anything positive for days, Mum got super stressed when the builders where over and the dog got ill, so all my "happy plans" (BBQ next to the summer house etc) went out the window. It has just been a week of problem solving. We are also constantly worried about my sister.

    I think because the dog has been ill I have been distracted from my list and not made any progress, just kept the basics going. The summer house came with broken windows, and they need sorting. However I am now free to set up outside accommodation for the animals. I cannot explain how much I need that. I miss my privacy so much.

    I think I might try and put together some of the new furniture I bought a 100 years ago.

    Also more work on the garden, will cost 400 pounds but have just paid out for the rabbits vaccinations, treatment for the guinea pig (hay poke!!) and had to pay for the dogs until the insurance pays me back.

    We need a new cooker, random.......and paint.

    right too hungry to carry on (bit dramatic!!) will be back later XXX
    Pound a Day challenge, Sealed Pot Challenge 12 - 008
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 9th Aug 18, 9:53 PM
    • 58,902 Posts
    • 244,422 Thanks
    beanielou
    Can you ask your mum to chip in towards the cooker?
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 9th Aug 18, 10:22 PM
    • 15,356 Posts
    • 51,474 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Can you ask your mum to chip in towards the cooker?
    Originally posted by beanielou
    I think she is going to pay for it. I know nothing about cookers

    Can anyone think of anything I can do for my sister and BIL?

    Mum is super worried about her and it is obviously a problem I can't solve...
    Pound a Day challenge, Sealed Pot Challenge 12 - 008
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 9th Aug 18, 10:28 PM
    • 58,902 Posts
    • 244,422 Thanks
    beanielou
    It is a difficult one Buffy.
    A nice afternoon tea or a high tea?
    Or do you mean more on the practical side?
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 10th Aug 18, 12:06 PM
    • 15,356 Posts
    • 51,474 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    It is a difficult one Buffy.
    A nice afternoon tea or a high tea?
    Or do you mean more on the practical side?
    Originally posted by beanielou

    I really don't know. I think at the moment I am trying to put my oxygen mask on first.......I know I don't really have many problems certainly not on the scale my sister has but I need (almost obsessively so) to sort this house out and make the house easier for me and Mum, and then if anything needs doing I am in a better position to do it.

    One of my biggest problems last year was that we couldn't have a dog walker/pet sitter because Mum and I were so embarrassed by the house. It is shallow I know but it was such a moment to moment situation and we didn't have a clue how long anything was going to carry on. Plus I was just in the process of starting to straighten out my room and the garden. place looked like a bomb had hit it.

    So in the face of having no idea what to do for my sister, I shall sort this... until you guys come up with suggestions.

    I might email her. And ask?

    xxx
    Pound a Day challenge, Sealed Pot Challenge 12 - 008
    • Pooky
    • By Pooky 10th Aug 18, 12:32 PM
    • 6,928 Posts
    • 44,228 Thanks
    Pooky
    When Hubby has his accident and we were suddenly thrown into the deep end, the two things I appreciated most were the friend that dropped round a meal once a week for all of us. Ranging from a home cooked shepherds pie and a pudding to a ready meal curry bag thing (not normally our sort of thing) the fact that I had a night off of cooking was a real treat. I wasn't nagging DDs to help I wasn't trying to get DH up and settled before I could start cooking, I could just whack it in the oven and dish it up.

    The other thing was once a month a friend used to take Hubby out, just for the morning, they'd go for a coffee or he'd push his chair round DIY shops just talking like they normally would. Those few hours alone in the house were amazing.

    What we didn't want was lots of visitors, lots of disturbances to our new routine or lots of well meaning but useless offers of "call us if you need us", because let's face it, most of us won't make that call.

    See what your sister says but don't be offended if she doesn't want help, they've got to learn how to cope and they will find ways of getting through this x
    "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with" - W. C. Field.
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 10th Aug 18, 1:05 PM
    • 15,356 Posts
    • 51,474 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Yeah, she doesn't seem to want help and I get that, I would need to know I could cope in that situation, bit like sorting the house to make everything manageable. She doesn't cook as such, much like I used to be it is all cereal toast and ready meals. BIL has a very specific diet that cannot be modified.....I could cook soup, like home made soup and food processor it. But she has everything done in date order so... but on the other hand he might like it, the big worry at the moment is that he isn't eating. She has always had a specific and definite way of doing things, whereas the rest of us are a bit haphazard(although Mum can be similar it isn't as consistent) - she reacted to that by being ultra organised and if things challenge that she really gets unsettled.

    I might make soup. She can always chuck it if it messes up her plans.

    XX
    Pound a Day challenge, Sealed Pot Challenge 12 - 008
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 10th Aug 18, 1:08 PM
    • 4,249 Posts
    • 36,420 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Hey Buffy
    Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit pants at the moment. I'm not surprised though - it doesn't take a lot to knock my mood off course, and it's lots of little things, and some big things as well for you. It's ok to feel rubbish though - everyone does from time to time.

    I think you're absolutely right to 'put your oxygen mask on' first as well. It's hard to accept that you're as important as everyone else, but you are - regardless of the 'scale' of yours or anyone else's problems. I don't know why some people (me included) find it so hard to put themselves first. What about that spa you were thinking of?

    Lots of love xxx
    December in the Tardis #16 nsd = 8 New life = new debt
    DFD #1: 6 Nov 15 - paid 28,447
    • RosaBernicia
    • By RosaBernicia 10th Aug 18, 1:25 PM
    • 3,616 Posts
    • 10,047 Thanks
    RosaBernicia
    Soup is freezable too - so could become a back up plan even if it doesn't fit with the current schedule.



    But totally get what you mean about trying to get the basics sorted so that you are in a better position to offer more.





    Rosa xx
    Debt free May 2016
    MFW progress 5% ...
    Campervan loan progress 12%

    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 11th Aug 18, 9:42 AM
    • 15,356 Posts
    • 51,474 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    That is true about the soup Rosa - good point. hmmm.

    Ok. so in the spirit of putting my oxygen mask on first today I am cleaning my room today. As in going through the wardrobe, getting shot of clothes, books (the horror) generally fafferey and junk. I am also going to move the room round again as can't settle in the current configuration. (configuration - get me!) I just have to work out how to coral the rabbits whilst I am moving things...

    xxxxxx
    Pound a Day challenge, Sealed Pot Challenge 12 - 008
    • Pooky
    • By Pooky 11th Aug 18, 11:15 AM
    • 6,928 Posts
    • 44,228 Thanks
    Pooky
    Can the rabbits not go out now?
    "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with" - W. C. Field.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

2,909Posts Today

7,176Users online

Martin's Twitter