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  • FIRST POST
    • Goingroundincircles
    • By Goingroundincircles 21st Jul 17, 2:03 PM
    • 101Posts
    • 179Thanks
    Goingroundincircles
    Third-Life Crisis
    • #1
    • 21st Jul 17, 2:03 PM
    Third-Life Crisis 21st Jul 17 at 2:03 PM
    Hi everyone,

    So it would appear I am having a third-life crisis.

    Although we've been aware of our massive debt for a long time (having been in debt since being offered my first credit card by the bank at 18) it has really hit home this week how much we owe and how long it's going to take to pay off. Throw in the looming 30th birthday, the ticking biological clock, the desire to travel and experience new things, the pressures of having a 'successful job', trying to keep in touch with family and friends, trying to maintain a clean and tidy house plus look after myself - ARGH.

    The running theme through all of these things is money and our lack of it.

    I have been a long time moneysaving lurker. Trying to do things to reduce our outgoings. I feel we're at a point where we can't reduce things anymore and actually the thing we need to take control of is our YOLO spending. Our attitude towards money has always been that 'You Only Live Once' and there's no point being 'the richest man in the graveyard' so enjoy life while you can. Unfortunately that has meant years of overspending to the point where we are now paying around 1500 towards debt each month. That 1500 could have been paying for holidays every month if we hadn't wasted so much money over the years. And I suppose by wasted I mean on throw away items and food.

    Anyway, having done our snowball last night and seeing another 5 years of paying 1500 towards debt each month, I decided this is the time to really take control and do something about it. No spending 20 in the Co-op when you only went in for milk. No buying clothes that really weren't needed (and probably rarely worn).

    I'll post our SOA asap and any help would be appreciated.

    That's all for now.
Page 10
    • Goingroundincircles
    • By Goingroundincircles 18th Jun 18, 1:29 PM
    • 101 Posts
    • 179 Thanks
    Goingroundincircles
    So, we've gone for option 2 and cleared out all our savings pots - which I have to say was devastating. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that we can recover the money at some stage. Either by the invoices being paid or by OH earning extra income. He has earnt around 800 over our budgeted income for the last two months and this month looks to be going the same way, so it should be doable.

    In all honesty I'm feeling pretty miserable and extremely irritable at the moment. I think it's a combination of things going wrong, tiredness and hormones. Everything OH does is annoying me and I could cry at just about anything. Not like me at all. We've been attending antenatal classes over the last two weeks and now it all feels very real. And I just don't feel ready!
    We have the next two weekends set aside to sort the bathroom/house and I'm considering messaging the family and asking if anyone is around to pop in and help. Even if it's just with the cleaning for a bit.
    All budgeting feels like it's gone out the window this month. We've had two takeaways and I haven't been controlling the food shop spends again. I can't get the idea of reinstating window cleaning, bin cleaning, netflix etc out of my head.

    And I have the urge to buy something, anything.
    • Moguline
    • By Moguline 18th Jun 18, 2:23 PM
    • 265 Posts
    • 705 Thanks
    Moguline
    Sorry you're having a rubbish time. Obviously you already know that, but spending more money is certainly not going to make you feel better about being weighed down with debt, but only exaggerate the problem. Try to resist and you'll feel great for having done so!
    It's so hard when you're hormonal.
    Maybe try and relax a little regarding the home improvements. Are they really necessary to finish off before the baby comes? I'm asking because I know a lot of mum are "nesting" and want to have their house 100%, but take it from someone who's already a mum, babies really don't care about the state of your house. They're not going to be in their own room for at least 6 months, so you have some time there. They certainly don't use the bathroom for at least 2 years haha! It's understandable you want everything to be perfect, but I promise you once your little one is here, you'll mostly just want to stare at them rather than your house. And you'll have to get used to a messy house anyway.
    LBM: Christmas 2017 Highest debt (01/01/2018): 23,786 As of 01/07/2018: 19,887 Total reduction in 2018: -3,899 DFD of my dreams: 31/12/2019
    • Goingroundincircles
    • By Goingroundincircles 19th Jun 18, 10:34 AM
    • 101 Posts
    • 179 Thanks
    Goingroundincircles
    You're right Moguline, thank you. I know all these things, I just don't listen to myself sometimes!
    I solved the need to shop by going to the supermarket for a few things we needed and also some cake!! The one thing we really do need to do is the bathroom. The contents are currently piled up in various places around the house, the floor/floorboards are up and the bath is unusable. Apart from that, the rest is non essential.
    I think I could do with a long nap today.
    • Goingroundincircles
    • By Goingroundincircles 19th Jun 18, 10:40 AM
    • 101 Posts
    • 179 Thanks
    Goingroundincircles
    Bathroom update - we should be hearing from the insurers today as to whether they'll cover it.

    Work update - OH spoke to the company's accountant yesterday and apparently the invoices have been processed and will be paid at the end of the month. Not holding out too much hope as they keep telling him lies to get him off their case, but fingers crossed!
    • Goingroundincircles
    • By Goingroundincircles 25th Jun 18, 8:42 PM
    • 101 Posts
    • 179 Thanks
    Goingroundincircles
    Still no definitive answer from the insurance company. Instead they asked for a broken down quote (remove lino xx, replace floorboards xx for example). This is a bit of a pain though so it's taking a while. It's because they won't cover things like removing/replacing the lino because 'it wasn't glued down and is therefore classed as contents' (eye roll).

    Still keeping everything crossed that the unpaid invoices are paid on Friday.

    I've made the decision to bring my maternity leave forward and so will be finishing this week. It's made me feel a million times better and like I can cope with all the problems going on around us.

    Looking forward to July and getting everything back on track! OH has worked incredibly hard this month so we should be able top the pots back up next month and have some money to do a couple of nice things together before the baby comes.
    • Kitten868
    • By Kitten868 27th Jun 18, 8:26 PM
    • 928 Posts
    • 1,987 Thanks
    Kitten868
    Oh no poor you what a run of bad luck! Make sure you take advantage of any advice you can - shelter for the house and local lawyers to ask one employment question for free.

    Are you sure you want to take mat leave early? It means you get less time with lo. And more time being stressed about the bathroom.

    Keep going. This all would have happened light bulb or not and you can keep control of the reins so it doesn't turn into it you giving up again. Xxx
    Loan 1 5800/8000
    Loan 2 3800/5800
    Total 9600/13800 30% PAID
    • Goingroundincircles
    • By Goingroundincircles 3rd Jul 18, 10:40 AM
    • 101 Posts
    • 179 Thanks
    Goingroundincircles
    June Round Up
    Debt totals Feb 18 - Jun 18:

    Lloyds - 2880 - 2167
    Halifax - 2374 - 2268
    Barclaycard 1 - 6194 - 5848
    Barclaycard 2 - 9192- 8910
    MBNA 1 - 6158 - 5980
    MBNA 2 - 3340 - 3182
    MBNA 3 - 3932 - 4885 (the materials one )
    MBNA 4 - 2115 - 2764
    MBNA 5 - 3746 - 3494
    Mum - 1695 - 1270
    Tesco Loan - 9300 - 7700
    Sainsburys Loan - 8398 - 7110
    FIL - 2000 - 1900
    TOTAL - 59,324 - 57,478

    1310 paid off the debt last month. The 1500 in the Emergency/Maternity Fund had to be wiped out due to the unpaid invoices. We have put 600 back in from July's budget thanks to husband's hard work in June. The invoices have still not been paid so we now need to start the small claims process I'm hoping that eventually we'll recoup that money and be able to put it all back into our savings pots.

    Still no bathroom or agreement from the insurers. We're currently having to make do with the downstairs toilet/sink and showering at either my mum's or MIL's. Not ideal in this weather or at 36 weeks pregnant!

    I have started my maternity leave. Kitten868 it was suggested by both the midwife and health visitor that I should bring it forward for health reasons - I was trying to hold off as long as possible! Currently my return to work date is 13 Aug 2019. That's with 6 months full pay, 3 months SMP, 2 months no pay and the rest accrued holiday/bank holidays/stand down. Found out I get an extra 7 days paid leave for when the office is closed over Christmas I also found out though that I still have to pay my pension every month, even when I'm not earning anything! So I need to rework my budget. That news plus the unpaid invoices may mean going back a month or two earlier.

    Being treated to a spa day today, so off for some R&R
    • Goingroundincircles
    • By Goingroundincircles 3rd Jul 18, 10:45 AM
    • 101 Posts
    • 179 Thanks
    Goingroundincircles
    Oh and not forgetting that (apart from the materials card - which we now don't use and ask for materials money up front) we haven't used a credit card yet again this month. I can't even remember the last time we did use one. Not even a sneaky 'I'll put it on the CC and then pay it off when xyz comes in next week'.

    It feels good.
    • Kitten868
    • By Kitten868 3rd Jul 18, 7:48 PM
    • 928 Posts
    • 1,987 Thanks
    Kitten868
    The biggest thing you have to take away is that overall your debts have gone down and that's definitely a positive. You do sound really positive about it. I can see that big chunks have been taken off your debts. Are those minimums or are you in a position to do a bit of snowballing? Be nice to have fewer creditors and would help you.

    I totally, totally understand about maternity leave - I had to take it early as I had SPD so bad I couldn't walk to the toilet let alone drive. I just also know of lots of women with fine pregnancies that got bored at home - I had no idea you were struggling. You know about the pension up front so budget for it but check online as I'm not certain you have to. I think you can reduce it and then increase it later. But I've heard of similar with child care vouchers.
    Good luck with the small courts xxx
    Loan 1 5800/8000
    Loan 2 3800/5800
    Total 9600/13800 30% PAID
    • Goingroundincircles
    • By Goingroundincircles 6th Jul 18, 3:43 PM
    • 101 Posts
    • 179 Thanks
    Goingroundincircles
    Thanks Kitten868. Sorry to hear you struggled with SPD, I can imagine what a nightmare it is!
    We're just paying the minimums at the moment while we try and get a sustainable budget in place and also save for maternity/paternity leave. Then we can try and tackle the debt a bit quicker.
    • Goingroundincircles
    • By Goingroundincircles 10th Jul 18, 11:28 AM
    • 101 Posts
    • 179 Thanks
    Goingroundincircles
    Good news! The unpaid invoices have been paid - in full This means we've topped all our pots up, the maternity leave/emergency fund now stands at 2,100.

    Now if we can just get the bathroom insurance sorted we'll be back on track
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 10th Jul 18, 3:17 PM
    • 127 Posts
    • 137 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Thats Brilliant news - glad he didnt get shafted for his hard work
    • Kitten868
    • By Kitten868 11th Jul 18, 7:41 PM
    • 928 Posts
    • 1,987 Thanks
    Kitten868
    Woohoo! So pleased for you. Is that the FIL all paid off and gone?
    Loan 1 5800/8000
    Loan 2 3800/5800
    Total 9600/13800 30% PAID
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