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    • Knit Witch
    • By Knit Witch 18th Jul 17, 8:29 PM
    • 3,610Posts
    • 32,933Thanks
    Knit Witch
    The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!
    • #1
    • 18th Jul 17, 8:29 PM
    The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat! 18th Jul 17 at 8:29 PM
    As threads are going walkabout I thought I would start the next stage of this off - I will try and do the links later!
    Must use my stash up!
Page 284
    • Softstuff
    • By Softstuff 13th Apr 18, 11:10 AM
    • 3,059 Posts
    • 35,457 Thanks
    Softstuff I have been stirfying and cooking up a storm with my fancy sauces - I must be doing it wrong, I haven't lost an ounce
    Originally posted by Islandmaid
    Have you at least enjoyed them?

    I'm sure you're right about the eye thing. Even if there is a "something", quite often all they do have a look then watch the somethings.
    Softstuff- Officially better than 007
    • nursemaggie
    • By nursemaggie 13th Apr 18, 1:18 PM
    • 2,414 Posts
    • 32,096 Thanks
    I get the black kitchen and bathroom. While living in a rented house we had a very dark brown bathroom suite. It was the bane of my life. I started work at 7am so was off before everyone else. I had two teenagers then.

    The bathroom also had a dark brown shag pile carpet. I would clean it when I got home and then I would have to dry and polish the bathroom suit as just one drop of water dried on it would make the whole room look dirty. I hated it with a vengeance.

    I too agree about CHS starting a handyman business. Leafleting areas where there are lots of bungalows and having notices in local shops is the way to advertise. He can build up a round and you can just move on to the next area he has work in. If he can do decorating that would be good too. There is a call for this sort of thing especially among the elderly and those who work long hours. Summer is the best time to do it.

    monna I also agree about the cleaning as long as it does not smell too strongly of dog and they can see everything easily, no one would turn down a house that is dusty. If they did you would not want them because they would also be the really fussy type who make ridiculous demands on you all through the buying process.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 13th Apr 18, 1:20 PM
    • 17,363 Posts
    • 48,182 Thanks
    Hester, re the "stress box" idea for your OH - that sounds like a very good idea (if you can persuade him into it).

    My job was stressful for rather a lot of years latterly - tries not to think JUST how many years the stress went on for.

    I had to force myself to go in there each day for many a long year - because, basically TINA to quote a phrase (ie "There is/was no alternative"). The alternative would have meant me being in and out of work/NMW jobs/antisocial hours jobs/me not being the one to decide when my holidays were/no job pension. Put like that = there was no alternative then. I knew I was stuck there for literally years and the stress would probably be pretty continuous until 1 day before retirement so to say.

    So I learnt in the end to "tune it out" at the end of a workday. I would mentally "pull down a metal barrier" behind me as I walked out the door at the end of each workday and managed to get myself into a frame of mind that I only remembered I had to do a job for my income JUST enough to make sure I got myself in there again at the start of the next workday.

    I also took to going out darn nearly every single lunchtime break. I would take the minimum length lunchbreak I could manage (as it was flexitime - and therefore I could manage to only take 30 minutes) and I would just "Go Out" away from it at lunchbreak and do my shopping if I had any. If I hadn't - I'd just go out anyway and walk around and think "Well - at least there's a bit more exercise - so that's positive". I was fortunate, in hindsight, to be somewhere where I could rely pretty well on it not raining at inconvenient times (ie finding "rain stopped play" didnt tend to happen). So - more difficult if in an area where it rains more - but I guess there's ways round that (eg if working in a city - then there's big department stores/decent-size libraries/big indoor shopping malls etc one can go in).

    So - I advocate the "metal blind being drawn down behind you" technique at the end of each workday personally.
    If you feel like you don't fit in in this world, it's because you are here to help create a new one.
    • greenbee
    • By greenbee 13th Apr 18, 1:45 PM
    • 12,889 Posts
    • 222,552 Thanks
    Hester - there's definitely a market for handyman services. Finding reliable people to do small jobs is almost impossible, so well worth CHS considering if the current job is getting too much. Actually, in your part of the world employment rates are high, so another permanent job may be a realistic option if he'd prefer that.
    • silver-oldie
    • By silver-oldie 13th Apr 18, 1:55 PM
    • 626 Posts
    • 8,993 Thanks
    Hi all,

    SO I cant believe they let you fret and worry prior to the meeting, still not a nice position to be in, but hope that now the financial concerns have gone you can relax x
    Originally posted by Islandmaid
    I suppose for them it's part of every life.

    I'm struggling as what is best. It's my mother's life, she is difficult and can be hurtful, but she's my mother.
    I do believe that there must be a quality to life as well as quantity.
    If you walk at night no-one will see you cry.
    • Floss
    • By Floss 13th Apr 18, 2:03 PM
    • 4,902 Posts
    • 45,651 Thanks
    Silver Oldie would it help to speak to an adviser in relation to your mums illness? this link has some useful info & contact numbers xx
    • Islandmaid
    • By Islandmaid 13th Apr 18, 2:06 PM
    • 2,936 Posts
    • 41,552 Thanks
    SO I really feel for you x

    It's because of this type of issue that I have made my end of life wishes very clear to my family - hopefully not for a good while yet, but I don't want any of them tearing themselves apart with worry over what to do - just for the record I am DNR all the way, I DO NOT think that existing is the same as living - an entirely personal view, I know that everyone is different x
    Note to self - STOP SPENDING MONEY !!
    • silver-oldie
    • By silver-oldie 13th Apr 18, 2:09 PM
    • 626 Posts
    • 8,993 Thanks
    Sorry but I can't get your link to work.

    Mum's real 'problem' is she's nearly 102 years old
    If you walk at night no-one will see you cry.
    • Floss
    • By Floss 13th Apr 18, 2:57 PM
    • 4,902 Posts
    • 45,651 Thanks
    Try this one:
    • silvasava
    • By silvasava 13th Apr 18, 5:12 PM
    • 4,008 Posts
    • 64,033 Thanks
    Afternoon all!
    SO - difficult decisions to make as you want to do the best for your mum despite her age. Sending hugs to you.

    My jaunt with DS1 was lovely - we took a detour on the way out for him to look at a drop leaf table in Ikeeya - he decided it wasn't nearly as nice as he'd thought. He did buy some other bits and pieces. My haul was a couple of pillow cases, a pack of paper napkins and a plastic box for our bread that's smaller than the one I use now.
    The dinner was good and met some really lovely people - DS did a bit of gentle 'networking' . The hotel he booked was really nice and a good breakfast choice - all in all a lovely 'mini break'. Got to be up early tomorrow as the boats go back in the water - about 50 of them to lift in and I'm no 24! I've also got a birthday party to attend the same evening - think I wont be staying to the end as I'll be flagging

    Hester - really feel for you as its no fun being the mental punchbag for the DH to release his worries and frustrations on - especially when there is very little you can do to resolve the situation for him - think you need the serious/stern convo with him very soon.
    Monna - you do wonder at some peoples decorating ideas - when its very bold & dramatic its off putting as you know you're going to have to deal with it sooner rather than later and its an additional expense. Do hope there will be the perfect place for you at the right time very soon x
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
    • nursemaggie
    • By nursemaggie 13th Apr 18, 5:23 PM
    • 2,414 Posts
    • 32,096 Thanks
    Some good news for DS. He has passed all the tests to be the tenant so it is just down to arranging when he can move in. That needs to be discussed with the Landlord to looks if he may know next weeks.

    I guess for me it depends on how many weeks they leave me before I can be told I can view and then another six or seven weeks before they say come and sign up NOW and then they will say. You can move in NOW! they don't like to give you even a seconds notice.
    • Floss
    • By Floss 13th Apr 18, 5:56 PM
    • 4,902 Posts
    • 45,651 Thanks
    NM thats great news for DS - fingers crossed you get good news too xx
    • fuddle
    • By fuddle 13th Apr 18, 7:09 PM
    • 6,649 Posts
    • 101,707 Thanks
    Silva if the procedure begins with 'a' my mother-in-law has had one. She too was really worried about it and wished she hadn't read the literature but she said that the thought of what it's going to feel like is worse than the procedure. In reality it wasn't as bad as what she had built it up to be. I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday. x
    Be like a tree.
    Stay grounded. Connect with your roots. Turn over a new leaf.
    Bend before you break. Enjoy your natural beauty. Keep growing.
    • karcher
    • By karcher 13th Apr 18, 7:26 PM
    • 1,853 Posts
    • 17,189 Thanks
    Hi Fencers

    I haven't posted for a while as I am struggling to find anything to say other than life continuing to kick me whilst I'm down.

    No good news regarding my job, my hair is literally falling out in handfuls and has got so thin and grey. I actually went to get a trim today (first time in 6 months) as it was a frizzy haystack of split ends.

    The hairdresser said it is probably down to stress...I couldn't dispute that!

    I am failing to sleep more that 3 or 4 hours a night and when I do sleep I wake in the early hours soaked in sweat and can't get off to sleep again. I'm reading rather than putting my laptop on and am averaging reading a book in 2 days/nights at the moment.

    I'm piling on weight I'm sure due to lack of sleep..oh what I wouldn't do to sleep a straight 7 hours!

    So I'm sorry Fencers, the above is why I haven't posted..I just have nothing positive to say and I hate just being all about being down.

    What I would really like, along with some sleep and a worry free month or two, is a proper hug and someone here to support me..I am just so tired of fighting on alone


    Love to you all and I hope you are all ok

    Take care all xx
    'I'm sinking in the quicksand of my thought
    And I ain't got the power anymore'
    • mardatha
    • By mardatha 13th Apr 18, 7:35 PM
    • 15,322 Posts
    • 148,905 Thanks
    karcher those symptoms sound like thyroid, maybe get that checked - and don't just accept them saying it's"fine". Get the numbers and google them.
    • silvasava
    • By silvasava 13th Apr 18, 7:51 PM
    • 4,008 Posts
    • 64,033 Thanks
    Oh Karcher - so sorry you are feeling so low. It's so hard when you can't seem to take one step forward. Can only send you a virtual hug and healing vibes xx
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
    • FairyPrincessk
    • By FairyPrincessk 13th Apr 18, 7:54 PM
    • 2,387 Posts
    • 25,989 Thanks
    Evening all,

    Karcher I so wish I could give you a hug in person. I agree with Mar, that does sound like it may be a thyroid issue. Thyroid issues and stress issues are often confused for each other. It is treatable and if that is what it is, it will make life seem much easier with the right medication.

    Nursemaggie--I'm so glad there is some positive news. I know there is still a long journey to come but at least it feels like something is setting off!

    I got my invite for the monitor today. I'm supposed to have it for six days. I had no idea it would be for so long.

    Hugs to all who need them.
    • Jazee
    • By Jazee 13th Apr 18, 8:13 PM
    • 4,783 Posts
    • 55,489 Thanks
    Hugs Karcher, didn!!!8217;t want to read and run. You!!!8217;ve actually inspired me to switch off the PC and I!!!8217;m going to read a book instead. I hope you sleep better tonight.
    Spend less now, work less later.
    • MMF007
    • By MMF007 13th Apr 18, 8:53 PM
    • 1,328 Posts
    • 29,574 Thanks
    Softstuff, well done on the very positive actions and the weight loss!!

    NM, great news about DS. Fingers crossed that your turn comes very soon.

    Karcher, I soooo want to give you a real hug, a great big smoother of a hug. I agree that your symptoms sounds very like thyroid problem and this can be brought on by stress (friend suffered the same after major stress, got meds, is great now!). Please, please go to docs and tell all. If not thyroid, Doc still needs to know the other issues and may well be able to help. Promise me you will make an appointment asap?

    I have just written a card to the family of the kind man who recently left me a small bequest. It took me ages to work out what to say because, of course, i cannot thank the donor. Eventually I realised that as well as speaking about the lovely gent in question, what I could say was that it is an honour to have been mentioned in a Will. That's how I feel. The money is very nice but really the thought that went with it is by far the best thing.
    I have changed my work-life balance to a life-work balance.
    • nursemaggie
    • By nursemaggie 13th Apr 18, 9:07 PM
    • 2,414 Posts
    • 32,096 Thanks
    Karcher I agree especially about your hair that is just what happens with an under active thyroid as does the weight gain and everything else. You may even feel better about work with treatment.

    I would give you a big hug if I knew where you were but it your not within a couple of hours I can only give you a virtual one you may have as many as you would like of them.

    Can anyone tell me is there an internet map system other than Google because I can't find the building the council have nominated me for. All Google gives me is either Kent Street or it puts in in a car park at the back of some buildings all with no windows and no way of getting out of this car park. It has no access roads??? Maybe that is why it is empty.
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