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  • FIRST POST
    • Knit Witch
    • By Knit Witch 18th Jul 17, 8:29 PM
    • 3,429Posts
    • 31,293Thanks
    Knit Witch
    The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!
    • #1
    • 18th Jul 17, 8:29 PM
    The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat! 18th Jul 17 at 8:29 PM
    As threads are going walkabout I thought I would start the next stage of this off - I will try and do the links later!
    V3ry - 389.60
Page 237
    • monnagran
    • By monnagran 10th Mar 18, 5:17 PM
    • 3,676 Posts
    • 48,608 Thanks
    monnagran
    Ahhh, fuddle, my heart sank into my fluffy slippers when I heard of your exploits today. I have never towed a caravan, well not intentionally, but I am well used to that heart stopping feeling when your mode of transport gives a sadistic snigger and grinds to a halt.
    In the early sixties I used to drive 12 miles up the A3 every day to work. There were numerous garages on that stretch and at every garage I received an enthusiastic wave as I passed. I could imagine them all heaving a sigh of relief,, saying, " Relax chaps, she's not our problem today."
    I had limped into all of them belching forth smoke, and on one famous occasion flames, frequently. You haven't done that have you?
    I bet you don't have the accelerator on a piece of string with the other end tied round your wrist so that you can yank it up when it gets stuck down either. Or have to lift your feet when you go over a puddle. Or have no heater except the hot water bottle on your lap. Oh, happy motoring days before the advent of MOTs.

    Softstuff and nm, have you heard the theory that people think 'middle aged' is someone 10 years older than they are? Not me obviously. Anyone 10 years older than me has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana skin.
    Well, I have a theory that everyone thinks that 'fat' describes anyone at least a stone heavier than them. Mind you, some of us would be hard pressed to find one of these rare beings.

    It's getting near Millie's dinner time. She has climbed off my bed where she has been all day so far and is now lying near the door where, if I so much as twitch,
    she is poised to beat me down stairs.
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 10th Mar 18, 5:28 PM
    • 2,126 Posts
    • 19,519 Thanks
    pollyanna 26
    You deserve an MSE medal monna your daily posts have tears running down my cheeks in a good way . I admit there were some times when I was coughing through the Pleurisy they almost caused my demise but it was worth the worry I was gasping my last . Never change .
    polly
    • nursemaggie
    • By nursemaggie 10th Mar 18, 7:04 PM
    • 2,179 Posts
    • 28,753 Thanks
    nursemaggie
    We once had one of those too monna The hole in the floor, after we bought a new car some friends borrowed the old one to go to the north of Scotland to stay in a croft. They said the hole in the floor was very useful for emptying the potty on the motor way. Their eldest being 2 at the time.

    I went to Mr M this afternoon. DS came to help me unpack, he only comes to see what I have got, he did eat six vegetable samosas before we finished. I bought them YS.

    "OO we're having dinosaur for dinner tomorrow, are we?" he said as he pick up the the turkey leg I bought. "What is it?"

    I told him we would probably eat the drumstick roasted tomorrow, and the thigh another day. It's enormous I'm not surprised he thought it was dinosaur.

    polly I did suggest DS have a cooked breakfast but he thinks 2.30 am is soon enough to get up he is not getting up at 2 am. Well I'm not getting up at 2.30am and cooking it for him while he has his shower.

    The move is supposed to sort out these awful hours a bit. a 10 hour sift plus 5 hours travelling is too much. It's as well he had yesterday off they worked until 4.50 yesterday that's more than 12 hours he would have got home well after bed time. I'm sure that's illegal on only a 20 minute break.
    Last edited by nursemaggie; 10-03-2018 at 8:25 PM.
    • Softstuff
    • By Softstuff 10th Mar 18, 8:03 PM
    • 2,862 Posts
    • 32,072 Thanks
    Softstuff
    Oh Fuddle, hope they rescued you by now. I also hope someone saved you some food.

    Nursemaggie, we used to buy a preroasted turkey leg back when they did them at a local supermarket here (turkey over here can usually be quite expensive). I don't think my husband had ever seen a full sized turkey leg, he was afraid they'd just cut off the one and the rest of the giant turkey would come looking for us

    Monna, I hadn't heard that, but it makes great sense. After all, I'm still a slightly chubby young 'un.

    On the subject of bad cars... my first ever car was a bedford rascal van, purchased from a couple of strange looking men on a promenade. The outside was predominately formed of rust and builders bog, with highlights of duct tape. Inside was spacious (cavernous), with 2 seats of dubious security (you were ok on the straight, iffy on a turn). The windows went down (just not up), the gear lever worked (if reluctantly), the handbrake not as much (but you could park in gear). It was quite economical on the petrol (it used more oil than anything else).

    When driving it, I discovered that in high winds, the height of it made it not as aerodynamic as one might hope for a vehicle. Much like a cheap garden fence, you were apt to begin praying it didn't go over in any breeze. I went one day with it to pick up a two seater sofa, which fit very comfortably into the back. And lo, the handling improved dramatically. No teetering on corners, no swaying in the breeze.... and the overall interior noise reduced to a level that you could actually hear the passenger when yelling. I immediately got me to Do it all, where I purchased a half dozen bags of sharp sand, and thenceforth drove merrily with a newly acquired ballast.

    It was a sad day when I waved goodbye to it at the garage, I swear I saw the mechanic wipe a tear too (after all, I'd left it there )
    Softstuff- Officially better than 007
    • monnagran
    • By monnagran 10th Mar 18, 10:58 PM
    • 3,676 Posts
    • 48,608 Thanks
    monnagran
    I love it softstuff! Mine was a 1935 Austin 7, bought (unseen) for 20 from some student friends of my brother's. It was a purler. They had "overhauled" it. One of their improvements was to replace the exhaust pipe with an old water pipe, it still had the threaded tap end sticking out at the back. They had also souped up the engine to such an extent that I could leave Jags standing at traffic lights. If it didn't stall, that is. In that case I held up all the traffic while I did the business with the starting handle at the front, much to the gratification of leering lorry drivers who yelled their appreciation and wolf-whistled. I should have got their names, I could have been suing them now.
    The handover was in Coventry. It was unfortunate that it was the day of Coventry Carnival. We heard the car coming before I ever clapped eyes on it. My brother and his friend leapt out, threw the keys at me and disappeared on the backs of a couple of motor bikes.
    Off we went, me and my 8month pregnant friend. Every time I changed gear the engine stalled and I went through the cranking up pantomime. I had never been to Coventry before but there were plenty of police around who waved me in the direction I must go. I couldn't understand why the road was lined with crowds who cheered and waved flags while I clattered along, and shouted helpful suggestions when I stalled. I tried to turn off on to quieter roads but the police were having none of it and ushered me firmly back. It finally dawned that they thought I was part of the Carnival Parade. By this time my blood pressure was through the roof and my friend was crouching as low as she could get, sobbing.
    Somehow I got that monstrosity from Coventry back to Petersfield in Hampshire.
    Time has healed the wounds but will never efface the scars.

    Motoring is just no fun these days, is it?
    Last edited by monnagran; 10-03-2018 at 11:01 PM.
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
    • Softstuff
    • By Softstuff 10th Mar 18, 11:25 PM
    • 2,862 Posts
    • 32,072 Thanks
    Softstuff
    Motoring is just no fun these days, is it?
    Originally posted by monnagran
    Well, it's not as... er... unpredictable. My husband, who shares my love of the absurd, was quite happy when we decided on our present vehicle, Stuey. Stuey is a rather bright yellow turbo fiat 500. When you see the vehicle, and my 6ft 2 husband, you wouldn't put the two together, but he's a tardis on the inside - the car, not my husband! (you'd be surprised what we've fit in him from Ikea!) He's the same colour as the yellow pages. Around here the fiat 500 is a relatively common vehicle (very nippy, easy to park), but when we've driven further afield, he becomes a bit of sight. We've had conversations with strangers admiring him, garnered many a cheery grin and a wave as we motor by and on one occasion on the motorway caused a passenger in another vehicle to lean out the window to take a photo of us . He still makes me smile when I see him parked. So, motoring can still be fun, even when it's safe.
    Last edited by Softstuff; 10-03-2018 at 11:28 PM.
    Softstuff- Officially better than 007
    • monnagran
    • By monnagran 10th Mar 18, 11:42 PM
    • 3,676 Posts
    • 48,608 Thanks
    monnagran
    In our house they are called !!!!!!!" cars and the kids get points for being the first to spot one.

    Then of course we have the cousin who planted Liberia in the rust holes in his old van.

    I just had to leave Liberia in. Tablet has excelled again. Shall we try ...lobelia.

    GOOD HEAVENS, Am I missing something here? What is the salacious meaning of b a n a n a?
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
    • mardatha
    • By mardatha 11th Mar 18, 7:28 AM
    • 14,814 Posts
    • 141,339 Thanks
    mardatha
    Monna, your tablet thinks. That might not be a good thing.. I definitely like the idea of Liberia being planted in a rusty car though.
    Softstuff you have ruined the RV's picture of Australia. He thought it was full of terrific fast straight roads and everybody driving gorgeous big V6s.
    • Softstuff
    • By Softstuff 11th Mar 18, 7:35 AM
    • 2,862 Posts
    • 32,072 Thanks
    Softstuff
    I like liberia too... not sure how you'd plant that though

    And as for bananas being salacious, I recall them being used to demonstrate condoms in school.... but .... never mind.

    Softstuff you have ruined the RV's picture of Australia. He thought it was full of terrific fast straight roads and everybody driving gorgeous big V6s.
    Originally posted by mardatha
    The roads sometimes are so straight in certain parts of australia, and so boring that people doze off through that alone. Of course, if you think potholes are bad in the UK, you've seen nothing yet. Our extremes of weather take a huge toll on the roads. And big cars, we have many, mostly utes or SUVs with the odd v8 commodore thrown in.
    Softstuff- Officially better than 007
    • monnagran
    • By monnagran 11th Mar 18, 7:56 AM
    • 3,676 Posts
    • 48,608 Thanks
    monnagran
    Lightning visit from me today.

    Woooah! I was nearly blown over by that collective sigh of relief.

    My poor intellectually challenged tablet is refusing to be charged. I have 2 chargers. One new one which worked on and off and one old, battered one that didn't work, then it did work and now it doesnt again. The new one that did work fitfully has now taken the hump and gone back to bed. I have very little charge left so I will leave you and it to sulk.

    THOUGHT FOR SUNDAY

    If you think you have blown God's plan for your life, rest in this: You, my beautiful friend, are not that powerful. (Lisa Bever)
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
    • VJsmum
    • By VJsmum 11th Mar 18, 9:38 AM
    • 5,139 Posts
    • 75,613 Thanks
    VJsmum
    Morning all - i am away on a study break, trying to catch up with PhD work that has gotten behind because... Life.

    Happy mother's (mothers' ?) day to those who celebrate - hugs to those for whom it is a tough old day. Mine is bitter sweet - i lost my mum 8 years ago but i have two lovely children of my own. DD bought me some Lush stuff (surprise surprise - she works there and gets discount) which was lovely and I have a card signed by DS that i am guessing he knows nothing about I hope for a text later...

    I am going to work this morning and evening but am aiming for a cinema trip this afternoon to see something improving about child trafficking into a circus, though I believe it is uplifting also.

    Back at it.. Have a good day all
    You're out with a friend in the capital, I'm a thousand leagues under the sea
    You're hovering worriedly over your eggs, And I'm pondering trees
    I'm wandering long, And I'm pondering trees
    For you and me
    Guy Garvey
    • maryb
    • By maryb 11th Mar 18, 9:47 AM
    • 3,713 Posts
    • 45,620 Thanks
    maryb
    beginning to wonder if DD2 is still alive - no, wait, she posted on whatapp yesterday. She has simply forgotten she has a mother
    It doesn't matter if you are a glass half full or half empty sort of person. Keep it topped up! Cheers!
    • fuddle
    • By fuddle 11th Mar 18, 11:32 AM
    • 6,294 Posts
    • 96,132 Thanks
    fuddle
    What way did you come up fuddle? the A1 or the A68?
    Originally posted by mardatha
    A68 mar usually. We live on the doorstep of that route but yesterday we had to go A1 because of where the caravan was stored.

    You deserve an MSE medal monna your daily posts have tears running down my cheeks in a good way . I admit there were some times when I was coughing through the Pleurisy they almost caused my demise but it was worth the worry I was gasping my last . Never change .
    polly
    Originally posted by pollyanna 26
    She has the knack doesn't she

    All I can say is I'm pleased I motor in more reliable times as if I had to travel the way you're all used too I spend my life cowering in the corner of me hoose!

    Yes we got here. Reception is intermittent, sorry but I'm sure you enjoyed the peace! The caravan needed the tractor to tow it to it's home as the ground is sodden but we're in... and never moving again! Ha.
    Please don't judge my story by the chapter that you walked in on.
    .
    • mardatha
    • By mardatha 11th Mar 18, 1:20 PM
    • 14,814 Posts
    • 141,339 Thanks
    mardatha
    Have you ever come over Soutra fuds?
    • MrsLurcherwalker
    • By MrsLurcherwalker 11th Mar 18, 2:28 PM
    • 11,667 Posts
    • 162,234 Thanks
    MrsLurcherwalker
    I don't know about B A N A N A but I do know that the filter won't let me write C A F E without coming over all exclamation markey!
    Thumpers mum was right - if you can't find anything nice to say don't say anything at all!
    • fuddle
    • By fuddle 11th Mar 18, 6:06 PM
    • 6,294 Posts
    • 96,132 Thanks
    fuddle
    Have you ever come over Soutra fuds?
    Originally posted by mardatha
    We would have done when we went to Edinburgh last October but I can't recall

    Happy Mother's Day my friends. I look up to you all, you guide me an awful, awful lot and even though some of you are only a little older than I, you have skills that I don't. For anyone who is feeling down about the day there is a wee lassie that is sat comfy back in the North East that appreciates each and everyone of you. x
    Please don't judge my story by the chapter that you walked in on.
    .
    • kittie
    • By kittie 11th Mar 18, 7:10 PM
    • 11,973 Posts
    • 74,852 Thanks
    kittie
    Maryb, a pm from me
    • Softstuff
    • By Softstuff 11th Mar 18, 7:47 PM
    • 2,862 Posts
    • 32,072 Thanks
    Softstuff
    MrsLW, maybe we're all looking at this censorship the wrong way, maybe it's a really intelligent censor, and censors that which it thinks the poster is most likely to get into trouble with. I'm not sure what you've done in a cafe, but it boggles the mind to think what Monna can do with a banana As for Mardatha, I bet she can't type sherbert dibdab without it going all !!!!!!
    Softstuff- Officially better than 007
    • MMF007
    • By MMF007 11th Mar 18, 8:20 PM
    • 1,227 Posts
    • 27,632 Thanks
    MMF007
    Oh, while I have spent 7 hours glued to my computer, with a 35 page guidance note by my side, trying to understand Scottish legal speak (filling in docs as an executor of my dad's estate), you lot have taken a drive down memory lane and invented your own rude words!

    I learnt to drive in a vauxhall viva, a very old one. The steering was vaguely controlled by the steering wheel but it was far from precise and it was huge (like a wagon's). The wipers worked AFTER you turned the engine off. Sometimes the starter motor stuck and required a sharp tap with a hammer to free it off. The gear lever was a very long stick and you sort of had to waggle it round to find the right slot in the gear box. Brakes? Very squishy, requiring quite a bit of advanced planning if you wanted to actually stop.
    Modern cars are a breeze!

    Just a thought, if bananas (incase it gets ,!!!!, I wrote b a n a n a s) gets exclamations, what will happen if I type cucumber? ((That was c u c u m b e r !).
    I have changed my work-life balance to a life-work balance.
    • monnagran
    • By monnagran 11th Mar 18, 8:54 PM
    • 3,676 Posts
    • 48,608 Thanks
    monnagran
    Thanks to my DS2 I am all charged up again and he even found me an old charger of his that works like a dream. I told him that I was so grateful he need not go up to the Co-op to get me a hasty bunch of flowers and a card. I knew that was his next move because Pickle spilled the beans. I had to give her the first lesson about the sex war. Men and boys are useless at remembering about things like cards and special days. She nodded wisely.

    Fuddle my child, we are all very proud of you. I reckon we are doing a good job bringing you up.

    Squishy brakes, MMF? My boyfriend at the time reckoned he would be safer in my car with an anchor to throw out of the window. I think all those long gear sticks wobbled about. Mine wasn't as bad as the car my friend and her boyfriend bought off a breakers yard. The four of us set of for Wales in it for a camping holiday. Halfway down a steep, winding hill, at 2 o'clock in the morning the boyfriend changed down into first gear and the gear lever came off in his hand.
    Who remembers the joy of double de-clutching?

    It's a good job our parents didn't know what we were up to.

    You see? Some people can get away with bananas and cucumbers, but 'cafe' Lyn? Tut tut. You should be ashamed of yourself.

    Persisting down here tonight. Millie was delighted because when she came in all wet she had the huge treat of a brisk rub down with a rough towel followed by half a biscuit for being a good girl. I had the other half for being an even gooder girl.

    I'm off to bed now. See you in the morning. Unless I'm around in the night.
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
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