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    • Knit Witch
    • By Knit Witch 18th Jul 17, 8:29 PM
    • 3,475Posts
    • 31,715Thanks
    Knit Witch
    The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!
    • #1
    • 18th Jul 17, 8:29 PM
    The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat! 18th Jul 17 at 8:29 PM
    As threads are going walkabout I thought I would start the next stage of this off - I will try and do the links later!
    V3ry - 389.60
Page 163
    • FairyPrincessk
    • By FairyPrincessk 12th Jan 18, 10:16 AM
    • 2,319 Posts
    • 24,728 Thanks
    Morning all,

    I managed to sleep until five today, not too long before the alarm. Another WFH day--such a luxury! I've got a list--both today's and the usual 'leftover' to do list from the rest of the week. OH is in the car again so will do the shop on his way home.

    Island/ Ivy--no show meetings with an email after the fact happen almost weekly in my job.Actually getting the email without having to chase it up is a bonus. It usually isn't a big deal since I just get on with other work, but I'd dragged myself in ill for this one and this was a repeat offender. Most of our students are lovely, but it takes awhile for them to adjust to adult expectations.


    MMF--honestly, what has turned out better than I ever expected? My whole life as it is now. When I stop to think about it I often feel as if I've won some sort of life prize. As a child I read plenty of fiction and thought I'd never see the UK or Europe, much less live here. I took a big risk on pursuing my dream job and thought I'd probably work lots of short term contracts for years before giving up..then landed my dream job in the location I wanted the first year I started really looking. I love the place I live. My OH and I are quite contented, he is happy in his job and although we'll never be rich we make enough that if we're careful with savings and prioritize we'll eventually have the things that are important to us, things my parents could never afford growing up like a house and the ability to travel. I never expected any of this.

    This seems hilarious now, but as a child I'd read lots of books set in old country houses and of course the CS Lewis books. Growing up in the states, we always had closets rather than wardrobes and I desperately wanted an old fashioned wardrobe thinking they were romantic and sites of mystery and magic. I remember being utterly thrilled when we moved overseas the first time and I had one...with a key no less!

    Monna, you know adrenaline can be such a bonus at times. A month or so before I started I wondered how I'd cope with lecturing and if I'd get nervous since I'd only done a few lectures to larger groups before. Three months later I suddenly realized I'be been lecturing to large crowds without even noticing. I barely remember the first one, I guess I just walked in and got on with it. I was too busy to think about it The performance is exhausting, but exhilarating when you see a face click with something new and interesting.

    As for bouncing out of bed, I'm an early riser but even I prefer to ease into the day...
    • MMF007
    • By MMF007 12th Jan 18, 10:56 AM
    • 1,253 Posts
    • 28,140 Thanks
    FPK, lovely post!
    I have some dear friends who have, through hard work, become fairly wealthy. They are now quite elderly and somewhat infirm but they seek to make the most of every day, laughing, doing the crossword competitively, enjoying simple things like their morning coffee taken in a sunny conservatory. But* the thing that impresses me most is that they truly appreciate what they have. My friend said to me that every morning when he looks at the view from his living room window he thinks how lucky he is. Every morning!
    I know it should be easy when you have a comfortable life but too many people have not found contentment or happiness and still yearn for something else. Or worse yet, they moan about not having more!

    I know it sounds a bit 'Pollyanna-ish' but we count our blessings every day.

    Plans for the next 2 days? We hope to go to a flower show at the local church, We may go to the cinema and on Sunday we may go to the opening of a new exhibition at the nearby art gallery (the latter is least likely because the artist's style is not to my liking, but it would be an experience!)

    *Please forgive me starting with a prepostion, I thought it made more impact!.?
    I have changed my work-life balance to a life-work balance.
    • monnagran
    • By monnagran 12th Jan 18, 11:11 AM
    • 3,775 Posts
    • 50,227 Thanks
    Mar, you are right, I had a disturbed night and finally fell into a deep sleep about 7.30. Have now woken up, imbibed coffee and consumed a slice of toast and feel half-way human. I think poor old Millie is coasting into old age and day/night confusion. She sleeps all day and is ready for fun and games as soon as I switch the light off at night.

    FairyP. I get what you say about speaking in public. I suppose that teaching removes most of those fears although when I started speaking in halls and churches I had to get used to the back wall being further away.

    MMF, the time I had to pinch myself was when I found myself in a remote village in India, with a crowd of children round me calling out, "Me, Mrs Camera. Me." They were fascinated by my digital camera and couldn't get over seeing the photograph of themselves that I had just taken. It was the first time that most of them had ever seen themselves. We then progressed to my little handbag mirror where they took turns in pulling faces at their reflections. After that we played hand clapping games as we had no common language.

    Was that really me?


    When life shuts a door...... open it again. It's a door. That's how they work.

    ETA. Cross posted MMF. You are so right. Even though some of us are emotionally hurt, physically damaged, financially strapped, our lives are a fairy tale compared with millions of people in the world. We tend to forget that.
    Last edited by monnagran; 12-01-2018 at 11:23 AM.
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
    • elona
    • By elona 12th Jan 18, 11:31 AM
    • 11,016 Posts
    • 62,162 Thanks
    Growing up in a small tenement flat in Glasgow the idea of ever living in a real house either a terrace or semi with a garden, never mind fitted carpets, central heating, a phone etc sounded like a fantasy.

    DH grew up in a small terrace and promised himself that one day he would have a profession and have a house with a garden. We both went to evening classes, worked hard etc and met at the OU while working full time at opposite ends of the country.

    I still pinch myself to realise we have four grown up DDs and after losing DH I downsized to a chalet bungalow with a garden etc. I really appreciate things like the shower and central heating even though I have had these for for over thirty years.

    Simple things like getting a book by a favourite author whether I bought it or it is a library copy and reading it with my feet up in a recliner and a cup of tea beside me makes me happy. Having dds over for a meal and finding a new recipe that is enjoyed has me chuffed to bits.
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • ivyleaf
    • By ivyleaf 12th Jan 18, 12:38 PM
    • 5,518 Posts
    • 59,261 Thanks
    Monna So glad you're all right! i hope Millie sleeps better for you tonight. I love Today's Thought

    Elona How brilliant that you and your OH met through the OU

    Hester I hope the stiffness wears off as the day goes on x

    nursemaggie any news on the housing front? Thinking of you x

    My "unbelieveable" thing was visiting new Zealand, not once but twice! The first time we went with Saga; the second time we went on our own and hired a car. I never thought I'd find myself writing a postcard that read "Paddled in the Tasman Sea today." We'll never afford to go again, but have such wonderful memories of it.

    I'd like to visit India, but I suspect I'd spend most of the time with an upset tummy

    (((HUGS))) to everyone, especially to MMF, karcher and burtha (who I hope is reading along.)
    • nursemaggie
    • By nursemaggie 12th Jan 18, 1:29 PM
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    No nothing ivyleaf. Without housing benefit I cannot afford to pay rent even if we go back to wartime rations. DS would not eat that sort of thing anyway.

    We signed up to two websites for swapping houses but our advert has not gone live yet because our Housing Association has not given permission yet.

    I am still bogged down with the problems of the housing benefit. Of course I expect DS to have to have to pay towards the rent but not at the rate of 220%.

    I have found lots and lots of errors, they are overestimating my income by 10 a week, They are asking DS to pay the rent two weeks before he got paid, that means they are taking it two weeks early. Housing Benefit is paid 4 weeks in arrears so that is another 4 weeks less and they are asking for 6.41 per week more than they paid me. That lot cuts the bill down to less than half what they are demanding from me yesterday or they will take me to court on Monday.

    I have not finished looking at their figures but so far even if I got no Housing Benefit at all the are demanding 60% more than they are entitled to so I have got Macmillan Cancer Support involved. I am waiting to hear back from them.

    The lady I spoke to yesterday says we are also entitled to a move within the housing association because of DS's commute. I am also entitled to two other benefits. I would actually rather move to another Housing Association. I don't mind as long as we get a house. After the past two months I do not want to ever have to live in a flat again.

    I think the noise from upstairs will put anyone else off. It is usually quiet between 1 am and 2 am. I don't think I could persuade anyone to view then. There is always a chance the baby will be left to scream for that hour anyway.

    Our unbelievable holiday was to Egypt. We had 4 days in Luxor and 4 days on a Nile cruise. I found a really good deal for the holiday in a magazine. It was one third of the price of the Thompson identical holiday. The only difference was they had a very slightly better hotel but were on the same cruise. It was with a small company. There were only 8 in our party so we got lots of individual attention.

    We went on the same flight, were taken to the front of the queue and taken through immigration and customs before the rest of the flight. We were all fast asleep in bed before they left the airport.
    • ivyleaf
    • By ivyleaf 12th Jan 18, 2:06 PM
    • 5,518 Posts
    • 59,261 Thanks
    Oh nm How very frustrating Someone needs to train them to use a calculator!
    • MrsLurcherwalker
    • By MrsLurcherwalker 12th Jan 18, 2:19 PM
    • 11,829 Posts
    • 164,193 Thanks
    I grew up in a cold and damp mid terraced 2 1/2 bedroom house with one cold water tap and an outside loo in the yard, we didn't get hot water until I was in my 20s in the early 70s and there was one useable fire place in one room which was the only warm place in the house but we survived and were healthy if not always comfortable. I think we weren't so very much worse off than any of our peers but my mother was a very bad time and finance manager and would rather sit and play patience and drink tea than actually clean the house. I still get up and pinch myself some days when I think of what we take as normal these days and remember when having a pair of shoes that not only fitted but didn't have a hole in them was considered by me to be luxury!
    Thumpers mum was right - if you can't find anything nice to say don't say anything at all!
    • nursemaggie
    • By nursemaggie 12th Jan 18, 2:29 PM
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    • 29,891 Thanks
    Someone needs to train the computers to use the proper figures. Apparently all these nasty threatening letters are coming from the computer. The woman from Macmillan thinks it is just the computer churning them out whether there is anyone there or not. I really was only given a week to sort it all out myself.

    Due to Christmas there was no one available to help me.

    To be honest I can work this stuff out for myself better without a calculator as like the computer it does not know when DS got paid, that housing benefit gets paid 4 weeks in arrears, and that you only pay rent 48 weeks and not 52 so that reduces the weekly rent.

    If a Private company sent me a bill worked out like that was it would be prosecuted for fraud.
    • monnagran
    • By monnagran 12th Jan 18, 4:48 PM
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    nursemaggie, I am so pleased that someone else is weighing in on your side. Macmillans is a wonderful organisation and if they get involved I think you might get somewhere.
    I hate how the computer's word is law. It only deals with ticked boxes. It cannot take into consideration whys and wherefore, circumstances and any deviations from the average. It is just Yes or No, Black or White, tick the box or we don't want to know.

    The way you are living now you would almost be better off in a tent in Aldi's car park.
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
    • camelot1001
    • By camelot1001 12th Jan 18, 5:02 PM
    • 3,884 Posts
    • 46,856 Thanks
    Hope you manage to get everything sorted quickly nursemaggie, sounds all wrong to me.

    I've just had an amazing holiday in Malaysia over Christmas and New Year, I met up with my best friend who now lives in Sydney and we had a ball, didn't think I would be able to do anything like that after DH died, either financially or confidence wise.

    I do think I am extremely lucky to be able to come home to a heated, comfortable home and have the love of my family and friends, I have very little to moan about (but I do occasionally!).
    • silvasava
    • By silvasava 12th Jan 18, 6:27 PM
    • 3,731 Posts
    • 59,894 Thanks
    NM - I get so angry when I hear about people being put in situations not of their own making that could be sorted easily by applying some common sense. Glad Macmillan are involved as hopefully they will be able to add some considerable weight for you.
    Like many of you I really appreciate my warm and comfortable home. I am also very lucky to live in an area of outstanding beauty - which I am very grateful for. I think as I've got older I also appreciate family and good friends and place less emphasis on posessions now.
    I think my 'unbelievable' thing was a retirement crisis (not mid life lol) buying a boat - I still have a lot to learn and most of the time I feel the fear & do it anyway! but I am slowly getting there (hope to get a trip to you Monna this year - its still on my list!) I'll never do a cross channel but a cross Solent is perfectly doable
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
    • nursemaggie
    • By nursemaggie 12th Jan 18, 7:00 PM
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    • 29,891 Thanks
    Monna you may be right it has two pubs and two Carveries but I don't think security would let me in.

    After tea DS was getting himself some orange juice. "there's a bit left do you want some he said." giving me the carton, I am still at the table.

    So he gets me a glass and it is still wet I washed it just before tea. I poured it out, about half a teaspoon full. It's not worth opening my mouth for I said. He went off to be laughing.
    • VJsmum
    • By VJsmum 12th Jan 18, 7:02 PM
    • 5,177 Posts
    • 76,200 Thanks
    Hello all,

    We are on the last night of our holiday . We have had a lovely time, although if I am honest, I would have liked it to be warmer.

    We have done lots and lots of walking - a 2 to 3 hour mountain walk every day. We have found the sun above the clouds...

    I have read two books and skim read a third (Jo Jo Moyes "me before you". I quite liked it but there were just too many words )

    Looking forward to seeing my kids and my own bed... But at the same time, I wish we could stay longer...
    You're out with a friend in the capital, I'm a thousand leagues under the sea
    You're hovering worriedly over your eggs, And I'm pondering trees
    I'm wandering long, And I'm pondering trees
    For you and me
    Guy Garvey
    • monnagran
    • By monnagran 13th Jan 18, 9:31 AM
    • 3,775 Posts
    • 50,227 Thanks
    Morning all. I am very tired of Millie's conviction that 4.00am is the proper time to start the day.

    Grey and dreary today so I will be up and doing this morning and then will enjoy my afternoon with a clear conscience. Curling up with a book appeals at the moment.

    VJsmum, you may well have started the journey home by now. Do you find that the journey out is exciting but the journey home is tiresome because once you start it you can only think of being home again?
    The first night in your own bed after a holiday is bliss, no matter how wonderful the holiday.

    Silvasava, The Pilot is still there and waiting, if the destination is Ryde, Harry's Bar or Ryde Castle are very good.


    People who need help sometimes look a lot like people who don't need help.
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
    • ivyleaf
    • By ivyleaf 13th Jan 18, 10:16 AM
    • 5,518 Posts
    • 59,261 Thanks
    I love your Today's Thought monna. I'm still trying to get the hang of saying "Oh, yes please!" if someone offers me help with something, rather than saying "No, no, I'm fine thanks!"
    • mardatha
    • By mardatha 13th Jan 18, 10:25 AM
    • 14,911 Posts
    • 142,633 Thanks
    Horrible dull dark blustery grey day here, am so fedup of this. I want some sunny snowy days. Hard to stay motivated some days innit..
    • Islandmaid
    • By Islandmaid 13th Jan 18, 10:38 AM
    • 2,640 Posts
    • 38,611 Thanks
    Horrible dull dark blustery grey day here, am so fedup of this. I want some sunny snowy days. Hard to stay motivated some days innit..
    Originally posted by mardatha
    Looking at the weather forecast for next week, you may get your wish - it looks COLD....

    I am looking forward to lighter evenings and spring arriving - determined to spend more time in the garden this year
    Note to self - STOP SPENDING MONEY !!
    • mardatha
    • By mardatha 13th Jan 18, 10:41 AM
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    • 142,633 Thanks
    To get colder Monday afternoon but I haven't looked past that.. scared in case it's cold rain! I find it hard to get enthusiastic about spring though as it's so far away. I found a Norwegian saying that really fits for here "As the days grow longer, the cold grows stronger". That is very true.
    • ivyleaf
    • By ivyleaf 13th Jan 18, 2:18 PM
    • 5,518 Posts
    • 59,261 Thanks
    mar Spring WILL come And I know I'm a lot further south than some of you but I spotted a couple of daffodils just poking their little green heads above ground today
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