Hello to all you hardworking peeps,

I found this forum after being directed to the Money Saving Expert document on mental health and debt problems, it wouldn't let me post the link but just google 'money saving expert mental health' if it's relevant to you, dear reader!

I found out this year at the age of 28 that I am bipolar, after years of mental health crises and existential wanderings. Things are pretty good right now - I live in a lovely flat in Hackney with my cat and another freelance writer. However when I read that document yesterday I cried a lot, realising just how much debt I have managed to accrue during what I now know to be manic episodes over the last few years.

It currently stands at £12,359.91, I had no idea it had gotten so high until I added it up in a spreadsheet just now.

I took out a £3.5k bank loan with Sainsbury's in October without even thinking about it. I had this big idea about visiting my brother in Vietnam with the money, but in the end I was so ill with depression/psychosis I couldn't even make it to the embassy to get a visa, let alone travel to south east Asia . All that debt adding to all my other debts, all for a holiday I was too unwell to even go on is a bit depressing, but I see it as part of a bigger picture of learning to understand myself and change my attitude towards money!!

I've always been a spontaneous, generous and impulsive person, bipolar or not.... and also I'm very conscientious about borrowing money which has actually backfired....My friends are incredibly generous with making personal loans to me because they know I will always pay it back when they ask for it! I've resolved for starters to stop borrowing completely, I've read on these forums how much of an important first step that is.

I'm desperate to stop this cycle of borrowing, panicking, guilt, hyperventilating with stress. I'm thrilled that this community exists - adding my current debt to my signature is the first time EVER i have taken an honest look at my finances and actually added up what I owe.

The time to take the plunge is now! I'm a self-employed freelance writer, so what I earn is totally up to my own levels of motivation and my attitude. I've had to admit that I've been stuck in a vicious cycle where I've been depressed about my financial affairs and dependency on loans and people around me, which affects my ability to focus on my work and earn more!! However I am READY to break this pattern by asking for support and taking a good look at my business and financial affairs, and believe that they can be massively improved.

Any tips from other bipolar sufferers, other freelancers, or any of you at all who I have seen work so hard to get debt-free would be greatly appreciated!! Any support or advice I will take wholeheartedly!!

P.S. I also design great value and attractive Wordpress websites, so if any of you need a website to get a business/idea going I'm your girl And it'd be going straight off my debt total too

All the best to anyone who reads this,

Anna