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  • FIRST POST
    • Quasar
    • By Quasar 13th Jun 17, 1:05 PM
    • 113,715Posts
    • 232,875Thanks
    Quasar
    Airport full body scan status report
    • #1
    • 13th Jun 17, 1:05 PM
    Airport full body scan status report 13th Jun 17 at 1:05 PM
    >BAA

    > Finally, some useful facts are coming out about all of those airport full body scans!

    > FULL BODY SCANS AT AIRPORTS
    >
    > UK Airport Authority disclosed the following Airport Screening Results
    > December 2014 Statistics On Airport Full Body Screening

    > Terrorists Discovered 0
    > Crossdressers 133
    > Hernias 1,485
    > Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
    > Enlarged Prostates 8,249
    > Breast Implants 59,350
    > Natural Blondes 3
    > It was also discovered that 308 politicians had no balls.
    >
    Last edited by Quasar; 13-06-2017 at 1:15 PM.
    After all, cellulite is just a packet of crisps that made it.
Page 1
    • peachyprice
    • By peachyprice 13th Jun 17, 8:44 PM
    • 19,218 Posts
    • 44,422 Thanks
    peachyprice
    • #2
    • 13th Jun 17, 8:44 PM
    • #2
    • 13th Jun 17, 8:44 PM
    Can you add my sparkly knickers detected last week please
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
    • Geoff1963
    • By Geoff1963 13th Jun 17, 9:55 PM
    • 1,055 Posts
    • 682 Thanks
    Geoff1963
    • #3
    • 13th Jun 17, 9:55 PM
    • #3
    • 13th Jun 17, 9:55 PM
    The BBC recently had a news item about tampons and airline security :
    h..p://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-40221010
    • Head The Ball
    • By Head The Ball 18th Jun 17, 6:32 PM
    • 3,301 Posts
    • 7,875 Thanks
    Head The Ball
    • #4
    • 18th Jun 17, 6:32 PM
    • #4
    • 18th Jun 17, 6:32 PM

    > It was also discovered that 308 politicians had no balls.
    Originally posted by Quasar
    Female politicians perhaps.
    Who'll remember the ones
    who only rode in them to die
    All their lives are just a smudge
    of smoke against the sky
    • Head The Ball
    • By Head The Ball 18th Jun 17, 6:35 PM
    • 3,301 Posts
    • 7,875 Thanks
    Head The Ball
    • #5
    • 18th Jun 17, 6:35 PM
    • #5
    • 18th Jun 17, 6:35 PM
    The BBC recently had a news item about tampons and airline security :
    h..p://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-40221010
    Originally posted by Geoff1963
    If the ladies have problems with Tampons at some security checks, they can always use this method.

    Vagina-sealing glue-stick: a terrifying new alternative to traditional sanitary products.

    A male inventor in the US has horrified the internet with his new product - the Mensez Adhesive Vaginal Lipstick.

    Created by one Dr Daniel Dopps of Wichita, Kansas, the invention, which was granted a US patent on January 10, is described on his LinkedIn page as a “natural compound of amino acids and oil in a lipstick that is applied to the labia minora which causes them to cling together in a manner strong enough to retain menstrual fluid in the vestibule above the labia minora where the vaginal opening and urethra exit.”

    In other words, it does away with the need for tampons or sanitary towels by literally gluing your vagina shut.

    "It breaks down instantly with urine, retaining menstrual fluid in the vagina until urinatation," he continues. "Upon urinating the seal releases and allows the urine along with the menstrual fluid to exit into the toilet. Think of it as potty training the period, cleaner, healthier, more secure, less risk of infections.
    Who'll remember the ones
    who only rode in them to die
    All their lives are just a smudge
    of smoke against the sky
    • MothballsWallet
    • By MothballsWallet 28th Jun 17, 8:33 PM
    • 12,239 Posts
    • 16,419 Thanks
    MothballsWallet
    • #6
    • 28th Jun 17, 8:33 PM
    • #6
    • 28th Jun 17, 8:33 PM
    Female politicians perhaps.
    Originally posted by Head The Ball
    And quite a few of the male ones as well I'd imagine
    Always ask yourself one question: What would Gibbs do?

    I live in the UK City of Culture 2021

    I had to put mothballs in my wallet - the moths had learned the PINs to my cards...
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