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    • MSE Sarah
    • By MSE Sarah 8th Jun 17, 5:26 PM
    • 119Posts
    • 63Thanks
    MSE Sarah
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask a friend for my money back?
    • #1
    • 8th Jun 17, 5:26 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask a friend for my money back? 8th Jun 17 at 5:26 PM
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    I bought a sofa for a friend which cost 250. It turned out not to be suitable and they sold it a couple of weeks later for 100. Who should get the money?

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

    If you haven!!!8217;t already, join the forum to reply!

    This Forum tip was included in's weekly email!
    Last edited by MSE Luke; 12-06-2017 at 12:05 PM.
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Page 1
    • flyingflea
    • By flyingflea 13th Jun 17, 11:34 PM
    • 167 Posts
    • 151 Thanks
    • #2
    • 13th Jun 17, 11:34 PM
    • #2
    • 13th Jun 17, 11:34 PM
    Seems a bit cheeky if you ask me. They should have let you return it or at the very least offered you the 100.
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 13th Jun 17, 11:44 PM
    • 3,299 Posts
    • 3,515 Thanks
    • #3
    • 13th Jun 17, 11:44 PM
    • #3
    • 13th Jun 17, 11:44 PM
    Depends if it was a gift then you weren't expecting anything back, so no you are not entitled to it.

    If it was a loan, then yes.
    • Dpp83
    • By Dpp83 14th Jun 17, 6:21 AM
    • 1 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    • #4
    • 14th Jun 17, 6:21 AM
    • #4
    • 14th Jun 17, 6:21 AM
    No you shouldn't if it is a gift they should be able to do what ever they like with it pass it on , bin it or sell it and if this one wasn't suitable with the money from the sale they could buy new one which they like or something what they need which works out chief as an a exchange of the gift nothing wrong with that better have something useful and the fact that you've made them a gift still counts
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 14th Jun 17, 8:06 AM
    • 23,921 Posts
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    • #5
    • 14th Jun 17, 8:06 AM
    • #5
    • 14th Jun 17, 8:06 AM
    Strange gift!
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • macca0507
    • By macca0507 14th Jun 17, 8:56 AM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    • #6
    • 14th Jun 17, 8:56 AM
    • #6
    • 14th Jun 17, 8:56 AM
    Absolutely not. If you bought something for someone and they decide to move it on then it your your gift to them that they sold. Now, depending on how they told you their intentions should be a way of questioning the friendship but the money should 100% be theirs.
    • gloriouslyhappy
    • By gloriouslyhappy 14th Jun 17, 8:58 AM
    • 370 Posts
    • 738 Thanks
    • #7
    • 14th Jun 17, 8:58 AM
    • #7
    • 14th Jun 17, 8:58 AM
    Why did you buy an unsuitable sofa in the first place? More info needed - did you buy it because you liked it when they said they needed a sofa, or did they ask for that specific one? Did they use the 100 from the sale to buy a new sofa? Having said that, once a gift is made it's their property to do with as they please, but it would be a strange friendship if they didn't tell you their plans before selling the gift so quickly.
    • meknowalot-51
    • By meknowalot-51 14th Jun 17, 8:59 AM
    • 171 Posts
    • 91 Thanks
    • #8
    • 14th Jun 17, 8:59 AM
    • #8
    • 14th Jun 17, 8:59 AM
    You bought your friend a sofa,...........what they decide to do with it is none of your business.A friend would have told you they didnt like it,a friend would have told you they didnt want it,from what your saying im assuming you just turned up one day with the sofa thinking you could help them out.Next time you should ask and it's not all bad,at least they've got 100 to buy something of their choice.As for the money...... forget it.
    • pebs boiley
    • By pebs boiley 14th Jun 17, 9:06 AM
    • 9 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    pebs boiley
    • #9
    • 14th Jun 17, 9:06 AM
    Money back for friends sofa
    • #9
    • 14th Jun 17, 9:06 AM
    This all depends on whether you bought the sofa for your friend as a gift, in which case it was theirs the moment you gave it them and therefor they can do whatever they want with it. But if you loaned them the money to buy it, then of course they should either give you back the full value of the money loaned, whatever they do with it.
    • Teacher2
    • By Teacher2 14th Jun 17, 9:11 AM
    • 331 Posts
    • 2,571 Thanks
    Technically I suppose if it was theirs it was theirs to sell. But what a way to treat you! To sell your gift and, not only that, to undersell it and tell you. Don't buy them anything else. They are ungrateful and bad mannered.
    • csreader
    • By csreader 14th Jun 17, 9:18 AM
    • 13 Posts
    • 11 Thanks
    If your friend had kept the 250, the sofa belongs to you, and you should get the 100.
    But if the friend had returned the 250 to you, you have no reason to claim any of the 100.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 14th Jun 17, 9:28 AM
    • 2,666 Posts
    • 7,146 Thanks
    Sounds like you picked a really ugly sofa!

    Agree that it's a very odd gift, suggest maybe alcohol or gift vouchers next time.
    • tallgirld
    • By tallgirld 14th Jun 17, 10:16 AM
    • 473 Posts
    • 312 Thanks
    Where do they even sell sofas that cheap?
    Why would you buy something like a sofa without checking that it is to their taste and liking?
    They sold it 2 weeks later. Obviously couldn't wait to get rid of it!
    I would love to see a photo of this sofa
    My opinion is it's their money to keep!
    • marich
    • By marich 14th Jun 17, 10:24 AM
    • 109 Posts
    • 119 Thanks
    Stupid !
    The info doesn't tell us enough .

    Is this just another half-cocked 'made-up-by-up- in-the-office' job ?

    Are 'you' stupid and clueless , is your 'friend' a brazen chancer ?

    Why are so many witless , greedy , small-minded and immoral people linked so closely to MSE's 'dilemma' page ?

    Is this how MSE staff see 'us' ?

    Must get a life and stop being drawn into these things...
    • stmartinsdiver
    • By stmartinsdiver 14th Jun 17, 11:13 AM
    • 111 Posts
    • 115 Thanks
    If this was a gift then I'd say your friends are not friends at all if they didn't offer you the 100 they got fot the sofa assuming it was sold soon after they received it.
    • hergerbabe
    • By hergerbabe 14th Jun 17, 11:38 AM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    If you give someone a gift, it's theirs to do with as they please. However, I'd reassess my friendship as that was more than a little cheeky.
    • gycraig
    • By gycraig 14th Jun 17, 1:08 PM
    • 431 Posts
    • 315 Thanks
    Wouldn't expect the money back but would probably discard the friend
    • John Gray
    • By John Gray 14th Jun 17, 1:16 PM
    • 5,188 Posts
    • 2,965 Thanks
    John Gray
    The result is the exact opposite of
    "Sofa, so good!"

    (That joke must be worth 150 of anyone's money!)
    • what's in a name?
    • By what's in a name? 14th Jun 17, 2:04 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    what's in a name?
    Whether a real situation or an 'office generated' one, people do try to do things for their friends that do not always work out. Maybe the choice of sofa was based on what the friend had previously or looked a better version. Seeking someone's input can be difficult if you are wanting to give them a surprise. The buyer must have thought there was a need, even if the gesture did not end up being as 'helpful' as intended!

    It is difficult to judge the recipient's feelings about the 'gift'. Maybe they were pleased, maybe they weren't, maybe they were embarrassed? A quick sale is uncomfortable for both, especially not knowing the reason for it. Was it to get a more appropriate one? Was it just to get rid of it? The sofa, albeit it only weeks old, was effectively second-hand and would not have fetched as high a price as when bought new, Returning the sofa to the seller may have been difficult if nothing was wrong with it. It is impossible to know whether returning the sofa to the giver was considered by the recipient or whether the offer was made but rejected.

    The actions of both cannot be undone but going forward may be difficult. I think the giver will have to 'let it go' for their own peace of mind - they tried to 'help', even if it was viewed as interference or controlling or unwelcome. Whether the friendship can survive or not will depend on whether both parties can talk the issue through; much easier said than done! Sadly, the phrase 'no good deed goes unpunished' comes to mind.
    Last edited by what's in a name?; 14-06-2017 at 2:11 PM. Reason: Addition of another sentence.
    • Malthusian
    • By Malthusian 14th Jun 17, 4:22 PM
    • 4,095 Posts
    • 6,412 Thanks
    As with all Money Moral Dilemmas, the answer is "no".
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