All Gone Wrong - Housing offer.

deannatrois wrote: »

So I have one option. Its all that is left.

...

Maybe afterwards there will be an investigation, I don't know.

...

My poor kids. But I can't help them. I've spent the afternoon screaming. Trying to find help. Trying to talk calmly, Breaking down when I couldn't. There's nothing.

Deanna, I hope I'm being over-anxious in how I'm reading the bits I've quoted and they don't mean you're thinking of doing something silly. Things may seem very hopeless but your children need you. Call the Samaritans if you need somebody to listen to what you're going through tonight (and we will be here too).

If I am reading that too dramatically, I apologise. Hugs to you either way.

There is something you can do. You have a choice.

I totally understand that you are anxious and upset but you owe it to yourself and to your family to spend some time trying to make this work, not to crumble and make assumptions. You must talk properly with the housing officer. Just rejecting the offer out of hand is self-sabotage - I do understand why, it is not a criticism, it is what it is. You have more time to reject it, it didn't have to be done straight away.

One step at a time. Instead of concentrating on the end goal, concentrate on the first baby step.

Undo the rejection. Give yourself some time to make a properly considered decision.

Make a list of questions. Email the housing officer. Ask about seeing the house and ask if the other family would also be prepared to wait for another couple of weeks. Ask how it works with a swap if the house has items left behind or needs repairs.

And if it doesn't suit you once you have seen the house and had replies, then do you get the chance of another offer of a genuinely empty property? I get the feeling that a swap is the best opportunity to move earlier.

The only thing you *ever* have to deal with is the next 60 seconds.

deannatrois wrote: »

I must be supremely nieve but I dont' understand how housing can treat my family in this way. Maybe afterwards there will be an investigation, I don't know. All I can hope for. Why couldn't they offer me something workable? They just arent' listening at all.

My poor kids. But I can't help them. I've spent the afternoon screaming. Trying to find help. Trying to talk calmly, Breaking down when I couldn't. There's nothing.
Dreadful situation. Sorry folks.

An investigation? For what? Because of the 2 week time scale given and some misconceptions about the deaf and educationally challenged being unable to communicate and will leave furniture behind?
If the folks at Gravesend Housing are so incompetent that in your estimation need to be investigated, I think it's a great idea to communicate with this couple directly. Maybe they would also like the extra time to move? Maybe they are decent people who could help you move or know someone who could help.
If this is a "bedroom tax" issue I'm sure they would want to make this work as much as you do.

All good advice.

Also the couple have a child, unless the child is very small they may be used to communicating for their parents. Either way this couple will have mechanisms in place to communicate.

I used to date a man who was deaf. I had a full blown panic attack in New York and (from the UK) he managed to calm me down and get a car to take me back to my hotel. His communication skills were far better than mine because he couldn't take them for granted like most of us can.

I hope you're feeling less overwhelmed today. Let us know how you get on with speaking to the housing officer.

I was just about to mention that the child, if older, is likely to be able to help the parents communicate. They must be fairly proficient at they would not be left alone to rear a child.


If the property isn't too far away,go for a little walk tonight. You will get a feel for the vicinity and can tell a lot about the interior of a house just by looking at the outside. eg furniture on the front lawn does not bode well for the interior, but a well kept garden does.


Do have a look inside before agreeing, as my son stuck in a small two bedroom with partner and three children of both sexes,was offered a number of swaps, all of which were in a bad state (a problem as decorating grants are no longer offered), but they now have a lovely house after hanging on.


In this case the housing officer actually told my son that he would not accept the dilapidated properties,but I believe with some authorities you are only allowed a small number of freuals before you are moved down the priority list, so be careful.