Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 20th Apr 17, 2:59 PM
    • 6,059Posts
    • 37,863Thanks
    in need of direction
    A whole new world, for now
    • #1
    • 20th Apr 17, 2:59 PM
    A whole new world, for now 20th Apr 17 at 2:59 PM
    So, hereís the new thread Iíve been promising myself for a few months. My old one, that served me so well, is http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=4855808

    A potted history of me. Iím 49, live in NI with OH, DD and dog and DS is London based.
    Have been in debt for a lot of my life and came here post personal debt but with the aim to clear my mortgage. I believe DFD to be the right place for me as a lot of whatís outstanding on the mortgage related to consolidation of other debts. The rates were lower and I just didnít consider the payback period.
    Having been a wage slave for some 30 years, I recently jacked in my well paid and secure job for a number of reasons. While I love what I do, I hated the environment in which I did it. I regularly travelled 6 hours a day, on my own time and had to ask others to do likewise. That was the downside about caring for my clients. While I continued, and got others, to deliver at the expense of my home life, my health and my finances, the firm continued to let me. I decided that Iíd sooner have some self respect than stay there. We also had an unexpected and untimely family bereavement last year which sparked the whole ďlifeís too shortĒ train of thought. The downside is this is the first time since I was 17 that I donít have an income and itís a big adjustment.
    To address this, Iíve decided to go the self employed route, for now (hence the title). One problem though is timing. We have booked a holiday in May for OHís big birthday and Iíve decided that is set in stone. We will be travelling half way round the world for two weeks to initially see pandas and then the delights of Tokyo. Weíve only been together just over 10 years so this is really our first landmark birthday to be properly celebrated, we were still bedding in last big date.
    So, work wise, Iíve created my website, taken out a separate mobile contract and opened a business bank account. Iíve also registered with HMRC to keep things tidy.
    Otherwise, since being unemployed, Iíve had a parking ticket refunded, gained a free overnight stay following a complaint to a hotel that disappointed and have signed up for a new loyalty card for my local Co-Op. I also switched to a cheaper mobile service and got my boiler serviced which restored the hot water! First world pleasure that is so easy to overlook. I've donated two bikes to a local charity, done a number of strolls to offload donations to charity shop, claimed topcashback, £20 from PA, £5 swagbucks voucher and am trying to declutter. My last car went with the job so I realised what a paucity of local shops there in despite being only 15 mins by bus from the city centre.
    The lack of car was proving to be an issue for family and other reasons so today we get a PCH car delivered that we have committed to for 4 years. This takes us into the realm of needing to use the mortgage off set savings to fund expenses. It also gives me a minimum level of income to achieve as eating into savings bothers me.
    So, whatís the plan?
    I lodged £2000 in my business bank account at the start of March and most of it is still there. By September, Iíd like to have this repaid to either the savings or the mortgage or to have secured an income stream that will enable that to happen shortly thereafter. Iíd also like a £1k buffer in the business account to make sure that I can take advantage of opportunities as they arise.
    I have applied for a few part time consultancy type posts, been unsuccessful at interview for the first, but will actively seek out these opportunities. Iíve provided associates with my contact details but come June, I will start more actively promoting myself. Iíve sought input from my LA business support services but to little avail so far. Iíve attended a few courses and networking events and will continue with these to keep some kind of a profile and, post holiday, will be creating an event that will hopefully income generate and/or build profile.
    I will continue to seek out vouchers and deals and will try to live cheaply but donít feel I can ask this of the others in the house as giving up the job was down to me. I will also get rid of extraneous items, for cash where possible.
    What I can see is that despite living semi frugally, or so I believed, we wasted A LOT!
    Today my outstanding mortgage is £83,478.58. By 31 Dec, based on just making standard payments, this will be £78,900. My target is for this to be £75,000.
    Today my available off set pot is £3,415.43. By 31 Dec, Iíd like this to be at £5,500.
    The truth is Iíd like the first figure to be a lot lower and the second to be a lot higher but I need to start somewhere.
    We still have our emergency fund intact and hopefully enough in the current account to address our living expenses shortfall at least to the year end. Spends for the holiday are ringfenced with any left overs going on extras for all.
    I have to confess to having what Iíve heard described as an internal Verucca Salt! When I want it, I want it now. I need to learn some restraint both in terms of shopping and also sugar consumption. Itís weird but one thing |I really struggle with is what to have for lunch.
    Anyhow, now that the car is here, Iím off to the dry cleaners and to pick up some groceries as I have a £5 voucher off a £25 shop. I may also buy a new toilet brush!
    Today I am grateful for
    The support I have consistently received from here

    Company from the dog

    E Mail
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £65379.50 target £65,000 by 05/04/19 Offset fund today £826.16 target £1000 by 31/12/19
    Emergency fund £4250/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 13st 6lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
Page 91
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 12th Jun 19, 5:33 PM
    • 4,695 Posts
    • 14,501 Thanks
    Verbatim
    Glad that's done and dusted for you and that your OH managed the driving. Hope there's no scarring.
    Vx
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 12th Jun 19, 8:35 PM
    • 10,531 Posts
    • 84,182 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I'm glad your procedure went well INOD. I expect it's a relief to get that out of the way .
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £3,000/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £2,005/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £159.37/£500
    PREMIUM BONDS ME = £200. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £200
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 13th Jun 19, 7:40 AM
    • 4,608 Posts
    • 29,343 Thanks
    doingitanyway
    Pleased it went well too. Have a good day.
    Car costs savings: 500
    Xmas savings 250
    IF NOT NOW THEN WHEN?
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 13th Jun 19, 7:50 AM
    • 6,059 Posts
    • 37,863 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Thanks everyone, so far it’s all good but yesterday I wobbled. I wasn’t in pain, etc. Just felt fragile iyswim. It was weird. Did very little bar tipping point, the chase and the soaps though I did watch eat well for less. I reckon I could have saved the family the amount saved and then some. As for some of the old style pros on here. They could probably have lived for a year on the monthly spend.
    I did follow up with post office money yesterday as they still haven’t refunded my deposit from pre Easter when I tried opening a savings account. I can’t wait for the response. Today I have a list to complete and have set a time target to get two things cleared before popmaster.

    Today I am grateful for
    No complications
    A paid invoice
    The ability to recognise the sound of the windowcleaner’s ladder in time to hide myself and my dignity under the covers!
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £65379.50 target £65,000 by 05/04/19 Offset fund today £826.16 target £1000 by 31/12/19
    Emergency fund £4250/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 13st 6lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 13th Jun 19, 8:32 PM
    • 15,923 Posts
    • 55,445 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Glad it went alright, take it easy, if you understand the concept

    XX
    Debt Free as of 26/07/19 (third time is the charm!) Now paying myself back all my savings! Target 1= 4981/5000 (across all accounts) Avoiding the CC!
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 14th Jun 19, 7:06 AM
    • 6,059 Posts
    • 37,863 Thanks
    in need of direction
    So, got a reply from post office money. They have up to 8 weeks to investigate my complaint and won’t be issuing a refund while that is underway. How ridiculous is it that they won’t give me my money back when they refunded half of our deposit to dh. This is the third story we have been given. Yet another organisation that has no interest in improving by learning from issues.

    Yesterday I got the worst news about a newborn. This is devastating particularly for the parents for whom this is a first child. It really does make you wonder.

    I was not at all productive yesterday and that needs to change today. On the plus side, I found some necessary paperwork so will be able to progress something today. Dinner last night was from fridge, store cupboard and included something that had lived too long in the freezer so was good to get it used. There are partial left overs that will fill a sandwich so breakfast has me back on porridge. I have been consuming vast quantities of tea while at home. I need to up the water instead.

    Today I am grateful for
    DS responding well to an issue
    Support on a work matter
    A tasty dinner
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £65379.50 target £65,000 by 05/04/19 Offset fund today £826.16 target £1000 by 31/12/19
    Emergency fund £4250/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 13st 6lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 14th Jun 19, 8:37 PM
    • 66,940 Posts
    • 302,933 Thanks
    beanielou
    Sorry about the horrid news
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14. MFW. 17 months to mortgage freedom.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~**
    **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 14th Jun 19, 8:42 PM
    • 10,531 Posts
    • 84,182 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    That's really awful customer service from the Post Office!

    I'm sorry to hear about the baby, that's very sad.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £3,000/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £2,005/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £159.37/£500
    PREMIUM BONDS ME = £200. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £200
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 14th Jun 19, 9:51 PM
    • 3,267 Posts
    • 21,075 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    How very sad about the baby, and vexing about the Post Office.
    MFW #30 Overpaid by £4,100.58/£3000 in 2018 Overpaid by £2877.91/2,880.00 to 04/09/19. Decluttered in 2019: 1,899/2,019 as of 11/10/19
    • jwil
    • By jwil 15th Jun 19, 7:17 AM
    • 11,069 Posts
    • 40,479 Thanks
    jwil
    Glad your op went ok. What horrible news about the baby Hope you hear something positive from the PO.
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 15th Jun 19, 10:05 AM
    • 6,059 Posts
    • 37,863 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Someone recently asked me what I do to decompress. The worrying reality is that I donít know. Iím also aware of an increasing number of tolerations rather than putting myself in a position where I would be considered a nag. Why is that more important to me than creating an environment with which I am comfortable. I do not cope well being cooped up. This week has highlighted that fact yet this is something that I frequently inflict on myself out of laziness or fear. I really need to tackle this. We are all here to live as opposed to existing or waiting until. What if we never reach the until? What a waste that would be. I give too much time and energy worrying about what ifs. I have always done this and I donít think I am any further forward. I see people post here, want to support them but frequently do not post in case what I say isnít worded just right and can be misinterpreted or considered to be prying. Why canít I just trust others to ask if my meaning isnít clear.

    Today I am going to call my hairdresser and go get a wash a blow dry as I canít guarantee to keep my wound dry while washing my hair myself and it bothers me when my hair isnít clean. Why didnít I do this before? Because I donít feel right spending the money Justin case. It is actually in my purse. This is a messed up way of thinking that needs to stop. I also need to stop hiding from life by playing stupid games that give no enjoyment or by wasting time on here. There are so many other ways that I waste time, itís scarey. Right Iím off to book and appointment and, if my normal place canít fit me in, there are others.

    Today I am grateful for
    The lightbulb moment described above
    A mini plan
    The support that I get on here
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £65379.50 target £65,000 by 05/04/19 Offset fund today £826.16 target £1000 by 31/12/19
    Emergency fund £4250/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 13st 6lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 15th Jun 19, 4:27 PM
    • 10,531 Posts
    • 84,182 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Life is definitely too short not to do the things that make you happy INOD. You deserve to be happy, comfortable and secure.

    I'm very glad you've booked to have your hair washed as it will make you feel better . You work so hard that you deserve a treat now and again.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £3,000/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £2,005/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £159.37/£500
    PREMIUM BONDS ME = £200. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £200
    • milann
    • By milann 15th Jun 19, 5:40 PM
    • 2,959 Posts
    • 18,328 Thanks
    milann
    Iíve realised how important my environment is to me. I can do lived in but I need clean and a declutter does me a power of good. I hadnít clocked how colour affects my mood either. I painted my bedroom a bluey/purple/grey with check beige/grey curtains the summer before last. Iíd admired a friendís with this colour way. It really brought me down, there was nothing wrong with it so I reluctant to paint it.....new bright blue curtains and a picture with pink and blue butterflies and grey/pink/blue bedding has made such a difference and lifted my mood - I donít know if itís coincidence but Iíve slept so much better too (but that could be because Iím not worrying about hospital) so Iím loving your new plan. Life is too short to be filled with and be doing things that get us down (although I know sometimes we have to)
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 15th Jun 19, 10:40 PM
    • 3,267 Posts
    • 21,075 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    Having clean hair is amazingly confidence-building. I remember reading a story from WW2, in fact from the day war was declared, and a woman said to her friend 'Well, Hitler's not going to catch me with dirty hair' and went off to wash it. For some reason that story stuck with me: she knew how to face the situation with her head held high and refused to let a major situation make the everyday worse than it had to be.

    Someone recently asked me what I do to decompress. The worrying reality is that I don’t know. I’m also aware of an increasing number of tolerations rather than putting myself in a position where I would be considered a nag. Why is that more important to me than creating an environment with which I am comfortable.
    Originally posted by in need of direction
    I wonder if asking the questions is in fact the first step to finding the answers? I had the same feeling when I realised once that I had no plans for the future and had to dig deep and give myself time to begin to find what I wanted/hoped for. Eventually I got there, and I expect you will too.

    Re: tolerations and comfort zones, I think the reason this is coming to mind now is that the increasing number of tolerations is getting to the point where you are out of your comfort zone. Previously the comfort zone was to do with how people feel about you, now it's veering towards how you feel, which is a healthy thing. You might be able to make the transition by choosing your 'battles' (or at least some of them). Also, there may be things other people would be happy to change but aren't aware of - maybe even things that bother them and they are reluctant to speak out and might be glad of you saying something.

    Don't try to take it all on at once - maybe just find one thing to change this week, or whatever works for you, but remember what you are feeling is important and your comfort and wellbeing matter.
    MFW #30 Overpaid by £4,100.58/£3000 in 2018 Overpaid by £2877.91/2,880.00 to 04/09/19. Decluttered in 2019: 1,899/2,019 as of 11/10/19
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 16th Jun 19, 8:10 AM
    • 6,059 Posts
    • 37,863 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Thanks everyone for the understanding, support and advice. Interestingly I used a hairdresser I’d never been in before as my own couldn’t fit me in. Even with a fairly generous tip, they were lovely, it was cheaper than my usual place. Yesterday’s step was eating lunch at a table then setting my laptop up on the table. I tackled some items on my to do list and left my laptop behind when I went to watch tv. I need to stop trying to combine the two.

    Today I will do some more work but I will stick to not in front of the telly. This may sound ridiculous but I realised that my kitchen is a nice room.

    Today I am grateful for
    Comfort from the dog during a meltdown
    An appreciation of something good
    2 out of 12 eBay items with bids
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £65379.50 target £65,000 by 05/04/19 Offset fund today £826.16 target £1000 by 31/12/19
    Emergency fund £4250/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 13st 6lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 17th Jun 19, 8:08 AM
    • 6,059 Posts
    • 37,863 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Well, the laptop stayed on the table and I got some specific things done. I didn’t manage everything I wanted but it is what it is. Today I have a clear plan of attack. Yesterday I also went out to the garden and cut down some stuff that had been bothering me. I didn’t get it removed which is what’s needed but I did get rid of some of the growth. I need to learn to take that.
    On other news, 3 of the 12 eBay items sold. One for more than expected which was good. I also got dh to list an item while the other sales were running. We have been approached to state a price for it and that was within an hour of listing so it looks like that will go.

    On the tolerations side, in addition to the weeds, there was an area in the bathroom that was annoying me as it was grubby. It took less than 5 minutes to make a difference. I also went on the hunt for an item and, as a consequence, tidied some areas.

    I also contacted a friend and have arranged to meet for dinner in 2 weeks.

    Today I am grateful for
    eBay sales
    The four legged fiend
    Progress albeit definitely not perfection
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £65379.50 target £65,000 by 05/04/19 Offset fund today £826.16 target £1000 by 31/12/19
    Emergency fund £4250/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 13st 6lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 17th Jun 19, 11:06 AM
    • 3,267 Posts
    • 21,075 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    It sounds like good progress! Well done on the ebay sales too.
    MFW #30 Overpaid by £4,100.58/£3000 in 2018 Overpaid by £2877.91/2,880.00 to 04/09/19. Decluttered in 2019: 1,899/2,019 as of 11/10/19
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 17th Jun 19, 4:32 PM
    • 66,940 Posts
    • 302,933 Thanks
    beanielou
    Good news on the ebay sales & contacting a friend.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14. MFW. 17 months to mortgage freedom.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~**
    **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • jwil
    • By jwil 18th Jun 19, 6:51 AM
    • 11,069 Posts
    • 40,479 Thanks
    jwil
    Well done on the sales and making progress
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 18th Jun 19, 7:56 AM
    • 6,059 Posts
    • 37,863 Thanks
    in need of direction
    So, dressing taken off and stitches are gone and minimal if any scarring apparent. I’m so relieved. Went to the client afterwards and got away around ten, I was shattered and slept like the dead. Up to now I’d been worrying about scratching the wound while sleeping so couldn’t settle properly.

    Yesterday I also contacted the hospital about my diabetes review that was due in April. First appointment is in September which means I can not adjust drugs until after that. This means that if I restart the bs diet, I could be at risk of hypos. Looks like the health service is sicker than I. I also contacted my credit card company about a purchase made that resulted in the wrong items being provided that I have been arguing with the supplier since April. The credit card company were great and it looks like a refund is likely.

    On eBay news, the items sold and a price was agreed for the new item and it’ll go to a new home. There’s still a lot of stuff to be listed plus a few more charity shop items have been bagged up.

    Work wise, I called a former client who has agreed to act as a reference for a piece of work I’d like to bid for. I want to talk to another today and then need to diary in time to work on the bid. It’s to do work that I like so fingers crossed for it.

    Today I am grateful for
    The skills of our health service. I find that once you get to the right person, the quality and commitment is second to none.
    Progress at that client
    Sales that declutter
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £65379.50 target £65,000 by 05/04/19 Offset fund today £826.16 target £1000 by 31/12/19
    Emergency fund £4250/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 13st 6lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

1,935Posts Today

7,469Users online

Martin's Twitter