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  • FIRST POST
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 20th Apr 17, 3:59 PM
    • 5,258Posts
    • 30,884Thanks
    in need of direction
    A whole new world, for now
    • #1
    • 20th Apr 17, 3:59 PM
    A whole new world, for now 20th Apr 17 at 3:59 PM
    So, hereís the new thread Iíve been promising myself for a few months. My old one, that served me so well, is http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=4855808

    A potted history of me. Iím 49, live in NI with OH, DD and dog and DS is London based.
    Have been in debt for a lot of my life and came here post personal debt but with the aim to clear my mortgage. I believe DFD to be the right place for me as a lot of whatís outstanding on the mortgage related to consolidation of other debts. The rates were lower and I just didnít consider the payback period.
    Having been a wage slave for some 30 years, I recently jacked in my well paid and secure job for a number of reasons. While I love what I do, I hated the environment in which I did it. I regularly travelled 6 hours a day, on my own time and had to ask others to do likewise. That was the downside about caring for my clients. While I continued, and got others, to deliver at the expense of my home life, my health and my finances, the firm continued to let me. I decided that Iíd sooner have some self respect than stay there. We also had an unexpected and untimely family bereavement last year which sparked the whole ďlifeís too shortĒ train of thought. The downside is this is the first time since I was 17 that I donít have an income and itís a big adjustment.
    To address this, Iíve decided to go the self employed route, for now (hence the title). One problem though is timing. We have booked a holiday in May for OHís big birthday and Iíve decided that is set in stone. We will be travelling half way round the world for two weeks to initially see pandas and then the delights of Tokyo. Weíve only been together just over 10 years so this is really our first landmark birthday to be properly celebrated, we were still bedding in last big date.
    So, work wise, Iíve created my website, taken out a separate mobile contract and opened a business bank account. Iíve also registered with HMRC to keep things tidy.
    Otherwise, since being unemployed, Iíve had a parking ticket refunded, gained a free overnight stay following a complaint to a hotel that disappointed and have signed up for a new loyalty card for my local Co-Op. I also switched to a cheaper mobile service and got my boiler serviced which restored the hot water! First world pleasure that is so easy to overlook. I've donated two bikes to a local charity, done a number of strolls to offload donations to charity shop, claimed topcashback, £20 from PA, £5 swagbucks voucher and am trying to declutter. My last car went with the job so I realised what a paucity of local shops there in despite being only 15 mins by bus from the city centre.
    The lack of car was proving to be an issue for family and other reasons so today we get a PCH car delivered that we have committed to for 4 years. This takes us into the realm of needing to use the mortgage off set savings to fund expenses. It also gives me a minimum level of income to achieve as eating into savings bothers me.
    So, whatís the plan?
    I lodged £2000 in my business bank account at the start of March and most of it is still there. By September, Iíd like to have this repaid to either the savings or the mortgage or to have secured an income stream that will enable that to happen shortly thereafter. Iíd also like a £1k buffer in the business account to make sure that I can take advantage of opportunities as they arise.
    I have applied for a few part time consultancy type posts, been unsuccessful at interview for the first, but will actively seek out these opportunities. Iíve provided associates with my contact details but come June, I will start more actively promoting myself. Iíve sought input from my LA business support services but to little avail so far. Iíve attended a few courses and networking events and will continue with these to keep some kind of a profile and, post holiday, will be creating an event that will hopefully income generate and/or build profile.
    I will continue to seek out vouchers and deals and will try to live cheaply but donít feel I can ask this of the others in the house as giving up the job was down to me. I will also get rid of extraneous items, for cash where possible.
    What I can see is that despite living semi frugally, or so I believed, we wasted A LOT!
    Today my outstanding mortgage is £83,478.58. By 31 Dec, based on just making standard payments, this will be £78,900. My target is for this to be £75,000.
    Today my available off set pot is £3,415.43. By 31 Dec, Iíd like this to be at £5,500.
    The truth is Iíd like the first figure to be a lot lower and the second to be a lot higher but I need to start somewhere.
    We still have our emergency fund intact and hopefully enough in the current account to address our living expenses shortfall at least to the year end. Spends for the holiday are ringfenced with any left overs going on extras for all.
    I have to confess to having what Iíve heard described as an internal Verucca Salt! When I want it, I want it now. I need to learn some restraint both in terms of shopping and also sugar consumption. Itís weird but one thing |I really struggle with is what to have for lunch.
    Anyhow, now that the car is here, Iím off to the dry cleaners and to pick up some groceries as I have a £5 voucher off a £25 shop. I may also buy a new toilet brush!
    Today I am grateful for
    The support I have consistently received from here

    Company from the dog

    E Mail
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £74,121.52, target £65,000 by 31/12/18 Offset fund today £307.27 target £5,500 by 31/12/18
    Emergency fund £860/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 8 July 14st 4lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
Page 43
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 5th Jul 18, 9:24 AM
    • 5,258 Posts
    • 30,884 Thanks
    in need of direction
    My post was interrupted by a call from DS. I'm sure if you google images for first world problems, a picture of him would appear. He is having problems with his motorbike insurance problems as they are refusing to recognise his previous no claims discounts. Of course he now has less than a week to get this sorted as he was in France for a wedding at the weekend. And he is busy at work, has a course assignment to submit, etc., etc. the big plus is his ability to laugh at himself.
    Anyhow, yesterday I went to a few shops as there was one item I needed. I bought other items inc resolva weed killer that was in Asda at 74p for a litre in their discontinued section so 3 were bought. Various other items were also acquired inc a whoopsied choc fesh cream Cadbury cake.
    We did the call, it went ok. We know have an idea of what's needed and think its doable. It'll seriously help with cash flow. We had to buy a phone from Argos yesterday as none of our existing ones bar mobiles had a speaker option. The business account was used as it was needed for business. It's a nice red phone. DH also got a few sb as there were no cash back offers on. I'm now 85% of the way towards another sb voucher. Fingers crossed that i will get there by the weekend. Hopefully there'll be a bit of a bonus from last month's activity though I'm not sure how that'll work.

    On other news, I got a definitive answer yesterday on a possible health condition and it's all good. Whatever's going on with me at present, it's not that scenario. Just need to figure out what it might be. I'm convinced that if men went through menopause, the retirement age would be a lot lower.

    One of my sisters has irritated me. DD earmarked a number of items to be disposed of some of which I thought May appeal to her. I told her this 2 weeks ago and she was to call up. I'm still waiting but not for much longer. I want this stuff gone. She's not so busy that she couldn't make the effort.

    Today I have work to get through but am disinclined to get started. I first want to give me kitchen a good scrub. I think it's too easy for things to go bad in this heat. First though, I will have to dislodge the dog's head from the top of my foot.
    Today I am grateful for
    The resolution of a health concern
    Being able to help DS
    Getting a piece of work to the next stage.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £74,121.52, target £65,000 by 31/12/18 Offset fund today £307.27 target £5,500 by 31/12/18
    Emergency fund £860/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 8 July 14st 4lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 5th Jul 18, 10:23 AM
    • 1,946 Posts
    • 11,026 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    I think I pay over the odds for my dentist because the treatment there has been exceptional but he seems to add in a clean and polish even though there was almost no cleaning needed last time - but am I brave enough to ask him not to do it next time around?
    MFW #30 Paid off £2,481.24/£3770 as of 4/8/18
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 6th Jul 18, 7:44 AM
    • 5,258 Posts
    • 30,884 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Today I am under time pressure. A client has booked me to deliver training starting at 8.30 for staff who finish at lunchtime today and are off next week. Keeping the audience's attention may be a struggle. Got a few bits and pieces cleared yesterday. Also, after my whinging, my sister came up and departed with 3 bags full of stuff with the remainder to go to the chazza. There was a dodgy moment were she nearly saw something that she'd gifted me that is included in the stuff to go. I don't use it but someone else might. I still feel a bit bad.
    Anyhow today I am grateful for
    Slightly cooler weather
    Being able to afford dS's birthday present
    Clutter decreasing even by a small amount
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £74,121.52, target £65,000 by 31/12/18 Offset fund today £307.27 target £5,500 by 31/12/18
    Emergency fund £860/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 8 July 14st 4lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 7th Jul 18, 10:12 AM
    • 5,258 Posts
    • 30,884 Thanks
    in need of direction
    For some reason, our four legged alarm clock gave us a lie in so a later start to the day. Breakfast of potato bread is currently underway. This was on offer yesterday when I popped in to grab some milk and bread but emerged £8 down. My grocery bill for the last 2 weeks has gone out of control and we are playing freezer Tetris.
    Yesterday evening, I tackled a problem spot in the bedroom from which my sister had removed an item. I now have floor and am pathetically grateful for this. Today I want to get a handle on and list my work to dos. I am also reclaiming my living room from the state of chaos to which it has progressed incrementally. I may also buy a new novelty doormat. It costs £7 and £co is offering a £2.50 bonus on spends over a £5. I'll maybe have a rummage and see what change is available to bank.
    Today I am grateful for
    The good weather meaning the usual weekend mountain of laundry does not exist
    DH currently making breakfast
    The gift of a later start from the smiling dog.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £74,121.52, target £65,000 by 31/12/18 Offset fund today £307.27 target £5,500 by 31/12/18
    Emergency fund £860/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 8 July 14st 4lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 8th Jul 18, 9:50 AM
    • 5,258 Posts
    • 30,884 Thanks
    in need of direction
    The dog reverted to type this morning and had me up bright and early. Still I got the kitchen cleared up while chucking a ball out from time to time. I also got some prep done for a site visit in Dublin tomorrow. I am going to do some work work this morning to try and get a head start on the week. I am also going to parcel up dS's birthday gift (money has already been transferred) to go in the post tomorrow. Apart from that, just general bits and pieces to try to halt the progression of the house to a tip like status. Yesterday I got 3 bags to the charity shop. Items that will never reappear here which is all to the good. I also got rid of some sauces and dressings that were bbe 2016 or thereabouts. I'm just curious but what do people do with empty watch boxes and jewellery boxes when their contents are stored elsewhere?
    Today I am grateful for
    Bacon and mushroom sarnies
    Access to drugs via the NHS that make life easier
    The community here with whom I can share more than I can in real life
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £74,121.52, target £65,000 by 31/12/18 Offset fund today £307.27 target £5,500 by 31/12/18
    Emergency fund £860/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 8 July 14st 4lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 8th Jul 18, 2:19 PM
    • 2,122 Posts
    • 13,160 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    All sounding organised for the coming week inod.

    Re the empty boxes, have you tried looking at eBay to see if you can get rid of them there? I know empty perfume bottles were selling at one stage.
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 19/09/2018: £1168.59
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 32!
    My diary: ďPaid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!Ē
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 8th Jul 18, 7:59 PM
    • 3,294 Posts
    • 17,709 Thanks
    doingitanyway
    3 bags out of the house to the CS is great.
    Glad the dog is back to form
    Emergency fund 500/1000
    If not now then when?
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 9th Jul 18, 7:37 AM
    • 5,258 Posts
    • 30,884 Thanks
    in need of direction
    So, yesterday was a bit of a write off but 7 items went on the bay! 2 are quite niche and expensive so will be a bit of a longshot if they go. Others will be given away if the don't sell. Today I need to get my !!! into gear but it isn't happening. I'm tired. Partly due to disturbed too warm nights and partly because I seem to have given up on nutrition and exercise. This needs to be addressed.
    Stil no word back from the poorly paying job so a line needs to be drawn. I am continuing to tidy things up but by Wednesday will need some decisions on how other matters will be addressed if I have no more involvement. While cutting ties is no bad thing, I'm annoyed at how this is ending.

    Anyhow, today I need full work clothes which includes leg covering. Yuck!
    Right, need to jump in the shower. Today I am grateful for
    A slightly cooler start to the day
    Some resolutions
    A chat with DS
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £74,121.52, target £65,000 by 31/12/18 Offset fund today £307.27 target £5,500 by 31/12/18
    Emergency fund £860/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 8 July 14st 4lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • jwil
    • By jwil 9th Jul 18, 2:01 PM
    • 8,976 Posts
    • 28,325 Thanks
    jwil
    Well done on the listings!

    I get rid of old boxes if I don't use them for storage. I kept my wedding/engagement ring boxes, but then thought 'why?' they are always on my finger. I don't need the boxes any more.
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 10th Jul 18, 8:23 AM
    • 5,258 Posts
    • 30,884 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Well that was a weird night. I woke feeling that I was going to be sick. Was afraid that if I went back to sleep, I may have ended up choking so waited about an hour and a half. I am tired and a bit headachey. My tummy has however settled though I've only had a cuppa.

    Went to Dublin yesterday and stopped off at a former client for lunch. She had just had a win betting on euro millions so treated me. I then dropped off a letter of condolence and hot footed it back north. I could have visited aldi, etc. but wasn't convinced of what we needed so was restrained. Work meeting went well with realistic checkpoints agreed.

    Heard from the nightmare client. They appear to be following my recommended course of action without thinking to tell me that that was what they are doing. Will maybe call in with them today as I will be in the area. I need to visit dh's fav bakery as they close tomorrow for 4 weeks so I need to stock up on the mini pies that he loves and the 6 for £1 bridge rolls that I think are amazing.
    DD is due home today via an 18 hr stopover in Iceland followed by a coach trip from Dublin. Won't she be a happy bunny! The dog however will be delighted.
    Today I am grateful for
    Bids on 2 eBay items. Things that will depart from this house once and for all
    DH getting DS's birthday parcel that includes Percy pigs and gingers of fudge into the post
    A catch up over a free to me lunch with a lovely friend
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £74,121.52, target £65,000 by 31/12/18 Offset fund today £307.27 target £5,500 by 31/12/18
    Emergency fund £860/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 8 July 14st 4lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 10th Jul 18, 10:22 AM
    • 56,788 Posts
    • 230,994 Thanks
    beanielou
    Hope that today goes well.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 11th Jul 18, 7:59 AM
    • 5,258 Posts
    • 30,884 Thanks
    in need of direction
    DD is home, until Saturday when she heads off to start her masters with a 5 week block of uni attendance. The dog was delighted to see her. I'm gonna have to get used to a doggy shaped hole in my life as on fir she goes off for her summer holidays for the same 5 weeks. Still, it's better for her.

    I went to the nightmare client, then went back to attend a board meeting last night. Didn't get home until close to ten. I am tired. I am going back there today as, apart from anything else, I'm meeting a former colleague for lunch and I can park for free at the client. We have had rain overnight. Fingers crossed for some cooler weather. I'm fed up feeling hot and sticky. Tomorrow and Friday are bank holidays here so DH will be working for me. We have totally differing styles but it generally makes for a good product.

    Today is DS's birthday. What age do they have to be before you no longer mind that you aren't getting to see them on their birthday?

    Today I am grateful for
    Having at least one chicken safely home
    Other people seeing value in what I do
    A fairly good night's sleep
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £74,121.52, target £65,000 by 31/12/18 Offset fund today £307.27 target £5,500 by 31/12/18
    Emergency fund £860/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 8 July 14st 4lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 11th Jul 18, 10:20 AM
    • 1,946 Posts
    • 11,026 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    The whole not-seeing-them-on-their-birthdays thing is difficult. DD has been away for quite a few birthdays now and other people are often away for DS2's birthday... not sure we ever really get used to it...

    It will be good for you to catch up a bit with your DD. Visits home seem brief when you're the parent, don't they! I always resolved I wouldn't load guilt on mine when I didn't see them much, but it's hard not to. Perhaps you need a dog of your own at some point?

    Enjoy the lunch.
    MFW #30 Paid off £2,481.24/£3770 as of 4/8/18
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 11th Jul 18, 10:21 AM
    • 1,946 Posts
    • 11,026 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    P.S. That reads exactly as if 'DD' is 'Dear Dog'. Not what I meant
    MFW #30 Paid off £2,481.24/£3770 as of 4/8/18
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 11th Jul 18, 8:16 PM
    • 56,788 Posts
    • 230,994 Thanks
    beanielou
    I dont think you ever get used to not seeing your offspring on their birthdays
    I too try to not guilt trip my DS as I know he is busy~~working part time and Masters.
    But i do so miss him
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 11th Jul 18, 8:18 PM
    • 56,788 Posts
    • 230,994 Thanks
    beanielou
    Maybe this is why I have two new cats
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. MFW 2018. No 144
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 11th Jul 18, 9:11 PM
    • 4,861 Posts
    • 34,320 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Well done on the listings!

    I get rid of old boxes if I don't use them for storage. I kept my wedding/engagement ring boxes, but then thought 'why?' they are always on my finger. I don't need the boxes any more.
    Originally posted by jwil
    I throw them away too. What use are they? Use it or lose it is my motto.


    Today is DS's birthday. What age do they have to be before you no longer mind that you aren't getting to see them on their birthday?
    Originally posted by in need of direction
    I think I'm going to find that hard
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 12th Jul 18, 10:02 AM
    • 5,258 Posts
    • 30,884 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Why do I torture myself about a brat? He asked his sister to let me know he said thanks for his parcel. I didn't even get a text! Ingrate. Still, at least I know he isn't pining.

    Yesterday was a fairly nothing day. I did nip to a$da for a few items and encountered lots of whoopsied items, some with 3 days on the date. This evening will be more freezer Tetris. Today i am going to the nightmare client for a few hours. I also have other work stuff to get sorted.

    Today I am grateful for
    Toasted fruit soda for breakfast
    A bid on one more item. Now 3 will definitely go
    A cooler night giving better sleep
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £74,121.52, target £65,000 by 31/12/18 Offset fund today £307.27 target £5,500 by 31/12/18
    Emergency fund £860/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 8 July 14st 4lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 13th Jul 18, 6:53 AM
    • 5,258 Posts
    • 30,884 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Today I am so sad. This is the last day that the dog will be living with us and tomorrow is dd's turn to depart. While they have a track record of coming and going, dd's commitment to her masters and work placement means that they can only be visitors over the next 2 years and who knows what will happen beyond that. They will be back for 2 weeks later this summer but it's not the same as living here. I feel very lonely and very scared.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £74,121.52, target £65,000 by 31/12/18 Offset fund today £307.27 target £5,500 by 31/12/18
    Emergency fund £860/5.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Weight 8 July 14st 4lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 13th Jul 18, 12:15 PM
    • 1,946 Posts
    • 11,026 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    Sending huge hugs xx
    MFW #30 Paid off £2,481.24/£3770 as of 4/8/18
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