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  • FIRST POST
    • Runningfast
    • By Runningfast 29th Jan 17, 9:40 PM
    • 138Posts
    • 78Thanks
    Runningfast
    Working away from home
    • #1
    • 29th Jan 17, 9:40 PM
    Working away from home 29th Jan 17 at 9:40 PM
    I'm in a position in work that after several pay cuts after bills and general living expenses I don't have much for enjoying life or saving. It is getting me down!!

    I have been looking for new jobs now for about 18months but there is nothing in my sector in my local area on my original salary or above. In the wider area there are jobs paying more and I have been applying for them.

    Now this is the crux, after I factor in the extra deductions (increase in tax, student loan etc) using the pay calculator on this site I end up about 200 per month above what I earn now. Great, the whole point of getting a new job on more pay is to improve your life!! - Not so, The issue is to get to these jobs in the wider area I will need a train season ticket which costs over 200 per month!!! So infact I would be worse off financially.

    I have come to the realisation that I need to move from my current area but my partner wants us to remain in this area (friends and family etc)

    How did people find a compromise?

    All I know is I can't continue where I am and in the financial position I am in.

    Just looking to hear what solutions other people have come up with.
    Last edited by Runningfast; 29-01-2017 at 9:42 PM.
Page 2
    • Jackieboy
    • By Jackieboy 30th Jan 17, 3:21 PM
    • 910 Posts
    • 1,560 Thanks
    Jackieboy
    Approximately 55 miles each way (Driving)

    The season ticket is 3164 (263 per month)
    Originally posted by Runningfast
    Thank you.

    Surely the compromise is just to live roughly half way between where you and your partner work?
    • Judi
    • By Judi 30th Jan 17, 3:24 PM
    • 16,380 Posts
    • 72,124 Thanks
    Judi

    Weekend spent catching up on jobs around the house.
    Originally posted by sheramber
    Or not because after a hard week at work and a long drive home, your too knackered to do anything in the house.

    From experience children resent you coming home at weekends and 'bossing' them around or upsetting the routine they have with mum during the week.
    Or in my experience the wife resents you coming home at weekends and bossing her around and upsetting the routine she had in the house and with the kids.

    I should imagine it wouldnt be hard to become a stranger in your own house.
    'Holy crap on a cracker!'
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 30th Jan 17, 4:08 PM
    • 16,810 Posts
    • 41,500 Thanks
    FBaby
    Difficult situation. How many children in the household and how old are they? The point about the child having access to their father so that they can continue to have regular input in their lives is an important one.

    At the same time, it sounds like your issue is not just so much about the household income but your frustrations in your current position. I think it is important to be clear which one is more important to you because if what is causing you most to want to change is your dissatisfaction with your job/career, saying that you need to move as a family for money might end up causing confusion and frustration.

    Is it a case of balancing your happiness vs the happiness of your family?
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 30th Jan 17, 6:01 PM
    • 1,859 Posts
    • 2,030 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    If working away for a bit gives you the skills and experience to then come home and command a better salary, it could be worth the sacrifice. Don't forget living costs though. My husband worked away during the week for 2 years and during that time we struggled financially as we had a mortgage on the family home and his rent on a room. However when he left that job he got a new one that paid 13k more as a result of his new experience and qualifications.
    If you do it only to return to the same issue don't bother. Can you cut your expenses any? Could you retrain in something else?
    To sum up, its worth it if you have an end goal and a time limit and you and your partner agree on the arrangement and trust each other.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 30th Jan 17, 6:08 PM
    • 20,198 Posts
    • 33,469 Thanks
    Spendless
    That does go through my mind about how it will impact the relationship, though me being away would benefit us financially. Currently my salary is maxed at 23.5k (all in) I was made redundant a few years ago and just took any job in my sector as I had bills to pay . I have also suffered a pay cut in my current role hence why I am now capped at 23.5K salary. I currently work a position way below my experience and qualification level. I think my partners job (nurse) is more transferrable than mine.

    One of the possibilities i have at the moment is working abroad but think that might be pushing it with my partner.
    Originally posted by Runningfast
    Re this. Does she currently work shifts and you look after child whilst she works?

    If so, this may need taking into account as childcare for shift workers can be difficult to find.
    • Judi
    • By Judi 30th Jan 17, 9:29 PM
    • 16,380 Posts
    • 72,124 Thanks
    Judi
    The woman makes a lot of sense.
    'Holy crap on a cracker!'
    • keepcalmandstayoutofdebt
    • By keepcalmandstayoutofdebt 30th Jan 17, 9:46 PM
    • 3,283 Posts
    • 1,710 Thanks
    keepcalmandstayoutofdebt

    Just looking to hear what solutions other people have come up with.
    Originally posted by Runningfast
    Look for logic little things and hold out. As I really don't think the job market is that great right now.

    I was horrified when in my new yet recent surrendered job of 14.5k going from bad to worse I realised I was only 24 minutes on good day to M25 (which went some way in making me see sense) 4 years ago I travelled further then this for much more money so don't know how I was so stupid - guess you can very easily lose sight in desperation so don't let it be you, cherish the life you have now.
    "If you are caught in a rainstorm, once you accept that you'll receive a soaking, the only thing left to do is enjoy the walk"
    • Dird
    • By Dird 31st Jan 17, 12:24 AM
    • 2,617 Posts
    • 1,561 Thanks
    Dird
    Everyone is talking about working away but OP never said that? I took "I have come to the realisation that I need to move" as meaning the family move. It'd make no sense at all to pay 2 lots of rent/mortgage.

    All you can do is hope a better paying job appears within a 40 mile radius of your house. Is your partner working? If not that can be an easy way to boost income & make use of that family network she doesn't want to leave
    Mortgage (Nov 15): 79,950 | Cashback sites: 900 | Current accounts: 16
    Mortgage (Sep 17): 75,229 | 30k in 2016: 30,300 (101%) | 25k in 2017: 16,996 (67.9%)
    • PeacefulWaters
    • By PeacefulWaters 31st Jan 17, 4:05 AM
    • 8,318 Posts
    • 10,664 Thanks
    PeacefulWaters
    Moving for 200pcm v cost of moving and peeing the wife off? That's a no from me.

    Moving further afield for significantly more will usually bring significantly higher housing costs and will also pee the wife off.

    Good luck.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 31st Jan 17, 6:57 AM
    • 20,198 Posts
    • 33,469 Thanks
    Spendless
    Everyone is talking about working away but OP never said that? I took "I have come to the realisation that I need to move" as meaning the family move. It'd make no sense at all to pay 2 lots of rent/mortgage.

    All you can do is hope a better paying job appears within a 40 mile radius of your house. Is your partner working? If not that can be an easy way to boost income & make use of that family network she doesn't want to leave
    Originally posted by Dird
    What the OP has said is

    I have come to the realisation that I need to move from my current area but my partner wants us to remain in this area (friends and family etc)

    How did people find a compromise?

    All I know is I can't continue where I am and in the financial position I am in.

    Just looking to hear what solutions other people have come up with.
    Originally posted by Runningfast
    My partner has a child from a previous relationship. She is reluctant to pull the child away from his family and friend network.
    Originally posted by Runningfast
    Partner doesn't want to move as she doesn't want to move child away . Partner works as a Nurse.
    • martinthebandit
    • By martinthebandit 31st Jan 17, 7:03 AM
    • 3,534 Posts
    • 6,066 Thanks
    martinthebandit
    Logically if you cannot increase your income then the only other option is to decrease your outgoings.
    Politics -
    from the words Poli, meaning many
    and tics meaning blood sucking parasites


    (thanks to Kinky Friedman (or Larry Hardman) for the quote}
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 31st Jan 17, 7:07 AM
    • 20,329 Posts
    • 54,582 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Everyone is talking about working away but OP never said that? I took "I have come to the realisation that I need to move" as meaning the family move. It'd make no sense at all to pay 2 lots of rent/mortgage.
    Originally posted by Dird
    The OP said in post #4:

    That does go through my mind about how it will impact the relationship, though me being away would benefit us financially. Currently my salary is maxed at 23.5k (all in) I was made redundant a few years ago and just took any job in my sector as I had bills to pay . I have also suffered a pay cut in my current role hence why I am now capped at 23.5K salary. I currently work a position way below my experience and qualification level. I think my partners job (nurse) is more transferrable than mine.
    Originally posted by Runningfast
    so he is talking of working away, hence posters picking up on that and commenting.

    I think FBaby has it correct here:
    Difficult situation. How many children in the household and how old are they? The point about the child having access to their father so that they can continue to have regular input in their lives is an important one.
    Originally posted by FBaby
    The OP's partner seems clear that she doesn't want to move and it may cause issues with her ex if she does.

    There's not just the OP to consider here.
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 31st Jan 17, 1:09 PM
    • 4,833 Posts
    • 3,618 Thanks
    sheramber
    Everyone is talking about working away but OP never said that? I took "I have come to the realisation that I need to move" as meaning the family move. It'd make no sense at all to pay 2 lots of rent/mortgage.

    All you can do is hope a better paying job appears within a 40 mile radius of your house. Is your partner working? If not that can be an easy way to boost income & make use of that family network she doesn't want to leave
    Originally posted by Dird

    SEE POST 10

    am looking for a compromise, which may include me working away during the week and coming home at weekends etc.
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 31st Jan 17, 1:48 PM
    • 6,623 Posts
    • 8,613 Thanks
    TBagpuss
    Is there any way that your partner could increase her income?
    Woul theer be other options which didn't involve the whole family moving, or you spending a lot of money n cimmunting? For instnace, is your job one which could be done remotely? If so, might it be possibe to find a job at a distance from your home but negotiate to work from home part of the time, or to work fxi hours so you could (for instance) travel outside rush horus or work longer hours some days and 'bank' time so you could (for instance) work a 9 day fortnight to reduncc etravelling?

    Would it be possible to move a shorter distance so that a commute became managable and you were not completely out of your current area and support groups?

    You mention that your current employer is dropping jobs - do you feel that they are going under, or is it more about restructuring and becoming more efficiant? Have you appraoched them about a pay increase,citing the fact that they are paying below the going rate?
    If you were to have that conversation with them, and they won't /can't increase your pay, could you consider with them keping the same salary but going part time, and prehaps getting a second part time job? Even if it was only one day a week it might give you a bit extra household income (or alternatively, and depending on whether your wife works full time, you could look to reduce your hours and do more childcare and household work and for her to increase her hours, if that would result in a higher houseold income.

    Another option might be to see whether, as a family, you can improve your finacial position y making savings or using your money more eficently, so that instead of getting by, you make savigns which you can use to improve your quality of life. Looking at the debt free board might help you: if ou are willing to post a statement of affairs setting out your curent income and outgoigns I'm sure you'd fine people willing to offer suggestions of how you might be able to make savings to free up some of your income.
    • mai_taylor
    • By mai_taylor 31st Jan 17, 1:48 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 382 Thanks
    mai_taylor
    My husband has worked away in the week and is considering doing it again. Personally I'm find with it, we hardly spend any time together in the week anyway as we both work all day and by the time we've eaten and got things ready for work the next day it's time to go to sleep plus he goes to the gym a few nights. More money coming in then we get to spend the whole weekend together.

    However we don't have kids and he gets rent and food paid for when he's away so those are two factors that would make a big difference.
    • Runningfast
    • By Runningfast 31st Jan 17, 5:19 PM
    • 138 Posts
    • 78 Thanks
    Runningfast
    In reply to all, sorry not replied I have worked late last night and away for a few days with work later this week so need to get a few things sorted.

    There are some good points being made and definitely things I need to consider. I will aim to reply to the thread again soon.
    • Reckless Saving
    • By Reckless Saving 31st Jan 17, 11:55 PM
    • 41 Posts
    • 28 Thanks
    Reckless Saving
    10 years ago I was in a low paid job in which my company decided to relocate an hours commute away, I had the choice to leave, relocate or commute. In my area pay was and still is way below the national averages, there were next to zero jobs locally for my then skillset and when any came up the pay was low with no career path. I decided based on not knowing what to do and a job is better than no job to take the large costs hit in commuting daily to the new location.

    Back to today I still commute but have moved up/side ways & taken unexpected career ladder choices that I'm now paid well that my commute costs are no long having the dent they felt at the start and I have a skillset that other employers would pay a premium for if I wished or was forced to leave plus option of higher pay through contracting.

    I'm lucky I didn't have close family to consider in my choices but it's not as bad as others as I'm travelling back everyday plus do get flexible working from my employer when needed. The way I see it is that if I was still working locally I would be depressingly looking a well into mid 65s for retirement, at least I can shave many years of that by taking the risk all those years ago, plus more moneysaving and FIRE'ing.
    • maddisonzoexx
    • By maddisonzoexx 6th Jul 18, 12:22 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    maddisonzoexx
    My experience of working away from home
    I am currently working away from home in a rural area 250miles away from home, i am 16 years old and earning 230 a week. I find the experience extremely lonely and isolating along with i have led to eat very little because the staff eating quarters are very over crammed and in rather awful condition. I hate being away from my friends and family however i have been unable to find any other jobs and it is leading me feeling very depressed.
    • AndyPix
    • By AndyPix 6th Jul 18, 1:56 PM
    • 3,683 Posts
    • 2,932 Thanks
    AndyPix
    OP, why does it have to be a season ticket ?


    Why cant you get a 1litre banger and drive it ?
    My own commute is not far off the miles you state
    Running with scissors since 1978
    • Rubik
    • By Rubik 6th Jul 18, 2:33 PM
    • 114 Posts
    • 235 Thanks
    Rubik
    I am currently working away from home in a rural area 250miles away from home, i am 16 years old and earning 230 a week. I find the experience extremely lonely and isolating along with i have led to eat very little because the staff eating quarters are very over crammed and in rather awful condition. I hate being away from my friends and family however i have been unable to find any other jobs and it is leading me feeling very depressed.
    Originally posted by maddisonzoexx
    Maddison, this sounds a truly awful experience Can you return home to your parents, or is there someone else you could stay with? Is going home and going to college an option for you?
    It sounds as though you maybe being exploited -if you are on minimum wage of 4.20 and earning 230 pw, then that's an average working week of 54 hours. Are your employers approachable, could you ask them to smarten up the staff quarters? Could you eat outside while the weather is decent?

    if you are beginning to feel depressed, then you need to have a talk with your GP before it spirals out of control.

    I really feel for you, and hope things improve soon.,
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