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  • FIRST POST
    • ch4rly2002
    • By ch4rly2002 19th Jan 17, 2:37 PM
    • 437Posts
    • 1,696Thanks
    ch4rly2002
    Dreaming of financial freedom!
    • #1
    • 19th Jan 17, 2:37 PM
    Dreaming of financial freedom! 19th Jan 17 at 2:37 PM
    Hi everyone reading this!

    I hadn't thought about writing my own MFW diary until another user suggested it, so I have no idea if anyone will be interested in what I have to say, but I'll just post it and you can ignore if it's rubbish So here's my story...

    I turn 30 next month and I would like to be mortgage free as soon as possible. My husband and I work in IT and, at least in my company, it seems to be that most jobs are being moved abroad. My dad also worked in IT was made redundant at 53 before my parents had finished their mortgage so I think that is why I am so anxious about having mortgage debt and would like to pay it off ASAP.

    We bought our first house in 2006 and sold it three years later in the middle of the recession for a loss of 6k, which wasn't ideal but it allowed us to purchase a house we couldn't have otherwise afforded as the vendors needed a quick sale so were prepared to drop their price. We moved in to the new house at the back end of 2009 and didn't need to do anything to it, which is a good job as we didn't have any spare money at the time! After a few years I got a job that paid well and we started overpaying on the mortgage, which we decided to do rather than save up as we would get a nice lump sum if we were made redundant. I loved seeing the mortgage go down!

    In 2011 my dad was diagnosed with a progressive neurodegenerative illness, which means his brain is slowly dying and was given a life expectancy of approximately 7 years, although it differs for everyone. My parents decided to make the most of their time together and bought a static caravan by a lake, which they lived in happily for a couple of years before my dad started having too many falls to continue living there and they moved into an independent living unit near Holmfirth, which isn't too far from where my in-laws live so it made visiting them all on our weekends up from Nottingham so much easier! By 2014 my dad had deteriorated quite a bit and my husband and I discussed leaving Nottingham so we could live closer to our parents in Yorkshire. At this point, the house was valued at 170,000 and the mortgage was at 108,000. Had we stayed and continued paying the same amount each month we would be mortgage free by 2021 but if we moved we would either have to rent (which we both saw as dead money) or buy another place that would be more expensive for a comparable house so it was a difficult decision. Around the same time my father-in-law got cancer, so we decided that moving up would be the best option. The only problem was that my dad was deteriorating rapidly and it takes ages for houses in our area to sell so we'd miss the last bit of time with my dad in a reasonable condition and could miss being there for the in-laws when they needed us through the cancer treatment process. At this point, I suggested we rent out our house and buy another house closer to our parents. I first spoke to my mortgage provider and asked if there was a way to release equity from our house and move it onto a buy-to-let mortgage then purchase another property. Unfortunately they wouldn't allow us to do this, but luckily MSE sings the praises of London and Country mortgage brokers and as they don't charge a fee I thought it would be worth giving them a call. I am so glad I did! My advisor Adam found me a new residential mortgage and let-to-buy mortgage (which is apparently very similar to a buy-to-let mortgage but it is when you already owned the property when you decided to rent it out) so we could use equity from our house. A couple of months later we moved into our new house and our old house was rented out shortly after.

    After 2 years, our fixed deals have just come to an end and this is where we now stand...

    Residential mortgage:
    Started at 216,000 on 3.29% with no OPs allowed.
    From January 4th, the property has 80% LTV and is on 1.99% for 3 years with 10% OP allowed. Started at 204,000 but as I had to guess what amount I would need when I first applied 3 months ago, we were refunded 1,404 so the mortgage now stands at 202,596. The standard mortgage payment 916 but I set the DD up at 1,100 as that's what we paid before so there is an overpayment there without any hardship. I can't wait to see this go under 200k, and then I will set 10k goals.

    Buy-to-Let mortgage:
    Started at 136,000 on 4.79%, and we started making overpayments of 250pm.
    From February the property will have a 73% LTV and will be on 2.64% for 2 years. Again, we applied for this mortgage 3 months ago and I guessed 129,000 but when I checked yesterday it stood at 127,895 so we will be due some money back and will pay that off the mortgage straight away.The standard DD is 638 but I am considering whether to leave the payments at 1,000 as they previously were.

    The only fly in the ointment now is that our jobs aren't as secure as they used to be, and there are rumours of redundancy packages being dropped to statutory rates, which I understand isn't very much. This has made me think that we ought to have some savings in case one or both of us gets made redundant. We have 1500 in premium bonds saved up for house repairs but that wasn't much of a safety net. Luckily, we have just received a cheque for 4,900 from my husband's stock that he just sold so for the first time ever we finally have some security. We would have previously put it straight on the mortgage but with the current uncertainty around jobs it is nice to have a bit of a safety net. The timing couldn't be better!

    I'll be honest. I'm rubbish with budgets. I don't know how much we spend and I know I could be a lot more careful with my spending. We do have takeaways and eat out quite a bit, mainly because we both work long hours and very tired on an evening and don't want to then spend a big chunk of our evenings cooking. If I'm even more honest, part of it is laziness However, I want to change that as I'm sure we could save some real money and be healthier if we cook more so I'm thinking maybe meal plans, online shopping so I don't get tempted by add on products and don't have to give up a load of time to go to the supermarket, and maybe the odd ready meal in place of a takeaway when we're feeling tired / lazy. I am also going to have a look into slow cooker recipes that I could put on in a morning so it's ready for us as soon as we finish working.

    My goal is to start logging what we spend and make a proper budget!

    Some (limited) financial info:
    Husband earns around 3,000 net each month.
    I earn around 1,700 net each month.
    Rental income, after expenses, is 678 per month.

    Mortgage 1 1,100
    Mortgage 2 322 (1,000 payment minus 678 rent, assuming we keep the payment the same)
    Car loan 500 (ends in October 2017)
    Loan to In-Laws 250 (not accruing any interest)
    Water bill 26
    Council Tax 128
    Gas & Electric 94.14
    BG Home Care 29.50
    Mobile 1 13
    Mobile 2 20
    Sky TV, internet and phone 70.93 (up for renewal tomorrow so will haggle or switch to Virgin)
    Car insurance 632 in 2016 (paid in a lump sum in April)
    Home insurance 491 in 2016 (paid in a lump sum in December)
    Pet insurance 69.61 in 2016 (paid in a lump sum in November)
    Landlord insurance 219.21 in 2017 (paid in a lump sum in January)
    Rent Guarantee and Legal insurance 125 in 2017 (paid in a lump sum in January)
    Gas Safety Certificate 60 (annual, paid in February)

    Unsure on food and entertainment costs (really need to get a grip on this) but after paying our credit cards we end up with between 500 and 1500 left at the end of the month, which we have recently been spending on home improvements, insurance, Christmas etc. so we haven't saved much of this. We are also thinking about joining a gym so that might also be another expense in future. If I think of any other expenses I will add them but I think that's pretty much it for now.

    I will try and update this as and when I get more information or manage to make savings / OPs. Thanks for reading!
    Last edited by ch4rly2002; 20-01-2017 at 10:44 AM. Reason: Forgot to include the current mortgage values.
Page 26
    • ch4rly2002
    • By ch4rly2002 14th Jan 20, 10:30 AM
    • 437 Posts
    • 1,696 Thanks
    ch4rly2002
    MV, thank you Mum has been given some tablets to try and ease the symptoms and see if things improve. If not, further investigations will be needed. I'm enjoying catching up with your diary

    MFD, thank you for the lovely comments It's nice to hear people are reading. I sometimes wonder if people have disappeared because I stopped writing for a while, so thanks for bearing with me and continuing to read

    DH and I had a lovely weekend. We went up to Yorkshire for our 'Christmas' meal that we agreed to do with the in-laws rather than spending a fortune on gifts that is really just 'stuff' that people don't need. We meant to do the same last year but we had said we would do a night away and couldn't seem to make the timing work so we made sure it happened this year! We went to the Box Tree restaurant in Ilkley, and it was lovely. It was very pricey at 125 per person for the meal, drinks and tip - far more than we would normally want to pay - but as it was for a special occasion and the FIL has been waiting 40 years to go (lots of missed opportunities to go with colleagues and clients, and giving away vouchers the in-laws were meant to use, so it means it hasn't happened in 40 years!), it was definitely worth it! I was kind of wondering if it might be cheaper than last time we went as they've lost their Michelin star, but sadly not. The staff were fantastic, and very knowledgeable and talkative, and the food was very rich so even though the portions weren't massive, we left feeling stuffed! They even had Chanel number 5 perfume in the women's toilet, so I had to have a bit of a spray before we left

    On Sunday we went to visit my Grandma. She's been struggling with her hearing we she'd requested a sound bar that DH and BIL fitted for her. It worked well for a bit but then she's been having difficulties with it recently (her eye sight is going and we suspect she's pressing different buttons on the sound bar remote to what she thinks she's pressing). She asked if we could remove it, so we have and she is happy just using her TV speakers now.

    When we were in the car between home and Yorkshire I was looking at the Lonely Planet New York guide to get some ideas for our trip to NY in Feb. It cost me 9.99 on Am, but would have been something like 13.99 in WH Smiths so I feel like it was a little bit MS by not getting it in the shop, but I was still hesitant to buy it at all - but it is great and comes with pull out maps etc. There was a section on what to do in each month this year and it just so happens that the first half of our trip is during 'Broadway week' and 'Restaurant week' (even though it actually lasts for 2 weeks). turns out that as the first half of our trip overlaps with the offer weeks, there are BOGOF offers on Broadway tickets and cut price meals in restaurants! So, that 9.99 book saved us 150 on Broadway tickets to see Wicked We can't go to NY and not watch a show on Broadway, but thankfully paying half price makes it even better! Next job is to look into the restaurant week and see if I can get us a discounted meal for our anniversary.

    I have to get our tax return done this week as the last month of renting out the old house, and the sale of the property, were both in April so have meant a final tax return. The deadline in the end of the month so that's a job for this evening. I'm hoping we don't end up having to pay CG tax. It depends if it's calculated on the price we paid for the house or the valuation when we started renting it out. Fingers crossed!
    Mortgage: Mar 2018 -300,000 / Jan 2019 -279,550 (LTV 74.54%)
    Student Loan: March 2011 -18,275.04 / December 2019 -12,246.78
    Joint Savings: Aim 13.5k. Dec 2016 1,700 / Jan 2019 14,550
    Loan to In-Laws: Sep 2010 -48,185.82 / Apr 2019 0
    Car Loan: Sep 2018 -16,265 / Apr 2019 0
    Credit Card 0%: Nov 2016 -4,500 / Apr 2019 0
    • themadvix
    • By themadvix 15th Jan 20, 6:30 AM
    • 2,693 Posts
    • 14,755 Thanks
    themadvix
    I’m still here and reading... but usually on my phone first thing before my brain has started working!!

    Meal sounds amazing and great news about NY bargains!
    • ch4rly2002
    • By ch4rly2002 15th Jan 20, 11:19 AM
    • 437 Posts
    • 1,696 Thanks
    ch4rly2002
    That's good to hear I'm slowly catching up with your diary TMV, but I'm still on May 2018!

    Yesterday's food was pretty bargainous. Lunch was a lovely sandwich made from some YS tiger baguette (down to 21p and it was delicious! there's enough left over for DH and I to have sandwiches from it today) and dinner was a stroganoff made with some reduced ingredients too.

    Less than a week until payday. I am very excited as it's my first since I stopped working in September. When I see what I get paid, I am going to look at what's left and decide what to do with it. I need to top up my FD account as that feeds my FD regular saver. 300 goes into my RS each month and I had just enough savings in my FD current account to feed it up to December, but the balance is now a pitiful 17.70 - this payday is coming just in the nick of time! This year I would like to overpay on my student loan as the interest is only marginally smaller than the mortgage (SL is 1.75% and mortgage is 1.79%), so although Martin recommends paying off the larger interest rates first, it's so close that I might as well get the SL paid off before it increases and I can then use my monthly SL payment amount to OP the mortgage).

    Work is going well so far. Still some IT issues preventing me from being as useful as I could, but it's getting there. We just had the first team meeting of the year and there are 4 new people, including me, in the team. My manager asked us all to do a one page summary slide about us and talk through it on the call, and we all got a lovely warm welcome to the team. It's so important to feel connected to your team when you're a remote worker, so it was really nice. Such a huge change from when I used to work with the company and my manager is the complete polar opposite of my previous manager. I'm feeling very thankful for my manager and team today
    Mortgage: Mar 2018 -300,000 / Jan 2019 -279,550 (LTV 74.54%)
    Student Loan: March 2011 -18,275.04 / December 2019 -12,246.78
    Joint Savings: Aim 13.5k. Dec 2016 1,700 / Jan 2019 14,550
    Loan to In-Laws: Sep 2010 -48,185.82 / Apr 2019 0
    Car Loan: Sep 2018 -16,265 / Apr 2019 0
    Credit Card 0%: Nov 2016 -4,500 / Apr 2019 0
    • themadvix
    • By themadvix 16th Jan 20, 7:09 AM
    • 2,693 Posts
    • 14,755 Thanks
    themadvix
    New company sounds lovely, so glad it seems to be working out for you!
    • ch4rly2002
    • By ch4rly2002 16th Jan 20, 5:46 PM
    • 437 Posts
    • 1,696 Thanks
    ch4rly2002
    Well, another unproductive day at work filled with even more IT issues. Hopefully they will get sorted tomorrow so I can start pulling my weight! At least it gave me time to work through my on-boarding checklist and my colleagues are lovely about it. Thankfully, the lack of work meant I had time to pick mum up from work, and I know she appreciated it after a long day at work today and the miserable rain, so at least I'm finding some useful ways to use my time

    I got fed up of waiting for Prolific to get to 20, so 18.22 transferred into my FD account to contribute towards the next 300 RS payment. I was amazed that it was instant to withdraw (I'm used to TCB payment timescales!).

    Tonight's tea is leftover lasagne from New Year. Mum made loads and the kids weren't really hungry (we'd been for a walk to the local deer park and they'd been hungry and had snacks, which meant not much tea eaten). Mum froze it and tonight we have an easy tea

    Now I'm busy trying to source a free mouse mat for work. I was hoping there might be one on Freecycle or a company giving away branded freebies, but no such luck yet. I will keep an eye out
    Mortgage: Mar 2018 -300,000 / Jan 2019 -279,550 (LTV 74.54%)
    Student Loan: March 2011 -18,275.04 / December 2019 -12,246.78
    Joint Savings: Aim 13.5k. Dec 2016 1,700 / Jan 2019 14,550
    Loan to In-Laws: Sep 2010 -48,185.82 / Apr 2019 0
    Car Loan: Sep 2018 -16,265 / Apr 2019 0
    Credit Card 0%: Nov 2016 -4,500 / Apr 2019 0
    • ch4rly2002
    • By ch4rly2002 16th Jan 20, 10:21 PM
    • 437 Posts
    • 1,696 Thanks
    ch4rly2002
    Woohoo, Freecycle worked! Someone got rid of a mouse mat they didn't want anymore, and I got a freebie that a) helps stop waste, b) saves me money and c) is more environmentally friendly than purchasing a new one Happy days!
    Mortgage: Mar 2018 -300,000 / Jan 2019 -279,550 (LTV 74.54%)
    Student Loan: March 2011 -18,275.04 / December 2019 -12,246.78
    Joint Savings: Aim 13.5k. Dec 2016 1,700 / Jan 2019 14,550
    Loan to In-Laws: Sep 2010 -48,185.82 / Apr 2019 0
    Car Loan: Sep 2018 -16,265 / Apr 2019 0
    Credit Card 0%: Nov 2016 -4,500 / Apr 2019 0
    • themadvix
    • By themadvix 17th Jan 20, 7:38 AM
    • 2,693 Posts
    • 14,755 Thanks
    themadvix
    I love freecycle for all the reasons you gave! Result!
    • ch4rly2002
    • By ch4rly2002 17th Jan 20, 11:53 AM
    • 437 Posts
    • 1,696 Thanks
    ch4rly2002
    It's marvelous, isn't it TMV

    I've been working on my study as I want to try and create a minimal-clutter working area. Sadly, the study seems to be our go to dumping ground when people are visiting etc. as it is on the top floor and can't be seen, so it has become a bit of a room of shame. I'm making great progress, but it just takes so long when I'm trying to properly sort through things. I now have a tidy desk and thanks to BIL liberating one of the many unused monitor cables from his work, I now have a second monitor for my work PC. Couple that with last night's Freecycle mouse mat and I have a fully functional work space again now I still have a long way to go, but progress is progress! I now need to address the piles of old cards I have lying around. I am a bit too sentimental and I like to keep hold of birthday cards, Christmas cards etc. but it's just a case of storing them and trying to get them in some kind of order. It's especially nice to look back at cards from those no longer with us, so there are some key ones I want to keep, but I think there are some that should probably head to the recycling bin now. I am also assembling a pile of things to sell and things to donate. I have also moved a few things around. Thankfully we have a long desk that spans the length of the room so I had space to move my printer onto the end of the desk. I had it across the room, which I liked, but for the past couple of weeks I haven't been able to use my printer as it now refuses to connect to the internet. I am reluctant to buy a new one because of a) money, b) waste and c) sentimentality (I bought it when I started working from home when my Dad got ill and it's made by the company I worked for / am working for again). So, I had the idea to forget wi-fi and connect the printer directly into my PC as I checked last week and it still works, however as the cable I currently have is so short, I have to practically sit on top of the printer for it to reach. I've ordered a longer printer cable, that is far longer than I could possibly need, but as it was 5.19 for 16ft or 8.49 for 9ft, I went with the longer of the two. That should be delivered today and I can get my printer set up again. Next to my printer I will be placing a mini server. It was gifted to DH from one of the senior managers when a client cancelled their contract and all of their kit was written off. It's a good server and was FOC, so win-win. I will also hook that up to my PC and use it as backup storage in case I ever fall foul of ransomware or a PC breakdown. I have no idea how to make the server work as storage, but luckily my very tech savvy BIL (he's the IT Manager at his company) is coming to stay this weekend so he can help us set it up.

    Speaking of this weekend, and onto fun things, BIL and our board game obsessed friend are coming to stay this weekend, so that means lots of fun, possibly some drinking from the home-bar and a takeaway (not very MS, but we like to do takeaway on day of arrival due to friend driving from Sussex to Nottingham and not necessarily knowing arrival times, and the rest of the weekend will be home cooking). I'm looking forward to it - I normally end up with a mushed brain by the end after all the game playing, but it's always nice to catch up and we have a good laugh, so what more could I want?! We massively over catered on drinks for New Year, so we have plenty of drinks to work through as well.

    Still having IT issues, but I'm using my time wisely. This week I have managed to change the details on my workplace pension from before I left (they moved the pension from Zurich to Scottish Widows, but sent all the info to the old house, and I think it fell through the cracks a little. Thankfully we're still in touch with the people who bought our house and they saved the latest post, a pension statement). My email address and physical address are now up-to-date with them and I also got log in details so I can view the pension online. I also talked DH through the process so he could do the same. I rang the People's Pension and asked for transfer forms so I can move the measly amount I paid in during my time at the ill fated job into my new pension. Also, I was sent a link to sign up for Perks at Work, which is the company discount programme. I have registered and also sent invites to my friends so that they too can enjoy discounted bits

    Last night's tea of leftover lasagna was really nice, possibly even better than the first time round. We had it with a couple of slices of garlic bread and a side salad. Yum! Not really in-keeping with the new diet, but as it was leftovers, I decided the MS and lack of waste aspects took priority

    In other news, DH and I are busy planning a big trip to celebrate his birthday. We'll either do a road trip around Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and California in May/June or Canada in August. Canada was originally his preferred trip as we've never done Canada, but due to weather at the time of his birthday and conflicts in diary with the yank in-laws, we'd have to delay until August, which would overlap with 'always centre of attention' BIL's birthday and anniversary, and it wouldn't be so much about DH's birthday. Normally we don't mind letting yank BIL have all the attention, but just this once I want DH to have the limelight. We always have to sit and listen to how amazing YBIL's life is and all the amazing places their holidaying to, and do whatever they want to do (it started when he moved to the US, so his homecoming every Christmas made the whole festive period about him, then when he met his wife it became all about what she wanted to do, now it's all about them and the nephew, plus they have always had so much money they could go anywhere they want and do anything they want) but for the first time in our marriage, we finally have some spare cash and I want something DH really wants to do and will remember forever. For years we've had holiday destinations dictated to us and have had to get into debt to do these things at their request, and we've never complained to them. We've even scrapped plans for Bali etc. to accommodate for the nephew, so the least I can do is try and keep DH focussed on what he actually wants to do. I hope that doesn't sound whiny and resentful because I truly don't mean it to, I just want to empashise how important it is to me that DH has one occassion where he is the priority and gets a bit of a fuss made about him.
    Mortgage: Mar 2018 -300,000 / Jan 2019 -279,550 (LTV 74.54%)
    Student Loan: March 2011 -18,275.04 / December 2019 -12,246.78
    Joint Savings: Aim 13.5k. Dec 2016 1,700 / Jan 2019 14,550
    Loan to In-Laws: Sep 2010 -48,185.82 / Apr 2019 0
    Car Loan: Sep 2018 -16,265 / Apr 2019 0
    Credit Card 0%: Nov 2016 -4,500 / Apr 2019 0
    • Jessy103
    • By Jessy103 17th Jan 20, 1:20 PM
    • 602 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    Jessy103
    Sounds like you've got a lot on ch4rly and I wish you the best of luck with it all!!

    I don't think you sound whiny or resentful at all!!! I don't blame you for wanting to make this trip special for your OH and it sounds like you guys deserve to have a fantastic time for all the times you've had to keep YBIL happy!

    Funny how people from the same family can be so different and treated so differently by parents! I've recently found this with my bf, his parents seem to worship the ground his brother walks on! It's all 'He make this much money' and 'he's so busy and successful at work' etc but from what bf has told me, his brother has had to move from his own rented flat to live in a house share and has a lot of debt!!

    Anyway, have fun planning your trip, it sounds amazing!
    Starting Mortgage Balance (June 2019) 72,000
    Mortgage Balance as of 31/12/19 69,000
    2020 Overpayment Challenge: Jan 836.45
    • ch4rly2002
    • By ch4rly2002 17th Jan 20, 1:37 PM
    • 437 Posts
    • 1,696 Thanks
    ch4rly2002
    Wow Jessy, it sounds like a very similar situation with our partners' brothers. the in-laws do worship the ground YBIL and YNephew walk on (YSIL not so much as they have conflicting personalities, but it seems the more funny she is with them the better they treat her so they can stay in her good books!). Thankfully DH isn't jealous or resentful in any way, but it is noticeable how between the 'second coming' YBIL and the younger BIL with Aspergers (who obviously needs a lot more of the in-laws' attention) DH does feel a little forgotten at times, so I am determined to give him a special 40th and try get everyone in the family to do the same After that we can all go back to hearing how wonderful everyone else is and how perfect life is in America
    Mortgage: Mar 2018 -300,000 / Jan 2019 -279,550 (LTV 74.54%)
    Student Loan: March 2011 -18,275.04 / December 2019 -12,246.78
    Joint Savings: Aim 13.5k. Dec 2016 1,700 / Jan 2019 14,550
    Loan to In-Laws: Sep 2010 -48,185.82 / Apr 2019 0
    Car Loan: Sep 2018 -16,265 / Apr 2019 0
    Credit Card 0%: Nov 2016 -4,500 / Apr 2019 0
    • ch4rly2002
    • By ch4rly2002 21st Jan 20, 10:52 AM
    • 437 Posts
    • 1,696 Thanks
    ch4rly2002
    Had a lovely weekend with our friend. We treated him to takeaway on Friday to thank him for making the long journey from Eastbourne to Nottingham, which he appreciated. We played lots of games on Friday and some alcohol was drunk from the home bar (it's great to make use of it!).We also managed to use up quite a few boxes of festive friends that the kids hadn't got through at New Year (I'd bought a big pack of 6 boxes of festive friends thinking they'd get eaten by kids and adults over Christmas but they were left untouched and not very health friendly for us. As we usually buy snacks when friend and BIL come, it was pocket friendly to use them though, and it saves us from eating the lot!).
    Saturday and Sunday also involved lots of game playing and some drinking of alcohol, but not much. The drinks from New Years went down well, but we still have a lot left so we're not going to have to buy any more drinks for some time it seems. Lunch on Saturday was sandwiches and crisps but we did go out to a Chinese buffet on Saturday night at friend's request. Not very MS but he doesn't come up too often so if there is something up here that he wants to do we usually oblige. Sunday we had sandwiches and crisps for lunch and then sausage sandwiches in the evening as it's what we all fancied and it was quick and easy. Overall, a great time had by all.

    In disappointing news, DH spoke to YBIL on Sunday evening (I'd gone to bed at that point), and looks like DH's 40th birthday plans have been scuppered. Going back a few months to last year, when YBIL said they didn't want to go more than 3 hours time difference for the nephew, DH said he really wanted to go to Hawaii (this is something that has been discussed quite a few times in the past by DH and myself, and also the in-laws as we all really want to go but it hasn't happened due to timings). YBIL and his wife looked into it and came back saying it's too expensive (they didn't put a figure on it, but BIL in England is the 'weak link' in the chain as he hasn't got as much money, so we assume they thought it was too much for him. I also suspect they were only looking at 5* places, which we wouldn't have done, we would have probably said you guys go to a 5* place and the 5 of us will stay somewhere more reasonably priced). So, DH agreed with YBIL that maybe we should park that idea and look for something else to be considerate to English BIL. We've since been trying to get dates from the YBIL so we could book something, and I've been complaining to my long suffering DH that the longer we leave it the more expensive the trip would be. Fast forward to Sunday night and DH tells YBIL of the 3 options he'd like them to consider for his 40th trip and states 2 would be in May/June (his birthday is in April but he thinks that's a bit too soon now), and the other would be August (but as discussed up above, DH doesn't want it to turn into something more about their anniversary and birthday). YBIL says their preference is to do something in August as they've booked to go to Hawaii in March and are paying to take their nanny and YBIL's wife's mum.... Hawaii!!! I was fuming when DH told me. Not only are they going to DH's first choice of location, they now want to push out the trip to long after DH's birthday for it as well. We're both disappointed that they didn't ring us before booking to say they were going to book Hawaii and did we want to look at the price to see if it's somewhere we'd all like to go. Poor DH was holding back tears and he doesn't cry often. He thought he'd made it clear how important this trip was for something to do together as a family (looks like they won't be able to join us now) and the fact that they're going to his first choice. I've told DH I'm going to try and find him something absolutely wonderful that he'll love that his parents and English BIL can do, but I know this will taint it for him now. I really feel for him

    To end the post on a lighter note, I won 10p on the TCB competition. I also got paid today. Not quite what I was expecting, but I'm glad to be earning again.
    Last edited by ch4rly2002; 21-01-2020 at 10:56 AM.
    Mortgage: Mar 2018 -300,000 / Jan 2019 -279,550 (LTV 74.54%)
    Student Loan: March 2011 -18,275.04 / December 2019 -12,246.78
    Joint Savings: Aim 13.5k. Dec 2016 1,700 / Jan 2019 14,550
    Loan to In-Laws: Sep 2010 -48,185.82 / Apr 2019 0
    Car Loan: Sep 2018 -16,265 / Apr 2019 0
    Credit Card 0%: Nov 2016 -4,500 / Apr 2019 0
    • Jessy103
    • By Jessy103 21st Jan 20, 1:32 PM
    • 602 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    Jessy103
    Oh no ch4rly!!!! How selfish of YBIL!!! Grrr I'm mad for your DH and you!!!
    I really hope you find something even more fantastic for his birthday and narnas to YBIL! x
    Starting Mortgage Balance (June 2019) 72,000
    Mortgage Balance as of 31/12/19 69,000
    2020 Overpayment Challenge: Jan 836.45
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