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    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 1st Jan 17, 8:31 AM
    • 9,971Posts
    • 62,268Thanks
    Frump to Fab 2017 - A Whole New World
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 17, 8:31 AM
    Frump to Fab 2017 - A Whole New World 1st Jan 17 at 8:31 AM
    Good Morning Lovely Ladies

    Welcome to the new Frump to Fab thread. A whole new world of frugal style and fabulousity. A place where we learn from each other how to be the best we can with the resources we have.

    Can you be both frugal and fabulous, I think so. You can be both skint and stylish. You can have your cake and eat it, you can "live it large" on a minuscule budget.

    So to all you newbies welcome. Join in the fun with the ladies in our fabulous online community. Here we discuss all things fabulous and we learn all about "fabbing".

    Yes I know it's a made up word but what does it mean.

    Well for us it means taking care of ourselves, our looks yes of course but it's more than "mere vanity".

    "FAbbing" also means looking after our health, our well being, our homes, our careers, our hobbies, our interests and past times and not forgetting our finances.

    ANd of course, it goes without saying, a verybig warm welcome to our regulars, returners, and lurkers.

    So dear newbies Join in the fun with the ladies in our fabulous online community

    Before we get started let me take this opportunity to wish you all A Very Happy, Peaceful and Prosperous New Year.

    Today you may be busy with New Year's Day gatherings or you may Be feeling a little worse for wear after the New Years Eve Celebrations so for now we are going to be gentle.

    No fasting, no detox (unless of course you want to) but I would advocate that we ease ourselves gently into the New Year by remembering our first mantra.

    Step 1. Wear perfume. You should smell divine every day. Don't save your favourite fragrances "for best". Never again save anything for best. Don't we deserve to be the best we can be - every single day.

    Ah but what about the cost I hear you say. This is a Money saving website after all.......

    Well you don't have to douse yourself in your most expensive Dior or Chanel perfumes. A simple spray of cologne will still smell wonderful.

    And one of the nicest smells of all is a waft of fresh clean soap. So if you can't afford perfume then at least make sure you are freshly washed or showered and use a lovely soap or shower gel.

    So dig out some of those new smellies you got for Christmas and start using them.

    Today's tip.

    Got a perfume you don't like because it's too strong or heavy?? Dilute it.

    Don't throw it away or regift it. Add it to some simple cream or lotion or even some vegetable oil and make a luxurious moisturising body treatment. The height of luxury and decadence for mere pennies.

    I am still recovering from my chest infection.......feeling a lot better today but I'm still going to take it easy. So........I am going to spend some time today pondering on what I would like to achieve this year. I am not going to think in terms of New Years Resolutions it will be more a case of goal setting.

    As most of you will know Dad died on Friday so much of January will entail making his funeral arrangements and sorting out his estate.
    This means that, realistically, I am going to be busy for the next couple of weeks so I might have to catch up with my new plans.

    But.......just because I might not be posting everyday doesn't mean to
    Say that I won't be keeping a watchful eye on you. I shall be reading and observing!!!

    So please start the new fabbing year without me and I'll catch up with you all again just as soon as I can.

    Have a fabulous New Year's Day. See you all soon.

    Last edited by lessonlearned; 01-01-2017 at 2:09 PM.
Page 55
    • LaineyT
    • By LaineyT 10th Jul 17, 11:34 AM
    • 2,092 Posts
    • 25,726 Thanks
    Morning fabbers,

    I had a quiet, but very nice weekend, loads of time just spent relaxing and enjoying our home. Apart from a constant dry mouth I haven't experienced any side effects from my medication, have realised that having a glass of sparkling water with lemon juice in it and nearby really helps, at least I will be well hydrated!
    Took a decision to slightly tweak my eating plan and have moved on to a 5:2 regime with two fasts per week, I do like the cleansing feeling that a 16 hour fast gives me and hopefully it will mean more fat burnt. The rest of the time with be a Mediterranean style menu with the emphasis on plenty of salad, veg, pulses and good quality protein.
    It's very hot here again but I was up reasonably early and have got all my chores done, including a pile of ironing. I did notice that there was four dresses in the pile, I seem to be wearing them a lot at the moment as they are so cool and comfy, also realised that I feel more feminine and elegant in a dress and for a tomboy like myself that is never a bad thing
    LL a get together sounds an excellent idea, am afraid I don't know our capital very well so will need to rely on others for recommendations but am reasonably flexible on dates / times.
    Sugarbaby the play sounded wonderful, well done on your DD for picking up preview tickets.

    Take care x
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 10th Jul 17, 4:20 PM
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    • 62,268 Thanks
    Lainey - I have been drinking sparkling water with a slice of lemon during this hot weather. It is very refreshing and of course zero calories. I buy Sainsbugs. Basics 29p a litre and it really is lovely.

    Well Maman you asked what I treated myself to for my birthday. Well it's quite an eclectic mix - a mash up of frivolous and practical. A proper knee brace to help my knee, (not very glamourous) but extremely useful, some new make up, and a book on Investing (hopefully that will turn out to be a good investment ha ha).

    I had no intention of buying clothes because I have wardrobes full. Then this morning I looked atthe justlastseason website and they had some "Monday Madness" offers so I bought a pale grey Jacques Verte chiffon crepe dress 89 but it was down To 29 with a further 10 per cent voucher......well it wouldhave been rude not to wouldnt it. Very plain, Its one of those dresses that can be dressed up or down and will take you anywhere. I can't wear black so this will be my equivalent of a LBD (little black dress).

    Then......I had a further couple of small wins.....

    Took my car for a repair and the bill came in at 30 less than quoted plus I won 25 on the premium bonds. So, in the end, my birthday treats hardly cost me anything.....

    Then I picked up a bag of yellow stickered parsnips of my favourite vegetables.

    Who said you can't live it large on a shoestring budget.

    On Saturday I got taken out to a lovely country house hotel for a posh afternoon tea. My sons hadn't realised when they chose it that it was where we had our wedding reception. It bought back some very happy memories.

    For the occasion I wore a calf length blue/turquoise and purple swirly patterned pure silk dress - 10 from a charity shop - bought several years ago and which has had at least a dozen outings so price per wear is around 0.80p. I slung a cotton turquoise silk/cotton shrug 3 charity shop over my shoulders.

    I definitely looked the part .....there was a wedding there and I looked as good as the bridal guests in all their finery, even if I do say so myself. In fact one of the waiters assumed I was a wedding guest.

    It just goes to show you really don't need to spend a fortune to look nice.

    Sugarbaby - your outings sound fabulous.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 10-07-2017 at 4:24 PM.
    • chanie
    • By chanie 10th Jul 17, 4:49 PM
    • 2,009 Posts
    • 10,427 Thanks
    LL what a lovely birthday you had. I love the thought of you being mistaken for a wedding guest at the venue you had your own wedding reception.

    I had a bit of a lazy work day today. I spent the morning preparing a homemade weightwatchers tracker, so I can use it to record what I'm eating. I added a couple of extra columns for water and fruit/veg intake as well. Its looks very pretty and I hope it gives me the incentive to loose weight, as I've really struggled with the Plan otherwise.
    2018 challenge to save 1000
    Spend less - 444.13
    Live more - 1669.05
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More - a spending diary
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 12th Jul 17, 8:16 AM
    • 1,279 Posts
    • 8,272 Thanks
    Hello Ladies,

    I waited all day and evening to hear from my Doctor on Monday. I called the surgery twice to make sure I was still on the call back list and they confirmed I was. I finally got a call from her just after 7.30pm on Tuesday evening on my mobile. I missed the call, but she left a message. Apparently the latest results from my tests have not yet been received by her, so I just have to be patient.

    I am going to a Hypertension group meeting that my surgery has set up for patients on Thursday afternoon. Hopefully I will gain more knowledge and will feel even more motivated to keep improving my diet and the amount of daily exercise I am doing.

    I went to a food tasting event at Cubana in Waterloo yesterday evening. As it was literally pouring down with rain, less than half of the expected number of people turned up. My daughter and I had the most aromatic, delicious Cuban street food and a mojito each all for free. We also got another portion of food to take away, so that will be my lunch today. This Cuban restaurant, has friendly, professional staff and there is a lovely warmth and ambience in the restaurant. The food has so many subtle flavours and there is so many dishes to try on the menu. We will definitely return as paying customers when the weather is dry again. It has space to dine al fresco and that is what I would prefer to do on our return visit.
    • maman
    • By maman 12th Jul 17, 11:38 AM
    • 17,934 Posts
    • 107,346 Thanks
    You seem to be an expert on finding very exciting and mse things to do sugarbaby. Well done! I saw the Viceroy's House a while ago when it was in the cinema. I agree the interiors were sumptuous, definitely given the Downton Abbey treatment. I enjoyed it and it motivated me to read more about the partition. I do that a lot with historical novels too.

    I hope you find the hypertension session useful.

    I went to the GP this morning to check out my ankle. Apparently it's an inflamed Achilles tendon probably caused by wearing very flat sandals on holiday as I suspected. The doctor said that exercise is good (which I'm pleased about because of my dancing) and he's given me an exercise to do as well. I don't like bothering them for such a minor thing but I asked the nurse for advice (rest v exercise) on Monday and she recommended I made an appointment.

    I'm keeping up with fabbing. On Monday I had the shellac taken off my nails to give them a rest. I've cut them short and last night I've painted them with the Barry M manicure treatments I bought a while ago. I always seem to take more care of my nails when I don't have shellac because I'm more conscious of how they look. Shellac covers a multitude of syns.

    Yesterday I went into the city centre partly to browse in the sales. I bought myself a very pretty dress which will be useful for dancing. Like you Lainey I'm wearing dresses a lot more than I used to, especially in good weather and with brown legs.

    The dress was half price so won't need many outings to be cost effective. In Top Shop I bought a matching shawl/pashmina for 5. I've got a skirt, cardigan and silky top now all in that colour so can do mix and match. Then in TK Maxx I got some black suede ballet pumps (also on clearance) to give my Dune ones a rest as I'm wearing those a lot lately.

    That was for me but I bought some pretty bedding for home fabbing in Primark of all places. It's plain white with a trim of Art Deco style green embroidery. I was tempted to buy some coloured glasswear of the same era in the CS but decided I probably have plenty at home. I may go back though.

    So, all in all a successful shopping trip and not very expensive either.

    Sorry it's all been a bit me me today. Hope you're all having a good day.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 12th Jul 17, 2:26 PM
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    • 62,268 Thanks
    Maman....what a pretty dress. Your shopping trip sounds fab.
    I had a little shopping spree yesterday too.

    Bought some gorgeous curtains for my new bedroom (I will be moving into DS2s room) - just need to get some paint and then we can get started next week. Also ordered a couple of 0.01p books from a certain online bookseller and I bought myself a pretty cut glass perfume bottle. One of my usual "something shiny" from my husband to me for my birthday

    So a nice few treats this week.

    Well now bet you can't guess......

    MY sister is suing for peace.

    I think her conscience finally got the better of her because she has upped her offer to 10k from her first derisory offer of 2k

    I have accepted it with good grace.

    It's still far short of an equitable 50-50 split but it was never really about the actual amount, rather the lies, deception and my fathers spitefulness and her collusion.

    Anyway I have accepted the profferred olive branch. I will of course be courteous and polite and will do my utmost to ensure that peace and harmony is restored once more to the family for the sake of our children and wider family members. However, I shall not be getting "close" again. I will maintain a healthy and cordial distance. I doubt that I will ever be able to trust her again so I won't be spending much time with her.

    Is her contrition genuine, or is she after something again. Only time will tell but as you can see now that my trust has been broken I am a tad sceptical.......

    Anyway some chair painting beckons......will be glad when I've finished.
    • Floss
    • By Floss 12th Jul 17, 2:45 PM
    • 4,518 Posts
    • 40,446 Thanks
    LL well that was a surprise! Perhaps you should do something with the money so if she ever comes back for it, you can honestly say "Oh I don't have it any more, I donated it to the cats home / spent it on a sports car / gave it to the Big Issue seller in the precinct "
    • savingfortomorrow
    • By savingfortomorrow 12th Jul 17, 6:30 PM
    • 508 Posts
    • 3,517 Thanks
    lessons learned
    that is a turn up for the books. I agree with Floss, use it for something that you will enjoy, perhaps something indulgent and truly wonderful. Travel or buy a beautiful piece of art but enjoy it! I hope that it gives you some pleasure.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 12th Jul 17, 7:26 PM
    • 9,971 Posts
    • 62,268 Thanks
    Yes it was a surprise......My gob was well and truly smacked.

    and yes I am going to use it for some of life's nice little extras, and to to make some of my cherished dreams come true.

    It will be my travel and adventure fund.

    So yes I most definitely will "take the trip, buy the shoes" or in my case, the painting or beautiful piece of glassware. .

    It will be nice too to be able to be generous to the boys and their ladies and to treat them now and again. I already do of course when I can but it will be nice to have a little bit extra to play with.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 12-07-2017 at 7:29 PM.
    • Rubyslippers77
    • By Rubyslippers77 12th Jul 17, 10:55 PM
    • 305 Posts
    • 1,791 Thanks
    A (very) belated Happy Birthday from me LL - we were away for the weekend taking the boys to Peppa Pig World - 30 degree heat, thousands of screaming toddlers and me with a tummy bug, such fun! It wasn't as bad as it could have been as the park itself has lots of nice bits to rest in, but I could have done without being poorly. The boys have been under the weather since we got back too

    Glad to hear that you had a lovely time, and looked completely fab at your celebrations! And what a shock about your sister, although on reflection it sounds like her conscience has (finally!) got the better of her. If nothing else the money can be used to treat you and your loved ones, bringing some pleasure you weren't expecting.

    I think it's a great idea about meeting up too, I could probably make it into London on a weekend afternoon, but not the first week in October as we are away then for the boys' second birthday (Sept 30th onwards). Any other date would hopefully be fine

    Your invitation cheered me up actually as a friend has just cancelled on me yet again; she's such a nice girl, I've known her almost 20 years and she always says how much she'd like to meet up, however this is the 4th time in a row that she's cancelled and I'm getting a bit disheartened!! There were three occasions over Christmas - I gave up for a while after that and then when she came back to me, we arranged a get together for this Saturday - she's now told me that she's double booked herself and can't make it. As the previous three excuses were a double booking, illness and family problems I think I'll leave it again for a bit..... it was irritating when she used to do this pre-babies but now I have the boys, it's even more irritating as I don't think she realises how difficult it is for me to arrange a few hours to get away.

    It's been rather chilly here today, but a welcome rest from being far too hot, and much better for me trying to look after poorly babies! I hear one stirring so had better go.....
    • maman
    • By maman 12th Jul 17, 11:59 PM
    • 17,934 Posts
    • 107,346 Thanks
    Ooohrubyslippers I live just 15 minutes from Peppa Pig World! Sorry to hear you've had a tummy bug though. It was baking hot on Saturday. I was dancing in the evening and almost melted away.

    I'd be very wary of your sister's offer LL. Not exactly take the money and run but, as you said, keep a polite distance. It's an overture but I think too much water has flowed for you to trust her completely.

    Glad you treated yourself to some birthday gifts.
    • Floss
    • By Floss 13th Jul 17, 11:25 AM
    • 4,518 Posts
    • 40,446 Thanks
    We'll everything that has been posted about M&S has been confirmed - I walked through today on my way back to my car, and was confronted by rail upon rail of dull or oddly coloured shapeless stuff, being fussed over by at least 3 hotels full of OAPs. Didn't see much being bought, apart from the Dine in for 10 in the food hall
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 13th Jul 17, 11:51 AM
    • 1,279 Posts
    • 8,272 Thanks
    Hello Ladies,

    LL what wonderful news about your sister's capitulation on the money front. I suspect that the estrangement with you had finally made her wake up and realise just how central you had always been to her own personal happiness and security. She is missing you and the fact that you were the one family member she had always been able to count on to be there for her.

    I too think that too much was said to you and done to you, for you to ever have the same relationship that you shared with your sister in the past, but grab this olive branch with both hands. Not only will the spending of the money on your own pleasures and gifts for your children and other family members be great for all concerned, but the money was only what you should have been given right from the start.

    It must be such a relief for you to know that you have not lost your sister forever and that there is a new future as sisters for the both of you to look forward to. Make sure it is a relationship that is on your own terms and is nurturing for you as well as your sister.

    Ruby, do you feel that your friend is backing away from the friendship she shares with you? I only suggest it, as she is making quite frivolous excuses to not meet up with you after being only too willing to make arrangements to meet you. Sometimes people just outgrow friendships, but they find it hard to admit that.

    Maman, I have always been MSE when it comes to spending, more out of necessity than any other reason, but once I found the MSE newsletter, I became even more MSE. Sometimes I come across really good theatre offers, for example a 69 Band A ticket reduced to 29.50, but even though this was for a play I would like to see, I still do not want to fork out 29.50 for a single theatre ticket. I much prefer to pay 10 - 12 for preview tickets or to take advantage of free tickets that are offered to me. If I was not feeling unwell, I would be out most days of the week at free events, as London is awash with them. The biggest advantage to living in London, is that an interesting, adventurous day out does not have to be costly, even if one or both of my children want to come along with me.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 13th Jul 17, 12:38 PM
    • 9,971 Posts
    • 62,268 Thanks
    MSE Ways
    I too am very MSE - always have been. Growing up relatively poor, living on a working class council estate I learned how to skimp and save to make my dreams come true. I always wanted a better life and I realised that being "good with money" was the key to buying the lifestyle I craved, so I acquired good MSE muscles at a relatively early age.

    Good job really because my frugal ways have saved my bacon more than once. And in the long run, being frugal is what enabled me not to just survive the last few years but to now actually thrive a bit economically and have a reasonably sound financial retirement.

    It's Being thrifty that helps pay for my holidays and enables me to have the odd little splurge......

    I am also fiercely independent and will always try to tackle things myself before buying in paid help. However, sometimes I think I try and take it too far. This morning was a case in point,

    I was trying to unblock a rainwater gulley which runs along the pavement outside our house. It's purpose is to take the rain water from the down pipe to the road drain. I was on my knees, dressed in my scruffs, marigolds on, poking rods up it to free the debris that had accumulated when a very smartly dressed lady stopped in astonishment. She asked me what I was doing so I explained the problem. She smiled and said "well I admire your independence but have you rang the council"

    duh....., never occurred to me it was their responsibility and not mine. I spoke to a lovely man called Chris who kept calling me Poppet.

    (How did he know that was my pet name......yes seriously my mother always called it me when I was little and it stuck. I am now a 66 year old Poppet to my nearest and dearest. )

    Anyway I digress. Chris is going to send "the guys" round.

    I have been working out a new budget for when I take over this house. I think I shall be quite comfortable and still able to add to my savings.

    I have to admit I would love to live in or around London, there is always so much to see and do. And yes you are right you don't need to spend much money. However, as long ad the boys are based "ooop norf" then I shall remain here to be near them. My city is not too bad for free/cheap outings though.

    A large parcel arrived for me yesterday from my son for my birthday. I have no idea what it is.......he's being very coy........

    He says all will be revealed when he sets it up. I think it's an electronic gizmo of some sort........
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 13-07-2017 at 12:56 PM.
    • indiepanda
    • By indiepanda 14th Jul 17, 7:57 AM
    • 988 Posts
    • 6,622 Thanks
    Hello everyone, wishing you a fab Friday.

    Happy belated birthday LL and good news about the house and the money from your sister. I know the relationship with your sister will never be quite the same, but at least you are wise enough to use the money for good purpose and to do things that make you happy.

    Re the idea of meeting up, October would be good for me. I am either getting ready for holiday, away on holiday or celebrating my birthday with friends at weekends in September, but as a result I've not made plans to go away for any trips in October yet.

    I had a lovely time in Scotland, it was the perfect antidote to the disappointment over the situation with A and I've quickly gotten over that. I am not averse to the idea of being friends with him as it would be nice to have a friend who enjoys doing the historic guided walks that I like doing and often end up doing on my own, but I don't feel distressed about the idea of not being his girlfriend. Anyone who can't find the idea of going for a walk in beautiful countryside appealing (which he doesn't) isn't really my kind of person. Even the tennis player was up for a walk - admittedly my hiking trips would have been his idea of hell as he is shy and not good with large groups of strangers (especially not women, and our trips tend to have more women than men) and the early mornings would have killed him, but he was happy to go out walking just the two of us if I left it till later in the day.

    I was feeling the benefits of my weight loss on the walking trip - getting uphill was way easier and I even surprised myself and did two Munros and a Munro top, which is the most ascent I've done in a day since I did Snowden over twenty years ago. That's given me motivation to push to shift some more before my next hiking trip to Romania in September, although I've been a bit naughty on the diet lately, a bit too much drink and too many carbs - I can feel my brain fogging and my energy levels slumping, which makes it a bit hard to get started.

    Anyway, I am out tonight to celebrate a friend's birthday and have a perfume making workshop on Saturday but otherwise no fixed plans for this weekend so will use some of the time to re-review my fitter food materials and get back on track. I just finished reading Agassi's biography and seeing how low he sunk and came back from really reminded me how feeble some of my excuses for not making healthy choices have been in the past and that makes me want to show some grit and knuckle down.

    I have been anything but MSE with my spending this week. Got three dresses and a skirt in the annual Emily and Fin sample and past season stock sale and then bought two tops and a dress in Wallis and a pair of flat rose gold sandals in Dune. The Wallis dress will get worn tonight and the Emily and Fins should get used for Ceroc. One of the Wallis tops I have a party to go to Saturday week I will use it for and the other I think will get worn for work in the meantime, although it will also work for leisure use. They add new stock to the Emily and Fin sale each day so I may pop back in another day - there's one particular style I love and they didn't have any in my size when I went in so with a bit of luck I might find one on Sunday / Monday.

    Then the purse strings need to get pulled up tight - no more spending on clothes this summer unless I shift enough weight for the next size down (and that's unlikely given we're in July already). If the weather forecast for Romania ends up really hot I might need to get a couple of pairs of cheap hiking shorts but otherwise I am holding out on investing in expensive hiking kit until I am at a size I want to maintain. New good quality waterproofs will cost hundreds and my old ones have been with me for over ten years - but aside of being a bit loose, they still do the job, so am not going to replace quite yet. I will need to buy new clothes when the autumn draws in as I haven't bought much warm stuff in my new size, but am hoping to hold out until I've shifted enough to buy at the size I want to stay rather than current size.

    I also need to be MSE on the beauty product front - I have quite the stock of samples from Christmas calendars to use up and must resist the temptation to get more stuff before I've run my supplies down.
    It's interesting reading about how wise some of you are on the spending front. I grew up quite poor and instead of making me naturally frugal it seems to have made me quite inclined to frivolity as I hated the penny pinching and never having much nice when I was a kid. I suppose the trick is to find ways of having the nice things at cheaper prices.

    Charity shops rarely seem to work for me as I am too fussy on colour / style, but I do at least need to find out how to get hold of things like cheaper theatre trips like Sugarbaby. I usually go with my social club who get a discount, but it's far from free and rarely less than 40 or more. I have been dabbling with the idea of getting into needlework, but I am not sure that will end up that MSE - the nicest fabrics aren't that cheap, so you might get something unique and something exactly how you want, but saving money.... not so much!

    I am going to work from home today to make it easy to get ready to go out tonight - getting ready in the toilet isn't quite the same as being able to have a shower at home and it means I can paint my toenails this morning in the time I would have spent using commuting and they can dry while I work with bare feet.

    Anyway, time is ticking on so better get moving! Have a good day all x
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 14th Jul 17, 10:37 AM
    • 1,279 Posts
    • 8,272 Thanks
    Hello Ladies,

    I went to see the comedian Dane Baptiste at 2 North Down in Islington last night. At first I really enjoyed his brand of humour, but within about 25 minutes he started to do material that I found quite offensive, so I switched off. In the end I just felt that all of the crude language, swearing and offensive material was boring and I struggled to stay awake in the end. At the end of the show, I could not wait to get out of the exit door. He is very intelligent and very talented, as I have seen him on various television shows and he also wrote and starred in a comedy show for the BBC, so I had thought I knew what I would be letting myself in for. Unfortunately, I was really disappointed. He did point out that in this show and his upcoming shows the material he was using was for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and he was trying to find out what would work there. Obviously that is a very different audience if this material is anything to go by.

    I did have a free ticket for this show and I left detailed feedback with my ticket provider about just why I found some of the material really sexist and deeply offensive.

    The venue was not my cup of tea either. It was so dirty, especially the toilets, that I did not feel comfortable. I will not be returning to this particular venue for any shows in the future.

    The Hypertension drop in provided me with lots of written material that should help to guide me and inform me in my journey back to a life without hypertension or an enlarged heart without resorting to taking pills.

    LL I am glad your MSE thrift allows you to have holidays and the occasional splurge. Endless scrimping and saving really causes a person's inner spirit to plummet in my personal experience. Your financial foresight is now seeing you in good stead.

    , what a lovely, positive post. I hope A wants to become friends but if he is reluctant, then let him bow out of your life. It will be his loss. I love reading about your busy life. Keep enjoying all of your social pursuits. It sounds as if your weight loss is changing your style, as more style options are opened up to you. Well done on your weight loss journey. It is very inspiring.
    Last edited by sugarbaby125; 14-07-2017 at 12:26 PM.
    • maman
    • By maman 14th Jul 17, 12:51 PM
    • 17,934 Posts
    • 107,346 Thanks
    Good to see you back indie and pleased you had a good holiday. I know what you mean about too much booze and carbs though. I've been back 10 days now and it's been a bit of a struggle to get back to normal'. Diary is starting to fill up again and, although I like to be sociable, I find it really hard to have healthy stuff in restaurants.

    I think it's a good idea to buy some dresses in the sales. The Emily and Fin type are vintage styles so they won't date.

    Did you mean dressmaking or craft type sewing indie? I like sewing and knitting but don't really want to make handmade clothes so except for the occasional bit of soft furnishing I haven't done much lately.

    I had another browse yesterday in a little market town near us. They have an independent department store (rare breed these days) which sometimes suits me. Yesterday there was nothing. I did try on a Seasalt long sleeved white top but decided I have a very similar one which I rarely wear as white only suits me in high summer. My shopping consisted of fresh beetroot, runner beans and strawberries from the greengrocer!

    Isn't it strange that a comedian can choose material for television which is perfectly acceptable but thinks a private audience wants him to be offensive?? You do have a wide range of tastes though sugarbaby. Are you still doing karaoke?

    I'm in the fortunate position of being mse from choice. While my family wasn't super affluent, it was comfortable so I didn't experience any hardship as a child. My parents were very supportive of education and gave me a strong work ethic. I think that, as a result, I resent being ripped off and want to choose how I spend my hard earned money. I love shopping in Aldi and I love even more the way the other supermarkets have been forced to sit up and pay attention. I get angry when Sainsbury's put something up by 20% or shrink the packaging maybe assuming we're too stupid or lazy to notice. That doesn't mean I won't pay for convenience ( pre-prepared take away/ restaurant) if it suits me but that's my choice, sometimes I value my time more IYSWIM.

    Not sure what's happening here this weekend. My DH has a dose of man flu (hope he doesn't give it to me) so we'll see how things develop.
    • indiepanda
    • By indiepanda 14th Jul 17, 1:51 PM
    • 988 Posts
    • 6,622 Thanks
    Indie[/B], what a lovely, positive post. I hope A wants to become friends but if he is reluctant, then let him bow out of your life. It will be his loss. I love reading about your busy life. Keep enjoying all of your social pursuits. It sounds as if your weight loss is changing your style, as more style options are opened up to you. Well done on your weight loss journey. It is very inspiring.
    Originally posted by sugarbaby125
    Hi Sugarbaby, sorry to hear the comedy show was so disappointing. I have found people live are often a bit more.. well, they might call it "edgy", I would use slightly less complementary words - it's not that I never swear, but it's very occasional (usually when I've just stubbed my toe on my iron bed frame!) rather than in every sentence - I don't know why they seem to think it's so clever - like little boys who have never grown up. And I know what you mean about the sexism... comedy is far too male dominated even though some of our very best comedians have been women - the sadly missed Victoria Wood for example.

    A was very keen to be friends, he just didn't want to be my boyfriend - said he wasn't feeling the chemistry any more but really enjoyed hanging out with me and going on the historic walks we did together. I have a suspicion that someone who has never had a girlfriend who is 42 and didn't lose their virginity till they were 33 might not be entirely into women full stop but very into denial.... but it's not my problem now! Anyway I had told him I would have to think about whether I wanted to be friends after the way he had behaved towards me, but I concluded after I had calmed down that it would be silly of me to withdraw my friendship as some sort of punishment if I thought I would actually enjoy hanging out too.

    Good to see you back indie and pleased you had a good holiday. I know what you mean about too much booze and carbs though. I've been back 10 days now and it's been a bit of a struggle to get back to normal'. Diary is starting to fill up again and, although I like to be sociable, I find it really hard to have healthy stuff in restaurants.

    I think it's a good idea to buy some dresses in the sales. The Emily and Fin type are vintage styles so they won't date.

    Did you mean dressmaking or craft type sewing indie? I like sewing and knitting but don't really want to make handmade clothes so except for the occasional bit of soft furnishing I haven't done much lately.

    I'm in the fortunate position of being mse from choice. While my family wasn't super affluent, it was comfortable so I didn't experience any hardship as a child. My parents were very supportive of education and gave me a strong work ethic. I think that, as a result, I resent being ripped off and want to choose how I spend my hard earned money. I love shopping in Aldi and I love even more the way the other supermarkets have been forced to sit up and pay attention. I get angry when Sainsbury's put something up by 20% or shrink the packaging maybe assuming we're too stupid or lazy to notice. That doesn't mean I won't pay for convenience ( pre-prepared take away/ restaurant) if it suits me but that's my choice, sometimes I value my time more IYSWIM.
    Originally posted by maman
    It's dressmaking I want to do maman, my mum was a very talented dressmaker in her day - made me a ball dress for university and my sister's wedding dress as well as many of our clothes when we were children - usually from market stall remnants so very MSE. My sister is a good dressmaker now - makes up her own styles as well as using the odd pattern. I was very good at it at school but haven't done anything for years. Did a course about 5 years ago at a sewing cafe in Clapham (Sew Over it) and follow their owner's vlog, always watch the Great Bristish Sewing Bee avidly and have a number of books on the subject but haven't quite got round to doing something on my own. I might start with attempting some basic alterations. My older Emily and Fin dresses are now a bit loose and although some would be very complicated to alter, I think some of them could be taken in without too much trouble.

    The reason I would like to do is because I often find I see a style I like, but not in a colour fabric I like / would suit me, or a fabric I love, but the style is wrong for me, so I think it would be lovely to be able to have both style and fabric I love. Plus I feel some urge for a creative outlet, my family are all quite creative and I used to be as a child / teenager, just lost it in among the study for my professional exams and never quite got round to taking it up again.

    I should say on the finance front I am not completely daft - I pay plenty into my pension and I manage a mortgage on a house in London on my own which not many women do - most of my friends have flats rather than houses. Being the first in my family to go to university and the only one with a professional qualification I've definitely done well financially compared to my roots. But there is definitely scope for a lot of improvement in what I do with what I earn.

    Got to remortgage this year and need to change energy provider too - am sure British Gas aren't the cheapest. At least I remembered to reclaim my single person council tax discount - that's worth 250. But mainly just need to quit overbuying. There's definitely a psychological element to that - a lot of my family do it - can't resist a discount and think of it as saving money, when really it's spending.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 14th Jul 17, 2:05 PM
    • 9,971 Posts
    • 62,268 Thanks
    Good Morning lovely ladies

    Hope you are all having a Fab Friday.

    I have been out and about this morning But am now back in my scruffs ready to do some more painting. I browsed a few charity shops but didn't see anything - just a couple of DVDs which I shall set aside for winter viewing.

    Sugarbaby - I know what you mean about comedians. There was one like that on the cruise one night. A lot of the audience walked out on him, myself included. I'm not a prude and I enjoy adult themes as much as the next person but I don't want to listen to sexist, racist filth. I like wit, cheekiness and saucy humour, but I think there's a difference between that and crude profanities.

    Lovely post Indie and I think it's a great idea to buy nice things when you see them. I find my best buys are when I'm not actively searching but just browsing iyswim. I've learned to snaffle them up when I see something I like.

    Re the sewing. I'm actually quite skilled with a needle and used to make a lot of clothes when I was younger but I don't really bother now.. As you say nice fabrics are so expensive, it can often cost more to make than to buy.

    Maman....meant to say hope your ankle gets better soon. A podiatrist once told me that always wearing flat shoes was as bad as always wearing heels. Especially really flat ones, like ballerina pumps qnd gladiator type sandles. He reckoned we should mix it up a bit.

    Good excuse for lots of shoes.......

    Lost another half pound. I am starting to see a difference in my clothes, my tummy is getting nice and flat now. Still wearing 18s but they are starting to feel quite loose now.

    Can't wait to get into my 16s. I have a wardrobe full of really nice 14s and 16s, some brand new, some lightly worn.

    Right lunch break over. Time to get back to work.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 14-07-2017 at 2:12 PM.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 14th Jul 17, 2:53 PM
    • 9,971 Posts
    • 62,268 Thanks
    Indie......I wouldnt worry too much, you sound pretty astute to me. You have a good career, house, pension etc. Sounds like you have the basics in place and the right foundations to build a solid future.

    The only thing I will say is that you never know what's round the corner. Life can throw curved balls. A decent nest egg can make difficult times a bit easier.

    Having said that, you simply can't plan for everything. We thought we were on pretty solid ground .......

    We never expected my husband to get so sick, for so long, to end up paralysed and to die so young......although he always used to say that he thought he would never make it to retirement age.

    He was so ill for so long - 9 years- that we simply ran out of money. Long term illness costs a lot of money.

    Luckily I had assets I could sell to keep us going and we had endowments that matured round about the time he died. He also had taken out life insurance to protect his family. He took great care to make sure that we would be well provided for. I was able to clear the debts and start again.

    When we knew his condition was terminal (well I knew from day one, I think he did too but never really openly admitted it) we discussed the future and how we wanted to help the boys onto the property ladder.

    My husbands last words were "look after the boys" I am proud to say I have done this, not just financially but I also try to guide them and give them moral support. (Of course I only give advice when asked, they are grown ups after all )

    Although they have not had any genetic testing and we have been reassured that the risk is extremely low I have tried to guide the boys, how they can protect themselves, what symptoms to watch out for and how to prepare financially should lightening strike twice.

    Having seen for themselves the financial impact of ill health, they have been quick to learn and take appropriate measures. They have set up pensions, savings and investments, life and private medical insurance and are careful not to overcomit themselves and take on debt.

    However, they have also learned that you need to live life to the full whilst you can. One of my greatest comforts is that my husband got to fulfil some of his cherished ambitions and dreams - a career he loved, travel, his hobbies and past times, participating in all his sport and adrenaline fuelled adventures.

    As Martin would say, prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

    At the end of his life my father had become a bit of a miser and a hoarder. Hanging onto his possessions as if they were a life raft and unable to spend money even on life enhancing experiences or to make his surroundings more comfortable for his old age.

    What good did his money do him in the merely fuelled my siststers avarice and greed.

    Indie.....enjoy your money, you have worked hard and deserve your professional status and career success. Of course you should save and invest for the future and not squander your money, but you also need to strike a balance and enjoy some of it now.
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