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  • FIRST POST
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 31st Dec 16, 4:05 AM
    • 2,283Posts
    • 12,157Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    From debt to freedom...
    • #1
    • 31st Dec 16, 4:05 AM
    From debt to freedom... 31st Dec 16 at 4:05 AM
    For a couple of months I have been lurking and reading diaries which have been helpful and inspiring. I thought that I would start a diary to keep myself focussed on getting rid of the debts.

    I am a working mum, recently separated from my husband. I have a large family which makes for an interesting and busy life! I have had a couple of LBMs in recent years and tried to stick to a budget. I had 2 loans totalling 17, 000 at one point. One loan was paid in Aug 2016 and the 2nd has just over 2,000 to go and is due to be paid off by August 2017.
    Other than that, I have a cc with a 475 balance, 2 home improvement loans ( for double glazing) that both have about 1700 outstanding. These have a horrible interest rate of 22%, so I'm eager to tackle these first.
Page 78
    • Steerpike88
    • By Steerpike88 6th Jan 20, 10:05 PM
    • 110 Posts
    • 298 Thanks
    Steerpike88
    Hey HSL! Just read through your diary. That's certainly an emotional roller-coaster. I'm pretty sure that I hate your ex worse than mine. I also know you love your DS1 and you really seem like an exceptional mother but how long does he expect you to pay his way? He has a job and he's earning. 100 pm isn't very much at all. I think you're wonderful and are doing a great job, don't second guess yourself.
    Debts: ASDA Loan - 6,848.01
    Xmas Fund: 15/700 2%; Holiday Fund: 256.05/2000 12.8%; Emergency Fund: 25/700 3.5%;
    VSP: 127.44/300 42.4%
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 6th Jan 20, 11:00 PM
    • 2,283 Posts
    • 12,157 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Hi Steerpike88, Thank you for your kind words. I think there are more battles ahead with DS1 re finances but happily DD1 & DD2 both seem completely fine with the concept of contributing towards the things that you use.

    Thank you Drawing a line & SH - I did eventually get to sleep last night and woke at 4.30 ish so just dozed until the alarm went off just before 5.30. Tonight I feel more tired from work, so hoping to get a full night .


    DD2 suddenly remembered at 10 this evening, that she had a fully iced Christmas cake in the boot of her car, that she had made at college. I think it's been there for the last 2 weeks but thankfully all wrapped up. She has cut me a slice to have with my late night cup of tea. It is certainly delicious, very rich and amply soaked in brandy ( I thought I was a bit heavy handed with the brandy, but not so!). If nothing else it should help me to sleep tonight.

    It's been quite a positive first day back to work. We got back at 6 and I made tuna plait for tea with jacket potatoes. I've tried to get ahead tomorrow by making the macaroni cheese tonight, so all that has to be done is to put it in the oven and heat up. The first one home tomorrow can get that started.
    Last edited by Honeysucklelou2; 07-01-2020 at 6:47 PM. Reason: Typos
    paydbx2020 #93 120.00/10,025 . 1 debt 100 days 34. 0/995
    EF 40. SPC 141

    # savings# 5 . Oven. 3/ 403 Health EF 0/250
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 7th Jan 20, 12:12 AM
    • 3,561 Posts
    • 22,970 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    An extra Christmas cake - what a lovely surprise! Can I borrow your DD please?
    MFW #30 Overpaid by 4,100.58/3000 in 2018
    Overpaid by 3,259.33/2,880.00 to 29/11/19
    Decluttered in 2019: 2,041/2,019 as of 21/10/19
    • jaydeejay
    • By jaydeejay 7th Jan 20, 11:03 AM
    • 39 Posts
    • 104 Thanks
    jaydeejay
    Re mediation, I think that you can be in a seperate room if you would feel more comfortable when going through the discussions/negotiations.



    JDJ
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 7th Jan 20, 6:50 PM
    • 2,283 Posts
    • 12,157 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Thank you JDJ, good to know.

    Will pluck up courage later to email the mediator and sort out an appointment time.

    Later back from work tonight with lots of jobs to do at home in preparation for work tomorrow. The holidays are feeling more like a distant memory . On the plus side limited spend for milk and lunch box food.

    Sadly little sleep again last night despite the brandy in the cake! Am hoping that it's just adjusting to work times again ...
    paydbx2020 #93 120.00/10,025 . 1 debt 100 days 34. 0/995
    EF 40. SPC 141

    # savings# 5 . Oven. 3/ 403 Health EF 0/250
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 7th Jan 20, 7:05 PM
    • 5,346 Posts
    • 48,128 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    I'm the same HSL - absolutely shattered and not sleeping at all. Hopefully we'll both be sleeping a lot better very soon.
    NST January #10 NSD = 10 Pay all your debt off by 2020 #56 832.98/10000
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 10th Jan 20, 8:44 PM
    • 2,283 Posts
    • 12,157 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Thank you CCL, finally got a decent night's sleep last night! That might have been due to getting some sea air in my lungs

    First working week has gone! By Wednesday it felt like we'd been back for weeks . I got in touch with the mediator and now have an appointment for the end of Feb. She could do one next week, but I couldn't make it with work times and to be honest, I could do with the time to put aside the fee needed to see the mediator. It's taken 3 years to get to this point, I guess a few more weeks won't make much difference.

    Yesterday DD2 and I happened to have the same day off so we took the opportunity to walk a small chunk of the coast path. It started off as a gloriously sunny morning but changed to become quite wet. It was so good to get out though, just to hear the sound of the waves and get some sea air . The sea was a wintery grey-green colour and a mass of foamy white nearest the sand. We were quite drenched on our return but refreshed . It's good to have time with each child whenever possible and walking together gives me chance to catch up with DD2.

    Today I've had chance to catch up with friends which has been relaxing. I made some cakes to take along and some for the children to eat on their return from school. I've menu planned very carefully for next week, so as to keep spending down as much as possible. Thankfully I was able to freeze a good chunk of the turkey crown from Christmas which can now be used for a pie and curry.
    Last edited by Honeysucklelou2; 10-01-2020 at 8:48 PM.
    paydbx2020 #93 120.00/10,025 . 1 debt 100 days 34. 0/995
    EF 40. SPC 141

    # savings# 5 . Oven. 3/ 403 Health EF 0/250
    • Steerpike88
    • By Steerpike88 11th Jan 20, 9:02 AM
    • 110 Posts
    • 298 Thanks
    Steerpike88
    Always amazed at how much you bake HSL you inspired me to make a crumble last night! I hope you make quick progress with the mediator
    Debts: ASDA Loan - 6,848.01
    Xmas Fund: 15/700 2%; Holiday Fund: 256.05/2000 12.8%; Emergency Fund: 25/700 3.5%;
    VSP: 127.44/300 42.4%
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 12th Jan 20, 3:31 PM
    • 2,283 Posts
    • 12,157 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Thank you Steerpike88 - glad to hear about the crumble! I count myself as blessed to have had 2 grandmothers who regularly baked and love baking myself. Haven't mastered scones yet though, but kind to keep trying . Made a batch of brownies yesterday, which quickly vanished and a couple of lime drizzle cakes. I ran out of lemons but had a net of limes left over from the Christmas shop. An interesting change .

    I've had a pleasant weekend so far. I got lots of work tasks done yesterday which helps with peace of mind today . The ex came round to see the children yesterday but I went out, which I have to say, really helped. DD2 had wanted to get out for a walk, so we went together. In our part of the world, we seem to have lots of public footpaths signs. Whenever I pass one I am always intrigued about where it leads and which other paths it connects to. Weird I know! Yesterday we decided to explore one such path that I have driven past for the last 20 years or so! We parked in a lay-by about 3 miles from home and went over the stile to explore. It was such a lovely walk! We went through 3 fields, then the walk took us along a hidden track before taking us along a stream. The sky was grey and overcast which made the green of the grass seem so vibrant. Just being outside for an hour or so made me feel so relaxed and better placed to deal with the ex.

    75 paid off a debt last night...it's going down slowly
    Last edited by Honeysucklelou2; 12-01-2020 at 3:39 PM.
    paydbx2020 #93 120.00/10,025 . 1 debt 100 days 34. 0/995
    EF 40. SPC 141

    # savings# 5 . Oven. 3/ 403 Health EF 0/250
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 12th Jan 20, 11:58 PM
    • 2,283 Posts
    • 12,157 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    I had the opportunity to go somewhere this afternoon but declined as I know I have diesel enough for work but an extra journey that wasn't strictly necessary would have compromised this. Instead I cheered myself up with a circular walk around the lanes, fields and public footpaths around the edge of the village. DS3 was happy to come along as he could test out his new wellies in the puddles ( bought in the Jan sales, essential as his old ones had split.) The elderly lurcher enjoyed the steady stroll.

    Turkey pie with roast potatoes and veg for tea and got a quick batch of vanilla muffins cooked, while the oven was on, ready for packed lunches tomorrow. I've tried to fold some clothes every time I've gone past the tumble dryer and been pleasantly surprised by how quickly the flow of clean laundry from tD to airing cupboard or drawers has gone .

    I had a little look at the We Buy Books website this evening and got a few books valued. If I can work out what to do next, I might be able to declutter a few books. There's no point them gathering dust.

    DD3 started a weekend job today. She's working at the same place as her sister and seemed to have enjoyed her first day. Good for building her confidence .

    Cancelled a direct debit for freezer insurance. I already have contents insurance and I reckon I could have bought a new freezer by now, if I'd saved the 4 a month.
    Last edited by Honeysucklelou2; 13-01-2020 at 12:45 AM.
    paydbx2020 #93 120.00/10,025 . 1 debt 100 days 34. 0/995
    EF 40. SPC 141

    # savings# 5 . Oven. 3/ 403 Health EF 0/250
    • lucielle
    • By lucielle 13th Jan 20, 8:11 AM
    • 8,267 Posts
    • 35,668 Thanks
    lucielle
    Well done on the payment and cancelling the DD. As the saying goes, every little helps.
    L
    Total Debt Dec 07 59875.83 Overdrafts 2900,New Debt Figure ZERO !!!!!! 08/06/2013
    Lucielle's Daring Debt Free Journey
    DFD Before we Die!!!! Long Haul Supporter #124
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 15th Jan 20, 12:05 AM
    • 2,283 Posts
    • 12,157 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Thank you Lucielle.

    Managed a NSD today, easy to achieve when there's nowt spare anywhere . Tomorrow I'm on a course. I thought I had a lift sorted with DD2 but she's had her week changed around, so now driving myself. I'm so glad I declined the extra journey on Sunday...it would have made this extra journey impossible.

    The last of the turkey crown was made into curry on Monday. Tonight has had to be quick and easy pasta. The last 2 nights I've got to bed by 10. Feel quite lazy but the extra rest made a noticeable difference this morning .
    paydbx2020 #93 120.00/10,025 . 1 debt 100 days 34. 0/995
    EF 40. SPC 141

    # savings# 5 . Oven. 3/ 403 Health EF 0/250
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 15th Jan 20, 7:11 PM
    • 2,283 Posts
    • 12,157 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    On a course today which was interesting. I was very thankful for blue skies and sunshine for the two hours of driving I had to do! I did spend a little on petrol just because I was concerned about getting too low.

    The course finished a little earlier than expected which meant I had a quick half an hour to get to the allotment and get some more chopping done . I think I've had a pheasant or two sheltering in the greenhouse that has 2 panes missing. The old pots have all been knocked down and I have seen a couple of pheasants scuttling away from the greenhouse as I have approached it. It's a job to add to the weekend to do list, cleaning and sweeping out the greenhouse. The lime basil seeds that I sowed on the 27th Dec have sprouted . The kitchen window sill seems to be suiting them at the moment.

    The ex is cooking for the children this evening so I' m sat elsewhere in the house. He was ranting at me for not putting the dishwasher on before I left for work. Usually I do but the logistics of getting everyone to school and getting myself to another ( further) part of the county before 9 meant it slipped my mind. Roll on the lighter evenings so I can walk.

    On a plus side DD2 got back early from her lecture and decided to make a huge chocolate cake. Delicious .
    Last edited by Honeysucklelou2; 15-01-2020 at 7:26 PM.
    paydbx2020 #93 120.00/10,025 . 1 debt 100 days 34. 0/995
    EF 40. SPC 141

    # savings# 5 . Oven. 3/ 403 Health EF 0/250
    • Sunshine girl2
    • By Sunshine girl2 15th Jan 20, 7:31 PM
    • 493 Posts
    • 3,113 Thanks
    Sunshine girl2
    I love reading your diary as you seem to cope with things so well, love hearing about your walks and your baking and cooking .

    Please can I punch your ex on the nose though for you. Tell him to get lost out of the house if he doesn't like things how they are . Have a good evening wherever you are holed up.
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 15th Jan 20, 7:42 PM
    • 2,283 Posts
    • 12,157 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Thank you Sunshine Girl2.

    Am waiting for the ex to go so I can get to the computer and get some work tasks done. The silver lining is that I've been able to catch up on diaries. I must confess I have found and consumed part of a Dairy Milk bar sent for Christmas. No diet here yet!
    Last edited by Honeysucklelou2; 15-01-2020 at 7:47 PM.
    paydbx2020 #93 120.00/10,025 . 1 debt 100 days 34. 0/995
    EF 40. SPC 141

    # savings# 5 . Oven. 3/ 403 Health EF 0/250
    • Sunshine girl2
    • By Sunshine girl2 15th Jan 20, 7:46 PM
    • 493 Posts
    • 3,113 Thanks
    Sunshine girl2
    Thank you Sunshine Girl2.

    Am waiting for the ex to go so I can to the computer and get some work tasks done. The silver lining is that I've been able to catch up on diaries.
    Originally posted by Honeysucklelou2
    Small things, hope you get your tasks done , and check he has filled the dishwasher before he goes or else
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 15th Jan 20, 10:09 PM
    • 3,155 Posts
    • 22,468 Thanks
    sashybo
    I have to agree with Sunshine girl - your ex has some nerve. You deserve a medal dealing with him and all his nonsense on top of everything else that you have to cope with (all of which is more important than his tantrums).

    Good news on getting to the allotment, looking forward to hearing about what you're growing this year. I have ordered some flower seeds as they were only 25p each from wilk0s - lobelia, dianthus and linaria. Still need to get some cucumber seeds though.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - 13,758 extra paid off debt.
    Total Debt paid off 63,932 Car loans 13,494.61 Garage conversion 7,012.
    EF started 01/09/19 170
    Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 16th Jan 20, 5:17 AM
    • 2,283 Posts
    • 12,157 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Thank you Sunshine Girl2 and Sashybo.

    I was given some seeds for Christmas which included some unusual ( possibly heritage?) varieties of tomato with delightful names such as "Pink Ponderosa". I'm looking forward to growing those in the greenhouse. I've got some sweet peas that I need to get sowing asap. I love snapdragons, sunflowers, calendulas and cornflowers, so hoping to grow lots of those! Other than that I'll concentrate on peas, beans, salad crops and beetroot. I'm hoping that the change in working hours will help me to keep on top of it more. I've found in the past, that I start well in March/April but then get deluged by work in May/June and the weeds take over. I need to take a bit of time to prune the soft fruit too, particularly the raspberries and look to net more this year.
    paydbx2020 #93 120.00/10,025 . 1 debt 100 days 34. 0/995
    EF 40. SPC 141

    # savings# 5 . Oven. 3/ 403 Health EF 0/250
    • savingholmes
    • By savingholmes 16th Jan 20, 9:39 PM
    • 10,211 Posts
    • 21,295 Thanks
    savingholmes
    I too think you cope amazingly well with your challenges. I too want to bop your ex on the nose!

    The walks, baking and garden plans all sound lovely. Cake... dreaming of cake... and crumble - I only eat the latter at my mum's.
    During 2020: Target 1) 25,121 to be repaid in 2020 (0%) Now down to 24,703 Target 2) repay 1450 off (OP 102.51) mortgage now 144872 @1.7% Target 3) Set up SIPPs Target 4) Declutter 52 bags - now done 4/52
    • Steerpike88
    • By Steerpike88 16th Jan 20, 10:01 PM
    • 110 Posts
    • 298 Thanks
    Steerpike88
    Your ex is honestly such a pain. What's wrong with him putting it on? He definately should be helping out, seeing as he sees fit to bathe there and use your computer while contributing nothing and not telling you were he lives. You could write a book on entitled exes. I'd definately bring it up during mediation. Well done on the basil seeds!
    Debts: ASDA Loan - 6,848.01
    Xmas Fund: 15/700 2%; Holiday Fund: 256.05/2000 12.8%; Emergency Fund: 25/700 3.5%;
    VSP: 127.44/300 42.4%
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