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    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 31st Dec 16, 4:05 AM
    • 1,064Posts
    • 4,942Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    From debt to freedom...
    • #1
    • 31st Dec 16, 4:05 AM
    From debt to freedom... 31st Dec 16 at 4:05 AM
    For a couple of months I have been lurking and reading diaries which have been helpful and inspiring. I thought that I would start a diary to keep myself focussed on getting rid of the debts.

    I am a working mum, recently separated from my husband. I have a large family which makes for an interesting and busy life! I have had a couple of LBMs in recent years and tried to stick to a budget. I had 2 loans totalling 17, 000 at one point. One loan was paid in Aug 2016 and the 2nd has just over 2,000 to go and is due to be paid off by August 2017.
    Other than that, I have a cc with a 475 balance, 2 home improvement loans ( for double glazing) that both have about 1700 outstanding. These have a horrible interest rate of 22%, so I'm eager to tackle these first.
Page 38
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 14th Sep 18, 6:51 AM
    • 1,064 Posts
    • 4,942 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    It's been a busy week at work, especially yesterday when extra meetings came up. I have a fair amount to do over this weekend, as I need to be work- free next weekend when I take DD1 back to university.
    I can't believe the time has gone so quickly. She's been home for 4 months, so we've got used to having her home. She has work right up to the day before we leave. That said she has a day off today which coincides with my day off so she wants us to go out for the day with the toddler, so I will get my NT card at the ready!

    DD1 has also put in a request for a dozen frozen portions of lasagne to take back with her, so looks like a fair amount of cooking is on the cards for this weekend too! Might do some red velvet cupcakes for her and freeze those too, after the success of freezing muffins last weekend.

    I spotted some elderberries at the allotment yesterday so must remember to go and pick those and the remainder of any blackberries.

    I went to the doctors yesterday and asked for suggestions on how to deal with the stomach churning feeling that happens primarily when issues with the ex arise or sometimes at work. I'm not looking for a tablet to fix everything but sensible suggestions to start off with. The doctor was helpful and suggested peppermint tea which I have drunk from time to time but will increase to daily. He also suggested making tea from fresh mint...have a whole bed of that at the allotment so that is easily done. Other than that he mentioned a couple of over the counter stomach remedies that I could try. I'll look at these options but he did say to go back if there's no improvement.

    Must sort out DS's transport today so that he is all set to start college next week. He is really looking forward to it
    paydbx #93 804.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 15th Sep 18, 8:48 AM
    • 1,064 Posts
    • 4,942 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    We had a lovely afternoon out yesterday...DD1 wanted to visit an aquarium for research purposes for her course. The toddler has never been to one before so was beside himself with excitement. There was one tank that had turtles in it, which he sat watching for quite a while, keeping up a cheerful monologue for the entire time . I researched the aquarium for opening times and discovered that if I paid for tickets online we could save 3, so I did that.

    I spent much of the morning on the phone trying to get through to DS's college to sort out transport. I tried 8 times, tried student services once and the finance office once. So frustrating! I sincerely hope the teaching is better than what I've seen, so far of the admin side.

    I plucked up courage to return some legal papers to the solicitor's office. I've been procrastinating after some unpleasant threats from the ex, but decided delaying was keeping us in limbo and not allowing anything to be sorted out.

    DD2 helped me to get to grips with the hedge in the rear garden. It's a biggish leylandi type hedge which has got quite tall. We trimmed it back and did as much of the top as we could reach. I'll have to give some thought about how to get to the unreachable parts.

    Busy day ahead...
    paydbx #93 804.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • Working Mum
    • By Working Mum 15th Sep 18, 9:17 AM
    • 240 Posts
    • 769 Thanks
    Working Mum
    Hey Honeysuckle,
    I read you diary and the ex who threatens resonated with me.
    I got divorced from a very angry guy a few years ago and he would threaten all sorts if he didn't get his own way on xyz......it became quite predictable.
    My strategy was one of visualising him as Rumpelstiltskin and striving to be emotionally detached from the situation.
    I never reacted to his messages or emails or solicitor letters immediately (unless the timescale was appropriate).I gave myself time to consider exactly what was being said and then decide on how to respond as was appropriate to me. Often the communication required little more than "thank you for letting me know"
    I imagined my kids reading my responses to his letters Tec so always wrote and re-wrote them until they were polite, unemotional and professional.
    I allowed myself a cry or a rant if something I had received was hurtful or untrue but I never ever shared that with him - I would simply responsible when I felt calm enough to do so. It is about wrestling control of the only thing I could control which is me!!
    I got counselling for the impact of getting divorced (he had an affair and was not very nice in the last year of our marriage) and myself on a path of being ex-H free without any regrets or shame about how I had behaved towards him.
    Have a great weekend
    ((Hugs))
    WM xx
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 15th Sep 18, 11:49 AM
    • 1,064 Posts
    • 4,942 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Hi Working Mum, thank you for your post. My ex does show all legal paperwork to the older children so I find myself second guessing every decision that I have to make. That is such a good suggestion to edit letters and also hold in mind that my children are likely to see them. A couple of people in RL who know of my situation have suggested attending a group that would help me fully get over aspects of the last few years but am hesitant at the moment because I have no time that is childfree and by the time bills have been paid, I'm not sure I can afford it yet, but I am keeping the idea of counselling in mind. Thanks for taking the time to post, really appreciated.
    paydbx #93 804.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 17th Sep 18, 12:52 AM
    • 1,064 Posts
    • 4,942 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Finally got most things ready for the new week ahead. It's been a busy day...Homemade pasties for tea, which always take a bit of time but the children all enjoy them. I picked 3lb of apples from the tree in the garden and made apple amber with them. Delicious!!!

    After doing lots of cleaning up after the puppies, I felt the need to get some sea air into my lungs, so we headed off to pick up DD1 from work a little early so that we could savour the beach. It is lovely at this time of year, not too cold and hardly anyone there on this particular beach. It wasn't a very long walk but very welcome.

    On our return I made 2 batches of brownies as DD1 wants to take them in to share on her last day of work. Made a batch of vanilla muffins for packed lunches ( the mini chocolate ones are all frozen, ready for Wednesday and Thursday.)

    At last I've been able to nail a NSD - hurray
    paydbx #93 804.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • Treadingonplaymobil
    • By Treadingonplaymobil 17th Sep 18, 5:16 AM
    • 1,694 Posts
    • 17,495 Thanks
    Treadingonplaymobil
    That sounds like an incredibly productive day, well done! I love going to the beach at this time of year too.
    67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed... The debt free diary of one family and their enormous debt
    LBM debt on 12th Feb 2017: 38,608 unsecured debt/20,000 parental loan/173,282 mortgage = 231,890
    debt on 1st Sept 2018: 12,221.27 unsecured debt/19,940 parental loan/191,003.72 mortgage = 223,165
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 18th Sep 18, 1:29 AM
    • 1,064 Posts
    • 4,942 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Monday proved to be a busy start to the week. I got home at 6.30, having had to visit Mr T's for milk and washing up liquid. It seems to have taken me all evening to get household things done, including collecting one DD from her school camp after feeling unwell, and getting cooking ingredients for DS2 who had forgotten about cooking tomorrow. Sadly not a NSD, but hoping for more this week.

    Did manage to cook some soup, so lunch is sorted out for the next day or two.
    paydbx #93 804.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 18th Sep 18, 9:50 PM
    • 1,064 Posts
    • 4,942 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Today was a NSD . That's 2 this month, hoping for more in the next week.

    The soup was tasty today. I had run out of onions so chopped up some spring /salad onions to see if that worked...it did! Homemade tuna plait for dinner, which enabled me to use up some grated cheese that was fresh but needed using up.
    paydbx #93 804.50/8,000.
    Loan 17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017. 2994 in Aug 18
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 19th Sep 18, 9:51 AM
    • 1,562 Posts
    • 7,499 Thanks
    MeandO
    It's always lovely to use ingredients that need using up and thus saving waste and pennies!

    Love the sound of the pasties (being from 'proper' pasty-country myself ). OH loves tuna too, so you have me wondering whether I can attempt a gluten free version with some GF pastry I have in the fridge.

    I too had the 'stomach churning' symptoms when going through the separation from my ex H and do still get it occasionally at times of extreme anxiety. It feels like I have a washing machine in my tummy! I can't really offer any remedies for it unfortunately, I wish I could, but knowing that it's the effect of stress and anxiety forces me to try and manage those feelings a bit more effectively if I can and then it usually subsides.

    Sending hugs HSL2 xx
    House repairs: 4320 3597.12 (722.88 saved)
    Mortgage Feb 2015: 102,000 Mortgage now: 74,999
    2018 mortgage OP's: 1585.78/1800
    Emergency Fund: 1000/5000
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