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    • MrsRogers
    • By MrsRogers 9th Oct 16, 8:13 PM
    • 596Posts
    • 2,859Thanks
    Gifts for family
    • #1
    • 9th Oct 16, 8:13 PM
    Gifts for family 9th Oct 16 at 8:13 PM
    Hi al,

    DH and I have been reviewing our finances and totter up on what we have been spending on gifts for family. We have cut back somewhat as we buy for both sets of parents, nieces, nephews & godchildren only.

    We have a budget for them but not sure if it's to little / excessive.
    We have no children of our own so feel if we cut to much people will think we are tight

    Each niece, nephew, god child gets 15 each per birthday & xmas (there are 9 in total so it mounts up)
    Each parent gets 40 per birthday & xmas. They ruin us so this one we don't mind.

    What do you all spend and any ideas on how to cut back.
    Goal - We want to be mortgages free

    I Quit Smoking March 2010
Page 1
    • SmlSave
    • By SmlSave 9th Oct 16, 8:19 PM
    • 4,699 Posts
    • 16,521 Thanks
    • #2
    • 9th Oct 16, 8:19 PM
    • #2
    • 9th Oct 16, 8:19 PM
    I guess I spend 10 each child but I generally get their presents in the sales.
    Boy Smllet born 23/06/2011 and Girl Smllet born 01/03/2014

    5 year challenge to pay off 20,000
    350 per month challenge
    • balletshoes
    • By balletshoes 9th Oct 16, 8:22 PM
    • 16,090 Posts
    • 41,069 Thanks
    • #3
    • 9th Oct 16, 8:22 PM
    • #3
    • 9th Oct 16, 8:22 PM
    are all your nieces, nephews and godchildren still children, ie still all in full time education?
    • babyblooz
    • By babyblooz 9th Oct 16, 8:24 PM
    • 1,085 Posts
    • 2,408 Thanks
    • #4
    • 9th Oct 16, 8:24 PM
    • #4
    • 9th Oct 16, 8:24 PM
    Ditto me for the sales. I like to look for good quality things at half price-ish then stash them away for Christmas. Buying them throughout the year also helps as I don't really notice the money that way.
    please play nicely children !
    • barbiedoll
    • By barbiedoll 9th Oct 16, 8:51 PM
    • 4,882 Posts
    • 13,415 Thanks
    • #5
    • 9th Oct 16, 8:51 PM
    • #5
    • 9th Oct 16, 8:51 PM
    There's nothing "tight" about having to budget for presents, if you don't have the cash, you shouldn't be spending it! And I'm sure that no-one in your family would think that anyway, most parents are grateful for any gifts for their children, most of us don't think about how much something cost. If it's in wrapping paper, it's all good!

    Places like Primark are good for little bits and pieces, especially if you have to buy for girls. And don't make the mistake of ensuring that every single present has to come to exactly 10 or 15 or whatever you budget for, sometimes a gift costing a couple of quid will be more gratefully received than an expensive one. My son's best ever gift was a plastic bow and arrow set, which cost me all of 50p, brand new!

    If you give cash, a tenner is fine. There's not a kid alive who doesn't get a bit of a thrill from seeing cash fall out of a birthday or Christmas card.

    Don't fret about it, if you can't afford 15 for everyone, then don't spend that. It's the thought that counts.
    "I may be many things but not being indiscreet isn't one of them"
    • Kynthia
    • By Kynthia 10th Oct 16, 7:40 AM
    • 5,133 Posts
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    • #6
    • 10th Oct 16, 7:40 AM
    • #6
    • 10th Oct 16, 7:40 AM
    Like others have said, if you are genuinely short of spare cash then only selfish people will think you are tight.

    Many families only buy for children under 18 years. 15 each is fine and if you make savings on some, perhaps the perfect gift for one is only 9 and some others you got in the sale or when argos/ELC does their 3 for 2 toy promotion, then you could keep the difference or use it to top up an older child's gift if something suitable for them is a little more.

    40 each for parents sounds plenty to me and more than I often spend despite being able to 'afford' more. My parents don't want me to spend more and get lots of gifts from their children, friends and a few siblings. I'm able to get nice things under that, perfume, clay pigeon shooting, books and pyjamas, afternoon tea,,theatre tickets, baking accessories, cinema tickets, etc. Plus at thst amount if join up with a couple of others you can get a group gift of up to 120 should you see something special. January and July sales are a fantastic time to stock up.
    Don't listen to me, I'm no expert!
    • Alikay
    • By Alikay 10th Oct 16, 10:28 AM
    • 4,766 Posts
    • 12,871 Thanks
    • #7
    • 10th Oct 16, 10:28 AM
    • #7
    • 10th Oct 16, 10:28 AM
    Even if you're not short of cash, your gifts seem generous to me. If you wanted or needed to cut back, I'd probably suggest making the Christmas presents to children something cheaper, or maybe a joint gift (like a DVD, board game or big tub of sweets) if any are siblings. It's also quite common to cut out presents when they reach 18 or so, and just send a card.
    • rach_k
    • By rach_k 10th Oct 16, 10:44 AM
    • 1,233 Posts
    • 2,101 Thanks
    • #8
    • 10th Oct 16, 10:44 AM
    • #8
    • 10th Oct 16, 10:44 AM
    Kids often surprise you with what they like best. My 7 year old recently asked me why they get normal and boring presents from us (e.g. Lego, books, board games, clothes, lovely dolls - nice things that they do enjoy!) when their friends get 'cool' stuff when we go to parties. For friends, I normally spend 10 or less and get something like a craft set (often a box with cheap packs of glitter etc from the supermarket), journal and pen or sticker books, so basically cheap stuff. I remember clearly my best ever Christmas present as a child - Father Christmas brought me a whole shop display box of plasticine. As a parent, I like to buy quality stuff for my own kids but I know that the presents that go down best are actually the cheaper/tackier ones.

    My kids are also really excited if they ever get money - a 5 or 10 note is worth more to them than a present for 20 because they get the excitement of thinking about what they might like to buy, going out to get it and then using it.
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 10th Oct 16, 11:06 AM
    • 10,530 Posts
    • 13,702 Thanks
    • #9
    • 10th Oct 16, 11:06 AM
    • #9
    • 10th Oct 16, 11:06 AM
    I also buy in January and in sales throughout the year. Already got my mum a chunky gold bracelet from Hobbs for 11 down from 39, and a bag from Ollie & Nic for 20 down from 69.

    Shop outlet stores (Accessorize and Next are good).

    Older kids are loving Lush stuff - try Bath Cosmetics instead - I got this lovely little set for a friend's daughter. I also won a book which I may give to her too =1-3&keywords=bomb+cosmetics

    Lots of book competitions on MSE at the mo - I've managed to win a few as they're often giving away several at a time and they tend to be low entry.

    Good luck

    2018 wins: Single Malt Whisky; theatre tickets; festival tickets; year of gin(!); shoes
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 10th Oct 16, 11:08 AM
    • 10,530 Posts
    • 13,702 Thanks
    Still some good deals on Ollie & Nic

    Couple of bags from 60 to 15 10% off first order.

    2018 wins: Single Malt Whisky; theatre tickets; festival tickets; year of gin(!); shoes
    • catkins
    • By catkins 10th Oct 16, 12:10 PM
    • 5,517 Posts
    • 11,738 Thanks
    I usually spend 20 on each of my siblings for their birthdays - don't buy for their OH's. For Christmas I spend 40 each and also buy for their OH's (spend 40 on them also).

    I spend the same for parents - 20 birthdays and 40 Christmas and for my nieces and nephews.

    When my nieces and nephews were younger I only spend 15 on their birthdays. They are all in their 20's now.

    I do try and shop around and buy Christmas presents all year round. If I see something reduced from say 30 to 20 I will often count that as 30 (depends how hard up I am each year)
    The world is over 4 billion years old and yet you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie
    • psychopathbabble
    • By psychopathbabble 10th Oct 16, 1:05 PM
    • 5,860 Posts
    • 38,828 Thanks
    We tend to spend/give 10 to our godchildren and their siblings for birthdays and christmas, as we have a lot of children we spend time with and it would just get ridiculous if we spent more than that.

    My DHs brother and sister and their partners, we now do a secret santa between the 6 of us which is 20 per person. His parents, we don't spend a set amount on, it just depends on what we can think of to get them. We will have had our baby by christmas, and so will my SIL, so it'll be a bit different in future years!

    Became Mrs Scotland 16.01.16 Became homeowners 26.02.16 Baby girl arrived 27.10.16

    Debt Paid = 5704.30/12,185.99 (46%paid off)
    • MrsRogers
    • By MrsRogers 10th Oct 16, 1:35 PM
    • 596 Posts
    • 2,859 Thanks
    Thanks everyone for your responses you have given me a lot to think about
    Goal - We want to be mortgages free

    I Quit Smoking March 2010
    • Person_one
    • By Person_one 10th Oct 16, 1:41 PM
    • 26,968 Posts
    • 92,392 Thanks
    Just a quick tip for present buying on a budget, I do surveys all year round and get Amazon vouchers as rewards, by Christmas they've added up to a fair amount (easily over 100, once nearly 200) and go towards my present budget. The best sites are Pinecone and Ipsos.
    • .Gigolo Aunt
    • By .Gigolo Aunt 10th Oct 16, 2:25 PM
    • 181 Posts
    • 243 Thanks
    .Gigolo Aunt
    Roughly 10-15 for a child, a little more for adults. I don't go over the top. I'd rather get them something that's had a bit of thought go into it than a more pricey gift that they may not like and will get thrown into the back of the cupboard or charity-shopped.

    Many adults don't buy presents for each other for Christmas now, as they've pretty much got everything they need and most of what they want already!
    • maman
    • By maman 10th Oct 16, 2:39 PM
    • 17,932 Posts
    • 107,336 Thanks
    Roughly 10-15 for a child, a little more for adults. I don't go over the top. I'd rather get them something that's had a bit of thought go into it than a more pricey gift that they may not like and will get thrown into the back of the cupboard or charity-shopped.

    Many adults don't buy presents for each other for Christmas now, as they've pretty much got everything they need and most of what they want already!
    Originally posted by .Gigolo Aunt

    Interestingly, Martin was on the radio earlier talking about just this subject.

    His theme was the stress, both emotional and financial, that people put themselves under with reciprocal gift buying.

    In our immediate family we decided not to give to adults any more so just our two DGDs get presents at Christmas. It was DD1's idea as there's nothing she hates more than 'stuff'. Both our DDs have birthdays just before Christmas so we treat them then.

    Outside immediate family we give money to some children (great nieces and nephews) and a token gift to a couple of friends that we meet up with for a festive meal. Last year it was a Lidl's Stollen each to show my Waitrose shopping friends that they should think outside the box. My DD2 is a bit of a shopaholic so I think she still chooses to buy for the world and his wife. She also has in-laws that are a bit cash strapped so look forward to a treat.

    I think OP should stop or cut back if she's having financial hardship buying the gifts that she does. No gift is worth that.

    Personally I hate 'stuff' too and there's far too much of that in the shops at Christmas IMO so I'm happy to go without gifts but if other people get pleasure from the shopping and the giving and they can afford it then each to his own.
    • .Gigolo Aunt
    • By .Gigolo Aunt 10th Oct 16, 3:04 PM
    • 181 Posts
    • 243 Thanks
    .Gigolo Aunt
    Another thing, I know you don't give in order to receive, but it can work out expensive and unfair if for example you buy for the son, daughter, mum and dad separately, but they give you one present from all of them!
    • kingfisherblue
    • By kingfisherblue 10th Oct 16, 9:16 PM
    • 7,711 Posts
    • 16,837 Thanks
    I spend about 20-30 on my mum, with presents bought all year round, usually in sales.

    20 cash each for my niece and nephew.

    My granddaughter will have about 30 spent on her, but mainly clothes bought in the sales. I've bought a couple of other bits in the sales as well, such as summer toys (her birthday is 23rd December!) She's only 21 months, so she doesn't understand anything about Christmas yet.

    Great nephews 10 each on clothes or books in the sales.

    My own kids have a bit more spent on them, but again I buy throughout the year and in sales wherever possible.

    Books make good presents, and The Book People have some great bargains. If you want to cut your budget further, think about buying your nieces, nephews and godchildren a decent book or a collection from them. Collections are often only around the 10 mark, and discounts are available relatively frequently.

    For older nieces, places like Tesco and Boots have some lovely costume jewellery for less than 10.
    • scaredlady
    • By scaredlady 11th Oct 16, 8:36 AM
    • 129 Posts
    • 134 Thanks
    A few years ago our mum decided Christmas and birthdays for all of children/grandchildren/great grandchildren had all got a bit too much, so no more pressies from her.
    We had already cut right back on pressies between the siblings. Then as people moved managing to exchange before Christmas got more problematic. So eventually that stopped.
    No giving or receiving gifts at all now. Do I miss, no..if I want to give someone something I do it there and then, not when the world tells me to.
    It is not always the giving, maybe there are others in the family who would like to cut back, but are also worried about others will think.
    Contact family and say this is increasing difficult can we have a cut back.
    When you read about the financial trouble people get themselves into at Christmas you think is it worth its no really. Its only stuff..and what good is stuff....
    Maybe think outside the box and see if you can do something for babysitting for a month or something..if you get my drift.
    We seem to spend half of Christmas in church anyway (that's just us, and Christmas is really that-isn't it).
    When I used to work a collegue would always get her children the latest things for pressies. Get up early on Christmas morning. Open then...then got bored for the rest of the day.
    • SuzieSue
    • By SuzieSue 11th Oct 16, 7:39 PM
    • 3,822 Posts
    • 4,044 Thanks
    When I was in my early 20s I told everyone that I did not want any presents and that I would not be buying anyone any presents.

    The only exception is if I am invited to a wedding.
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