Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

    • suejb2
    • By suejb2 7th Oct 16, 10:44 AM
    • 1,370Posts
    • 2,106Thanks
    Which one are you?
    • #1
    • 7th Oct 16, 10:44 AM
    Which one are you? 7th Oct 16 at 10:44 AM
    A bit of fun Friday. Good cop Bad cop.
    Taken from another thread regarding teenagers Dig for victory made a comment that she (I think) is the Bad cop.
    In our house I'm the Bad cop and dad is the Good cop.

    What are the dynamics in your family please?
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
Page 1
    • paddy's mum
    • By paddy's mum 7th Oct 16, 11:57 AM
    • 3,518 Posts
    • 12,682 Thanks
    paddy's mum
    • #2
    • 7th Oct 16, 11:57 AM
    • #2
    • 7th Oct 16, 11:57 AM
    My former husband without fail made me out to be the bad cop. His avowed aim was that he wanted to be 'their friend'.

    For most of their young lives, it worked and he was the popular one while I was viewed as the ogre who made them be clean, truthful, fair, honest.

    It backfired when they became parents themselves though as it's not now too-laid-back (for which read slightly idle!) Dad they turn to when the going gets tough - it's feet on the ground, sensible and supportive Bad Cop Mum.

    Ho hum, funny old world, innit?
    • maman
    • By maman 7th Oct 16, 12:33 PM
    • 17,897 Posts
    • 107,148 Thanks
    • #3
    • 7th Oct 16, 12:33 PM
    • #3
    • 7th Oct 16, 12:33 PM
    DDs are grown up now but I was definitely 'bad cop'.

    I've never been one of those 'wait until your father gets home' sort of women. I'd use a firm 'no' while DH would start from 'do you think this is reasonable?'.

    DH was always called to remove spiders because if they asked me I'd not only remove them but give them an earful about being wimps.
    • CuppaTea
    • By CuppaTea 7th Oct 16, 12:39 PM
    • 805 Posts
    • 6,079 Thanks
    • #4
    • 7th Oct 16, 12:39 PM
    • #4
    • 7th Oct 16, 12:39 PM
    I have to be both, but I don't mind, they know I'm fair, firm but always ready for a cuddle.
    Last edited by CuppaTea; 07-10-2016 at 2:35 PM.
    I'm dealing with stuff.
    • Judi
    • By Judi 7th Oct 16, 1:39 PM
    • 16,097 Posts
    • 69,943 Thanks
    • #5
    • 7th Oct 16, 1:39 PM
    • #5
    • 7th Oct 16, 1:39 PM
    i'm the good cop. Hubby is the bad cop.
    'Holy crap on a cracker!'
    • OldMotherTucker
    • By OldMotherTucker 7th Oct 16, 2:21 PM
    • 7,555 Posts
    • 16,777 Thanks
    • #6
    • 7th Oct 16, 2:21 PM
    • #6
    • 7th Oct 16, 2:21 PM
    I'm sole cop!! It's all down to me!!

    It's a !!!! job!! Judge all you like!!
    Should have joined
    • Oakdene
    • By Oakdene 7th Oct 16, 2:22 PM
    • 1,926 Posts
    • 7,080 Thanks
    • #7
    • 7th Oct 16, 2:22 PM
    • #7
    • 7th Oct 16, 2:22 PM
    As a single dad Im both good cop & bad cop...
  • archived user
    • #8
    • 7th Oct 16, 3:27 PM
    • #8
    • 7th Oct 16, 3:27 PM
    I'm the good cop but i so want to be the bad cop
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 7th Oct 16, 3:40 PM
    • 5,752 Posts
    • 13,195 Thanks
    • #9
    • 7th Oct 16, 3:40 PM
    • #9
    • 7th Oct 16, 3:40 PM
    I'm the good cop but i so want to be the bad cop
    Originally posted by Spinkz
    I shall send you a baton spinkzy
    • Lily-Rose
    • By Lily-Rose 7th Oct 16, 6:44 PM
    • 2,276 Posts
    • 7,201 Thanks
    Good cop (most of the time.) In the 3 years that she was at uni, and she wanted something (like a lift or some money!) our daughter would ring home. If her dad answered, she would say 'is mom there?' Then she would say 'ummmm, I hate to ask but....... : ) Knowing I would be more likely to say yes

    Also, he was the one who scolded her when she was naughty, whchc to be fair, wasn't that often.
    Proud to have lost over 3 stone (45 pounds,) in the past year! Now a size 14!

    You're not singing anymore........ You're not singing any-more!
    • pipkin71
    • By pipkin71 7th Oct 16, 7:04 PM
    • 19,328 Posts
    • 86,894 Thanks
    As a single parent I had to take on both roles. Not always pleasant when it was bad cop, quite difficult at times but then good cop balanced things out.
    There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you - Beatrix Potter
    • Dill
    • By Dill 7th Oct 16, 7:31 PM
    • 1,655 Posts
    • 3,131 Thanks
    I've never felt the slightest inclination to 'police' anybody. Luckily I'm not a parent or teacher
    • fab n funky mum
    • By fab n funky mum 7th Oct 16, 10:03 PM
    • 337 Posts
    • 627 Thanks
    fab n funky mum
    I am Bad, Bad, Bad Cop to cats, children and hubby. He is 'ask your Mum Cop' :-(
    I have side roles as Washing Fairy, live-in House Elf and Celestial Provider of the Delicious Foodstuffs!
    I love to paint faces ... and canvases and bags and shoes...
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 8th Oct 16, 9:30 AM
    • 23,921 Posts
    • 62,333 Thanks
    Oh, landed with bad cop, always. OH would chunner but not tackle either of them , especially his little girl!
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 8th Oct 16, 11:00 AM
    • 3,291 Posts
    • 3,507 Thanks
    My Dad was bad cop but towards me not my younger sister.

    When I saw this happen to my nephew a few months ago but not his sister, I exploded in a full rage in his face and grabbed him by the arm. He texted me next day to say sorry he won't do it again to my nephew without knowing full facts (he was upstairs and came downstairs). Any I didn't speak to him for about 2 weeks.

    All good now though.
    • ThomasMJacobs
    • By ThomasMJacobs 14th Oct 16, 11:42 AM
    • 15 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    I am a bit of both!
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 14th Oct 16, 9:15 PM
    • 20,140 Posts
    • 33,324 Thanks
    Totally and utterly depends on the situation so we are both interchangeably. DH works away each week, and on those occasions kids are far more likely to play me up and not want him to know about it if he rings.
    On the other hand I cannot bear them forgetting stuff or being disorganised so they will go to Dad to admit they've lost/broken/forgotten something who will be a lot kinder about it than myself.
    • AylesburyDuck
    • By AylesburyDuck 14th Oct 16, 10:23 PM
    • 769 Posts
    • 1,801 Thanks
    Both myself and OH are far too unpredictable, they never know which cop they are going to get.
    Keeps them on their toes.
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
    • determined new ms
    • By determined new ms 14th Oct 16, 10:37 PM
    • 6,830 Posts
    • 39,986 Thanks
    determined new ms
    I don't think there is a good/cop bad cop in our house. Our lo isn't our biological child, she is a family member's who has mh issues. We are very conscious she went through stuff in her first year and her situation is more complex than other's her age so we go very easy on her, but she is an exceptionally easy child so it's no problem. She is 3 1/2 yrs.

    Me and my oh have very different relationships with her. He is very playful with her all of the time. She and I have a much more loving and affectionate relationship, we spend a lot of time reading, doing crafts, baking, talking, being in nature (I work p/t 2 1/2 days a week, he works f/t). While he and she will have elaborate play sessions and it is always off the wall and they are totally immersed in it. If she is hurt or upset I'm the one she looks to for comfort.

    I am much more of a disciplinarian and am stricter than he is, but I think I am more controlled about it and don't let her strong emotions get the better of mine which sometimes I think he does. I'm sure he thinks differently!
    Last edited by determined new ms; 15-10-2016 at 7:19 AM.
    DF as at 30/12/16
    Wombling 2017 3016.55/Roadkill 8.73
    Wombling 2018 145.73/RK 0.04
    • pollyanna24
    • By pollyanna24 14th Oct 16, 11:13 PM
    • 3,788 Posts
    • 4,638 Thanks
    I'm a single mum to 2 girls who see their dad a lot.

    I am most definitely the good cop. Their dad is very strict and they let me know the things they aren't allowed to do at his.

    I'm more lenient, 1. cos they're good kids and 2. cos I have them 86% of the time, so maybe go for an easy life.

    The few examples that they tell me about are:-


    As long as they eat some (and cos they are with me most of the time, I know what they like), they can have pudding.

    Him - They have to eat everything (he puts down stuff I (and he) know they hate. Whilst I'm all of "children should eat what they are given, there's a bit of give and take).


    My (very almost) 8 year old would prefer to wear a crop top to school (she has a male teacher and they have to change in the classroom for PE), but she takes it off every time she sees her dad (we have a reminder set on my phone) as he thinks she is too young for it. So to avoid an argument between him and her... him and me.... and so he doesn't know about it.
    Pink Sproglettes born 2008 and 2010
    House Worth (approx) - 400,000
    Mortgages (3rd Nov 2017) - 180,813.85
    Equity - 219,186.15
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

90Posts Today

1,272Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • It's the start of mini MSE's half term. In order to be the best daddy possible, Im stopping work and going off line?

  • RT @shellsince1982: @MartinSLewis thanx to your email I have just saved myself £222 by taking a SIM only deal for £7.50 a month and keeping?

  • Today's Friday twitter poll: An important question, building on yesterday's important discussions: Which is the best bit of the pizza...

  • Follow Martin