It's really hard

[Deleted User] · 10 October 2016 at 1:55PM

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enjoyyourshoes · 10 October 2016 at 2:08PM

1.0 Reconcile you bank account daily ensuring you don't spend more than you have and avoid OD like the plague

2.0 Save for items and don't buy on 'tick' (sofa for instance). Put savings as a monthly 'cost' on bank reconciliation and stuff initiate highest possible apr account you can find

3.0 Don't take out loan to pay off all you other loans, its not worth it. So have a different saving strategy in the future.

4.0 Make sandwiches for kids school dinners and not pay. make from scratch your own evening meals and your own lunches.

5.0 Food shopping, have list and meal plan and stick to it. Avoid 'the little extras' that are costing you a fortune.

6.0 Don't go to the birthday parties, or be selective. Buy just a card or even better get kids to make their own. Don't buy pressies, that is not why the kids are being invited, or if it is, don't go !

7.0 Pay off your debts with as much none sent money each month as you possibly can. You will be paying compound interest if you only pay CC minimum and bank OD with charges and admin fees are crippling you.

8.0 Get self and partner together to agree plan of attack, what your GOAL is financially, how you can save spending day to day, week to week, month to month, what you will do with this saved monies (pay off debt, highest are first etc), stop sieve effect (booze, fags, mags, lotto, TV subscription, mobile phone tariffs, extended warranties , paying for insurance monthly not annually etc etc

Hayley33 · 10 October 2016 at 9:32PM

This is my SOA.

My income partime £870.
I pay out £435 (bills) £12.50 (phone) £18.00 insurance and £35 per month petrol, and at the moment I save £50 for Christmas.
The rest then is spending money.

Believe it or not, I am pretty good at organising things,I always look around for good deals when I'm buying things, always organise the food shopping etc, I know I've taken out loans in the past etc but they've all always been paid etc,as it will be this time.

The advice I'm really looking for is building up a savings pit.

With regards to kids parties etc I have to give a gift as they always provide a gift for my LO, I do a mix of home packed food as school dinners I don't spend to much, my sofa and my car packed up at the same time my previous sofa I did pay cash for, I don't mind too much it's interest free and it's lovely.

I still can't find any diaries only threads.

EssexHebridean · 10 October 2016 at 10:31PM

The diaries are threads - there's nothing different about them and they'll fall within those lists of threads started by a user.

If that "SOA" is accurate then great - you have £319 a month. To build up savings, allocate £25 a week to yourself - less if you think you can manage on it - and save the rest. That'll total up to roughly £2,400 over a year. From the figures you're telling us, it really is that simple.

Of course if it IS accurate, you'd have that money anyway, wouldn't you. If you're seriously saying you have nothing left by the end of the month, though, that means you're spending out nearly 4k a year without having ANY idea what on. If it were me, I'd be a bit alarmed by that.

Hayley33 · 11 October 2016 at 10:55AM

This is my first month of being out of my overdraft as we put the 3 year loan in place. So I do have the money.
I know you are right. What I'm going to do is I'm going to give myself £150 when there's morn much on and try to save the other £150 plus I've hidden my credit card it's empty so I can't go impulsively buying. In November, I'm
Not spending much at all ready for the build up to the crazy month of December/Christmas. I was thinking of giving myself just £100 for that month. This month there's half term now when we'll do the cinema and a few bits, my sisters birthday and a weekend away. But you can't have it all and if you want to save you have to cut back a bit.

MrsTinks · 11 October 2016 at 12:08PM

Call the credit card company and get them to lower your limit to say £1000 for an emergency scenario - that way it can't sneak up again. Ideally cancel it.

Ditto your over draft.

Do a full SOA - break down those "bills". I feel like you're listening but not really hearing what people are telling you.

Ultimately it's absolutely up to you how you wish to proceed, but the people here are giving you some very good advice. Have you started your spending diary yet?

I'm not saying hardcore DFW is the only way - I'm unique too in my own way because my partner earns VERY well so my debt kind of fluctuates a little... And I could clear it all if I cashed in my immediate assets. It's all 0% and actually a chunk of it is investments. My assets can be realized very quickly and without harping on it's a very considered set of investments. I choose to count them as debts because they are...

So, we're not saying one hat fits all here. HOWEVER I also agree that you haven't QUITE accepted that your situation is that you fritter away money potentially that could go towards repaying your debt earlier.

Without a full SOA it's near impossible to tell you where you might be able to easily make savings... Like school meals - does your LO one qualify for free ones? Mine no longer does so she has meals a few days a week and packed the rest because it's not cheap and I'll only cough up if she's going to eat it!!!
It's far easier for me as I work full time (and some!) - if you work part time I would suggest that you probably have the time to pack them

Birthdays - There are only so many in a year - I have a birthday present cupboard which I keep stocked with generic presents for these events, like Hobbycraft has one of the build a bears on offer at the moment for £8... Tesco had a Frozen baking set on sale from £10 to £4 a few months ago. Throw in a £1 frozen cupcake pack and tadaaaaaa £5 present for a girls party and no-one would ever know!

Make a list now for Christmas on who needs cards and presents and set a strict budget!

EssexHebridean · 11 October 2016 at 12:20PM

That's a great idea on the present cupboard for kids parties Mrs Tinks - Poundland can be great for goodies like that too - you need to be selective about what you buy but there are some bargains to be found.

Hayley - Mrs T is right about the OD - if you're serious about not wanting to go back into it then the easiest way to do this is to cancel it altogether. It can be done with one quick phone call to your bank. You know you have the money spare - you just need to learn to budget with it. Until you both accept that, and commit to the learning process though, things aren't going to get any "easier"

For me - and for others on here - it does appear "easy" - but "easy" usually relates directly back to a lot of hard work and making sacrifices to get to that point. In our case our "debt" at it's highest was around £110k I think - with £103k of that being the mortgage. How many people do you know who, if they were asked "how much debt do you have?" would include their mortgage in there? It's like Mrs T said though - we chose to think of it that way, and we chose to get it paid off as soon as we could. Paying it off 12 years early has saved us around £35k in interest, and we're now living without owing a penny to anyone at all. That wasn't "luck" though - that was hard work.

Only you can make the decision as to what you really want - to remove yourself from a 5 year-plus cycle of debt and consolidation? Or to SAY that you want to remove yourself from it but then decide it's too hard and walk away again. Sorry to be blunt, but you need to think hard about what you want, and how you can get there. It doesn't just fix itself - there are no easy answers. This is why I suggested you look back over your old threads as this will show you how your pattern is repeating itself.

MrsTinks · 11 October 2016 at 12:53PM

I'm in still in awe that you're MF Essex

That's a super achievement and one I shall be aiming for!

The present cupboard was my solution to repeatedly forgetting about parties and having to buy weird stuff on the way there LOL Now I usually have a stash of no less than 4 to choose from. Ditto cards - I try to have a few cute and fluffy ones and a few super hero ones so I can just grab and run LOL

It DOES mean budgeting for it is way simpler too - and After Christmas I pick up cards for next year for pennies and the kids don't care if it's last years cards - most of the time the super markets re-use designs anyway!

EssexHebridean · 11 October 2016 at 1:02PM

MrsTinks wrote: »

I'm in still in awe that you're MF Essex That's a super achievement and one I shall be aiming for!

The present cupboard was my solution to repeatedly forgetting about parties and having to buy weird stuff on the way there LOL Now I usually have a stash of no less than 4 to choose from. Ditto cards - I try to have a few cute and fluffy ones and a few super hero ones so I can just grab and run LOL

It DOES mean budgeting for it is way simpler too - and After Christmas I pick up cards for next year for pennies and the kids don't care if it's last years cards - most of the time the super markets re-use designs anyway!

Thanks Mrs T - I'm still stupidly excited but not sure it'll 100% hit home until I actually see the Land Registry entries showing the charge has gone off the title! :j

We always buy Christmas cards in the sales after christmas as well - AND wrapping paper, and tags too! :T As for birthday cards - market stalls are worth keeping an eye on too as they sometimes have those boxes of 10 cards with a theme and just a generic "Happy Birthday" message. Home Bargains are also brilliant for cards - dirt cheap, reasonable quality and well worth a look if you have one locally. I usually have a stash of those kicking around ready.

Hayley33 · 11 October 2016 at 9:29PM

MrsTinks wrote: »

Call the credit card company and get them to lower your limit to say £1000 for an emergency scenario - that way it can't sneak up again. Ideally cancel it.

Ditto your over draft.

Do a full SOA - break down those "bills". I feel like you're listening but not really hearing what people are telling you.

Ultimately it's absolutely up to you how you wish to proceed, but the people here are giving you some very good advice. Have you started your spending diary yet?

I'm not saying hardcore DFW is the only way - I'm unique too in my own way because my partner earns VERY well so my debt kind of fluctuates a little... And I could clear it all if I cashed in my immediate assets. It's all 0% and actually a chunk of it is investments. My assets can be realized very quickly and without harping on it's a very considered set of investments. I choose to count them as debts because they are...

So, we're not saying one hat fits all here. HOWEVER I also agree that you haven't QUITE accepted that your situation is that you fritter away money potentially that could go towards repaying your debt earlier.

Without a full SOA it's near impossible to tell you where you might be able to easily make savings... Like school meals - does your LO one qualify for free ones? Mine no longer does so she has meals a few days a week and packed the rest because it's not cheap and I'll only cough up if she's going to eat it!!!
It's far easier for me as I work full time (and some!) - if you work part time I would suggest that you probably have the time to pack them

Birthdays - There are only so many in a year - I have a birthday present cupboard which I keep stocked with generic presents for these events, like Hobbycraft has one of the build a bears on offer at the moment for £8... Tesco had a Frozen baking set on sale from £10 to £4 a few months ago. Throw in a £1 frozen cupcake pack and tadaaaaaa £5 present for a girls party and no-one would ever know!

Make a list now for Christmas on who needs cards and presents and set a strict budget!

Thanks

. I do packed lunches and dinners a mixture of both as you said. I also do look for bargains for parties as well, stocked up on a frozen purse and jewellery from £6 to a £1 so they're there ready. Some children then I give £5 in a card if I haven't got anything in. I do plan to make a Christmas list and I've also saved up money for this which I'll get out in November so no worries there :rotfl:

It's really hard

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