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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 1,444Posts
    • 5,447Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 82
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 30th Oct 18, 7:38 AM
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    debtaghh
    Thanks enthusiastic. You're right about several points.

    I'm feeling more dedicated ... just hope it lasts!
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 30th Oct 18, 7:39 AM
    • 7,284 Posts
    • 15,995 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Me and my mum do feel the cold... think we must have circulation issues. Both covered in layers and freezing even with the heating on.
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    My DH and DD1 are the same. Exercise helps and warm drinks although of course boiling a kettle constantly is counter productive if you are trying to keep costs low. How about going over your mums house instead and using her heating?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 30th Oct 18, 7:46 AM
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    debtaghh
    I hardly go to my mum's . I've been once this year. My parents aren't very hospitable. They never have food in and make it a nightmare if you go around. The one time I did go this year there wasn't even milk.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 30th Oct 18, 7:59 AM
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    • 15,995 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I hardly go to my mum's . I've been once this year. My parents aren't very hospitable. They never have food in and make it a nightmare if you go around. The one time I did go this year there wasn't even milk.
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    Do you like having them over to yours? If not maybe don't be afraid to be less hospitable like not turning the heaters on to keep your mum happy.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 30th Oct 18, 8:01 AM
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    debtaghh
    I don't mind but have moaned that I can't go bankrupt for them
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 30th Oct 18, 8:11 AM
    • 6,559 Posts
    • 24,653 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Morning lovely,

    Hope you're feeling a bit better about things today?

    Always here if you want a moan xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: 5660.00 Lloyds: 9878.75 BC: GONE Cap One: GONE
    OD 0/500 LC 371.25/1500 Washer PAID
    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD 7219.86/7000
    Savings for Christmas 385.36/400
    20p Savers 2018 2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 12 2019 #003
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 30th Oct 18, 8:15 AM
    • 1,444 Posts
    • 5,447 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks purple.

    I'm feeling a lot better thanks... might have something to do with being off work
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 30th Oct 18, 8:16 AM
    • 6,559 Posts
    • 24,653 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Thanks purple.

    I'm feeling a lot better thanks... might have something to do with being off work
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    I love being off work...shame that I can't do it permanently
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: 5660.00 Lloyds: 9878.75 BC: GONE Cap One: GONE
    OD 0/500 LC 371.25/1500 Washer PAID
    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD 7219.86/7000
    Savings for Christmas 385.36/400
    20p Savers 2018 2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 12 2019 #003
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 30th Oct 18, 8:23 AM
    • 1,444 Posts
    • 5,447 Thanks
    debtaghh
    [QUOTE=Purplemumof2;74981184]I love being off work...shame that I can't do it permanently [/QUOTE
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 3rd Nov 18, 6:54 AM
    • 1,444 Posts
    • 5,447 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I've had quite a productive week at home with getting jobs done that have been on my list for far too long. With regards to the work front it's been hinted that I ask too many questions. I am a natural worrier and do ask lots of questions but in all fairness my role has developed and I have taken on new responsibilities and not properly been shown what to do. I feel I can't win, if I don't ask then I could do it wrong but if I do ask I get criticised. Not really sure what the answer is.

    I am really proud of myself for how well I'm doing mentally. This time last year there would have been no way I could have started a job. I'm going to keep focussing on that.

    Off to do some Christmas shopping today

    Have a lovely weekend.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 3rd Nov 18, 7:27 AM
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    • 15,995 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Sounds like you have been busy and you should be really proud of how far you have come. Working after being out of the workplace for a long time must be tough and I am guessing lack of confidence is why you worry a lot and ask lots of questions. That will get better with time and personally I would have thought asking questions to check rather than make mistakes is better so I would carry on as you are.

    Do you take notes? I used to find with one of the positions I held with lots of varied responsibilities, some of which were not done regularly I found it helpful to make notes on my PC on first doing them to remind me of things to check when doing them next time. Otherwise if it was a few months before doing that particular task again I would forget if not doing all the time. I just used to refer to those before tackling it next time rather than ask a colleague.

    I can't believe it is Christmas shopping time again but I guess it is now November. I have done nothing. I am decorating our kitchen today as we are having a new one installed at the moment. Enjoy your shopping. My advice is go armed with a list and stick to a budget rather than just pick things up. Also have an idea what to get and check prices online first.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 3rd Nov 18, 7:32 AM
    • 1,444 Posts
    • 5,447 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Sounds like you have been busy and you should be really proud of how far you have come. Working after being out of the workplace for a long time must be tough and I am guessing lack of confidence is why you worry a lot and ask lots of questions. That will get better with time and personally I would have thought asking questions to check rather than make mistakes is better so I would carry on as you are.

    Do you take notes? I used to find with one of the positions I held with lots of varied responsibilities, some of which were not done regularly I found it helpful to make notes on my PC on first doing them to remind me of things to check when doing them next time. Otherwise if it was a few months before doing that particular task again I would forget if not doing all the time. I just used to refer to those before tackling it next time rather than ask a colleague.

    I can't believe it is Christmas shopping time again but I guess it is now November. I have done nothing. I am decorating our kitchen today as we are having a new one installed at the moment. Enjoy your shopping. My advice is go armed with a list and stick to a budget rather than just pick things up. Also have an idea what to get and check prices online first.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    My thoughts are the same about asking questions rather than making mistakes. I do think my confidence is the issue but hopefully in time it will improve. I'm a note taker so have lots of notes even about the simplest of tasks.

    I have my shopping list ready and have done internet research. I also benefited yesterday from the topcashback deal of 3 back plus I was buying from a shop that was giving 20% cash back. My dd had chosen some bits from there for Xmas so I spent 24 but am getting 7 back... not bad.

    How exciting getting a new kitchen, bet you can't wait until it's completed!
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Nov 18, 9:48 PM
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    • 5,447 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hi,

    I can't believe it's been a week since I last posted! I have done quite a lot of Xmas shopping. Lots of spending in general.
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