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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 1,381Posts
    • 5,198Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 75
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 6th Aug 18, 8:41 AM
    • 1,381 Posts
    • 5,198 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    Meeting us with my son's friends this week but we are going to the park and bringing picnics with us.

    I have made another payment off the Nuba as I hadn't realised something had come out of my account already that I had allocated money for.

    My aim by the end of August is to get my cc balance under the £46k mark. Which means me overpaying the minimums by £200.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £45,909 , Family £ 36,982 total debt £82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- £3500 /£3900, DH Tesco £4299, my Tesco - £5390/£5510, total £13189
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 6th Aug 18, 9:15 AM
    • 6,314 Posts
    • 23,366 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Enjoy your time with your friend today xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6060.00 Cap 1: £170.00 BC: £TBC

    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD £6919.86/£7000
    Savings for Christmas £273.72/£400
    20p Savers 2018 £2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 9th Aug 18, 10:17 AM
    • 1,381 Posts
    • 5,198 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I'm actually cold and using the tumble drier

    I have made another £60 payment off the Nuba as I allocated more money than anticipated for passports.

    I feel that I have been good so far this summer with spending. The main treats have been treat foods e.g chocolate
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £45,909 , Family £ 36,982 total debt £82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- £3500 /£3900, DH Tesco £4299, my Tesco - £5390/£5510, total £13189
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Aug 18, 9:02 AM
    • 1,381 Posts
    • 5,198 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I'm feeling cold again today. We had lots of rain yesterday so I had to use the tumble drier.

    I've looked into my gas and electricity bill and realised that I'm getting ripped off so am changing providers! 20p cheaper per day just on the standing charge alone plus each kw is a few pence cheaper too.

    Have a lovely day.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £45,909 , Family £ 36,982 total debt £82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- £3500 /£3900, DH Tesco £4299, my Tesco - £5390/£5510, total £13189
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 10th Aug 18, 9:06 AM
    • 6,314 Posts
    • 23,366 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Morning debtaghh,

    It is rather chilly but so much nicer than the heat.

    Well done on the changing of the suppliers, it all helps

    Have a lovely day xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6060.00 Cap 1: £170.00 BC: £TBC

    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD £6919.86/£7000
    Savings for Christmas £273.72/£400
    20p Savers 2018 £2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • Moguline
    • By Moguline 10th Aug 18, 12:12 PM
    • 304 Posts
    • 880 Thanks
    Moguline
    Hi debtaghh, you're doing so well! Changing suppliers for things can make a massive difference overall - well done for being on the ball!
    The property prices by you are insane!
    Where we live (Liverpool), we live in a nice and big 4 bedroom Victorian terrace in a nice area, overlooking a park, lots of cafes, shops, pubs and restaurants nearby, good schools, 10 minutes from the city centre and 25 minutes to the beach. It's also only about an hour to nice areas of Wales, the Peak District and Lake District.
    We pay £750 in rent a month, and our house would be around £180k to buy.
    There are plenty of decent houses around here in acceptable areas for £100k.
    My friend lives in a detached 3 bed new build in a nice area a bit further out, she has a big garden and a driveway and paid £130k!
    We do have houses that cost £350k here too, but they're 4 or 5 bed detached houses with big gardens and double garages in posh areas.
    You can get a 3 bed terrace in a not-so-good area for £60k here.
    It's definitely worth considering moving up North when you're in a better position.
    Last edited by Moguline; 10-08-2018 at 12:14 PM.
    LBM: Christmas 2017 Highest debt (01/01/2018): £23,786 As of 30/07/2018: £19,570.38 Total reduction in 2018: -£4,215.90 DFD of my dreams: 31/12/2019
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Aug 18, 12:17 PM
    • 1,381 Posts
    • 5,198 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks.

    I can't believe the price difference. I didn't quite realise how overpriced we are!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £45,909 , Family £ 36,982 total debt £82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- £3500 /£3900, DH Tesco £4299, my Tesco - £5390/£5510, total £13189
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 10th Aug 18, 2:31 PM
    • 219 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    Its a peril of the south - in my area I would pay £1400 to rent a 3 bedroom house which would cost at least £350k to buy

    People say the wages are better in the south and maybe for some they are but I don't think there is a big a gap in take home pay as there is in property prices
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Aug 18, 2:36 PM
    • 1,381 Posts
    • 5,198 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Its a peril of the south - in my area I would pay £1400 to rent a 3 bedroom house which would cost at least £350k to buy

    People say the wages are better in the south and maybe for some they are but I don't think there is a big a gap in take home pay as there is in property prices
    Originally posted by efes shareholder
    I completely agree about the salaries.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £45,909 , Family £ 36,982 total debt £82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- £3500 /£3900, DH Tesco £4299, my Tesco - £5390/£5510, total £13189
    • DMP_Tiger
    • By DMP_Tiger 10th Aug 18, 5:01 PM
    • 131 Posts
    • 282 Thanks
    DMP_Tiger
    Hi Debtaggh, I've just skim-read your diary. You are doing so well but constantly fighting an uphill battle...

    From start to finish, your diary has screamed "DMP!!!". I know it's a bit tricky with your family loan but there's always a way!

    You clearly spend a lot of time on here so do have a read through the DMP help thread. One thing that everyone on a DMP will agree on is that it works wonders for our mental health. Debt is very stressful and you do have to look after yourself. It may take longer to pay off the debt, but you will have a happier life while the debt is being paid off.

    Best wishes

    Tiger.
    August 2018: Secured Debt £70,003 Unsecured Debt (DMP) £34,614 Total £104,617 DFD: March 2031
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 11th Aug 18, 9:57 AM
    • 1,381 Posts
    • 5,198 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    Feeling very angry this morn. The family member that was going to give us money to help with our rent has decided that they won't anymore! Please don't get me wrong it was very kind of them in the first place but we took the house on with the basis that they were going to give us the money meaning we had a year to sort ourselves out!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £45,909 , Family £ 36,982 total debt £82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- £3500 /£3900, DH Tesco £4299, my Tesco - £5390/£5510, total £13189
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 11th Aug 18, 2:53 PM
    • 6,883 Posts
    • 14,836 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Oh no, sorry to hear that. Were they lending you or giving you money? If you don't have enough money to pay rent and essentials then a DMP or defaulting on family debt may have to be the next step.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 11th Aug 18, 3:17 PM
    • 1,381 Posts
    • 5,198 Thanks
    debtaghh
    They were giving it to us
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £45,909 , Family £ 36,982 total debt £82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- £3500 /£3900, DH Tesco £4299, my Tesco - £5390/£5510, total £13189
    • DMP_Tiger
    • By DMP_Tiger 12th Aug 18, 9:24 AM
    • 131 Posts
    • 282 Thanks
    DMP_Tiger
    Blimey that's awful for you. How can people just let you down like that?Will you be ok for your rent and essential bills?
    August 2018: Secured Debt £70,003 Unsecured Debt (DMP) £34,614 Total £104,617 DFD: March 2031
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 12th Aug 18, 9:49 AM
    • 1,611 Posts
    • 5,220 Thanks
    MrsSave
    I'm really sorry to hear that. As enthusiasticsaver said, I do think you need to look at a dmp. Things are just far too tight for you. Either that or you'll have to turn to whichever family members you owe money to and say that you have no choice but to take a break from payments (assuming that would leave them in any financial hardship).
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 12th Aug 18, 9:51 AM
    • 1,381 Posts
    • 5,198 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I think we will able to afford everything but literally the minimums on cc. I just hope we get more income e.g. overtime as that will really help.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £45,909 , Family £ 36,982 total debt £82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- £3500 /£3900, DH Tesco £4299, my Tesco - £5390/£5510, total £13189
    • sweetpea26
    • By sweetpea26 12th Aug 18, 10:44 AM
    • 708 Posts
    • 4,662 Thanks
    sweetpea26
    Hi Debtagh

    You need to say to family that you are reducing payments or stopping for a while. They may be quite cross and put you under pressure but you need to now start looking after your own family...fire every spare penny at the debt if you are not willing to go DMP.

    Your family lenders I'm sure care about you and when they are made aware of your financial state they will just have to accept it. They or you don't have an option.

    Its upsetting when others let us down but now you must realise we have all to look after ourselves. Wishing you all the best. Take care of yourself.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 13th Aug 18, 12:09 PM
    • 1,381 Posts
    • 5,198 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hi,

    Unfortunately my family are not like most people and cause a lot of stress in my life. Anyone that knows me know what they are like and ask how do I put up with them. They are in fact asking I pay them more. They know our situation and don't care.

    I will reevaluate our situation come January and see how we cope and how much we have cleared.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £45,909 , Family £ 36,982 total debt £82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- £3500 /£3900, DH Tesco £4299, my Tesco - £5390/£5510, total £13189
    • DMP_Tiger
    • By DMP_Tiger 13th Aug 18, 12:35 PM
    • 131 Posts
    • 282 Thanks
    DMP_Tiger
    If it was me, I would carry on paying my family and stop paying the unsecured creditors.

    Regardless of how nice or otherwise my family are, I would lose sleep if I couldn't pay them back. Creditors, however are a business that know for every 100 customers who repay them in full every month, there will be some who do not. They will want to see your Income and Expenditure but you can jiggle the figures to cover your family loan repayments.

    I stopped paying my creditors in May and having enough money to live on each month has given me a new lease of life. Sure, it will take me a lot longer than the original 5 years to pay off my debts, but short term I had to look after my mental wellbeing - Debtaggh you need to do the same!
    August 2018: Secured Debt £70,003 Unsecured Debt (DMP) £34,614 Total £104,617 DFD: March 2031
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 13th Aug 18, 12:47 PM
    • 6,314 Posts
    • 23,366 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Hi lovely,

    Grr to the family member and to the rest of your family that do not care about your situation.

    I'd consider what Tiger said. See if the CC's would accept a token payment for a while, that may also give you a breather?

    Sending big hugs your way, here if you want a chat xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6060.00 Cap 1: £170.00 BC: £TBC

    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD £6919.86/£7000
    Savings for Christmas £273.72/£400
    20p Savers 2018 £2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
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