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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 1,410Posts
    • 5,327Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 60
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 15th Apr 18, 10:42 AM
    • 7,066 Posts
    • 15,310 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Sorry you have had the unexpected spends but at least you did not add to the debt.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • Storm89
    • By Storm89 15th Apr 18, 5:18 PM
    • 174 Posts
    • 1,389 Thanks
    Storm89
    Sorry you had to fly abroad, I do hope everything is ok. Food spends have gone well then , and like enthusiastic saver says at least you haven't added to the debt . That's my mantra if I don't save as much as expected ,or if I have to dip into savings (this one hasn't happened yet but only started in january) "at least we haven't added to the debt" lol
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 15th Apr 18, 5:52 PM
    • 1,663 Posts
    • 8,365 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    Sorry you've had to fly away, am I correct in thinking that you mentioned this was a possibility much much earlier in your diary?
    Also, is this likely
    To have to happen again?
    Well done for keeping at it. Onwards and upwards.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = 400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s 34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 1600ish/2,500
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 15th Apr 18, 5:59 PM
    • 1,410 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Sorry you've had to fly away, am I correct in thinking that you mentioned this was a possibility much much earlier in your diary?
    Also, is this likely
    To have to happen again?
    Well done for keeping at it. Onwards and upwards.
    Originally posted by wishingthemortgaheaway
    I think I mentioned my dh needing a passport as we have family abroad and if anything happens.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 45,909 , Family 36,982 total debt 82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- 3500 /3900, DH Tesco 4299, my Tesco - 5390/5510, total 13189
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 16th Apr 18, 12:00 AM
    • 1,663 Posts
    • 8,365 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    I think I mentioned my dh needing a passport as we have family abroad and if anything happens.
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    Ahh ok, general preparedness rather than specific planning.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = 400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s 34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 1600ish/2,500
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 16th Apr 18, 6:15 AM
    • 1,410 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I'm out all day today but am hoping apart from a 1 spend that's all I'll be spending. When I get back I'll have a quick look at the finances but I'm trying not to look at them as often. I haven't managed to make extra payments apart from one small payment. I'm focusing on saving at the minute for things I know I'll need money for.

    Have a frugal day everyone.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 45,909 , Family 36,982 total debt 82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- 3500 /3900, DH Tesco 4299, my Tesco - 5390/5510, total 13189
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 17th Apr 18, 7:09 AM
    • 1,410 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hi,

    I had a lsd yesterday and spent 1.25.

    I've been really thinking about my lack of self confidence lately and how I need to really improve it as it affects my life too much. This money situation obviously doesn't help but in general I feel fat etc. I am getting mental health help and I really hope it changes my mindset which I think will also help the money side.

    Have a lovely frugal day.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 45,909 , Family 36,982 total debt 82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- 3500 /3900, DH Tesco 4299, my Tesco - 5390/5510, total 13189
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 17th Apr 18, 8:00 AM
    • 7,066 Posts
    • 15,310 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Lack of confidence may be what's stopping you getting a job so great you trying to tackle it. You are facing a massive challenge head on with tackling your debt mountain so that is no small achievement. I think you should recognise your strength of character.

    I am glad you are getting help with your mental health as overall hopefully this will make you feel more positive about yourself. I think you are doing brilliantly in sticking to budget recently and saving for things you need. One day this will get easier.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • Storm89
    • By Storm89 17th Apr 18, 9:19 AM
    • 174 Posts
    • 1,389 Thanks
    Storm89
    You are really doing so well , if you read back at the start of your diary you can see how your mind set has changed & you need to give yourself credit for that. It's definitely a long road but you aren't alone in it. I hope your mental health improves & you can start to feel more positive about things
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 20th Apr 18, 6:22 AM
    • 1,410 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I'm really struggling to keep up with writing a daily diary lately. Life just feels constantly busy. I've had a fairly low spend week. I bought some bits from the aldi baby event. It saved me at least 20 so am pleased with that.

    I need to pay all minimums today but updated my signature the other day with the minimums paid for.

    Jobs:

    Pay minimums
    Washing
    Floors
    Sort paperwork out
    Pack items

    I really wanted a book the other day and was very tempted to buy it but instead I reserved it from the library.

    Have a lovely frugal day.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 45,909 , Family 36,982 total debt 82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- 3500 /3900, DH Tesco 4299, my Tesco - 5390/5510, total 13189
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 20th Apr 18, 7:19 AM
    • 7,066 Posts
    • 15,310 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    More than 5k paid off since October. Edging closer to your 40k target on the credit cards. Well done on reserving the book from the library rather than buying it.

    Lots of people rave about the Aldi baby event so presumably lots of bargains. I will check that out sometime. My daughter giving birth to our second granddaughter today
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 20th Apr 18, 7:23 AM
    • 1,410 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    debtaghh
    More than 5k paid off since October. Edging closer to your 40k target on the credit cards. Well done on reserving the book from the library rather than buying it.

    Lots of people rave about the Aldi baby event so presumably lots of bargains. I will check that out sometime. My daughter giving birth to our second granddaughter today
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Thanks.

    I definitely recommend the Aldi baby event.

    Hope everything goes well today.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 45,909 , Family 36,982 total debt 82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- 3500 /3900, DH Tesco 4299, my Tesco - 5390/5510, total 13189
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 20th Apr 18, 12:39 PM
    • 1,410 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I was just wondering if anyone has used a company called new skills academy? They have a course I like through Groupon.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 45,909 , Family 36,982 total debt 82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- 3500 /3900, DH Tesco 4299, my Tesco - 5390/5510, total 13189
    • One-step-at-a-time
    • By One-step-at-a-time 20th Apr 18, 4:27 PM
    • 187 Posts
    • 612 Thanks
    One-step-at-a-time
    No experience of them I'm afraid, but if you're interested in doing some courses, have you come across Futurelearn? They host free online courses provided by various Universities with optional test sections which are the only bits that require payment. All sorts of subjects from languages to screenwriting to digital media to sciences. Some have time-limited access, some are available for as long as you want.
    LBM: Jan 2017. Total owed: 46993.21 (39300.21 on CCs) Sep 2018: 30700.84 (28150 on CCs) Total debt repaid: 34.7%
    Credit in use: 65.16% DFD: April 2021
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 20th Apr 18, 4:33 PM
    • 1,410 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    debtaghh
    No experience of them I'm afraid, but if you're interested in doing some courses, have you come across Futurelearn? They host free online courses provided by various Universities with optional test sections which are the only bits that require payment. All sorts of subjects from languages to screenwriting to digital media to sciences. Some have time-limited access, some are available for as long as you want.
    Originally posted by One-step-at-a-time
    Thanks so much. I'll take a look.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 45,909 , Family 36,982 total debt 82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- 3500 /3900, DH Tesco 4299, my Tesco - 5390/5510, total 13189
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 21st Apr 18, 8:06 AM
    • 2,182 Posts
    • 13,330 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Sorry to hear that you needed to fly away.

    My daughter always gets things at the Aldi baby event and stocks up until the next one.

    I was thinking of you yesterday, I would like to move to somewhere with my own outside space , but currently where I am rental prices have gone up so much . However if I relocate to the area I work it is much more affordable. It's a dilemma, but I am just looking at the moment.

    Have a good weekend, you have done great paying of so much in the past few months.
    CC1 221 /3718
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 21st Apr 18, 8:21 AM
    • 1,410 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    We are still not sure what to do about relocating as it will be very far for my dh to get to work. It looks like we have to move out within a few months. I feel really fed about this as we like where we live and don't want to move.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 45,909 , Family 36,982 total debt 82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- 3500 /3900, DH Tesco 4299, my Tesco - 5390/5510, total 13189
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 24th Apr 18, 7:11 AM
    • 1,410 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    Still feeling deflated about the move and I think a part of this is due to the cost. We will end up paying more rent, have to buy a second car and the move itself will cost due to admin fees, van hire etc. I honestly don't know how we are going to afford this. I will def need to be extra frugal! My food spend doesn't feel as bad as last month but will work it out properly at the end of the month. My entertainment spends feels awful! I need to learn to not agree to go to every celebration we get invited to as it costs too much money!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 45,909 , Family 36,982 total debt 82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- 3500 /3900, DH Tesco 4299, my Tesco - 5390/5510, total 13189
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 24th Apr 18, 8:26 AM
    • 7,066 Posts
    • 15,310 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Sorry you will have to move after all. It definitely sounds like it will be expensive and getting a second car sounds unaffordable for you. Be selective about the things you accept.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 24th Apr 18, 10:19 PM
    • 1,410 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I'm feeling really stressed out about this house move business. Me and dh have had a row over relocating , he now doesn't seem keen which is fine but I wish he had told me before wasting my time! There is hardly anything in our area. The ones that are there are not very nice and more rent! We are going to end up paying over 100 per month more than now!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 45,909 , Family 36,982 total debt 82,891

    Need to clear by August 2019- Nuba- 3500 /3900, DH Tesco 4299, my Tesco - 5390/5510, total 13189
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