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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 1,418Posts
    • 5,364Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 59
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 2nd Apr 18, 9:08 AM
    • 2,285 Posts
    • 14,006 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    I def feel my frugal hat is back on and I've been reading blogs all morning. Up until the other day I wanted to go away for my wedding anniversary but it would have cost over 200 ( old me would have just booked it) but I didn't. There is no way I want to WASTE that on 24 hours of fun to then have six months of depression![/QUOTE]

    Hi Debtagh,

    Sorry to see things had got a bit on top of you , but great you are getting you some help. The above about your anniversary is so right,. I myself like my nights away but this was what happened to me going away putting it on the CC and then left with months paying it off.

    On the job front for yourself , is there anyway you could do some volunteering in something that interests you. It gets you out of the house, and back into using the skills you have .

    As for DD , I am sure once her exams are over she will get a job .

    It's good that you are keeping posting.

    Enjoy the bank holiday.
    CC1 3609
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 2nd Apr 18, 9:16 AM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 5,364 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hi Cumbria,

    I don't feel I can do volunteering now as I'd have to pay childcare plus part of my mental health issue is not coping if I feel too busy. I'm still doing my online business and have the ad hoc job. I also want to do some studying.

    Hope you had a lovely Easter.
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 2nd Apr 18, 9:20 AM
    • 2,285 Posts
    • 14,006 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    The online business I had forgotten about , that is definitely enough to be going on with.

    You know yourself best , so you must do what is right for you.
    CC1 3609
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 2nd Apr 18, 10:01 AM
    • 1,700 Posts
    • 8,590 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    If you log onto halifxx internet banking, there will be a 'cashback extras' tab, activate the offers and when you use your card it will be applied and you'll get the cashback eventually.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = 400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s 34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 1600ish/2,500
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 2nd Apr 18, 10:03 AM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 5,364 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks so much , I didn't know anything about that so will do that now. I do have visaoffers but they are not that great.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 2nd Apr 18, 2:02 PM
    • 7,189 Posts
    • 15,625 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Thanks enthusiasticsaver. How's early retirement going?

    I def feel my frugal hat is back on and I've been reading blogs all morning. Up until the other day I wanted to go away for my wedding anniversary but it would have cost over 200 ( old me would have just booked it) but I didn't. There is no way I want to WASTE that on 24 hours of fun to then have six months of depression!
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    Good pass on the night away. As you say the feeling of guilt when you spend on something you have not budgeted for takes all the pleasure out of it. No one is saying you cannot ever go away but use your holiday savings for it. Not sure if you have separate pots for saving or just one but I found splitting savings into emergencies, car and house and holidays was the way to go.

    Early retirement is great thanks although I have spent this morning at soft play with my 2 year old DGD and doing painting with her this afternoon. My DD is 8 months pregnant with her 2nd DD so her and my son in law need all the rest they can get
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 2nd Apr 18, 2:44 PM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 5,364 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Good pass on the night away. As you say the feeling of guilt when you spend on something you have not budgeted for takes all the pleasure out of it. No one is saying you cannot ever go away but use your holiday savings for it. Not sure if you have separate pots for saving or just one but I found splitting savings into emergencies, car and house and holidays was the way to go.

    Early retirement is great thanks although I have spent this morning at soft play with my 2 year old DGD and doing painting with her this afternoon. My DD is 8 months pregnant with her 2nd DD so her and my son in law need all the rest they can get
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Glad you're enjoying it and I'm sure your dd appreciates the rest.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 3rd Apr 18, 7:22 AM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 5,364 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    So far I've had 2nsd this month and I'm hoping today will be another one. We are visiting friends but I have bits to take with me.

    I've checked the accounts and they are all ok ( if I can ever call them ok

    My aim was to lose half a stone in March. I lost 5lbs which I'm pleased with.

    I would like my aim to be to get the ccs under 40k by December. If I could do it before then that would be even better but I'm also focusing on saving.

    Have a lovely frugal day.
    • Honeybug
    • By Honeybug 3rd Apr 18, 3:00 PM
    • 22 Posts
    • 208 Thanks
    Honeybug
    Hi,

    Just wanted to pop by and say hello. I have just finished reading your diary. I am making my way through as many as i can as i find them inspirational and fascinating.

    I struggled to follow all the balance/money transfers so am pleased you are no longer doing these. Enthusiatic managed to keep a track which was great.

    Keep going, I know it must feel like a mountain but every step you take is one less you have to make. If that makes sense?

    I would really encourage you to check out your local childrens centre, if you have one. In our area they run groups (just a donation of a 1 or so) for mums and toddlers, CAB surgeries for advice, healthy eating courses, and lots of other things. The staff are always available to talk - sometimes when you are feeling low a friendly face and a welcoming environment can make all the difference.

    Keep going. I will follow your progress but have only just started posting so tend not to put my tuppence worth in to often!!
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 3rd Apr 18, 3:08 PM
    • 7,189 Posts
    • 15,625 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    You sound more positive than a week or so ago so that is great. Getting below 40k by December would be awesome. Congrats on weight loss and NSD.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 3rd Apr 18, 4:20 PM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 5,364 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hi,

    Just wanted to pop by and say hello. I have just finished reading your diary. I am making my way through as many as i can as i find them inspirational and fascinating.

    I struggled to follow all the balance/money transfers so am pleased you are no longer doing these. Enthusiatic managed to keep a track which was great.

    Keep going, I know it must feel like a mountain but every step you take is one less you have to make. If that makes sense?

    I would really encourage you to check out your local childrens centre, if you have one. In our area they run groups (just a donation of a 1 or so) for mums and toddlers, CAB surgeries for advice, healthy eating courses, and lots of other things. The staff are always available to talk - sometimes when you are feeling low a friendly face and a welcoming environment can make all the difference.

    Keep going. I will follow your progress but have only just started posting so tend not to put my tuppence worth in to often!!
    Originally posted by Honeybug
    Thanks for reading my diary! I know what you mean about the steps... just need reminding at times!
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 3rd Apr 18, 4:21 PM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 5,364 Thanks
    debtaghh
    You sound more positive than a week or so ago so that is great. Getting below 40k by December would be awesome. Congrats on weight loss and NSD.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Thanks. I do feel more positive and I think it's because I'm more determined and focused. Sometimes I just let it get on top of me.
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 3rd Apr 18, 10:53 PM
    • 1,629 Posts
    • 5,280 Thanks
    MrsSave
    Debtaghh you're doing great. One step at a time, and you'll get there. Keep budgeting, put a little money to one side for things you like/treats but at the same time keep working on he debt. We all have ups and downs, but just remember when you're feeling totally low and fed up, your up is around the corner x
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • sweetpea26
    • By sweetpea26 4th Apr 18, 6:23 AM
    • 708 Posts
    • 4,662 Thanks
    sweetpea26
    Morning Debtagh

    So good to read that you are feeling so much more positive. You can and will do this !!!
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 4th Apr 18, 6:43 AM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 5,364 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I had another nsd yesterday. We went to visit friends and the kids had a great time. I'm working today but will have to spend as we need milk and cheese. The next few days will be spend days which is annoying but it can't be helped as I need to do a food shop etc.

    Have a frugal day everyone.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 5th Apr 18, 8:53 AM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 5,364 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    As predicted I had a spend day yesterday but did work and earn money. The next three days will be planned spend days. I've woken up feeling physically exhausted and I have no idea why.

    The sun is shining so I may attempt to hang the washing out today!

    Have a lovely frugal day.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Apr 18, 6:53 AM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 5,364 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I've had an exhausting few days but spends haven't been as bad as I predicted thankfully . I was also given 15 which I think I might put in the holiday pot. Today should be a low spend day. I have lots to get on with today so will leave it there. Have a lovely frugal day.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 8th Apr 18, 8:56 AM
    • 7,189 Posts
    • 15,625 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Good you have managed to keep a lid on expenses over the school holidays and managing to squirrel some cash away. Any joy yet from your landlord as to whether he still wants you to move out?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Apr 18, 9:09 AM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 5,364 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Good you have managed to keep a lid on expenses over the school holidays and managing to squirrel some cash away. Any joy yet from your landlord as to whether he still wants you to move out?
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    No news, he is still unsure therefore we are just staying put. There isn't much out there and will cost more and not be the right location etc. If we can stay where we are as long as possible that would be great as everywhere else is a minimum of 100 more per month!

    Kids are still off this week but ds has a friend round and he is going to a friend's another day so I'm hoping to not really spend much this week.

    Food shop wise I've only allocated another 30 which needs to last until the 20th. But I do have toilet paper, nappies and meat in the freezer to last until then. I also have fruit, cheese , bread and milk to last until Thursday so am hoping that 30 will not need to be touched until a week before the 20th and will cover fruit, milk, veg and bread. Worst case I could use money in the savings as I didn't allocate a lot for food but I would rather not!
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 15th Apr 18, 7:56 AM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 5,364 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Well a lot has gone on since my last post as unexpectedly I had to fly abroad. I won't get into it but it was unexpected and not for a positive reason but sadly these things happen . Obviously this was not allocated financially for so I had to use the savings. I was very lucky and treated to a majority of food over there so it was mainly the flights that cost me. I spent just over 200 in total.

    Will hopefully update my signature at the end of the week when I pay my minimums. I feel like I've spent less on food this month so far but will need to work it out.

    Have a frugal day everyone.
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