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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 1,183Posts
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    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 53
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 9th Feb 18, 10:23 AM
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    debtaghh
    I worked out dh minimum wrong and it will be £50 less than I thought which will be helpful.

    I donít think my debt will go majorly down this month as Iíve had such an expensive month. Any extras that Iíve paid will just reduce my minimum as my new statements have already been produced. Aim is to get it under the £46000 mark which should be fine once all minimums are fully paid. Itís still a big chunk from October.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £42,775 , Family £ 39,608 total debt £82,383

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 9th Feb 18, 11:51 AM
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    enthusiasticsaver
    At least it is going down! Expensive months are a pain. We have had car insurance renewal on my car this month and pay our telephone land line rental for the year next month to save money as more expensive to pay monthly. My pension administrators also took tax out of my first pension payment on emergency rate which has annoyed me as I sent them my P45 when I retired in December. Good job no council tax for those months.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 9th Feb 18, 11:53 AM
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    debtaghh
    At least it is going down! Expensive months are a pain. We have had car insurance renewal on my car this month and pay our telephone land line rental for the year next month to save money as more expensive to pay monthly. My pension administrators also took tax out of my first pension payment on emergency rate which has annoyed me as I sent them my P45 when I retired in December. Good job no council tax for those months.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    That is a pain, hope it gets sorted ASAP!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £42,775 , Family £ 39,608 total debt £82,383

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 9th Feb 18, 11:54 AM
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    enthusiasticsaver
    Keep this up and you will be in the £30ks by the end of the year on the credit card debt. Not bad considering it was almost £50ks in October. Keep going.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 9th Feb 18, 12:35 PM
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    • 3,498 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Keep this up and you will be in the £30ks by the end of the year on the credit card debt. Not bad considering it was almost £50ks in October. Keep going.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Thanks. I had to read that twice as I canít believe it.... in the 30s would be great!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £42,775 , Family £ 39,608 total debt £82,383

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Feb 18, 6:58 AM
    • 1,183 Posts
    • 3,498 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I really need to learn to stop feeling sorry for myself and pull myself together!!! I have been trying to reflect why I am so angry about things as I cannot carry on being so negative, down etc. It not fair on anyone ( I try and hide it from the kids).

    I feel frustrated that we do not own our own house.... for many reasons including:

    We can not decorate and make it our own
    We can get kicked out without hardly any notice
    The uncertainty of the not knowing
    We are paying a high amt to not be paying our own mortgage

    I feel frustrated about not having money:

    Can not buy a house
    Have lots of debt... which will take years to pay , will it be too late to buy then?
    Can not just go and buy things without thinking one hundred times.
    Have not been abroad in years.
    I feel like everything is expensive and moan about this and worry what ppl must think of tht.

    I feel frustrated about this job business:

    I want to help our financial situation but I can not get a job!
    I think it could help me mentally too.


    I need to remember that right now :

    I have three lovely children ( not all the time so lovely )
    A loving husband
    A roof over my head that is a decent size
    Dh has a job that pays well
    I have the opportunity to earn a bit of money
    Our debt is on good deals
    I have friends locally , dh is starting too as well.
    We can kind of manage our monthly outgoings and hopefully this will get easier
    I lost a stone in weight and have still kept it off ( just)
    I have nice things planned for this year including days out, breaks etc


    I am just writing my thoughts down so sorry for the odd post.

    Have a frugal and enjoyable weekend.
    Last edited by debtaghh; 10-02-2018 at 7:04 AM.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £42,775 , Family £ 39,608 total debt £82,383

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 10th Feb 18, 7:33 AM
    • 6,008 Posts
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    Purplemumof2
    Morning lovely,

    Sometimes it's good to write things down.

    There will be a job for you, you're determined enough and it's just hiding around the corner at the moment, you've just not found it yet.

    Have a lovely weekend xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6500.00 Cap 1: £417.28 BC: £8224.59 (temporary)
    AFD xxx LTW 12/16
    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD £3790.84/£7000
    Savings for Christmas £131.00/£365
    20p Savers 2018 £2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 10th Feb 18, 11:20 AM
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    enthusiasticsaver
    Well done on embracing the positive and realising all the good things you have. The main thing is you all are healthy and I have realised recently that although money and stable finances are important you have nothing if you don't have your health.


    Thoroughly understand why you feel despondent too sometimes but you are tackling the debt the best way you can and when the debt is lower it is not beyond the realms of possibility that one day you will be able to buy your own home and hopefully one day you will get your job. One step at a time.


    All that debt was accrued over many years I daresay and you have really only started to address it properly last year. As it gets lower you will benefit from the snowball effect.


    Have a nice frugal weekend.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 12th Feb 18, 7:50 AM
    • 1,183 Posts
    • 3,498 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I need to sort my life out! I have been awful lately with money and food. I have been writing all my expenses down and this month has been ridiculous. I have had the odd coffee and even McDonald as my ds had a friend over. I even went out the other night and had a lovely girly night ( can not remember the last time I did that) but I spent over £20. Since dh pay on the 20th January we have spent over £100 on entertainment I was so good in January so I need to sort it. The same with my non existent diet, I have been eating what I want and when I want. I have put on about 3lbs since losing a stone but it can easily creep back up, ideally I would like to lose half a stone by Easter.

    I am away for half term for a few days ( this is one of the breaks I booked for the summer but to save money used the deposit to pay for the whole break in Feb). I need to be good financially, I have allocated £60. Before and after going away , I need my calorie intake to be 1750 as a max and then I will see if I can reduce it further.

    I will do this!

    Have a lovely frugal day.
    Last edited by debtaghh; 12-02-2018 at 7:54 AM.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £42,775 , Family £ 39,608 total debt £82,383

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • motivated
    • By motivated 12th Feb 18, 10:26 AM
    • 2,193 Posts
    • 4,262 Thanks
    motivated
    Hi debtaghh

    Try not to beat yourself up about it all although I am terrible for this also. Try to remember you have to live aswell otherwise it all gets a little overwhelming. It is just a hiccup along the way and you realised you have overdone it a bit and can learn from it.

    Have a lovely few days away
    M
    I have arrived in DMP land and I like it, I may stay a while
    LBM £82,590 Jan 17/£77,672.91 April 18
    Short term goal £1398.73/£1796 / PDBX 18 # 31 - £2385.52/£5,000
    52 week challenge VSP # 8 - £150
    SPC # 91
    / Save a penny a day 2018 # 02 - £50.00
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 12th Feb 18, 2:43 PM
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    • 9,905 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    I to have regrets , renting in retirement possibly will not be good. However you have to do the best with what you have. I still think you haven't found the balance between paying off the debt and living a sensible life.

    You seem to go hell for leather , then have a splurge. I am in no way saying that it is wrong or right , just that a happy medium will leave you not worrying and having meltdowns.

    You are doing well applying for jobs , the thought would fill me with dread .

    I hope this doesn't sound harsh as it is not meant that way , I think you are sometimes to hard on yourself.

    Have a lovely break and relax .
    CC1 £3655 April 2018.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 12th Feb 18, 6:31 PM
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    debtaghh
    Thanks Cumbria. You havenít been too harsh.

    I think itís hard because I donít write everything on here as Iím worried someone I know might read it. I have lots going on , family issues, we now have to move house too but have no where to go. Iím completely depressed , stressed and anxious. Iím paranoid and feel useless. Iím trying to clear this debt but do struggle.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £42,775 , Family £ 39,608 total debt £82,383

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 13th Feb 18, 3:34 AM
    • 1,183 Posts
    • 3,498 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I have my frugal hat back on, due to this move we are going to have to save every penny we can. This move is going to cause us lots of issues and was unexpected, I need to try and be strong for my family.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £42,775 , Family £ 39,608 total debt £82,383

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 13th Feb 18, 6:11 AM
    • 1,472 Posts
    • 4,772 Thanks
    MrsSave
    Sorry to hear about you having to move. Hopefully it will all work out for the best, and you'll end up in a beautiful house with less rent to pay than now.

    Do you generally budget for entertainment? Make sure you are allowing yourself enough so that you don't feel you're going without and end up overspending. I break my budget down to weekly, I find it much easier to deal with and I don't run out half way through the month.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 13th Feb 18, 7:37 AM
    • 1,183 Posts
    • 3,498 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Weekly budgeting does sound like a good idea, thanks.

    Unfortunately we won't end up with less rent but the complete opposite and it will be more rent.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £42,775 , Family £ 39,608 total debt £82,383

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 13th Feb 18, 8:15 AM
    • 6,008 Posts
    • 21,945 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Morning hun,

    Sorry about the unexpected move, but maybe its a good thing? New start and new beginnings.

    Have a lovely day today xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6500.00 Cap 1: £417.28 BC: £8224.59 (temporary)
    AFD xxx LTW 12/16
    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD £3790.84/£7000
    Savings for Christmas £131.00/£365
    20p Savers 2018 £2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 13th Feb 18, 8:57 AM
    • 1,683 Posts
    • 9,905 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Debtagh as you say you can't put everything on here , I hope that whatever reason you have to move is not for any awful reason and that you are safe.

    Can't but notice the time you were posting , I thought you were away. How you will pay more rent I have no idea. I hope you have some help with everything.

    Try and keep in touch . Good luck.
    CC1 £3655 April 2018.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 13th Feb 18, 9:09 AM
    • 1,183 Posts
    • 3,498 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks. I've not gone away yet but didn't haven't a good sleep.

    We have to move because the landlord wants his house back. Rent is very expensive around the areas we live and we are paying relatively reasonable rent ( of course it's not reasonable and is a rip off but I mean for the area)
    Last edited by debtaghh; 13-02-2018 at 9:13 AM.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £42,775 , Family £ 39,608 total debt £82,383

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 13th Feb 18, 9:13 AM
    • 6,255 Posts
    • 12,396 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Sorry you have to move but like Cumbria lass I am not sure how you will pay more rent than you do at the moment without doing a DMP and telling your family you cannot continue to repay at the current rate.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 14th Feb 18, 6:45 AM
    • 1,183 Posts
    • 3,498 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    Is anyone else having to keep
    changing their password on here? It's really annoying!

    I should be earning around £80 today which will be good.

    I said to dh we need to be extremely frugal and save every penny we can from now on. Moving will cost us money plus we need about a £3k deposit!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £42,775 , Family £ 39,608 total debt £82,383

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
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