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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 1,223Posts
    • 4,625Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 51
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 3rd Feb 18, 7:28 AM
    • 6,070 Posts
    • 22,304 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Morning,

    Nuba is heading in the right direction

    Looks like a productive day, good luck with your list.

    Have a great day xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6350.00 Cap 1: £407.72 BC: £6224.59
    AFD xxx LTW 4/17
    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD £5970.32/£7000
    Savings for Christmas £161.42/£365
    20p Savers 2018 £2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 3rd Feb 18, 9:06 AM
    • 6,385 Posts
    • 13,113 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Goodness that NUBA was £5300 last August. Paying more than £4K is brill or have you BTd some? Sensible to put some into savings too.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 3rd Feb 18, 9:08 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I balance transferred £2500 towards the end of last year but the rest has been paid off from my earnings.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • motivated
    • By motivated 3rd Feb 18, 9:18 AM
    • 2,194 Posts
    • 4,343 Thanks
    motivated
    Hi debtaghh managed to catch up on your journey. You are doing well and hope you get through your list. I have a list of jobs as long as my arm but cannot get motivated this morning lol
    I have arrived in DMP land and I like it, I may stay a while
    LBM £82,590 Jan 17/£77,182.91 May 18
    Short term goal £1523.73/£1796 / PDBX 18 # 31 - £2885.52/£5,000
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 3rd Feb 18, 9:21 AM
    • 6,385 Posts
    • 13,113 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    That is really good. Keep plugging away at it. How are you coping with the increased minimums to Barclaycard now?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 3rd Feb 18, 9:24 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    This month is the first month where dhís minimum is at the higher rate but we have no council tax. The getting rid of the tutor, reduced swimming rate and the amount we have paid off over the last couple of months has made it a lot easier. I think the shortfall is under £300 but that doesnít include me earning anything .
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • chevalier
    • By chevalier 4th Feb 18, 3:57 AM
    • 7,762 Posts
    • 18,042 Thanks
    chevalier
    Hi there
    I have been following along with your story but myn computer packed up and it is an absolute pain to post on my phone.

    just a few observations.

    You mentioned early on that you don't have a tenancy agreement as the landlord had no idea what was happening with him so couldn't give you one. I wonder if this does not put you in a very tenous position. Can you check this out with the CAB if this is still the case?

    Re your daughter. I definately knew what i wanted to do at 16, and again at 17 and again at 18 and again at 19. LOL. I didn't have the confidence to really go for what my dream job is, though I think I would have done OK. My point being that indecision is not the be all and end all. The important thing is to get decent grades at whatever she chooses at A level. Then she has the option of uni, or some form of on the job training, and not just apprenticeships.

    I also wonder if she has some issues that are the same as you ie being anxious etc. Is that possible or is she a very different personality from you? I hope this isn't the case, but it is something to consider. Some children though are naturally introverted. And the friends they make now don't necessarily stay for ever either. I managed to stay in contact with a few friends for the first year of uni, but then the friends down in my uni town became more important and they are the friends i still have today.



    Re the job. Good luck with balancing that. Have you thought about doing admin online, ie virtually. You have to be a bit careful who you sign up with but this might be the ideal way of bringing in some more money. But the job i did for 10 years started off being min wage and I ended up leaving as a middle level manager. So don't write off jobs where you are only making a slight positive, as you are proving you are employable to your next employer as well as the one you get a job with.

    What qualifications do you have? Can you do some free online courses to sharpen up your CV a bit?

    good luck
    chev
    I want a job that is less than an hour driving away from my house! Are you listening universe?
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 4th Feb 18, 7:08 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hi there
    I have been following along with your story but myn computer packed up and it is an absolute pain to post on my phone.

    just a few observations.

    You mentioned early on that you don't have a tenancy agreement as the landlord had no idea what was happening with him so couldn't give you one. I wonder if this does not put you in a very tenous position. Can you check this out with the CAB if this is still the case?

    Re your daughter. I definately knew what i wanted to do at 16, and again at 17 and again at 18 and again at 19. LOL. I didn't have the confidence to really go for what my dream job is, though I think I would have done OK. My point being that indecision is not the be all and end all. The important thing is to get decent grades at whatever she chooses at A level. Then she has the option of uni, or some form of on the job training, and not just apprenticeships.

    I also wonder if she has some issues that are the same as you ie being anxious etc. Is that possible or is she a very different personality from you? I hope this isn't the case, but it is something to consider. Some children though are naturally introverted. And the friends they make now don't necessarily stay for ever either. I managed to stay in contact with a few friends for the first year of uni, but then the friends down in my uni town became more important and they are the friends i still have today.



    Re the job. Good luck with balancing that. Have you thought about doing admin online, ie virtually. You have to be a bit careful who you sign up with but this might be the ideal way of bringing in some more money. But the job i did for 10 years started off being min wage and I ended up leaving as a middle level manager. So don't write off jobs where you are only making a slight positive, as you are proving you are employable to your next employer as well as the one you get a job with.

    What qualifications do you have? Can you do some free online courses to sharpen up your CV a bit?

    good luck
    chev
    Originally posted by chevalier
    Thank you so much for taking the time to post.

    We have a rolling contract, so our original terms are still in place apart from the notice period.

    I have been trying to encourage my dd to focus on her grades now and not worry about whether she wants to go to uni etc.

    I think she prob does have anxiety and lacks confident especially in the last couple of years.

    I have applied for lots of minimum wage jobs. I applied for another two yesterday. I thought about virtual pa as my friend does it a bit but you are up against a lot of ppl and with the company she is with you have to bid to get the job. I also think it would do me good working outside of the house.

    I have GCSEs , a-c in maths and English plus a few other subjects. My plan is when my youngest starts nursery Iím going to do some admin courses to put on my cv.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 4th Feb 18, 7:11 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I managed to do everything on my list plus lots of paperwork. Today Iím aiming for a more relaxing day as I had a stomach ache all day yesterday. I did spend money as I went food shopping and dh went to the pub ( first time this year).

    Have a frugal day everyone.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 4th Feb 18, 8:30 AM
    • 6,070 Posts
    • 22,304 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Hope you feel better soon xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6350.00 Cap 1: £407.72 BC: £6224.59
    AFD xxx LTW 4/17
    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD £5970.32/£7000
    Savings for Christmas £161.42/£365
    20p Savers 2018 £2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • chevalier
    • By chevalier 5th Feb 18, 4:03 AM
    • 7,762 Posts
    • 18,042 Thanks
    chevalier
    Hi there
    this was the company i used a while ago. Maybe worth having a look to see what you think. You would qualify for free study.
    https://www.vision2learn.net/course/free/121/business-and-administration-level-2
    cheers
    chev
    I want a job that is less than an hour driving away from my house! Are you listening universe?
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 5th Feb 18, 7:04 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hi there
    this was the company i used a while ago. Maybe worth having a look to see what you think. You would qualify for free study.
    https://www.vision2learn.net/course/free/121/business-and-administration-level-2
    cheers
    chev
    Originally posted by chevalier
    Thanks so much.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 5th Feb 18, 7:09 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I went on a lovely walk yesterday with dh and the chn ( including my 16 year old) it was very cold but nice to do some exercise as Iíve been getting very lazy at weekends. We also all played a board game. So had a lovely non expensive day.

    Iím out a lot of the day today but need to at least do the washing and dusting as a minimum.

    Have a lovely frugal day.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 6th Feb 18, 7:43 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I turned down going to a coffee shop yesterday and went to a friendís house instead.

    I woke up this morning to another job rejection

    Iím at home today so I need to crack on with work for my business but once dd has a nap as I want to spend quality time with her. Just read from Martinís twitter about a boy who died from sepsis, itís so sad and truly makes you realise how lucky we all are and to treasure each other.

    Have a good frugal day.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 6th Feb 18, 7:54 AM
    • 6,385 Posts
    • 13,113 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Sorry about the job rejection. Keep trying. At some point you may need to do some retraining if you have been out of the job market for a while. Lots of free courses available for mums returning to work. I took advantage of one myself when I retrained after leaving banking in 2000. At least you seem to be getting the odd sale here and there.

    Sepsis is awful. My son in law thought he had flu last November but my daughter thought he was getting much worse after a few days so she took him to the out of hours doctor who admitted him to hospital. He had a blood infection, pneumonia, endocarditis and sepsis so critically ill and spent six weeks in hospital. He is still not right now but we are thankful he is still alive. At one point we were seriously worried he might not make it leaving my daughter 5 months pregnant and our little granddaughter without a dad.

    That poor little boy is not so lucky
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 6th Feb 18, 8:19 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Sorry about the job rejection. Keep trying. At some point you may need to do some retraining if you have been out of the job market for a while. Lots of free courses available for mums returning to work. I took advantage of one myself when I retrained after leaving banking in 2000. At least you seem to be getting the odd sale here and there.

    Sepsis is awful. My son in law thought he had flu last November but my daughter thought he was getting much worse after a few days so she took him to the out of hours doctor who admitted him to hospital. He had a blood infection, pneumonia, endocarditis and sepsis so critically ill and spent six weeks in hospital. He is still not right now but we are thankful he is still alive. At one point we were seriously worried he might not make it leaving my daughter 5 months pregnant and our little granddaughter without a dad.

    That poor little boy is not so lucky
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Sorry to hear about your son in law but glad he is on the mend.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Storm89
    • By Storm89 6th Feb 18, 9:36 AM
    • 483 Posts
    • 859 Thanks
    Storm89
    Oh my goodness enthusiastic saver what a scary time for you all, so glad he pulled through. Debtagh I couldn't agree more about cherishing time. I've been thinking that a lot lately myself. X
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 6th Feb 18, 12:26 PM
    • 6,385 Posts
    • 13,113 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Yes in spite of this being a money saving site the things we should value most, our health and our family and friends are all free.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Feb 18, 6:55 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I ended up having a busy day yesterday and spent hardly any time with my dd. I find there is always so much to do. I did a lot of work for my business , applied for a job, house work, house admin and with the sch pick up the day just goes! Applying for jobs is so time consuming. I am going to slow this down until dd goes to nursery as I want to treasure every moment with her before she is off in the education world.

    I had a big argument with my teenager , I can not stand the constant attitude. It is always us or the teachers in the wrong! I got a phone call from her teacher but of course according to my dd the teacher is wrong. I have taken away her electricals, which of course she did not like so answered back and then went to bed at 7pm because of course what else can a 16 year old do when she has 3 months left before her first gcse!!!

    On the money front, I feel like all I have been doing lately is spend , spend and spend! I have had to pay for ds school swimming and other sch trips which all came to over £100! We have birthdays this month, outings etc so does not feel any where as frugal as last month. I have been offered more work for next week which should bring approx £80 extra in March.

    Have a lovely frugal day.
    Last edited by debtaghh; 07-02-2018 at 6:58 AM.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Feb 18, 7:01 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    What is wrong with this site at the minute? If you put an apostrophe in a word a number comes up. Iíve noticed it with other diaries and it just happened to my above post. I had to go back and put the whole word or is shows as 8217 or something like that!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
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