Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 1,262Posts
    • 4,773Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 46
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 9th Jan 18, 8:02 AM
    • 6,599 Posts
    • 13,801 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    If you are shopping in Lidl!!!8217;s or Aldi!!!8217;s I would have said around £350 - £400 a month for 5 of you although you could do it cheaper than that. Personally I think spending on food is preferable to entertainment. We take our granddaughter to a toddler open gym session every other Monday at £5 a session.

    You seem to be getting a lot of ideas from Frugalwoods. I haven!!!8217;t read that. Is it a blog? Any savings you make on entertainment could go in the holiday pot?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 9th Jan 18, 8:06 AM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,773 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Yes, itís a blog and I think itís great.

    I thought the same about holiday pot, I thought I will allocate x amt ( bare minimum) and then any food or entertainment money I save I will put half towards debt and half towards extra holiday money.

    I was thinking £70 p/w on food.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Jan 18, 6:45 AM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,773 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I have been offered an interview but it is the one that isnít admin and the one I least wanted. On top of that and the main issue is itís minimum wage and not set hours each week. I will be earning £15 p/w due to childcare so not sure what to do!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 10th Jan 18, 7:01 AM
    • 1,453 Posts
    • 6,876 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    Morning,

    I have been offered an interview but it is the one that isnít admin and the one I least wanted. On top of that and the main issue is itís minimum wage and not set hours each week. I will be earning £15 p/w due to childcare so not sure what to do!
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    Go for the interview experience. And remember there is lots of help out there for child care.
    Working family tax credits has a child care element, some employers offer childcare vouchers and there is the new 'tax free child care account' which gives a top up to everything you put in.

    We use the taxfree child care account system and it's brilliant for us.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s £34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 £1600ish/£2,500
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Jan 18, 7:03 AM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,773 Thanks
    debtaghh
    We are not eligible for tax credits etc due to my dhís salary. We canít do childcare vouchers either
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 10th Jan 18, 8:01 AM
    • 1,453 Posts
    • 6,876 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    We are not eligible for tax credits etc due to my dhís salary. We canít do childcare vouchers either
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    Then you can definitely do the tax free child care account then. We are the same as you, no tax credits and no childcare vouchers.

    It's like an online bank account. You pay the money in, government tops it up ( I pay £350 a month in, it gets topped up by £87.50) I've set up a standing order from that account to my childminder. And just forget about it. You can do one off payments though.
    My childcare bill is £105 a week, but it costs me £86 in hard cash.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s £34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 Feb 15/100 March 18/100 April 19/100 May 20/100 June 21/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2024 Jan 2024
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 £1600ish/£2,500
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 10th Jan 18, 8:38 AM
    • 6,599 Posts
    • 13,801 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Sometimes getting your foot in the door is the key with jobs. You have been out of work a long time so are not going to walk into a job that pays you a high salary to start with. When I had children and went back part time after 3 years I was paying 2/3rds of my wages to the childminder. Once I had been working for a while though there were opportunities to move to better paid jobs and the rewards are better.

    Even if you don!!!8217;t qualify for tax credits, my daughter doesn!!!8217;t but she uses the new childcare scheme and gets help with the costs. She has planned her second so that the 30 free hours kicks in for the first child so she not paying for both together. You just have one don!!!8217;t you and is she nearly three so her free hours are then available?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Jan 18, 8:45 AM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,773 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I have three children. The problem is itís not an official childminder helping me out as I canít afford a childminder ( itís someone doing me a favour) . On top of that as the hours will change every week I may have to pay more childcare for my ds at after sch club meaning I could be at a minus which I really canít afford. Iíve been out of employed employment but am self employed and submit a tax return. My dd will be eligible to 15 hours from September in the mornings but this job could be anytime from 9-5.30 meaning I could have to work 1-5 one day which will incur a cost.

    I know I wonít go into a job on a high salary but canít afford to be at a minus plus I really need a job with fixed hours eg 9-5 mon, tues and wed to accommodate when dd starts nursery.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Storm89
    • By Storm89 10th Jan 18, 10:15 AM
    • 578 Posts
    • 1,297 Thanks
    Storm89
    Finding a job to fit around the kids is really hard. I would maybe go for the interview experience, but I can't see how you could work the childcare thing if you're going to be at a minus. I have a friend help me out & I feel awful about it because I put on her so much. Childcare is so so expensive and I think you are right to think seriously about if this is right for you. Fixed hours are definitely preferable if you can secure a job like that. I don't know much about it and obviously other people are suggesting how it could be subsidised which is good if you can do that.
    I have a friend currently in debt that she's accumulated from not having enough money to pay for childcare. She has quit her job and has 4 weeks to find another with more suitable hours. She was entitled to very little tax credits and , especially during the school holidays, was relying on credit cards to pay for childcare. She still owes the nursery/after school club money. It's a very difficult decision to make & it's hard to do the sums when you don't have regular hours. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, I'm sure others on here know more about the help that's available.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Jan 18, 10:23 AM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,773 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks so much . I just spoke to my dh and we have decided itís not viable to go for this job as I have also found out that the rota is only done one week in advance!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Storm89
    • By Storm89 10th Jan 18, 10:38 AM
    • 578 Posts
    • 1,297 Thanks
    Storm89
    That's not ideal when you have a family is it. My mother in law works at a museum and her rota is done monthly so not quite a week in advance but she can never plan anything far in advance because she doesn't know when she'll be working . Must be harder to juggle childcare that way. I'm sure something will come along , and once all kids are in full time school it will be easier I would imagine. Once mine are both in full time school, I'm hoping to find a job to help share the burden of debt. I'm not bothered about stacking shelves or anything, I only want something that fits in with the kids .
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Jan 18, 12:00 PM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,773 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I have applied for retail as well but the hours arenít necessary suitable for my family due to childcare but am happy to give most things ago as long as it fits around the kids.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Storm89
    • By Storm89 10th Jan 18, 12:07 PM
    • 578 Posts
    • 1,297 Thanks
    Storm89
    Fingers crossed you get something suitable soon
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 10th Jan 18, 1:34 PM
    • 6,153 Posts
    • 22,625 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    How about working in a school kitchen or lunch time supervisor in a school?

    It's not great money but it helps a bit and fits around the kids with the holidays.
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6200.00 Cap 1: £395.80 BC: £6841.81
    AFD xxx LTW 6/16
    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD £6288.87/£7000
    Savings for Christmas £191.84/£365
    20p Savers 2018 £2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Jan 18, 1:43 PM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,773 Thanks
    debtaghh
    How about working in a school kitchen or lunch time supervisor in a school?

    It's not great money but it helps a bit and fits around the kids with the holidays.
    Originally posted by Purplemumof2
    That wonít work now as Iíll have to pay childcare and with the travel time I wonít earn any money but is def an option once my youngest is full time at school.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Jan 18, 2:56 PM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,773 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks for everyoneís advice, I think this job business will just be a long process.

    On a diff note I closed down a credit card last night that had a zero balance but £9k credit limit. I have also meal planned until next pay day and am hoping the £24.35 gift card I have will be enough on food until then (19th). I will just need milk, bread and fruit but nothing for main meals as I will be eating out of the freezer. From the 19th I will have £70 per week for food.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 10th Jan 18, 7:56 PM
    • 1,891 Posts
    • 11,487 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    At least you got an interview which is a start . There will always be pros and cons about taking a job, compromise may be needed in the end , am sure you will find a suitable position eventually .

    Food budget going well.
    CC1 £3475 May 2018
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 11th Jan 18, 5:46 AM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,773 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I had a nsd yesterday which is good. Iím very impressed with how little you can spend once you start properly changing ways. As you can probably tell I think I have definitely had my true lightbulb moment. I think I was kidding myself before.

    I need to at some point close my very and next account as they are both with a zero balance but I have £5k credit available and Iím trying to reduce all my credit where possible as I donít need it.

    Have a frugal day everyone.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 11th Jan 18, 6:43 AM
    • 1,543 Posts
    • 4,901 Thanks
    MrsSave
    Well done with all your nsd. I had £5k credit available on my next account but reduced it right down. I like their clothes for the boys so have kept it going, but can't rack up loads of debt on it anymore.
    Mortgage Overpayment: May - £24.02/£20 June - £23.59/£20
    Accounts Skim: May - £35.92 June - £6.76
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S.....life after debt' below:
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 12th Jan 18, 6:14 AM
    • 1,262 Posts
    • 4,773 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I had another nsd yesterday but I have to own up I was tempted to get a takeaway as I had a headache all day and we were out until gone 7 so it felt like the easy option but dh said no and reminded me we are meant to be frugal so we didnít.

    Today Iím mtg a friend in town as I have some errands to do but am hoping to use up my free coffee and cake voucher rather than cash. I got invited to another meal out and I said no, sorry I canít afford it.

    I was talking to a good friend the other day and she mentioned what her plans were for the week ahead and included two dinners out, I made a comment about I donít know how she can afford it and she laughed and said I donít see why I should miss out on a good time just because of money. It really showed me how different Iíve become as I donít feel I miss out as there are other ways to have fun without spending money, I told my sister about this and she said that it is hard over winter to find free things to do. I gave her some examples but she didnít seem convinced but she doesnít know what being frugal is!

    Have a nice day.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £44,810 , Family £ 39,417 total debt £84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

2,910Posts Today

8,246Users online

Martin's Twitter